Shandy is back with Bachelor in Paradise, Season 9 recaps. Today we're breaking down episode 8!


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Time Stamps:
0:00 - Housekeeping
2:08 - Episode 8 Kick Off
4:03 - Michael’s Date
4:45 - Back On The Beach
8:38 - Back On The Date
10:24 - Jordan & Tayler
14:13 - Jordan’s Date
16:57 - Evening
36:18 - The Next Day
36:53 - Double Date
38:58 - Katie Thurston
44:49 - Paradise Roast
51:17 - The Next Day
51:22 - Rose Ceremony Cocktail Party
52:54 - Andy’s A-Game
53:18 - Who We Would Go For


If you have a relationship question, write us at: dearshandy@gmail.com

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More Sharleen
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sharleenjoynt
Blog - http://www.alltheprettypandas.com

More Andy
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine

Produced by Gabrielle Galon - https://www.instagram.com/gabsamillion
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Bachelor In Paradise Recap: Ep 8 | Katie Thurston Hosts A Roast - Ep 267

Dear Shandy is a dating advice podcast where Sharleen Joynt and her husband Andy Levine answer your burning relationship questions from the perspective of a happily married couple. Sharleen and Andy are two fiercely independent people who are skeptical of love stories and don’t believe in fate, soulmates, or The One. So how did they wind up so happily married? They learned the dating lessons by living them.

Get no-holds-barred, honest advice from two people who actually have what you want: a fun, blissful partnership. But there's more! As an iconic former Bachelor contestant, Sharleen invites Bachelor Nation couples on for intimate double dates called Love Fests. Last, but certainly not least, Sharleen brings her insider knowledge and Andy delivers hilarious comic relief to combine for what are hands down the best Bachelor recaps in the business. New episodes drop every Thursday, and during Bachelor seasons, recaps drop on Tuesdays!

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After Shows

This episode is a surprise all around because Shandy had absolutely zero intention of recapping their experience officiating their friends' wedding. However, on Instagram you requested this with a fiery passion that couldn't be ignored! So today is all about Shandy as WEDDING OFFICIANTS!

As you may know, on Saturday April 26th, 2024, Shandy officiated the wedding of Nick Viall and Natalie Joy, their longtime friends. This episode will contain reflections on the experience, tips (and regrets!) for those planning their own weddings/officiant speeches, unexpected moments, and overall takeaways! Listen on for this unique Dear Shandy episode!


Thanks to our sponsors!
- Go to https://www.FastGrowingTrees.com and use code SHANDY at checkout for an additional 15% off!
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0:00 - Introduction
2:37 - How/When Did Nick & Natalie Ask You To Be Officiants?
5:58 - How Did You Make The Decision To Officiate As A Couple?
6:10 - Was One Of You The “Official” Officiant?
8:13 - Would You Have Accepted For Any Couple In Your Life Or Only A “Special” Couple?
9:05 - How Did You Prepare?
11:27 - What Sort Of Planning Did You Do With The Couple?
14:50 - Humor
17:20 - How Much Did You Share With The Couple Beforehand?
17:43 - Have Either Of You Ever Officiated A Wedding Before?
17:47 - Since You’ve Known Nick Longer Was It Difficult To Make It Feel Equally Personal For Natalie?
18:59 - Were You Nervous? Who Was More Nervous?
22:55 - Overall Tips/Regrets
25:31 - Did It Make You Nostalgic For Your Own Wedding?
28:58 - Do You Feel More Responsible To Stay Together Now?
29:38 - Can Shandy Officiate My Wedding?
30:40 - How Did You Enter The Ceremony?
30:58 - The Couple’s Vows
31:07 - Unexpected Moment
33:05 - Was The Baby A Part Of The Ceremony?
33:23 - Did Nick Cry?
34:08 - Did You Cry?
35:06 - How Are You Friends With Nick?
38:28 - Did You Ride The Mechanical Bull?
39:09 - Was There Anyone Who Made You Starstruck?
40:22 - Did They Tell You What To Wear?
40:47 - Sharleen’s Looks
44:04 - Did You Bring Ruby?
44:50 - People Article Misspellings
46:44 - What Was Your Favorite Things About Savannah?
48:02 - Overall Thoughts


If you have a relationship question, write us at: dearshandy@gmail.com

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations

Subscribe and watch the episodes on YouTube! https://bit.ly/SubscribeDearShandy

Follow us!
Dear Shandy - https://www.instagram.com/dearshandy
Sharleen Joynt - https://www.instagram.com/sharleenjoynt
Andy Levine - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy


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We're Officiants! Officiating Nick & Natalie Joy Viall's Wedding - Ep 305

It's Q&A time! We're back, answering YOUR burning questions! If you have a tumultuous relationship history, is "boring" maybe a good thing? If you feel yourself becoming resentful in your relationship because your sacrifices outnumber your partner's, what to do? And not one, not two, but THREE heavy-hitting platonic friendship questions! What does Shandy consider a "friendship-reconsidering" level crime? Come join us in our living room for the Shandy take!


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Time Stamps:
0:00 - Q1: Does Healthy = Boring?
10:35 - Q2: My Friend Accused Me Of “Bitching & Complaining” And Our Friendship Is Suddenly Over—What Happened?!
23:50 - Q3: My Friend Moved Out Of Town And Now Zoom-Joins Our In-Person Hangs—Am I The Asshole For Disliking This?
33:46 - Q4: Should I Let My Friend’s Outrageous Wedding Request Make Me See Her Differently?
46:03 - Q5: I’ve Sacrificed More For This Relationship Than My Boyfriend Has And Am Feeling Resentful—Help!


If you have a relationship question, write us at: dearshandy@gmail.com

Subscribe and watch the episodes on YouTube! https://bit.ly/SubscribeDearShandy

Follow us!
Dear Shandy - https://www.instagram.com/dearshandy
Sharleen Joynt - https://www.instagram.com/sharleenjoynt
Andy Levine - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy


Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Q&A! Too Much Complaining, The Seed Of Resentment & Is "Boring" Healthy? - Ep 304

At the heart of so many relationship questions we've received—and relationships in general—is a common thread: EMPATHY. This "healing force", as our esteemed guest calls it, has the power to not only heal our relationships with others, but with ourselves. So why do so few of us understand its powers?

Today we're honored to be joined by THE foremost expert on empathy, Dr. Judith Orloff, dubbed “the godmother of the empath movement.” Dr. Orloff is a board-certified psychiatrist and the New York Times best-selling author of several books, including 2017's landmark "The Empath’s Survival Guide" and her latest, "The Genius of Empathy: Practical Skills to Heal Your Sensitive Self, Your Relationships, and the World". Today she helps dispel the misconceptions around empathy, demonstrates how to draw healthy boundaries, and explains the transformative, healing power of SELF-empathy. She explains why it's OK that your partner isn't the same empathy "type" as you, whether or not you can have too much empathy, and how to approach someone whose beliefs you fundamentally disagree with. Today's conversation is the warm hug you needed and will hopefully inspire healing in your more complicated relationships, especially the one you have with yourself.


Thank you to our sponsor!
- Go to https://www.rocketmoney.com/SHANDY to save money and cancel unwanted subscriptions with just a few taps!


More Dr. Judith Orloff:
- The book, "The Genius Of Empathy": https://bit.ly/3U6uCRk
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/judith.orloff.md
- Website: https://drjudithorloff.com


Time Stamps:
0:00 - Welcome To The Legendary Dr. Judith Orloff!
3:41 - What Is Empathy & Empathy Vs Compassion
5:10 - What Are Her Thoughts On The Term “Empath” Becoming Mainstream?
6:52 - The Biggest Misconceptions About Empathy
10:32 - Drawing Boundaries
16:19 - Is Empathy Something We’re Born With? Nature Vs Nurture
17:31 - Can One Really Become *More* Empathic?
20:38 - The Empathy Types
23:13 - Mismatched Empathy In Relationships
29:19 - Tips For Self Empathy
31:24 - How Can I Make Empathy Work In A Way That Isn’t Ultimately To My Disadvantage?
34:04 - Is Self Awareness A Prerequisite to Self Empathy?
34:54 - Tips For Avoiding Empathy-Deficient Types
37:10 - When It Feels Like Someone Doesn’t Deserve Empathy
39:19 - Empathy Vs Enablement
43:29 - Is There Such A Thing As Too Much Empathy?
45:12 - Sharleen’s Takeaways
46:11 - Tips For Empathizing With Someone Whose Beliefs You Fundamentally Disagree With
49:06 - Shandy Debrief


If you have a relationship question, write us at: dearshandy@gmail.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Genius Of Empathy With Dr. Judith Orloff - Ep 303

Just 3 weeks after our Love Fest with Gerry Turner and Theresa Nist, the couple announced in a Good Morning America interview that, after only 3 months of marriage, they're getting divorced. Many of you wanted to hear our take on this bombshell news, particularly in the wake of such a recent Love Fest. So today, in a first-of-its-kind bonus episode, we're answering your burning questions Q&A style.


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- Go to https://www.FastGrowingTrees.com and use code SHANDY at checkout for an additional 15% off!


Our Love Fest with Gerry and Theresa:
https://youtu.be/hWCr91mBGb0?si=y_xga_xJH9MhReo3


Referenced "bet" of Andy's:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Ce-GWUtDbhq/?igsh=Znhkamk2bGhrNDAw


Time Stamps:
0:00 - Introduction
2:41 - How Shocked Is Shandy?
6:46 - When Did You Record The Love Fest With Gerry & Theresa?
7:29 - Was Dear Shandy The Source Of The Tea That They Were Living Apart?
10:07 - Why Do You Think It Didn’t Work Out?
16:20 - When Recording The Love Fest, Did You Sense Anything Was Off?
20:28 - Do You Think They Were Honest On Your Love Fest?
20:39 - Did ABC Push Them To Come On Dear Shandy?
21:20 - Is There A Dear Shandy Love Fest Curse?
26:07 - Did Andy Bet Money On How Long They Would Last?
27:00 - Do You Think 3 Months Was Enough To Determine It Wouldn’t Work?
27:10 - If You Two Met At Gerry & Theresa’s Age And Lived Far Apart, What Would You Have Done?
29:00 - Does This Make You Love The Golden Bachelor Less?
29:44 - Do You Think Gerry Will Get Back Together With Leslie?
30:25 - Should Golden Bachelor Follow A Love Is Blind Format And Cast People From The Same City?
31:06 - Should The Franchise Scrap Golden Bachelorette?
32:27 - Why Do You Think They Did The Televised Wedding & Do You Think Production Feels Guilty?
34:37 - Bonus Question 
35:03 - Closing Thoughts


If you have a relationship question, write us at: dearshandy@gmail.com

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More Dear Shandy
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dearshandy
Facebook - https://fb.me/dearshandy

More Sharleen
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sharleenjoynt
Blog - http://www.alltheprettypandas.com

More Andy
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine

Produced by Gabrielle Galon - https://www.instagram.com/gabsamillion


Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

GOLDEN DIVORCE?! Gerry Turner & Theresa Nist's Bombshell Announcement - Ep 302

She's baaaack! For the first time ever, and by popular request, we've brought BACK a Hot Topic guest to pick up where we left off! Our first episode with Maria Avgitidis—4th generation matchmaker and host of the Ask A Matchmaker podcast—was such a hit that you asked for more! In case you missed our Confessions Of A Matchmaker episode with Maria, aka Part 1, it's here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dear-shandy/id1525795747?i=1000597672805


Today Maria returns to answer follow up questions from Part 1, but also to give us her tough-love and honest take on the rules of dating. Sharpen your pencils, Shandies, because Dating School is in session! How is swipe culture affecting dating today? What's Maria's 12-Date Method, and her Pre-Date 3-2-1 Prep? Who pays on the first date, and does she believe in living together before getting engaged? Finally, what is Maria's "controversial" opinion, and will Shandy agree or disagree? As always, Maria's brutal honesty is a breath of fresh air and Shandy's delighted to welcome her back!


Thank you to our sponsors!
- Go to https://www.drinkAG1.com/DEARSHANDY to get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase!
- Go to https://www.apostrophe.com/SHANDY and use our code SHANDY to get your first visit for only five dollars!
- Go to https://www.FastGrowingTrees.com and use code SHANDY at checkout for an additional 15% off!
- Go to https://jennikayne.com and use code DEARSHANDY to get 15% off your first order!
- Go to https://www.shopbeam.com/SHANDY and use code SHANDY at checkout for up to 40% off!


More Maria:
- Agape Match: https://agapematch.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matchmakermaria
- Ask A Matchmaker Podcast: https://plinkhq.com/i/1521530338?to=page


Time Stamps:
0:00 - Welcome BACK To Matchmaker Maria!
2:41 - How Does She Define Her 93% Success Rate?
8:49 - What’s The Most Awkward Conversation She’s Had To Have With A Client?
11:38 - Decisions Paying Clients Make That Frustrate Her
16:21 - What Would She Say To People Who Think Her Matchmaking Fees Are Too High?
24:46 - How Swipe Culture Affects The World Of Matchmaking
29:01 - The 12-Date Rule
40:30 - Pre-Date 3-2-1 Prep
47:44 - Who Pays On The First Date?
52:29 - Maria’s Controversial Opinion
56:30 - What If Someone Never Gets Asked On A Second Date?
59:39 - Living Together Before Getting Engaged
1:09:01 - Moving For Love & “Importing”
1:14:53 - Shandy Debrief


If you have a relationship question, write us at: dearshandy@gmail.com


Subscribe and watch the episodes on YouTube! https://bit.ly/SubscribeDearShandy

More Dear Shandy
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dearshandy
Facebook - https://fb.me/dearshandy

More Sharleen
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sharleenjoynt
Blog - http://www.alltheprettypandas.com

More Andy
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine

Produced by Gabrielle Galon - https://www.instagram.com/gabsamillion


Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bachelor In Paradise Recap: Ep 8 | Katie Thurston Hosts A Roast - Ep 267

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