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There are 4 key components to creating balance in relationships, that equilibrium between autonomy and closeness that feels good to both partners, according to psychotherapist David Schnarch:

1. A flexible, solid self
2. A quiet mind & calm heart (emotional regulation)
3. Grounded response (avoid reactivity, seek first to understand the other)
4. Meaningful endurance (tolerating discomfort for growth)

Shane explains Dr. Schnarch’s research in this 30-minute podcast, and here is the article that inspired today’s episode.