I can recall being very young learning about Phantom Limb Syndrome. Like many African-American families, diabetes is ever present in our blood line and my grandmother lost both of her legs as a result of it. Her stemless body was often stricken with painful flashes of legs that used to lance a path in the ground so deep the trees gave way to her approach. The sensation of what was lost can be more piercing than a knife.
Life manifests this syndrome in less somatic ways, and we often find ourselves feeling for something lost along this unscripted path of existence. The spirit's muscles remember what it feels like to be free. We become married to the feeling of what we allowed to be.
Somewhere along the way, we try to unlearn the urge to grasp and instead let go to the wind. Forgiveness flows in the gulf stream of release if you can set your sail on that path.
All esoteric bullshit to say: forgive yourself. Nobody gave you an instruction manual. You did the best you could at the time. Now, move on. I'm reminding myself of this everyday.
I made this mix on a Monday, so I put something together to arm for my spirit for the week ahead. I hope it does the same for you. Soulful goodness.
get the free download of Manuals' single "MPG" at www.manuals.bandcamp.com