Bad Princess Movies

It's the spooky season so we're doing our best to find movies with even a hint of the Halloween spirit in them, which brings us to the not-really-spooky-but-it's-better-than-nothing Blood of Beasts. Blood of Beasts is the third film we're taking a look at from Director David Lister, and it turns out third times the charm as this was the film we enjoyed the most from him. Does that mean it's an incredible film? Well no, but there are some cool bits that we'll be discussing in this episode. So come and join us as we discuss among other things odd beast design choices, Gaston-wannabes and their weird braided bangs, and what it takes to become Odin's special little guy. 

This week we're taking a look at SpacePOP, a strange movie from an even stranger product line that we're assuming was created to try and get a piece of the Monster High demographic-pie. Just swap out the monsters for alien Princesses and you've got a hit on your hands, right? Well, not quite, but SpacePOP sure gave it the old college try, with a line of books, clothes, toys, make-up, and of course, a movie. So come and join us as we discuss among other things the "mystery" of how SpacePOP came to be, green skinned alien dudes and their anti-climactic makeovers, and our sympathy for overworked and under appreciated animators everywhere. 

What do you get when you mix half of Klasky Csupo, a children's fantasy novel from the 1940s, and a dash of Tim Curry all together? You get the subject of this week's episode: The Secret of Moonacre. This film is one of those movies that kinda tows the line between "Good" and "Just kind of average", but it does have a special something to it that I think certain audiences would latch onto. Just maybe don't use Sir Benjamin as an example of what a healthy relationship looks like. Join us as we discuss among other things prideful prophecies, terrible uncles and the women who (Somehow) love them, and a completely unrelated tangent about a Christian puppet series that Kristi got weirdly fixated on.

This week we're taking yet another look at a Frog Prince adaptation, this time from the infamous Cannon Films. Primarily known for their low-budget action films, in the 1980s Cannon decided to branch out into the fairytale market with their "Cannon Movie Tales" series, of which The Frog Prince was their first entrant. Come and join us as we discuss among other things horrible older sisters and their mirror smashing ways, making your uncle king cry tears of joy, and whether or not Little Orphan Annie has anything to do with this film not getting a region 1 DVD release. 

It's July, and that means we're celebrating my birthday by taking a look at yet another good Princess movie: Disney's 1989 classic The Little Mermaid! What else can be said about this film that hasn't been already?... Well I'm not sure exactly, but that's not gonna stop us from revelling in our childhood nostalgia and talking about it anyways! So come and join us as we discuss among other things troublesome teenagers, villains who unashamedly love being evil, and the overall warm fuzzies that this film gives us. 

We felt like we could use a palette cleanser after nearly losing our minds in the last episode so we decided to take a quick sojourn into the much calmer Barbie film series with this week's movie: Barbie and the Diamond Castle. This one sits at the crossroads between the very much beloved early Barbie films of the early 2000s and the seldom discussed Barbie movies of the 2010s, so we're taking a look to see which side of the fence this film falls on for us. So join us as we discuss among other things stalkerish suitors, sparkly dogs that have no business dancing like that, and the distressing lack of a full villain song for our beloved Kathleen Barr.

Hot off the DVD presses, we're taking a look at the brand spanking new addition to the Swan Princess series: Swan Princess 11, A Fairy Tale is Born. This film takes us back 30 years in time to answer the burning question, "How did Uberta become Queen?". Well, surely it was someone's burning question anyways? Come and join us as we discuss among other things the blistering pace of this film, Uberta prioritizing dog shows over the well-being of her citizens, ghost mom's and the daughters who love them, and what's to come for the Swan Princess series. 

This week we're taking a look at a seldom-discussed retelling of the Thumbelina story... seldom discussed because this film unfortunately just doesn't have a ton going on to put it on people's radars, outside of the star studded voice acting cast. Like so many of the films we profile The Adventures of Tom Thumb and Thumbelina has a lot of potential but unfortunately the final film falls a bit flat. Come and join us as we discuss among other things mole kings and their lacklustre villain songs, the time old tradition of slapping boobs onto non-boobed creatures, and whether or not Elijah Wood even remembers voicing this film.