Help for Loving Relationships

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In this episode, I share the vision behind a new 3-Day Trauma Healing Intensive designed to help people move beyond simply understanding their past and begin experiencing genuine healing. Drawing from the work of Troy Love's Finding Peace, Pia Mellody's Post-Induction Therapy (PIT), and Gabor Maté's Compassionate Inquiry, I describe how these three complementary approaches work together to help participants identify childhood wounds, understand the beliefs that grew from those experiences, reconnect with their wounded inner child, and develop lasting pathways toward peace and resilience. Rather than asking, "What's wrong with me?" this intensive invites participants to ask the more compassionate question, "What happened to me?" and discover how healing begins through curiosity, self-compassion, and safe relationships.

Throughout the episode, I walk through the journey of the intensive—from establishing safety and learning to listen to the wisdom of the body, to grieving childhood losses, challenging long-held beliefs, and developing practical tools for ongoing recovery. I also discuss why healing doesn't end after a powerful emotional experience but continues through intentional practices such as healthy relationships, body awareness, self-compassion, and continued therapeutic work. Whether you're recovering from childhood trauma, navigating relationship struggles, or simply seeking greater emotional freedom, this conversation offers hope that your story does not have to be defined by your wounds. Healing is possible, and it begins one compassionate step at a time.

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When infidelity and betrayal are discussed, the experiences of men are often overlooked. In this episode, Adam Nisenson sheds light on the unique challenges faced by men who have been betrayed by a partner, exploring the stigma, shame, and societal expectations that often keep them silent and unsupported. Adam introduces the concept of Masculine Betrayal Trauma (MBT) and walks listeners through the 7 Stages of recovery, helping men better understand their emotional journey and the obstacles that can arise along the way. Through practical insights and a real-world case example, we explore how men process betrayal differently and why healing requires courage, vulnerability, and connection.

Adam also discusses the hidden costs of carrying pain for years through unhealthy defense mechanisms. He explains the critical distinction between building "walls" that isolate us and developing "shields" that protect us while still allowing meaningful relationships. Listeners will gain valuable tools for establishing healthy boundaries, finding supportive community, and moving beyond survival mode. Most importantly, this conversation offers hope, illustrating how betrayal can become a catalyst for personal growth, renewed identity, and a powerful new beginning. Whether you have experienced betrayal yourself or support someone who has, this episode provides a roadmap toward healing, resilience, and transformation.

To learn more about  Adam's work:

[email protected]

https://www.betrayalshrink.com/

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In this powerful conversation, recovery coach Tryan Stutes unpacks what he calls the “gap” in betrayal recovery—the often overlooked space between a man’s personal recovery and his partner’s healing process. While many men have access to structured resources like SAA, sponsors, and intensives, their partners are often left navigating deep emotional pain with fewer supports. Tryan shares how his work focuses on helping men develop true empathy, step out of defensiveness, and begin to feel the impact of their actions in a way that creates real connection. With both directness and care, he challenges men to move beyond surface-level recovery and into meaningful relational repair.

Tryan leads several men's groups through his coaching at https://truewarriorinside.com/

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In this special April Fools episode, the script gets flipped as Lisa Eliason takes over the mic and puts Shane in the hot seat. What starts as a lighthearted role reversal quickly turns into a meaningful and honest conversation about the heart of Shane’s work—helping couples navigate betrayal, rebuild trust, and create deeper emotional connection. From the realities of working with sexual addiction and relationship trauma to what really happens in those first raw sessions after trust is broken, this episode pulls back the curtain on the work many couples never see.

Lisa guides the conversation into real talk about relationships, emotional safety, and the patterns that keep couples stuck, while also exploring the role of faith, healing, and Shane’s approach through Emotionally Focused Therapy. Whether you're a couple, an individual navigating trust and intimacy, or a therapist looking to grow, this episode offers practical insights, hope for repair, and a few unexpected laughs along the way.

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In this episode, Shane shares how emotional intimacy grows through the attachment lens of accessibility, reliability, and emotional engagement, inspired by Sue Johnson’s ARE model. He explores the powerful idea that intimacy means “In-To-Me-I-See,” inviting couples, friends, and family members to move beyond surface conversations and courageously share their inner emotional world. Listeners will learn practical ways to deepen connection through slowing down conversations, speaking from personal experience, regulating emotions before engaging, and practicing small moments of turning toward one another. Shane also offers thoughtful guidance on when vulnerability builds closeness — and when emotional safety may be lacking — helping listeners pursue deeper relationships with wisdom, courage, and compassion.

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In this episode, I sit down with sex therapist Dr. Lisa Elieson to explore how sexuality is far more than a physical act — it’s an expression of self and a creative language of love within marriage. Dr. Elieson shares how she integrates art into therapy to help couples better understand their sexual identity, emotional connection, and the deeper meaning behind intimacy. Together, we discuss how anxiety impacts sexual arousal, the different ways it tends to manifest for men and women, and how mindfulness practices can help calm the nervous system and create space for more authentic connection.

We also dive into one of the most common struggles couples face: sexual desire discrepancy — when one partner has higher desire and the other lower desire. I bring real-life challenges from my counseling practice into the conversation, inviting Dr. Elieson’s perspective on how couples can navigate these moments with empathy and curiosity rather than shame or pressure. The episode closes with a look at Dr. Elieson’s current projects and practical ways listeners can learn more about her work and connect with her.

Lisa is excited about two newly released books: 

3 Core Communication skills, as well as, the 12 Types of Intimacy.   

You can reach Dr. Eliason at 

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In this episode, we review Cultivating Love: Wisdom for Life by Ken McGill, a practical and compassionate guide to growing wisdom and love throughout life. Drawing from psychology, theology, and neurobiology, McGill explores how wisdom can become compromised by trauma and maladaptive coping, and how it can be recalibrated through self-awareness, reparenting, and intentional growth. The book offers concrete tools for healing, strengthening self-love, and developing healthy adult behaviors such as empathy, boundaries, emotional regulation, and attunement. Ultimately, Cultivating Love invites readers to grow wiser, love more deeply, and live more skillfully in their relationships and daily lives.

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Welcome to 2026! We’re exploring this year’s theme—Love—what helps it grow and what causes it to fade. Drawing from relationship research, psychology, and spiritual wisdom, we highlight key qualities that strengthen love toward self and others—such as emotional availability, compassion, healthy boundaries, gratitude, accountability, and repair. We also discuss common habits that diminish love, including criticism, avoidance, shame, defensiveness, and neglect of personal needs. For those with a spiritual life, we reflect on how loving God through devotion, service, and integrity deepens self-worth, emotional regulation, and more loving relationships with others.

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In this solo episode, Shane recaps the standout moments from the year on the Help for Loving Relationships Show. From exploring the foundations of a happy life to learning about empathy, anxiety, and trauma recovery, he highlights insights from guests like Stevie Hall, Jeremy Edge, and the inspiring story of Heidi and Alex’s journey from pain to renewed connection. Shane also shares updates on trauma-healing resources, including the Green Shoe intensive and his new certification in the Finding Peace Method.

Looking ahead, Shane announces the upcoming Hold Me Tight Couples Workshop in February and reflects on the inspiration he gained from Lisa Marie Shaunessy’s Camino pilgrimage. He closes with a reminder of the key factors that support happiness and a preview of next year’s theme: deepening love and understanding what strengthens—or blocks—it.

I am especially excited to introduce a special friend, Dr Ken McGill who is releasing a new book, "Cultivating Love: Wisdom for Life."

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In this episode, Matt and Joanna Raabsmith share how their Intimacy Pyramid helps couples heal from sexual betrayal by starting with honesty and emotional safety before moving toward deeper vulnerability and intimacy. They discuss the importance of slowing down, doing individual work to stay regulated, and learning how betrayers can respond to their partner’s trauma with humility instead of defensiveness. Matt and Joanna also offer guidance for being proactive in recovery, rebuilding the betrayed partner’s self-trust, and navigating grief, anger, and the uneven pace that often shows up between partners. They explain the difference between trying to control trust versus becoming truly trustworthy, and they close with thoughtful guidelines for knowing when a couple is ready to rebuild healthy sexual intimacy—reminding us that emotional connection is the foundation for physical connection.

https://raabsmithteam.com/