Hi my friend

Yesterday I spent an entire day wandering through the Tate Modern in London. I went to see the Frida Kahlo exhibition, then Tracey Emin, then Ana Mendieta.

I left overwhelmed because of a question that kept following me from one room to the next.

What makes some artworks feel so intensely alive?

In this episode, I walk through London while trying to answer that question.

I wonder whether being an artist is simply about making art, or whether it’s about something much more uncomfortable: allowing yourself to fully experience life, even when it hurts.

What if the real difference isn’t talent…

…but the courage to let your heart break?

It’s probably the most vulnerable episode of Balboa Park I’ve recorded so far. At one point I even forget the second thing I wanted to tell you because I become too aware of how exposed I feel.

Maybe you’ll recognize yourself in that feeling.

If you’ve ever kept yourself safe, protected your emotions, questioned whether you were a “real artist,” or simply wondered why some works move you to tears while others don’t, I think this conversation is for you.

🎧 Listen to Episode 38 and, if it resonates, I’d genuinely love to hear from you. Just reply to this email. Knowing someone is listening means much more to me than likes or statistics.

The self-portraits are below 👇

Yesterday’s museum visit inspired me to draw several self-portraits. I’m sharing them with you below this email.

Rather than choosing one, I decided to keep them together. They feel like different fragments of the same day.

☀️ Summer Drawing Room

If you’re looking for a quiet space to draw with other humans this summer, remember that the Summer Drawing Room is open on Zoom.

a shared room where we make things together.

🗓️ August 16🗓️ August 23🗓️ August 30

🕡 6:30–7:30 PM (Paris time)

👉 Zoom:https://us02web.zoom.us/j/87521981091

Meeting ID: 875 2198 1091

❤️ Patreon is becoming my real home

You might be receiving this through Substack because, a few years ago, I stopped using Mailchimp. I simply didn’t want to keep paying for another newsletter service, so Substack became the easiest solution.

But the more time passes, the more I realize that this horrible platform isn’t really where I want to build my community.

Patreon has slowly become the place where everything comes together: this podcast, the Graphic Journal Club, live Zoom sessions, behind-the-scenes sketches, challenges, conversations, and all the things that don’t really fit into social media.

If you’d like to support my work (or simply keep following it in one place), I’d love to welcome you there.

Whether you’re a free member or a supporter, Patreon is where I’m putting my energy from now on.

👉 Join me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/graphicjournalclub

Thank you for walking through museums, cities, doubts, and ideas with me.

and before we say goodbye this is the quote from Andrea Gibson I was talking about in the audio:

I don't want to get out without a broken heart. I intend to leave this life so shattered there's gonna have to be a thousand separate heavens for all of my flying parts

See you on Patreon,

Nicoz

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nicozbalboa.substack.com

🎙️ Balboa Park – Episode 37

Back to the podcast, creative focus, Patreon, merch & where I’m at

After a long pause, I’m back on Balboa Park.

In this episode, I record in the simplest way: audio only, from my bed, with coffee on the side. No pressure, no setup. Just talking.

I share what’s been happening over the past months and why the podcast slowed down.

https://nicozbalboa.shop/

https://www.patreon.com/graphicjournalclub

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nicozbalboa.substack.com

Hey friends

(I’m writing you on the verge of the weekend because I yesterday I turned this video and I still feel very CRINGE about 1) speaking without editing 2) sharing my creative practice 3) I have this self-doubt voice in my head screaming “who do you think you are?“ ...so well, if I don’t start posting about this ideas I will change my mind.

before we start one important thing: I know your time is precious and emails can be overwhelming and I’ve send my “leaving instagram” mail few days ago and this pace will never happen again so please continue reading :) you can also chose to take the time to read with no rush )

Before jumping into my next graphic novel, I wanted to take you behind the scenes to show how a story actually grows from my Graphic Journal pages.

Soooooo I recorded a new one-hour video where I revisit my previous book Transformer, and explain how I used my journals full of sketches, notes, and emotions to turn lived experiences into a finished story.

In the video, I show my old sketchbooks and storyboards, the binder where I kept all the pages, and I talk about the connection between drawing and memory.

There’s a metaphor I use often when I teach the Graphic Journal: the “Dumbledore Analogy.”In Harry Potter, Dumbledore pulls a memory out of his head with his wand and places it in a small glass vial (Then he can relieved pouring the liquid thoughts in the Pensieve).That’s what journaling does for me.I take a thought or an emotion out of my mind and place it on paper.It’s not gone! it just lives outside me, so I can look at it with distance and, maybe, tenderness.Later, when I create a story, I dive back into those pages, like Dumbledore diving into the Pensieve, to explore them from another angle.

That’s exactly what this new series “From Graphic Journal to Graphic Novel” is about.It’s a private, ongoing project on Patreon (!!), where I’ll document how my next book is born: through drawings, notes, voice memos, and monthly reflections.It’s not a polished tutorial it’s the real, sometimes messy process of creating art from life.

🎥 You can watch the full introduction video here, for once then it will be for ever on Patreon:👉 www.patreon.com/graphicjournalclub/membership

By joining the €5 tier, you’ll get access to: 🎧 All From Graphic Journal to Graphic Novel videos/audio/photo and various content ✨ After 3 motnhs also a real present by mail🎨 Replay access to Graphic Journal Club workshops

Your support (even €5 the price of a cappuccino) helps me cover small but essential things: brushes, colors, paper...

this is for you if:

* If you’ve ever wondered how a Graphic Journal becomes a Graphic Novel

* If you want inspiration to use your own journal as a creative tool

* If you enjoy reading my books in Italiano or Français and you want to help me to continue create

* If you want me to finish this next book so that I can also try to translate all my book in english (maybe with a big follow on patreon a future anglo-publisher will get interested?)

* If you simply want to see the pages before anyone else (like A LOT BEFORE)

💘 Join me on Patreon → www.patreon.com/c/graphicjournalclub/membership and chose “From Graphic Journal To Graphic Novel” and up (every tier will also receive a real present (in the mail) after 3 months.Let’s explore together how to turn our drawings into stories, and our emotions into art.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nicozbalboa.substack.com

Shownotes — Balboa Park Episode 36: “The Sound of Silence (and Knitting)”

Description:In this episode, Nicoz shares what happened when they recorded a whole 30-minute podcast… with the microphone off 😅. But the silence became an opportunity to reflect on burnout, creative pressure, and the need to reconnect with the joy of making — just for the sake of it.

From the Graphic Journal Challenge to chaotic knitting, from teaching in Edinburgh to finishing Transformer’s French edition, Nicoz opens up about the dance between creation, monetization, and the simple pleasure of crafting without purpose.

Highlights:

🎙️ The “mute” episode: lessons from a recording fail

✍️ How the Graphic Journal Challenge led to creative burnout

🧶 Discovering knitting as a non-monetized creative space

📕 The joy (and fluorescent colors!) of Transformer finally out in France

🌊 Balancing art, work, and life’s chaos — and why connection matters more than productivity

Links & Mentions:

Patreon: Graphic Journal Club

Instagram: @nicoz_balboa

New Instagram side account: [@chaotic_kn1tting] (for fellow queer knitters 🧶)

Graphic novel Transformer (out in French & Italian)

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nicozbalboa.substack.com

Hey My Friend,

I just dropped a new episode of Balboa Park, and this one is extra special.

Recently, I was organizing boxes my father sent me after selling his house. Inside, I found journals from when I was 8, 12, and beyond. As I flipped through them with my friend, she pointed out something that shook me: I’ve been graphic journaling my whole life. It made me wonder—how do we archive ourselves? How does documenting our emotions and experiences shape how we see ourselves over time?

In this episode, I explore personal archives, queerness, and memory—plus, I’d love to hear how you archive yourself.

🎧 Watch it here or on Youtube or Listen here or on every platform

📸 and since you’re a newsletter subscriber, here for you the images:

Let’s talk about it. How do you archive yourself?

Join the conversation in the Graphic Journal Club on Patreon

Let me know what you think! And if you enjoy it, share it with a friend 💛

Nicoz

P.S. My new Sleeping in a Binder and I Dreamed Myself Real t-shirts are live! Printed on amazing Comfort Colors tees, (Sleeping In a Binder is with simple front prints and no logo to keep them affordable while I Dreamed Myself Real is a litte bit more fancy with logo and “we are one” trans support logo) . Perfect as a coming-out tee, a gift, or just a way to support my work. 💖 Every little bit helps, and if a few people grab one—well, you know the magic of small things multiplying. ✨

Grab yours here: nicozbalboastudio.com/store

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nicozbalboa.substack.com

Hey everyone,

I just released a new episode of Balboa Park, where, to ease anxiety, I dive into a Graphic Journal Practice while I have some reflections on creativity, self-knowledge, and the strange ways our brains work when we make art. This time, I talk about the tension between instinct and control, and how we sometimes we don’t have to trust what we think..

Creativity is like making a quilt—each piece feels disconnected at first, but when you step back, a pattern emerges. Michel Gondry once said he loves working with constraints because they force unexpected solutions. That really resonates with me: sometimes the most interesting parts of a project come from what initially felt like limitations or even mistakes.

This is a video episode, where I draw grids and small images as I talk. I start the podcast by drawing because it helps ease my anxiety—graphic journaling has made everything feel more fluid, natural, and satisfying. There’s something deeply calming about seeing the images come together, little by little, like a quilt forming over time.

I also touch on a moment from my own creative process where I fought against the messiness of a piece, only to realize later that the 'mistake' was actually the best part. This episode is a bit of a love letter to embracing the unknown in art and in life. If you're someone who struggles with overthinking your creative work or feeling like you have to have it all figured out before you start, this one's for you.

You can watch it here or everywhere podcast are, even youtube!

Also—I'd love to hear your thoughts! Have you ever had a moment where letting go actually led to something better? Hit reply and let me know.

Thank you for opening this email or listening to the podcast, your presence is everything for me! If you want to support this podcast you can subscribe and share too!

Take care and keep creating, Nicoz

P.S. 🌈 NEW MERCH DROP! 🌈

“I dreamed myself real, and I’m proud of every version of me.” ✨

This new design comes straight from “Sleeping in a Binder”—my daily transition comics about gender, dysphoria, and becoming. If these comics have resonated with you, this merch is for you.

🖤 Comfort Colors Tees – I love this brand! their cotton is soft yet thick and with a vintage feel

🖤 Short and Long-Sleeve Tees – so you can chose according the temperature (I tried to keep the price difference at minimum)

🖤 Denim Tote Bags – Carry your truth everywhere IN DEMNIM, duh!

💥 Limited time, I don’t know if I’ll keep all models and colors – grab yours here now: www.nicozbalboastudio.com/store

and since you read up here, here for you a code when you buy at least one tshirt (or you spend more than 50€): paste the code COZY10 at the checkout. code is available up to next week aka February 19 🚀

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nicozbalboa.substack.com

Hey there, my friend,

January is usually tough. But this year, I decided to do things differently. Instead of pushing through exhaustion, I gave myself permission to slow down. No more forcing myself to keep Strangeland open every day. No more feeling guilty for taking a break.

In the latest episode of Balboa Park, I reflect on:✨ Why I stopped accepting random walk-in tattoos✨ The five-year journey of Strangeland (from pre-post-pandemic chaos to now)✨ A special client who traveled from Las Vegas just for a tattoo (!?) and another who’s only has 1 tattoo and this tattoo it’s his whole back!

If you’ve ever struggled with balancing creativity, business, and mental health, I think you’ll relate to this one.

🎧 Listen now → on Substack, on apple podcast, on spotify, on audible or amazon music, on… pretty everywhere (search for podcast nicoz balboa park)📺 Watch the episode on YouTube

Let me know what you think! Do you also struggle with slowing down? 👉 Leave a comment on YouTube or reply on Substack—I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Big hugs,Nicoz

show Notes for BALBOA PARK #33 - 5 Years of Strangeland: What I’ve Learned About Hustle, Rest, Creativity & Running a Tattoo Shop on My Own Terms

* Why January always felt overwhelming—but this year was different

* Strangeland turns 5! A look back at its wild journey

* Letting go of the need to "always be open"

* The kind of tattoo clients that bring true joy

* That time someone traveled from Las Vegas just to get inked (!?)

💬 Join the conversation!

* What do you do when you feel burnt out?

* Have you ever changed the way you work to better fit your life?

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nicozbalboa.substack.com

In this episode of Balboa Park, that I recorded on my phone IN THE PARK, I reflect on what it’s been like to support Mina’s creative journey as a musician. From her first steps into music, nervously playing the theme from The Last of Us, to performing live at STRANGELAND, to designing her own shows—this journey has been nothing short of inspiring to witness.

Mina’s story reminds me that creativity and passion thrive when you’re given the space to explore without pressure. She’s teaching me as much as I’m supporting her—about patience, resilience, and the pure joy of learning for the sake of it. I’m so proud of her and excited to see where music takes her next.

Supporting her isn’t about fixing mistakes or giving her opportunities I didn’t have. It’s about encouragement, patience, and being present for her growth.

Whether it’s making posters, helping her set up a Big Cartel shop, or cheering her on at concerts, I feel so lucky to be part of this journey. She’s even worked toward a new goal—saving for her first piano, which she achieved with tips from her shows and a little help from Grandpa at Christmas :)

Mina’s journey also brings me to the bigger picture of treating your own art as a real job. Whether you're cooking, creating music, or making art, the effort, skill, and dedication are real. You don’t have to be a household name like Taylor Swift to prove your passion. What matters is the joy of creating and the importance of nurturing that creative energy.

As I reflect on my own journey, I want to remind you—whether you're an established artist or just starting, your art is important. Your voice is valid, and the creative work you're putting out into the world matters. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that to be an artist, you have to sacrifice or be in constant turmoil. Respect your process. Respect your work. Treat your creativity as a profession, because it is.

Remember, if you’re struggling with self-doubt or feeling like your art isn’t “good enough,” please stop. Your art speaks for itself. Keep going.

Thank you for being part of this journey with me. If you’ve enjoyed today's reflections, feel free to leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, and subscribe to my newsletter on Substack

If you're enjoying this podcast and want more content like this, join my creative community on YOUTUBE and in the Graphic Journal Club on PATREON.

Remember, you are an artist, and your art is valid.

Talk to you soon!Nicoz

Link to Mina’s Ko-Fi

keywords: Supporting your creativity

* Respecting your art

* Artistic journey

* Creative passion

* Artist mindset

* Creative self-respect

* Art as a profession

* Creative growth

* Nurturing creativity

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nicozbalboa.substack.com

Hello there!

This week on Balboa Park, I took a detour into the world of linocut engraving—part experiment, part therapy. 🎨 It started as a playful escape from my usual artistic routines and ended up being an ode to imperfection and patience.

Inspired by a past series, Spit on a Stranger (yes, the Pavement song 🎶), I decided to turn a self-portrait into a two-color print. The process was both meditative and nerve-wracking—especially without a press, as I relied on a trusty wooden rolling pin to transfer the designs. Let me tell you, it’s not for the faint of heart! But that’s the joy of stepping outside the so-called comfort zone, isn’t it?

What’s even cooler? I used a treasure trove of Fabriano paper gifted to me by an old friend from high school. We hadn’t seen each other in 20 years, but reconnecting was heartwarming—and now, I have all the paper I could ever need for this new creative adventure.

This linocut journey has been a reminder to embrace playfulness in art, even when it’s not tied to a specific purpose or income. (Though let’s be real, my tattoos and illustrations are what keep the lights on. 💡)

If you’re curious,I’ve shared some snapshots of the process— rolling pin and all—just click play on those videos.

Listen to the episode to hear all about:

* Why I love WhatsApp voice messages (and how they’re like mini-podcasts) (especially with my friends P., Nini and Oscar)

* A day spent engraving at STRANGELAND with Trognette and neon color dreams.

* The story behind the massive stash of Fabriano paper—and how it made its way to my studio (hello Enrico!)

🎧 Listen now

Until next time, may your creativity take you somewhere new. And if you’ve ever tried linocut printing, reply to this email and tell me all about it—I’d love to hear your stories!

Warmly,Nicoz

PS: still not sure when and how those prints will be for sale. but if you’re in a Xmas spirit and you want to gift my work you can buy my merch or you can buy/gift a graphic journal class or a graphic journal membership

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nicozbalboa.substack.com

Hey everyone,

Welcome back to Balboa Park! I’m Nicoz Balboa, a tattooer, artist, trans man, and a mom living in France. If you've been following along, you know this podcast is a space where I reflect on my creative journey as a way of exploring self-reflection and personal growth.

In Episode 30, I’m getting back to my original podcast format—just audio. I talk about why recording on video didn’t quite work for me and dive into the recurring theme of self-doubt, which touches so many areas of my life. From sending out newsletters and losing subscribers to managing a constantly shifting routine as a parent and artist, there’s a lot to unpack about how doubt and balance play into my daily experience.

So grab a drink, take a pause, and join me as I reflect on the rhythms of life, creativity, and finding a balance between personal time and work.

—Nicoz

Show Notes:

Episode 30 - Birkenstock, Self-Doubt and Balance

In this episode of Balboa Park, I return to the classic audio format, reflecting on themes like:

* Why video recording didn't feel right for the podcast

* The challenges of self-doubt, from unsubscribers to parenting choices

* Balancing creativity with the unpredictability of life as a parent and artist

* How a shifting routine with shared custody of my daughter affects my mornings

* Thoughts on guilt, frustration, and the constant need for balance between personal time and family life

* How running Strangeland tattoo studio fits into this flexible schedule

Dive with me deep into the complexity of maintaining creative momentum, while navigating life’s shifting dynamics. Whether you’re a creative, a parent, or just someone trying to find balance, this episode will resonate.

Thanks for tuning in!

xxx

Nicoz

PS: and some promo for cool merch, if you’re looking for ways to bring creative queer energy into your everyday life, check out my T-shirts and drinkware collection on nicozbalboastudio.com/store. Wear your creativity, and express your journey through these pieces that feature my unique designs. Every purchase supports my work and helps me continue to offer these creative practices. Plus, they make for thoughtful gifts for anyone on their own journey of self-discovery and growth!

PPS: you may also like this episode:

and this episode:

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nicozbalboa.substack.com