Backward Sweater

Catherine closes out her personal series with an honest look at “the messy middle”—the in-between chapter that sits after the hardest seasons and before the next expansive one. She shares what it’s like to live alone in a new city for the first time, to come home to silence after years of chaos, and to navigate deep loneliness while still growing into a career, leadership, and a fuller identity beyond motherhood. Catherine talks about the shifting roles that come with aging parents, adult children, and changing faith, and how isolation can plant seeds of clarity, self-awareness, and direction if you stop running from it. She also shares the surprising freedoms of this season—choice, stillness, journaling, self-care, and learning new things—while holding the real tension of paying bills and planning for the future. She ends by inviting listeners into the next chapter of the show: bringing guests into the room to explore their own messy middles, pivots, and “backwards sweater” moments.

💬 What You'll Hear  

• What Catherine means by “the messy middle” and why it’s lonelier than people admit  
• Living alone in a new city: silence, stillness, and no built-in community (yet)  
• The emotional shift of aging parents and the fear of being “orphaned”  
• How loneliness can plant seeds of clarity, self-awareness, and direction  
• The freedom of choice after years of caretaking (including the surprisingly big “what’s for dinner?” shift)  
• Balancing being a mom to adult kids while becoming more of herself  
• Holding multiple identities at once: mom, partner, leader, and “just a girl” evolving  
• Staying true to purpose while still paying bills and thinking about retirement  
• Why uncertainty can be scary *and* exciting—and how to follow the breadcrumbs  
• How Catherine learned leadership by observing what *not* to do  
• What’s next for the podcast: inviting guests with different stories into the room

✨ Takeaway  
The messy middle may feel quiet, lonely, and uncertain—but it can also be the most clarifying chapter of all. If you stop running from the silence, it can show you what you want, who you’re becoming, and what you’re ready to build next.

⚖️ Disclaimer
These stories are mine — told through my eyes, my lens, and my lived experience. Each person moves through life in their own way. I own these stories, and I share them to inspire us all to live truthfully, freely, and as our most authentic selves.

🌿 Connect with Catherine
If you’re in a messy middle right now, you’re not behind—you’re becoming. Share this episode with someone who’s in a transition season, and send Catherine a message with this: *What’s one “seed of clarity” your lonely or uncertain season is teaching you right now?*

Follow Catherine on Instagram to keep following the story.

Theme Song Written and Composed by Trevor Lynch and Michaela Dennis and recorded by Trevor Lynch in Chicago IL
Photo: Baumgardner Studio Yakima, WA
Production: Red Trux Productions Snohomish, WA

In this episode, Catherine reflects on what it means to tell your story without turning someone else into the villain. As listeners ask for more “details” about her past, she explains why she chooses to share from a place of insight rather than exposure—especially when other people’s lives and experiences are part of the story too. From there, she opens up about a deeper truth beneath her marriage, grief, and growth: for years, she struggled to name, express, and honor what she needed. Catherine explores how losing her voice, over-accommodating, and explaining things away kept her disconnected from herself, and how everything began to shift when she stopped seeking justification and started getting clear about her values and needs. She shares the core things she now requires in love and life—psychological safety, honest communication, active listening, support for her full self, and the feeling of being chosen—and offers a gentle but powerful invitation for listeners to do the same.

💬 What You'll Hear

• Why Catherine doesn’t feel called to share every “juicy” detail of her story
• How to tell your story without making someone else the villain
• The difference between justifying your exit and naming what you needed
• How losing your voice can quietly shape a marriage, a family, and your identity
• Why communication is not optional in a healthy relationship
• Catherine’s clearest needs now: psychological safety, honest communication, active listening, support, and being chosen
• What psychological safety actually means in everyday love
• Why you don’t need permission or approval to live in full alignment with who you are
• A loving challenge for anyone in a hard relationship: learn what you need, then say it clearly

✨ Takeaway

You do not need to justify your needs to make them valid. The more clearly you understand what you require in love, friendship, work, and life, the more honestly you can live—and the less likely you are to disappear inside someone else’s version of the story.

⚖️ Disclaimer
These stories are mine — told through my eyes, my lens, and my lived experience. Each person moves through life in their own way. I own these stories, and I share them to inspire us all to live truthfully, freely, and as our most authentic selves.

🌿 Connect with Catherine
If this episode made you reflect on a time when you judged others or needed forgiveness yourself, share it with someone who showed you grace when you didn't deserve it.

Follow Catherine on Instagram to keep following the story.

Theme Song Written and Composed by Trevor Lynch and Michaela Dennis and recorded by Trevor Lynch in Chicago IL
Photo: Baumgardner Studio Yakima, WA
Production: Red Trux Productions Snohomish, WA

Catherine introduces “mining for miracles” as a daily practice of training your attention toward what’s good—especially in a world that can feel heavy, sarcastic, or stuck in complaint. She explains that after witnessing sudden loss (and remembering how quickly life can change), she refuses to coast through this season of her life on autopilot. Instead, she starts each day with a simple invitation: “Show me how good it can get,” and looks for ways to be both an observer of miracles and a source of one for someone else. Through stories—like a last-minute rental car upgrade, an unexpected schedule opening, and the quiet beauty of a sunrise—Catherine shows how gratitude becomes the “portal” that helps you notice the magic you might otherwise miss. She also acknowledges that hard mountains still exist (job loss, grief, uncertainty), but argues that you can walk those mountains with people through generosity, presence, and perspective. She closes with a clear challenge: don’t wait for life to get better—start noticing the better that’s already here, because it changes everything.

💬 What You'll Hear

• What Catherine means by “mining for miracles” (and why it’s more than cheesy positivity)
• A morning practice to set your focus: “Show me how good it can get”
• How attention works: the more you look for good, the more evidence you start to see
• A real-life “miracle” story: needing a rental car and receiving an unexpected SUV upgrade
• Small, everyday miracles: a meeting moving, a hard conversation turning into connection, a calm nervous system
• Why gratitude is the “floodgate” that opens a day full of miracles
• A perspective shift from travel: noticing ease (a bed that fits, coffee at home, a car that starts)
• Holding space for hard things without letting negativity steal your joy
• How to be a “mini miracle” for someone else through generosity and support
• A full-circle adoption moment: the 9/13 birthday synchronicity and her daughter becoming “just like her”
• The weekly invitation: jot miracles down, speak them out loud, and thank them

✨ Takeaway

Miracles aren’t only the big, dramatic moments—they’re often the small, steady proofs that life is supporting you. When you practice gratitude and look for the good on purpose, you don’t deny the hard stuff—you build the strength and clarity to move through it with more peace, more joy, and more impact.

⚖️ Disclaimer
These stories are mine — told through my eyes, my lens, and my lived experience. Each person moves through life in their own way. I own these stories, and I share them to inspire us all to live truthfully, freely, and as our most authentic selves.

🌿 Connect with Catherine
If this episode made you reflect on a time when you judged others or needed forgiveness yourself, share it with someone who showed you grace when you didn't deserve it.

Follow Catherine on Instagram to keep following the story.

Theme Song Written and Composed by Trevor Lynch and Michaela Dennis and recorded by Trevor Lynch in Chicago IL
Photo: Baumgardner Studio Yakima, WA
Production: Red Trux Productions Snohomish, WA

Catherine dives into the power of “revising the story”—the internal narrative that quietly shapes what you believe is possible for your body, your money, your relationships, and your future. She starts by naming the old ticker-tape thoughts that used to run her life: scarcity, shame, religious guilt, fear, comparison, and the belief that she was flawed or stuck. Then she shares the turning point: when she intentionally changed what she told herself every day, her life began to change from the inside out. Through practical examples—fitness, finances, and love—Catherine explains how a new story creates new focus, new choices, and new outcomes. She closes by inviting listeners to gently rewrite a few words in their own narrative so they can thrive, not just survive, and teases the next step in her process: “Mining for Miracles.”

💬 What You'll Hear

• What “revising the story” actually looks like in real life (not just positive quotes)
• The harsh inner narrative Catherine used to live with: lack, shame, fear, comparison, and self-blame
• How she stopped waiting for outside validation and started giving herself the words she needed
• A mindset shift around fitness: moving from “I can’t” to “I’m an athlete” and letting actions follow
• A mindset shift around money: from “I’m always broke” to “everything is working out for me”
• Why she learned to feel gratitude for paying bills—and how that changed her relationship with money
• A mindset shift around love and worthiness: from “who would want me?” to knowing what she brings
• How to spot old feedback loops and ask: “Is this the new story—or the old one talking?”
• Why you’re allowed to write your own rules instead of letting society define your worth
• A closing prompt: what words do you need to change so you can thrive instead of survive?

✨ Takeaway
Your life follows the story you repeat. When you change the words you tell yourself—especially in the areas where you feel stuck—you change what you notice, what you choose, and what you believe you deserve. A few new sentences, practiced daily, can become a new direction.

⚖️ Disclaimer
These stories are mine — told through my eyes, my lens, and my lived experience. Each person moves through life in their own way. I own these stories, and I share them to inspire us all to live truthfully, freely, and as our most authentic selves.

🌿 Connect with Catherine
If this episode made you reflect on a time when you judged others or needed forgiveness yourself, share it with someone who showed you grace when you didn't deserve it.

Follow Catherine on Instagram to keep following the story.

Theme Song Written and Composed by Trevor Lynch and Michaela Dennis and recorded by Trevor Lynch in Chicago IL
Photo: Baumgardner Studio Yakima, WA
Production: Red Trux Productions Snohomish, WA

Catherine reflects on regret through a compassionate lens—less “what I should’ve done” and more “what I wish I could lovingly tell my younger self.” She shares a grounding quote about mountains (obstacles) and how the growth you earn while climbing them stays with you long after the hardship is behind you. From there, she talks candidly about how silencing your voice can shape major life decisions, and how she wishes she’d cultivated joy and identity earlier instead of trying to become who the world wanted her to be. Catherine also offers heartfelt reflections on parenting—moving from control and perfection toward connection, curiosity, and nervous system regulation—plus the ways divorce, grief, and financial insecurity impacted her kids. She closes with hope: mountains are inevitable, but with grace, resilience, and self-trust, what feels impossible today can become a distant view in the rearview mirror.

💬 What You'll Hear

• A powerful “mountain” quote and why obstacles can become opportunities
• Catherine’s take on regret: reflection without shame, compassion without rewriting your life
• How silencing your voice (and listening to the loudest voice in your head) can shape your choices
• What she wishes she’d cultivated earlier: joy, identity, and self-trust
• The perspective shift of parenting adult children—and how every child experiences family differently
• Unsolicited (but loving) parenting advice: presence, eye contact, listening, and connection over perfection
• Why kids don’t need rigid control to become good humans—they need safety, love, and boundaries
• A reframing of “skills”: why bedwetting, emotions, and behavior are learned like riding a bike
• Reflections on divorce, bankruptcy, grief, and the hope that time can soften even the hardest seasons

✨ Takeaway

Regret doesn’t have to be punishment—it can be a gentle teacher. When you look back with compassion, you can keep the wisdom without carrying the shame. And when you parent (or re-parent yourself) with connection over control, you create the kind of safety that lasts.

⚖️ Disclaimer
These stories are mine — told through my eyes, my lens, and my lived experience. Each person moves through life in their own way. I own these stories, and I share them to inspire us all to live truthfully, freely, and as our most authentic selves.

🌿 Connect with Catherine
If this episode made you reflect on a time when you judged others or needed forgiveness yourself, share it with someone who showed you grace when you didn't deserve it.

Follow Catherine on Instagram to keep following the story.

Theme Song Written and Composed by Trevor Lynch and Michaela Dennis and recorded by Trevor Lynch in Chicago IL
Photo: Baumgardner Studio Yakima, WA
Production: Red Trux Productions Snohomish, WA

Catherine answers the question people react to most—why she chose to have seven children while living in poverty. With humor and honesty, she walks through early motherhood, the chaos of raising four kids under five, and the reality of building a family without financial stability. A health scare (including hair loss and a frightening diagnosis) led her to believe she couldn’t have more children—until an unexpected pregnancy changed everything and became a turning point in her healing. From there, Catherine shares how foster care became part of her family’s story, with more than 30 children coming through her home, and how two adoptions ultimately reshaped the trajectory of her life and her kids’ lives. Looking back, she doesn’t glamorize the struggle—but she honors the love, resilience, and legacy that grew from it.

💬 What You'll Hear

• Why Catherine refuses to judge anyone’s decision to have kids—poor or not
• What it was like raising four children under five while barely getting by
• The health scare that made her think her life (and motherhood) was about to change
• The surprise pregnancy she was told was impossible—and why it felt like healing
• Why she became a foster mom, and what foster care is truly about
• How adoption impacted her children and the “version of family” each child experienced
• A full-circle moment: seeing her values show up in her adult children’s lives

✨ Takeaway

Your story doesn’t have to look perfect to be meaningful. Catherine’s journey is a reminder that love, consistency, and perspective can build a legacy—even when the external circumstances feel unstable or unfinished.

⚖️ Disclaimer

This episode is for educational and inspirational purposes only and reflects Catherine’s personal experiences and opinions. It is not medical, legal, financial, or mental health advice. If you need support, please consult a qualified professional.

🌿 Connect with Catherine

If this episode resonated, share it with someone who needs permission to release shame and honor their story. And if you’ve ever felt judged for the way your life looks “on paper,” send Catherine a message on social media and tell her: what part of your story are you learning to hold with more compassion?

Follow Catherine on Instagram to keep following the story.

Theme Song Written and Composed by Trevor Lynch and Michaela Dennis and recorded by Trevor Lynch in Chicago IL
Photo: Baumgardner Studio Yakima, WA
Production: Red Trux Productions Snohomish, WA

Catherine dives into her "policing era" - a time when she believed she was right about everything and everyone else was wrong. From picketing to lecturing friends about their life choices, she shares how her strict Catholic upbringing led her to judge others' bedrooms, politics, and personal decisions. But this embarrassing chapter became her greatest teacher in humility. Through divorce, bankruptcy, loss, and the forgiveness of those she hurt, Catherine learned that life's hardest lessons are often our most transformative ones.

💬 What You'll Hear

The Policing Era Begins: Growing up in a strict Catholic household where church was never missed, even on vacation in the Wyoming wilderness

Charismatic Catholic College: Transferring to a more religious school hoping it would complete her, while secretly meeting a "spicy guy" on the baseball field

Justifying Everything: Using faith to justify living poor, submitting to her husband, homeschooling, and judging everyone else's choices

The Judgment List: Picketing, lecturing friends about premarital sex and cohabitation, and warning people they'd burn in hell

The Contrast: Being front and center with her kids (the beautiful part) while exhausting herself policing everyone else's lives

Humble 101: Life's classroom teaching humility through divorce, bankruptcy, loss, public shame, and parenting alone

The Power of Forgiveness: Every single person she policed - friends and family - still loves her and watched her evolve

Receiving Love: Learning that true love means being forgiven and getting a second chance, which healed her nervous system

Different Lessons Now: Moving from major life lessons to micro-focused heart work, like not caring what her kids do as a reflection of her

The A/B Student: Now handling life's tests (like a surprise $500 IRS bill) with calm instead of panic

✨ Takeaway
Your most embarrassing era might become your greatest teacher. When you think you're the judge of everyone else's choices, life will enroll you in Humble 101 until you learn the lesson. The people you hurt with your judgment can teach you what real love looks like through their forgiveness. Everyone is in the school of life, just in different classrooms with different teachers. The sooner you learn your lessons, the less they appear on the test. Humility is the most beautiful of the virtues.

⚖️ Disclaimer
These stories are mine — told through my eyes, my lens, and my lived experience. Each person moves through life in their own way. I own these stories, and I share them to inspire us all to live truthfully, freely, and as our most authentic selves.

🌿 Connect with Catherine
If this episode made you reflect on a time when you judged others or needed forgiveness yourself, share it with someone who showed you grace when you didn't deserve it.

Follow Catherine on Instagram to keep following the story.

Theme Song Written and Composed by Trevor Lynch and Michaela Dennis and recorded by Trevor Lynch in Chicago IL
Photo: Baumgardner Studio Yakima, WA
Production: Red Trux Productions Snohomish, WA

Catherine opens up about love in its many forms - from the exhausting performance-based love of her past to the transformative power of being loved "just because." She vulnerably shares the profound loss of her partner David during COVID, how grief became a catalyst for change, and her journey to finding love again with someone who teaches her she doesn't need to perform to be worthy.

💬 What You’ll Hear

• Agape Love: Understanding unconditional love and how it was the only love Catherine felt comfortable giving
• Performance-Based Love: Growing up believing she had to earn love through achievements, appearance, and over-giving
• The Comparison Trap: Watching friends in effortless relationships while she obsessed over perceived flaws
• Dating Disasters: From the guy with the clinker in his eyelash to repelling men who actually wanted to love her
• Meeting David: Finding someone who loved her in her "broken divorced self" without requiring performance
• March 23rd, 2020: The devastating day David died suddenly of a heart attack during the first day of COVID lockdown
• Moving Through Grief: Walking to move grief through her body and the mistakes of dating too soon
• Leveraging Loss: How David's death became the catalyst for coming home to herself
• Back to the Apps: Four months later, downloading dating apps and learning about ENM and poly via Google
• Finding Love Again: Meeting her current partner who teaches her "this is not a call to action" - she can simply receive

✨ Takeaway

Love doesn't require performance. You don't have to earn it through achievement, appearance, or over-giving. The exhausting pattern of proving your worth can be broken. Sometimes profound loss becomes the catalyst for discovering you're worthy of love simply for being who you are. Finding home within yourself first allows you to show up authentically in relationships - and that's when real love finds you.

⚖️ Disclaimer

These stories are mine — told through my eyes, my lens, and my lived experience. Each person moves through life in their own way. I own these stories, and I share them to inspire us all to live truthfully, freely, and as our most authentic selves.

🌿 Connect with Catherine

If this episode made you reflect on the ones you love, share it with them to let them know how much they mean to you.

Follow Catherine on Instagram to keep following the story.

Theme Song Written and Composed by Trevor Lynch and Michaela Dennis and recorded by Trevor Lynch in Chicago IL
Photo: Baumgardner Studio Yakima, WA
Production: Red Trux Productions Snohomish, WA

Episode Summary:
In one of her most vulnerable episodes yet, Catherine opens up about questioning and ultimately transforming her deeply held religious beliefs. From her strict Catholic upbringing to searching the Bible for a way out of her marriage, she reveals how Google became her unexpected lifeline — and how she discovered a more personal, loving faith that allowed her to live authentically without fear of eternal punishment.

💬 What You’ll Hear

• Religious Foundations: Growing up with Jewish, Mormon, and Catholic influences in a deeply structured household
• The Sacred Marriage Trap: How the concept of mortal sin kept her feeling bound by duty and shame
• Searching for an Exit: Reading Scripture daily, desperate to find freedom beyond the belief that only death could release her
• Google as Savior: How simple searches became her lifeline toward clarity, autonomy, and truth
• Faith vs. Freedom: The internal tug-of-war between religious obligation and personal liberation
• Catholic Friends’ Advice: The well-meaning counsel that told her there was “merit in suffering” — and how she chose otherwise
• The First Night Alone: The counselor’s words that led to a powerful moment of peace and self-discovery
• Newfound Spirituality: Discovering a faith that’s personal, nonjudgmental, and rooted in love instead of fear

✨ Takeaway

⚖️ Disclaimer

These stories are mine — told through my eyes, my lens, and my lived experience. Each person moves through life in their own way. I own these stories, and I share them to inspire us all to live truthfully, freely, and as our most authentic selves.

🌿 Connect with Catherine

If this episode touched your spirit or helped you see faith through a different lens, share it with someone who’s finding their own way back to themselves.

Follow Catherine on Instagram to keep following the story.

Theme Song Written and Composed by Trevor Lynch and Michaela Dennis and recorded by Trevor Lynch in Chicago IL
Photo: Baumgardner Studio Yakima, WA
Production: Red Trux Productions Snohomish, WA

Episode Summary:
In this raw and relatable episode, Catherine opens up about the early insecurities that shaped her self-image — from mustache teasing in the cafeteria to size 11 orthotics and Weight Watchers at age ten. With humor, vulnerability, and heart, she explores how childhood experiences and cultural conditioning can twist our self-perception — and what it takes to finally wear our confidence right-side-out.

💬 What You’ll Hear
The Mustache Chronicles: Cruel cafeteria comments, endless electrolysis, and finally embracing the razor with pride

Big Feet, Big Problems: Size 10–11 shoes in fifth grade while friends wore ballet flats

Diet Culture at 10: Growing up on Weight Watchers and learning to detach self-worth from the scale

The Weigh-In Moment: A sixth-grade memory that shaped how she saw herself

Missing Out on “Normal”: The ache of not fitting beauty standards or getting the “cute boyfriends”

Reframing the Narrative: Turning “flaws” into features and finding power in difference

Entertaining the What-Ifs: Practical ways to challenge the limiting beliefs we inherited about our bodies

✨ Takeaway
“I spent years trying to fit into a world that told me I was too much, too big, too hairy — until I realized maybe the world just needed to learn to use razors.” :)

⚖️ Disclaimer
These stories are mine — told through my eyes, my lens, and my lived experience. Each person moves through life in their own way. I own these stories, and I share them to inspire us all to live truthfully, freely, and as our most authentic selves.

🌿 Connect with Catherine
If this episode made you laugh, cry, or see yourself a little differently, share it with someone who needs that reminder today.

Follow Catherine on Instagram to keep following the story.

Theme Song Written and Composed by Trevor Lynch and Michaela Dennis and recorded by Trevor Lynch in Chicago IL
Photo: Baumgardner Studio Yakima, WA
Production: Red Trux Productions Snohomish, WA