Q: I need guidance in finding the love and peace I so desperately desire.
How do I stop sabotaging my own happiness?
A: This is such a great question and one that I think many of us can relate to. We all long for inner peace and happiness, and one of the most important lessons I've learned is that happiness isn't something you can find outside of yourself.
Happiness is not an activity. It is a state of mind.
By this, I mean that happiness isn't something we can acquire from external sources, yet it's so common for us to search for it in activities, achievements, or possessions, hoping they will bring lasting joy. I've found that this external search usually leads to frustration because true happiness is an internal state of being—it's something we cultivate from within.
So, how do we achieve happiness?
It starts with understanding that happiness comes from within us. We find happiness by not letting ourselves be caught up in our minds' stories—stories that are often shaped by past pain, patterns, and behaviors. By becoming aware of these stories and choosing not to let them control us, we can begin to cultivate a sense of peace and contentment.
For example, I used to tell myself I wanted inner peace, but whenever something went wrong or didn't go as planned, I would feel frustrated or anxious. I would replay scenarios in my mind, dwelling on what I could have done differently or worrying about what might go wrong next.
Then, one day, I realized that my constant mental chatter and attachment to these thoughts were what was keeping me from experiencing true happiness. I became more aware of when I was caught up in these old stories or narratives and began to make choices based on the present moment instead.
Gradually, I noticed a shift. By letting go of my attachment to these stories and embracing the present moment, I discovered that inner peace and happiness were already within me. It wasn't about changing my external circumstances but instead recognizing my internal dialogue.
I encourage you to reflect on your own stories and patterns.
Happiness is less about what happens to us and more about how we choose to interpret and respond to those events. By shifting our perspective and focusing on our inner state, we can all find the peace and joy we're looking for.
Join my private online community, where I show you how to break free from old thoughts, patterns, and behaviors, empowering you to connect with your Soul and truly savor the richness of life at https://necolestephens.com/awakening-conversations/
