BAD WORDS

Dear Tamice, Malynda, Kristian and Ciara —

This is the 1st draft of this letter. That is mostly a note to self, because I keep thinking of the stutter in terms of one I started to write on April 7th of this year. Similar in tone but to someone completely different. Someone we all know, and anyway, I never finished that letter. I thought this would be a continuation, a spinoff of that, but reading that other draft of that other letter? Ugh. Not only was it for someone I don't speak to anymore, it was from someone I don't speak as anymore. Honestly, I couldn't even finish it. It was embarrassing how gentle it was. 

Before reading it, I had a thought that maybe I would go back to one of the last official religious resignation letters I wrote. Maybe the one from nine years ago to the lead pastor of the mega church I was part of, or maybe the open letter from six years ago that kinda catapulted me into this space when I wrote about the evangelical behavior of that pastor when it lost him his job. To see, and, I guess, prove not only how much I've grown, but that I grew up here, in front of y'all, to prove my right to be here, and to say what I'm about to say. To show you all my papers, 'cause that's what we've been conditioned to do as black folks. 

But, turned out there was no need for me to go that far back to be cringeworthy. 

Daniel and I, as Cat Tetris, are posting something to social media every day in August. He's got the odd days. I got the evens. And today is an even day, so... 

We are posting to make ourselves practice a few different visibility skills, including no disclaimers. So we've got a 10 word caption limit. Because there is never a day when I legitimately have nothing to post, but there are infinite times I don't, because I feel like I need to explain what I'm sharing, and I can't, because what's understood doesn't need to be explained. So the fact that I'm constantly expecting to be misunderstood here, that's actually red flag shit, 'cause it didn't used to be this way. I didn't used to feel that way in or about this space. 

The whole way I fell in was just speaking my mind and connecting with people who were in the same spiritual and or emotional and or mental place at the same time. And for a while, it was fine. But at some point, we lost the plot, because we stopped following it. We stepped into the space and started just standing around, commiserating instead of conspiring, plodding in circles, instead of plotting and planning. Settling instead of setting off. 

One of my best friends just FaceTimed me. I told her I was writing this letter, and that it's a step in my plan to give us free. I know she believed me about this letter. I hope she believed me about the freedom, and I hope I come through. 

So I didn't end up looking back at either of those other letters. They don't matter. They were to and for an audience that has aged badly and is looking more and more like its parents. 

I'm handwriting this letter. When I finish this draft, I will go back and rewrite all of this, to satisfy the people pleasing part of my brain that likes being known for my handwriting. I'm not going to type it, because typing allows for a certain level of convenience that lends itself to wasting words. But when handwriting, ain't nobody got time for all that. So it helps me stay focused. 

I'm leaving the deconstruction space for real and for good this time. I've been trying to leave for the past few years, which is extremely reminiscent of how I left, and how I felt, leaving evangelicalism. There were attempts, and then there, eventually, was a definitive break. This is my definitive break from exvangelicalism, which is literally just new evangelicalism. And y'all are the new tokens. 

To be completely honest, I don’t know exactly what this is. I mean, it’s a podcast episode, but the precise genre? Unclear. So when it comes to describing it, the only thing I can say for sure is that I like it.

It basically began as a sermon (did I mention that I’m starting a church?** 👀), that became the beginning of an ongoing conversation I hope to keep having with whosoever will.

** That bit about “did I mention that I’m starting a church” is obviously a joke — I’m well aware that I haven’t mentioned it. And it’s absolutely true.

Drapetomanic Ministry is a real thing I am really starting and that I really hope you’ll support in whatever way makes the most sense to you.

So check out this episode of drapetomanic behavior and then, as the spirit leads…

Thinking out loud.

This is what I do now. (For now)

[email protected]

A quick heads-up before you hit play: for this episode BAD WORDS is being hijacked by "better gods".

Welcome to a special broadcast introducing better gods—an offensive Christian podcast hosted by Janice Lagata where she doesn’t talk to people she doesn’t like. Consider this episode a masterclass in friendly fire, a clearing of the decks, and the official introduction to the next phase of Janice's public ministry.

If you’ve been following Janice's journey through the deconstruction space, you know she left her social media platform last year. In this premiere episode of her new venture, she explains exactly why she left, what she learned from the outside looking in, and why she is completely done investing hope in white male proxies or centering aggrieved white women who can't hold nuance or see Black women as actual people with agency.

From the dehumanizing "White Shirt" tier systems of her past Christian employers to the shallow, capitalistic numbers game of the modern exvangelical movement, Janice holds nothing back.

What You'll Hear in This Episode:

The Origin Story: Why this episode drops on May 18th—the birthday of Janice's late cat, David.

The Bubble Problem: Disillusionment in the exvangelical space and the rise of the mediocre white "midman".

Imagined Communities: The deep sociological difference between a country and a nation.

The Announcement: A breakdown of the new bi-weekly better gods schedule, the Study To Be Quiet Hour, and the upcoming BYO Elder Book Club.

Where to Find the New Space:The old email address isn't going anywhere. If you want to submit to be on the new show for Tell Me About Your God, apply for Debate Practice, or get information on the Study To Be Quiet creative hours, reach out directly.

📬 Get in Touch: [email protected] 🎧 Subscribe to the new feed: Search for better gods on your favorite podcast platform to catch every new episode dropping bi-weekly starting the week of Juneteenth.

In this episode of Bad Words, guest host Lauren joins Janice and Melanie to take apart chapters 31-32. They discuss Angel's struggles, Michael's motives, and the problematic depictions of sex work, gender roles, and racial themes. The conversation expands into the broader implications of purity culture and evangelical teachings. They also reflect on the harmful effects of guilt and shame instilled by such narratives and provide a critical and insightful examination of the book, questioning its lasting impact and Francine Rivers' stance on her work.

00:00 Introduction and Recap

00:18 Angel's Christmas Crisis

00:47 Angel's Escape and New Beginnings

01:07 Back to Rock Bottom

01:29 Meet the Hosts

04:15 Religious Trauma and Therapy

06:09 Purity Culture and Personal Stories

09:45 Book Analysis: Redeeming Love

11:33 Paul and Miriam's Story

11:53 Angel's Struggles and Rescues

16:20 Angel's New Mission

18:07 Critique and Discussion

58:42 The Portrayal of Angel: Victim or Sinner?

59:30 The Role of God in Angel's Journey

01:00:05 The Hypocrisy of Redemption

01:01:04 Angel's Struggle with Identity and Redemption

01:01:38 The Absurdity of Character Names

01:02:40 The Symbolism of Milk and Food

01:04:50 Paul's Misogyny and Double Standards

01:09:24 The Dark Reality of Duke's Character

01:20:17 The Racism and Sexism in Evangelical Teachings

01:33:40 The Impact of Purity Culture on Women

01:46:13 Final Thoughts and Reflections

In this episode of Bad Words, hosts Janice, Melanie, and Stephanie delve into the problematic aspects of chapters 28-30 of Redeeming Love.

The conversation highlights key plot points, including Angel's traumatic past and her current struggles with identity and self-worth. The hosts critique the portrayal of Michael as a supposedly virtuous man despite his manipulative and controlling behavior, and they address the book's disturbing themes of child abuse, victim-blaming, and evangelical beliefs.

The episode also explores the problematic representation of sex work and trafficking, and how the novel perpetuates harmful stereotypes and unhealthy dynamics. The hosts question Francine Rivers' choices in depicting trauma and scrutinize the underlying messages about women's roles and value in evangelical ideology.

In this episode Janice Lagata & Melanie, tackle chapters 25 through 27 of Redeeming Love and reflect on the broader cultural implications of the story with guest host Marlaina . The trio discusses the book's portrayal of gender roles, purity culture, and the dehumanizing nature of evangelical influences. They explore the convoluted relationships, historical inaccuracies, and the challenges of dealing with a narrative that intertwines romance with indoctrination.

In this episode of Bad Words, hosts Janice (janicelagata.com) and Melanie (@climbholamel), along with guest Cheyenne, dive deep into Francine Rivers' 'Redeeming Love'. They unpack the toxic relationships, patriarchal themes, and misinterpretations of biblical stories that permeate the novel. Through thoughtful critique and personal insights, they discuss how the novel mishandles issues of trauma, redemption, and agency, paying special attention to the misrepresentation of biblical characters like Gomer and Mary Magdalene. This episode provides a critical lens on Christian romance novels and their impact on readers.

00:00 Introduction: Contrasting Lives

00:19 Angel's New Life on the Farm

00:48 Angel's Confession and Michael's Response

01:13 Angel's Escape and Return

01:30 Welcome to Bad Words

02:08 Meet the Hosts and Guest

02:58 Packing and Moving Stories

07:18 Diving into Redeeming Love

09:09 Chapters 22-24: Angel's Second Departure

10:44 Analyzing Michael's Behavior

16:26 Theological Reflections on Hosea

50:49 Angel's Forced Marriage and Lost Choices

52:08 The House of Magdalene Controversy

54:21 Michael's Questionable Actions and Angel's Insecurities

57:09 Miriam's Secret and Angel's Struggles

01:02:30 Angel's Redemption and Francine's Narrative

01:18:36 Christian Romance and Its Audience

01:31:55 Final Thoughts and Reflections

Join Janice (@godhasnotiven), Melanie (@climbholamel) and Leslie (@leslie_delman) as they dive into chapters 19 -21 of ‘Redeeming Love’. This episode captures the ongoing drama of Michael and Angel's tumultuous relationship, the arrival of the sickeningly wholesome Altman family, and the deep-rooted issues stemming from Angel's dark past. The hosts hilariously scrutinize the depiction of Angel, Michael's misguided saintliness, and Francine's problematic portrayal of female sexuality. They also discuss personal stories about evolving perspectives on relationships, body autonomy, and raising kids in today's world. Tune in for a blend of humor, critique, and genuine moments of reflection.

00:00 Introduction: Contrasting Lives

00:12 Recap of Previous Events

00:17 Michael and Angel's Journey

00:42 Angel's Revelation and Miriam's Reaction

00:51 Angel's Internal Struggles

01:30 Welcome to Bad Words

01:36 Hosts' Banter and Bird Talk

03:18 Discussion on Flamingos

04:35 Reflecting on 'Redeeming Love'

05:22 Leslie's Introduction and Bird Metaphor

06:34 Leslie's Experience with 'Redeeming Love'

15:55 Angel's Emotional Journey

16:57 Summary of Chapters 19-21

26:48 Critique of 'Redeeming Love'

33:58 God's Intervention and Story Pacing

34:26 Character Dynamics and Plot Twists

34:55 Family Drama and Tragic Backstories

36:08 Exploring Themes of Guilt and Redemption

40:06 Disturbing Revelations and Author Critique

49:42 Purity Culture and Its Impact on Women

01:02:56 Parenting and Teaching Body Autonomy

01:14:52 Balancing Safety and Freedom in Parenting

01:15:51 Healing Trauma and Raising Kids

01:16:46 Personal Growth and Marriage

01:18:15 Influence of Parents and Boundaries

01:19:04 Acceptance and Family Dynamics

01:21:13 Evangelicalism and Personal Beliefs

01:34:45 Book Recommendations and Final Thoughts

Join hosts Janice (@godhasnotgiven) and Melanie (@climbholamel), with guest Karla (@holasoykarla), as they dive deep into chapters 16 to 18 of 'Redeeming Love' by Francine Rivers. They unmask the underlying themes about misogyny, autonomy, and the persistent stigmatization of women, while also discussing how the characters endure chaotic and undeserved challenges. The episode also covers the cultural and personal implications that stem from reading such works, tackling topics like purity culture, power dynamics, and the struggle for self-redemption amidst judgmental environments. The conversation is unfiltered, emotional, and sprinkled with humor. Tune in for an in-depth critique and a fresh perspective on this controversial classic.

00:00 Introduction: Contrasting Lives

00:18 Angel's Desperate Escape

01:01 Michael's Chaotic Rescue

01:30 Meet the Hosts: Bad Birds of Paradise

04:13 Karla's Journey with Redeeming Love

13:50 Michael and Angel's New Companions

14:53 Discussing the Book's Themes and Characters

38:23 The Burden of Purity Culture

41:53 Society's Double Standards

45:38 Power Dynamics and Evangelicalism

48:12 The Struggle for Female Autonomy

57:56 The Insidious Nature of Patriarchy

01:11:15 Questioning Evangelical Beliefs

01:18:28 Final Thoughts and Reflections