B & H Gold

Tubby and Tatty get together again to talk comfy trousers, beaver trip hazards and small spuds

The Mike and Bernadette Winters of pointless woffle are back with thoughts on the Olympics, from cup tossing to introducing pregnancy as an Olympic discipline

B and H celebrate Christmas by doing what they do best. Cheery if useless banter, songs one likes and the other doesn't and generally celebrating their friendship by having a go at each other.

After a short break due to Beth's really not being bothered, the gruesome twosome talk TT, car driving dogs, the British Isles of Galapagos and Phil ****ing Gawne . .. 

B is in the hot seat for a mastermind round on rubbish and rude cracker jokes, H has some unusual Christmas present suggestions, and all the craic about Kate Bush . . .

Rubbish customs associated with eating mince pies, naming toilets after Cornish towns, the world's dirtiest man and Vanilla Ice.

A bread Han Solo, bum moves in chess, Ben on repeat and the smell of meat. In fact, all you really need to know this month .  . . 

A happy hat story, constipated scorpions, loo-side reading, sunny smiles and - god forbid - Taylor Swift

They're back out in the sun smiling at life and ignoring all the nasty bits. B and H talk rude names. a cussing parrot called Roy, whistling genitals, a couple of bloopers and useless mnemonics. Mostly from Beth.

How not working can bring excellent results, blocking loos with phones, artificial intelligence or possibly none at all and can garlic be pornographic?