The guards pull over a Mitsubishi Evo doing 135mph (217km/h) - and the driver’s excuse? They were in a mad rush to collect a Chinese takeaway. Dave and Fionnuala are equal parts stunned and cracking up, because that might be the worst reason for speeding ever.

From there, the chat turns into a full-on excuse clinic: what’s the best go-to line when you’re trying to get out of plans, dodge an invite, or even sneak a day off work?

From “I’ve COVID” to “the child is sick” to a classic “family emergency”… what excuse always works?