More Content Talk

Baby, Buy, Buy, Buy!


Listen Later

Buy! Buy today! If you can't buy now, buy later. Download the app so that you can buy when you're working, when you're relaxing, when you're exercising, when you're being lazy, when you're anxious, when you're calm, when you're mellow, when you're out of sight, when you're up, when you're down, when you're feeling blue, and when you're feeling screwed there's only one thing you need to do. Buy baby! Just buy, buy, buy. Shop till you drop. Shop till you can't stop. Take out that credit card. If you don't have one, you surely can get one. Step right up and have a seat. Sit on down and rest your feet. The customer is always sweet, always right, always nice, and certainly the last you'll ever beat. Have I ever told you how good you would look in that dress? Those jewels? This three story suite. Come on over and take a peek. You know you want it. You know you need it. You got to have it. You know we mean. So come on by. Take a gander and let if fly. Let it go. Treat yourself. Have a bite. Don't be shy. Give it a try. It's better than good at prices you just can't beat. What are waiting for? Try today. Subscribe. Enjoy. Delight yourself. Surprise yourself. Take a chance on me. You can do it. I know you can. Trust yourself. Have you lost weight? You look great. Are you in movies? I love the way you speak. Need a car? Need a home? Don't have credit? How about a loan? I'll need that back in forty weeks. Wait, don't go. Don't be rude. Don't be crass. Don't be a downer. Live a little. Grab life by the ass! You heard me chief. You're a star. You're the best. You're different from the rest. So have some faith and take a leap. Don't take a leak or you'll be up shit's creek! Ha, ha, ha! Seriously, what do you need? I got it all. Everything you'll ever need. Feeling low? Feeling slow? Feeling eighteen stories down below? Don't you worry. Don't you weep. I have just the pills you need, fact and science free. Take some ginseng. Take some ginger. Take some Visine in your sphincter. Don't like rules and regulations? How about some fascinating allegations? How about some relieving procrastinations? How about some right wing accusations? How about you lose your sense of self? How about you act like everybody else? Or you could be unique! Whatever you want. What you like. Whatever thought's in your little mind. Hear me out. Hear me speak. Hear my pitch and please don't bitch because it's my right to watch you sink. And it's your choice. And it's your voice. You are the one. You are a king. You are a queen. So it's your fault when you default. It's your decision to go into remission. It's your progression when you're in recession. It's your problem and we'll solve them for fifteen dollars a week. Only fifteen dollars a week! What a deal. What a steal. So much money, so little time. So many wallets that will all be mine. So many families, so many lives destroyed, distraught and downsized. But it's better than it seems. It's a wonderful world. It's a beautiful day. What a beautiful girl. But what did she say? I'm paying attention. I'm hearing you out. You sound better than you think. You should be a singer. You should be an actor. You should pursue your dreams. But there's a long list of things you'll need. I'm here to help. I'm here to create wealth. I will make you the me you want to be. I will help you be the person you hate the most. Let's have a toast! This is the first day of the rest of your life. Let's start it off with a bang, with boom, with a pow, with a zoom. You're the champ. You're the greatest. You own it all and you have the latest. Good for you. You did it bud. You made it to the big time, the big show, the grand hotel. Well done. Bravo. Come on in anytime and we'll treat you the way you deserve to be treated. That's right, you deserve everything you've ever needed. So come and get it. Don't be defeated. Spend, spend, spend. Buy, buy, buy baby! Buy, buy, buy! Oh and if you ever end up jail we'll be here to front your bail. 

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

More Content TalkBy Christopher P. Carter