Marita in Meath is buzzing for her friends Shane and Sarah to get married tomorrow. Dave and Fionnuala throw her into a quick game of Gimme 5… and ask for five songs by or featuring Akon or Ne-Yo. Let’s just say the wedding performance will go a lot better...

The guards pull over a Mitsubishi Evo doing 135mph (217km/h) - and the driver’s excuse? They were in a mad rush to collect a Chinese takeaway. Dave and Fionnuala are equal parts stunned and cracking up, because that might be the worst reason for speeding ever.

From there, the chat turns into a full-on excuse clinic: what’s the best go-to line when you’re trying to get out of plans, dodge an invite, or even sneak a day off work?

From “I’ve COVID” to “the child is sick” to a classic “family emergency”… what excuse always works?

Robots are officially entering the running chat: 12,000 humans take on 100+ humanoid robots in a Beijing half-marathon, and the winning bot clocks 50 minutes… beating the world record (but not being allowed to claim it). Dave and Fionnuala are both fascinated and mildly terrified.

Because if robots are getting this good, there’s only one move left: get ourselves a Guinness World Record before they’re eligible and we’re finished. What records should the pair take on?

A “year’s supply” of crisps sounds like the dream… until Lay’s in the US reveals what they actually mean: 24 bags. Dave and Fionnuala are horrified, calling it stingy, disgraceful, and basically a forced diet.

So they throw it out to listeners: if you won a year’s supply, what number are you expecting to land at your door? Is it 365 bags minimum, one a day? Or is a weekly “large packet” enough?

Bachelors have been named the official beans partner of the GAA, and Dave and Fionnuala do what any responsible radio show would do: turn it into a competition.

To win a pair of Noah Kahan tickets, listeners have to send in the best sports star, food-based pun going — and it gets fierce quickly. From Roy Bean and Roy Quinoa to Rachel Black-smore, the inbox is absolutely flying.

A Sudanese doctor in Cork hears the patient say “I will, yeah” and thinks he’s fully committed to quitting smoking… until the follow-up reveals the very Irish truth: double positive, definite negative.

Then there’s a Sri Lankan doctor who lands in Mayo and spends two years baffled by all the “Mayo for Sam” signs, convinced Sam is some local legend everyone’s rallying behind.

Dave and Fionnuala get stuck into the bigger question: what Irish habits, phrases and wedding logic completely melt foreigners’ brains? From “small” weddings of 150 people to the chaos of wedding money, they’re building the ultimate newcomer’s guide to Irish misunderstandings.

It’s been a mad week in Ireland, so Dave and Fionnuala decide to create their own ballot: if the whole country had to vote on something, what would it be?

First up: consistent sizing across all women’s clothing brands - because a 12 is not a 12, and everyone’s sick of the guessing game.

Then it’s airport chaos: scrap the liquid rules altogether, and while we’re at it, can every airport please pick the same system?

And finally, the one that’ll split the nation: if a driver stops to let you cross, do you have to do the little gratitude jog… or can you stroll and just throw a wave?

“That’s the Sound” and one story that’s absolutely unhinged: a man in England pulls a fake gun on a chicken shop worker… all because he got burger sauce instead of garlic sauce.

They break down the CCTV/Ring doorbell footage, how it all escalated on Christmas Eve, and why the police didn’t care that the gun was fake.
What would you do for a good garlic sauce?

Dylan in Louth names 4 Irish places beginning with D, Dave decides to be generous and send him out a limited edition iRadio Louth jersey. Will Dylan's score be bet this week?

Leah and Fionnuala are cracking up over the National Wax Museum Plus unveiling a brand-new Taylor waxwork, and the internet is not holding back. Is it Taylor Swift, “Trailer Swift”, or “Temu Taylor”?

Inspired by the chaos, the gang set a very specific challenge: puns for bad celebrity waxworks that look nothing like the real deal.

From Justin Timberfake and Leonardo DiCrap-rio to Louis Crapaldi, Kim Car-crashian and a few very Irish entries, the listeners absolutely show up. Top fives are named, crowns are handed out, and the bar is raised again with Knee-Crap