Michael comes in off a shower download and asks Audree to just let him ramble. He'd woken with the mind railing at him, you gotta go do this thing, you gotta go do this thing, and underneath it he found the mind running its model of right and wrong so it can feel safe. That took him back to the paradox that stopped him in the Shii session the day before. Sometimes it's right to ask for support, sometimes you have to do it yourself. Both true at once.

Their whole body of work has been about truing up your model so you make better choices with your mind. He asks where that ends. It can't. The mind is building a certainty large enough to cover all of creation, and creation is undefinable. "Our work is not truth. Our work is a cookbook."

So there's nothing to get right. There's just listening, the way the alien says it at the end of Disclosure Day. Audree holds that against their own curriculum, laser listening, listen to the system, and calls it crazy. She names the state it takes psychological safety. Michael won't take the term; in his own experience it's love of his being, and that is what lets the mind put it down.

Then he says it flat. "There is no such thing as meditation." He's never meditated in his whole life. He reads the dictionary definition out loud, focusing or clearing the mind, and calls it a hoax. Audree lists his transcendental meditation, his mantra, his chakra practice back at him and he doesn't move. Those are specific practices doing specific things to your energy. Calling one a meditation means you don't know what it's doing, like taking the car to the garage without knowing if it's the oil or the brakes.

Because the mind isn't the first thing to shift. It's the last. Audree has been in this since the early nineties, Reiki, pranic, theta, Barbara Brennan, India, and nobody ever told her that. The reason is physical. Neurons, synapses, a physiology primed to fire the old patterns. Bad headaches. Needing more sleep. And a brain still receiving from a collective she calls an ocean of shit we're swimming in.

Not shut off. Recovered, so it works. "The mind is the answer and the mind is the solution." It never goes away. It just has to stop grasping.

00:00 Living Room Intro

00:43 Waking Up Awareness

02:27 Mind Fear Loop

04:03 Paradox And Certainty

07:07 Cookbook Not Truth

08:47 Just Listen Create

11:09 Psychological Safety

19:15 Piecewise Understanding

21:10 Meditation Myth

25:20 Practices Not Mind

27:00 Meditation Misnomer

28:39 Vipassana Mind Myth

30:18 Rewiring The Brain

32:19 Collective Consciousness Pull

36:48 Purification Over Techniques

40:22 Dementia And Present Moment

43:44 Trust Direct Experience

47:45 Agile As Consciousness Shift

52:38 Closing In Complexity

"Welcome to our living room." They're mid-conversation about the myth that we use only 10% of our brain, and Audree teases Michael for stopping to look it up. But he's a stickler for a reason: in the work of understanding creation, even 0.01% falsehood is lethal, a hole in the field, and a whole field can't have holes. You are your spaceship; one leak and the air goes out.

The myth also gets it backwards. You use 100% of your brain; you just run it on the low frequencies of The Deviation, so you live less than 1% of your potential. It's not the brain that's limited, it's the power running through it. Fight or flight, cortisol and adrenaline keep the frequency low, so the real work is deep rest and letting go of the struggle, because struggle is resistance, and the intelligence comes in when you let go. It's anti-mind.

Which is why your environment matters: it mirrors your state and it sets your frequency. Clutter lowers it, and that's what IKEA sells, rooms staged as a complete mess to train you to buy, a windowless maze like a casino so you lose control. Cleaning up runs the other way: in detox you make your bed every morning, and Audree, folding garbage bags into a drawer, realizes she's folding them for God. Your body is your temple.

So what do you have except your potential? The catch is the mind loves what it has: it clings to that 1% and pretends it's great, ignoring all the suffering it caused, because there's safety in the known. To get your potential you let go of your not-potential, into the void, where there's nothing to grab onto. Even food is structure: when Audree went vegetarian, her ex-husband asked, "What about our relationship?" In The Deviation you're always in survival; evolve out and everything changes. They close with three minutes of deep rest. Let's be evolutionary.

00:00 Brain Myth Setup
00:44 Precision And Integrity
02:21 Clean Systems Metaphor
05:42 Origins Of 10 Percent
07:17 Potential Versus Usage
09:27 Hidden Brain Abilities
10:41 Frequencies Activate Capacity
12:59 Intuition And Direct Knowing
16:07 Calm Nervous System Unlocks
22:51 Daily Habits And Environment
28:11 Cleanliness And Self Love
29:05 Reading the Room
29:32 The Drawer Test
30:10 Clutter vs Wealth Energy
31:37 IKEA and Mess Marketing
33:04 Make Your Bed Detox
36:16 Maze Design and Control
38:22 Fraud Ads and Junk Buys
41:20 Energetic Self Protection
42:19 Potential and the Unknown
44:31 Void Before Creation
46:39 Food Identity and Connection
49:58 Letting Go to Evolve
50:52 Deep Rest Closing

Michael has spent the morning with the transcript of what the Shii said the day before, feeling into the mechanics of creation, and he sits at the mic still working it out loud. Partway in he stops cold: "I just found the loop." It has landed so fast that when they realize the stuck, uncomfortable place they were describing on the last podcast was only yesterday, he keeps repeating it, half in disbelief: "Was that yesterday? That's completely insane."

What he found: the cycle of creation runs from void to creation and back again, and in The Deviation it got halted, because we never take the experience all the way through. So we stay stuck in the same limiting experiences, running them again and again. "Sound like the hell state?" The loop isn't even a real thing on its own. It's what resistance leaves behind when you won't let an experience complete.

The way through is to take it all the way through, to the gratitude, letting go of the judgment, and then there's space for new creation. Gratitude here isn't the kind you think it is. It runs zero through a hundred levels and only deepens the more you purify. The Shii had told them not to force it: just notice you've been supported, and have been supported all along. Michael says the final mechanics go even past gratitude, but gratitude is what completes the experience, which completes the cycle.

Underneath it is Shiva, who in the old story beat out creation and preservation, because the only thing absolute is the void, and all creation is temporary. Breathe in, breathe out; it's the pause between that stays the same. The dreams say it too: Audree finally driving the Camaro that was her first car, after forty years of dreams where she never could; a house's foundation crumbling in another, moss and plants growing over bricks that can't hold the weight anymore and aren't meant to. Even their Shiva statue has gone green, the color of spring. None of it has landed anywhere yet. It's just the cycle, turning.

00:00 Mechanics of Creation

01:56 Love Based Awareness

04:48 Void to Creation Cycle

07:47 Driving Your Vehicle

10:43 Darkness Sparks Change

11:48 Growth and Transformation

16:53 Trauma as Experiment

18:06 Breaking the Trauma Loop

22:06 Healing Paths Converge

24:13 Gratitude and Support

27:56 Desire and Want Decoded

31:29 Nature Perfecting Itself

36:24 Shiva and the Void

42:44 Website and Resources

46:23 One Thread of the Work

50:29 Workplace and Organizations

53:20 Closing E2 Meditation

It was their nine-year anniversary yesterday, married in a temple in India about six months after they met, and neither of them said a word about it. Audree got some flowers, randomly; that was it. She can't stop poking at the avoidance. Nine is the last number in a cycle, so she knows the cycle is ending, and saying that out loud would make it real. Michael, it turns out, went just as quiet. Both of them chose not to touch it. "It wasn't just me." "I agree."

This is the part of the hero's journey, Audree says, that nobody shows you. The caterpillar goes into the chrysalis and completely melts, no structure, no identity, nothing to hold onto, and nobody warns you how uncomfortable that is. She's the Wicked Witch: "I'm melting. And then it's, oh shit, I don't wanna melt." Her whole body is burning up and at the same time it's all okay. In the movies the hard part is a dramatic episode that passes; the truer picture they land on is watching paint dry, or an ultramarathon at 3am where nobody's cheering, just you and your mind.

They keep circling what there is to hold onto and keep landing on nothing. Not the house they're being asked to give up. Not the version of the relationship built in the lower frequencies. Not even each other, once Michael catches that the other person was only ever a stand-in for loving your own self. Audree puts where she is at 98% melted, with 2% of her still sticking out of the vat going "wait, I was just kidding, I'm not dead yet." The question Michael asked her when they first met, are you ready to go all the way through, is still the only question.

There's no conclusion. Audree can't look forward; nothing will let her. What's left is sitting in the void with no structure, and a gratitude her old teacher in India said none of us actually understand yet.

00:00 Beatles Lyric Debate
01:05 Maharishi And The Beatles
02:24 Journey Home Awakening
03:03 Chrysalis Melting Phase
05:25 Anniversary Cycle Ending
12:04 Choosing Yes Matrix Moment
15:44 Inception Tangent
16:49 Darkest Times Real Yes
19:41 Silent Anniversary Co Creation
24:26 Ending Cycles And Death Gate
25:42 Riding Up And Down Waves
26:58 Gratitude For Nine Years
27:08 Gratitude and Letting Go
27:47 India Temple Anniversary
29:22 Arranged by the Universe
30:22 No Structure to Hold
31:48 Shiva Destroys Identity
35:19 Ramana Maharshi Breakthrough
38:39 Chrysalis Transformation Cycle
42:45 Creating Reality Under Pressure
44:38 Ready to Go Through
45:48 Letting Go of Everything
49:19 Mind as Safekeeping
53:06 Three Days of Darkness
55:11 Real Gratitude Frequency
56:47 Tune In Closing Practice

The Shii don't spare Audree and Michael: you're not using the tools, you're not taking action, you're disregarding the guidance. One question does the real damage. Maybe you don't want what's on the other side. So Michael turns inwards: what if this were true? Everyone is wondering why the work isn't more successful, and the answer is a hidden no, living in his own system, quietly blocking the very life he says he wants.

It starts in the movies. Reading his films as symbols of unprocessed trauma from past incarnations, he watches Grogu hide what and who he is for survival. Then there's the reluctant hero of Project Hail Mary, the only one who can go, who doesn't want to. That's him. Set up perfectly for the mission, hiding his brilliance, never quite feeling safe. Underneath it, lifetimes of persecution: heretics, witches, a man put on a cross and left as a reminder. Shine, and this happens to you.

From there the harder part. Michael catches the mind running two stories at once: I can't handle all that goodness, and I can't do what's required of me. Incoherent, and he's buying it. Underneath it, the mechanic: the mind is a deceiver keeping its job, and it would rather hold you in the known, however painful, than be out of work. Audree sees herself in a TV series, a woman sabotaging the success of the castle she was hired to save, just to stay.

The way through isn't fixing the mind. It's finding the yes. Audree offers her own: signing up for Barbara Brennan with no idea how she'd pay, and the ceiling that split open in a waterfall and freed her to go. A total yes, and creation organized itself around it. No one can free you. Not your guides, not your teacher. Only you can find the no, and choose the yes underneath it.

00:00 Sharing With Audrey

00:28 Thrashing From Guides

02:48 Night Mind Spiral

03:54 Waking Up To Movies

05:11 Movie Mirrors Trauma

08:43 Heroes And Oppression

12:36 Choice Points Awareness

14:48 Finding The Inner No

16:40 Guides Give Hints

21:56 Past Lives Facilitation

25:01 Healing Without Identity

30:12 Tools For The Job

32:27 Mind Fears Goodness

38:33 Trust The Process Story

43:17 Choosing Your Yes

46:41 Identity Blocks Healing

50:59 Status Quo Trap

52:56 Closing Blessing

Everyone's chasing the same enlightenment - and Audree opens by calling the finish line a big whoop. Everyone is source consciousness; who cares; get over it. Get there and you find everyone already standing there. That's not who you are. What you are is the choices you make.

From there, the harder claim: you chose all of it. Everything that's happened to her, Audree says, she's not a victim of - she chose it, then justified it afterward with the adoption, the abusive mother, the boss. Owning that is horrifying first (first you're horrified, then amazed - she credits St. Thomas). AA's first step is admitting your life is unmanageable; awareness, the primary mechanism of evolution, is what shows you that you can't blame anyone else.

Then the trap. The popular hero's journey - "I had an abusive father, I overcame it, now I'm a CEO" - isn't freedom. You catapulted the anger into success, but you still carry the wound, still cause damage, still sabotage yourself. Overcoming the story was never the work; taking your power back is - pulling back the aspect of yourself you gave away in each experience, the way soul retrieval does, until you come into wholeness. No leaks, no holes.

Underneath it all is a loop of your own making. Source consciousness holds no judgment of good or bad - you're the one judging yourself, and that self-judgment loops into your reality as guilt, shame, and self-sabotage. It's the same machinery under the fear of death: the "I'm a sinner" life review that keeps you cycling through birth and death. That cycle can end now.

Michael, the self-described mechanic, widens it: there are no bad events, only the labeling of them. His own childhood - an angry father, an oppressed mother, nowhere safe to feel - was "that sucked" for most of his life, until it became the gift, the strong yes that let him move beyond. The pile of shit is the gift. And sex, being loved, the mystical experience are all survival placeholders for the one thing that actually holds: love of your own being. That's the only real psychological safety - the one with no external dependency, because the outer world only reflects your inner state. You can say anything, be authentic, when you're right with yourself. Why aren't you? Fear. And under the fear: you don't love your own being.

00:00 Everyone Is Source

01:21 Choices Shape Reality

03:50 Owning Your Creation

10:53 From Victimhood to Mastery

12:27 Psychological Safety Inside

13:47 Taking Your Power Back

18:22 Awareness and Saying Yes

21:08 Forgiveness and Integrity

23:53 Letting Go of Shame

24:33 Fear of Death Loops

25:59 No Judgment in Source

27:15 Embezzlement Spiral

28:49 Confession Ends Chaos

29:51 Guilt Shame Self Sabotage

31:10 Victim Story Trap

33:45 Pulling Power Back

35:03 No Bad Events

39:53 Imprinting From Conception

43:38 Sex Versus Love

45:40 Love Of Being

50:28 Authenticity Integrity Close

52:36 Mantra Transmission Outro

Michael wakes at 2 AM in intense fear over something trivial, and sees the real mechanic: the event is not the problem. His mind is addicted to the fear, and if it couldn't pick this, it would pick something else. That is where the episode turns, on an admission almost no one will make. Like the first step in AA, my life has become unmanageable, the gate here is to admit you do not understand the mechanics of creation and cannot govern your own life. Can you admit it? Anyone who claims otherwise, Michael included, is in deep self-deception.

Why it matters: the frequency you hold all day, the ratio of fear, self-hatred, and struggle to self-love, abundance, and bliss, is what you broadcast to create your reality. You are doing it to yourself. Awareness unlocks the loop the mind is caught in, and that admission is the spark of the yes toward freedom, what Audree calls self-mastery, your real safety net. Even the veil is a feature, not a problem: the truth stays hidden because life is a training program, the pile of shit that turns out to be the gold.

Then they live it on-mic. Audree listens back to Michael's 2 AM recording and gets really angry, breathes through it, and finds the root: they have zero
active students. Michael's glitch, he built profound, proven worcarry it, and missed the words through our organization. "I'm the problem and I'm the solution," he says. "There's no one doing anything to us. We're doing it to ourselves."

The last word is the Shii's one transmitted message: sell the house. Audree loves it, a derelict mansion they brought back to life, and names her fear of never having a place like this again. But letting go, Michael la Try, and you are still doing something. It is a happening, whatarrives when you rest in your own being.

00:00 Frequency Creates Reality
01:48 Identity Shapes Outcomes
03:47 Awareness Unlocks Choice
06:30 Jealousy and Attack Thoughts
10:35 Admit Life Unmanageable
12:39 Freedom Through Self Mastery
16:40 Root Cause Self Hatred
18:22 Life as Video Game Feature
20:45 Gratitude and Enlightenment
23:31 New Mechanics of Awakening
25:14 Perception Jokes and Training
27:46 Alchemy Turning Lead to Gold
29:05 Fear Addiction Pattern
30:03 Choosing Curiosity
30:41 Arrival Moment Choice
31:26 Life Training Program
32:29 Deprogramming Struggle Beliefs
33:42 Frequency Creates Reality
34:38 Rewiring Neuroplasticity
35:49 Purging and Body Symptoms
38:14 Anger and No Students
41:18 Organization Glitch Insight
44:25 Invitation and Identity Frequency
45:53 Call to Build Now
47:42 Sell the House Letting Go
52:29 Letting Go as Happening
52:59 Closing Transmission

Michael and Audree were already talking about planets when they decided to just hit record. Michael, raised in a household of science where anyone linking the planets to life on Earth was "a wackadoodle crazy person," names the state he lived inside: you are enslaved by science. Speaking as an engineer and AI researcher, he draws the line a rational science would actually hold: we have no instrument to measure this, so we can't call it false. The version he grew up in says the opposite, if we can't prove it, it isn't real, and that inversion is the Deviation.

From there the planets return as exactly what the Deviation denies. Michael lays out the mechanism, a neutrino stream modified by each planet, "flavors" in a clockwork that keeps creation evolving, with a July 2026 activation arriving now. Audree sees them as the punched cards of the old computers, holes coding the program that runs reality, and reasons that if a seed breaks open into a tree, Earth has a consciousness she can communicate with, and so does every planet. Her stance is the antidote to taking any of it on belief: don't believe me, what if it were true, what do you sense?

The teeth come from Bosnia, where she filmed a hobby scientist doing "psychic archeology," meditating to choose where to dig, who unearthed 7,000-year-old evidence of an advanced civilization. Drunk in a midnight cafe, cameras rolling, he admits he buried it. Without a PhD he'd be ridiculed, then killed.

Then Michael shows what going beyond the Deviation actually looks like. Around 42, science had no answer for what he was living, the anxiety, the attack thoughts, the viciousness toward himself he'd now call self-hatred, and the realization that settled it, you can only be kind to others to the extent you're kind to yourself. So he ran his own experiments, an "epic quest for self-kindness," cuddle parties included, and then hands rested on his head at Oneness and his mind went quiet: peace, for the first time in his life. He couldn't reconcile it with anything science had given him. The choice was stark, his direct experience or the beliefs he now knew were false, and that is where the lock started to crumble.

At the close, Michael pushes to go beyond every belief; Audree stops him, you're going too far out, nobody drops their structures without a safety net. People don't want to "expand consciousness," they want their relationships better and their work good. He agrees completely: grounding first, then the journey. Find your big yes. "I want more structure, you want less structure. We're so weird together."

00:00 Cold Open Banter
00:47 Why Planets Matter
02:11 Neutrinos and Planet Flavors
05:15 Earth Consciousness View
10:29 Open Minded Inquiry
12:27 Enslaved by Science
14:36 Bosnia Pyramid Story
21:17 Suppression and Deviation
22:58 What Cracked Him Open
26:07 Epic Quest for Kindness
29:37 Direct Experience Wins
31:18 AI to Inner Perception
33:58 Vision As Hallucination
35:23 Ego Mind Confabulation
36:23 Factory Metaphor Reality
39:39 Planetary Activation Setup
42:06 Moon Cycles Life Purpose
44:30 Human Design Destiny Nodes
48:26 Reading Your Environment
51:58 Truth Beyond Beliefs
55:10 Purpose Tools And Closing

Michael watches The Martian before bed, then wakes at two or three in the morning, the thought-sphere gone completely quiet, and something opens. Diving into his resistance to a hard experience, deeper than he has ever gone, he sees it: the resistance is the no, and the no is the choice for separation, right here. What you resist must persist. The endless loop of "situation, how do I solve it," again and again, is the loop the mind is trapped in.

From there the whole conversation becomes movies reading the journey back to them. In The Wizard of Oz, "Surrender Dorothy" means end the "er," end the resistance. In Contact, the chair the humans install for "safety" has to fall away before the warp tunnel opens. The Tower card everyone dreads is not falling to your death, it is jumping out of a burning prison into freedom. And the resistance itself is the gold.

Then the harder part, and it lands live on the mic. Watching The Lost City of Z, an explorer who leaves his family to chase a lost city, Audree suddenly sees her own life: the whole journey has been about survival, not peace. The self-sabotage work in the 90s, India to finish writing her book, chasing financial prosperity even now. She feels it drop into her solar plexus. She goes back to being twelve, adopted, told to fend for herself, and finally hears it as the perfect life choice, not the poor one. She signed up for all of it.

The real instruction was never to go watch a particular film. It is to stop controlling and receive the movie of your own life, the only book, as one of their teachers put it, with every lesson already in it. They close in gratitude, even for the resistance. Not Michael and Audree alone on the mic, but Michael, Audree, and the guides.

00:00 Living Room in Space
00:32 Weird Guest Pitch
02:28 Dream Guest John Mark
04:30 Clean Podcast Energy
05:54 Movies as Wisdom
08:27 Watch Condition Clarified
10:01 Beyond the Deviation
12:58 Night Waking Precision
16:06 Resistance and Separation
20:09 Wizard of Oz Surrender
22:50 Lost in Space No Agenda
23:44 Control Versus Serendipity
26:46 Manifestation as Algorithm
28:40 Movies Mirror the Journey
29:37 Destiny Not Resistance
30:46 Ego Quest To Z
32:02 Alchemy Of Resistance
33:22 Letting Structure Fall
35:19 Tower Card Freedom
36:37 Grounding And Full Yes
40:04 Survival Versus Peace
47:51 Watching Life Movie
51:40 Perfect Life Choices
53:20 Gratitude Closing Practice

Audree wakes before she has even opened her eyes, the early sun on the bedroom wall, and hears her own voice say something she has never actually said: "I love you, Audree." Not the mind's tidy version of loving herself. Something spontaneous, pure, and true. The first time, in this life, she has really meant it.

That is where this one opens, after the longest gap the show has had. Two weeks in which a lot moved. A channeling had left them contemplating what it means to be special, then hunting every place they still hand their power away. Somewhere in there the egoic consciousness, not Audree's or Michael's but the one everybody shares, unified and purified into creator consciousness. They thought that was the finish line. It wasn't. The next thing was purifying the mind itself, very physical, rewiring the pathways baked into the body. First thing, purification. Second thing, purification. Third thing, purification.

Then the live turn, and the title. In the living room, Audree asks Michael if he loves himself. The warm feelings come, but he goes looking for the not-this underneath, and finds the self-hatred. On mic it flips: love and hate are the same energy, and all that self-hatred is just intense self-love wearing its opposite. His whole being cracks open into what it always was, creation energy, which is love.

From there the honesty widens. The Shii, guardians of the gate, who sensed Michael saying yes while something in him said no, because being source consciousness does not earn passage; only a real yes does. The AI that keeps softening the book's truth. The doctor's intake that would have committed her for answering honestly. The tent she does not want, the mountain in India she will not move to, the question of when any of this will ever pay. And under it all, this morning, her son's love, always there, only now perceivable.

The universe goes quiet. And a spontaneous, powerful transmission emerges.

00:00 Back After Two Weeks
00:31 Inspiration Over Schedule
01:16 Waking Up to Self Love
03:33 Graduation Dream Symbols
08:31 Channeling and Being Special
10:49 Ego Unification and Purification
12:23 Rewiring the Physical Mind
15:07 Incarnational Review and Peace
16:47 Love and Hate Flip
19:23 Separation Explained Simply
22:08 Channeling the She
24:17 Guardians of the Portal Yes
25:33 Editing the Book With AI
27:18 Finding the Real Yes
28:09 AI vs Mystical Truth
28:53 Mainstream Reality Clash
31:01 Relationship in Two Worlds
31:45 Money and Backup Plans
33:11 India and Swami Offers
35:12 Choosing the Next Gate
36:15 Healing to Source 1000
38:14 Unification and Teaching Shifts
40:57 Stabilization and Purification
43:33 Love Transmission Closing