Bachelor Theory

Bachelor Theory is saying goodbye, but this is a triumphant ending! I've been so excited about another project and I know in my heart I'm not in Bachelor Theory for the "right reasons" anymore. I would love for you to find me on Talking Laughing Loving Breathing (podcast and YouTube show) with Crosby Fitzgerald, and we're absolutely going to be covering The Bachelor there in the future, along with a ton of other stuff. Thank you, thank you, thank you for giving my pandem pod a shot!

A lot of the guys showed their true colors in this episode and surprise, a lot of them are red - red flags, that is. Katie trades one problem (Thomas) for another (Blake), and the shit show continues...

A Bachelor Theory episode, what is this, February of 2021? We're touching in real quick before Monday night's Bachelorette premiere about changes to the season changes to the pod, what's lookin' good and what's not so much. This is the homecoming dance of episodes - welcome back to Bachelor Theory!

For some post-season reflections, I'm joined by my long-ago-Tinder-date-turned-good-time-gal-pal and all around girls' girl Katy Huff, of Texas Roller Derby's Holy Rollers and Austin-based sketch group Ladies Eat Free. She explains why her hygiene isn't good enough to be on The Bachelorette, and brands one contestant a "carafe girl." Find out which one, and also what the fuck that means. 

Comic and TV writer Robby Hoffman (Chris Gethard Show, Robby Hoffman Consulting Group) shares some final thoughts after the finale episode. Robby tells us why she loves an unpopular member of Bachelor Nation, and likens another to Ruth Bader Ginsburg. She explains who in your family you ACTUALLY want to like your partner, and demands some answers about the ring on Matt's mom's finger.

Comedian and improviser Chris Trew is back, and we're limping, broken, towards the finale. This is a Fantasy Suites episode SO unhorny it has to be seen to be believed. We somehow find a way to shit on milk baths, and I tell Bri something my therapist once told me.

Here's what I know, unequivocally: Taylor's tweets were racist, homophobic, fatphobic, and completely unacceptable, no matter how young she was. I have zero sympathy for her for saying those things. People are right to be angry and hurt, and she deserves to be held accountable. She should not be profiting off her platform right now. The rest? I don't know. So I'm shutting the fuck up.

This is the second installment of Group Date, a series where I gather hosts of other Bachelor podcast hosts that I admire and find out more about their journeys through the Bachelor cosmos. This week I'm joined by the Blachelorettes, Fantasy Suites Podcast, and Will You Accept This Chisme?. Lex, Olivia, Alma and Melanie reveal the histories behind their podcasts, Bachelor Nation crushes, and what they would do on their hometown dates.

Actress, comedian and Georgia peach Crosby Fitzgerald joins me to talk about what it's like to be living in a time not only when women are able to drive Jeeps, but also a time when moms can be named Lauren. Crosby recognizes those skydiving instructors for the clowns that they are, and confides in us about a relationship problem she's having (her girlfriend won't play Guess Who? with her).

It's that weird, weird week that sneaks up on us every season - when you feel like there's still 100 women left, but all of a sudden they're like, "Hometowns are next week!" We find out who's taking Matt home to their parents, and who's free to embark on the best drug years of their lives. Sorry I pressured you to do drugs on my podcast, won't happen again.