There's a version of kindness that isn't actually kindness. It's saying yes when you mean no, showing up depleted and resentful, and building relationships on a quiet lie — the lie that you're fine, that it's all okay, that you have no limits. And the thing about that version of kindness is it always ends the same way: in a blowup, a ghost, or an overcorrection so sharp it takes the whole relationship with it.

Episode 8 of the DBT mini-season covers Give and Fast — the two interpersonal skills for when getting a yes isn't the point. Give is for when the relationship matters most: how to stay connected, be honest, and get through a hard conversation without torching what you've built. Fast is for when self-respect matters most: how to say no, hold your values, and not apologise for existing.

The real skill, as James puts it, is knowing which one you need — and then actually following through.

You'll come away with:

• A clear breakdown of Give (Gentle, Interested, Validate, Easy Manner) with real examples of what it looks and sounds like
• A full walkthrough of Fast (Fair, no Apologies, Stick to values, Truthful) — including why "I don't want to" is a complete sentence
• Two layered conversation scenarios showing how Give and Fast work alongside Dear Man in practice
• A reflection prompt to identify where in your life you're sacrificing self-respect just to keep the peace

• Email: [email protected]

• Instagram: @friendlesspod

• TikTok: @friendlesspod

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