Ballyraven Cryptid Wildlife Protection Agency

Thank you to Sketchadoodel for being a guest narrator on this mini episode about the Paciencia Abductors!

Transcript

They are only interested in humans, these aliens. Extraterrestrials are well known for flying their ships above Earthling subjects of all kinds and beaming them up into space. The Test Givers, however, are more selective and strange. Burying themselves near rural communities, only their tall antennas poke above ground. A dull, gray spoon, it does nothing as creatures pass by, sniffing or batting at it, sometimes walking over and bending the metal, which slowly returns to its upright position. Congregating in groups of 3 - 7, these machines are waiting for something.

It did nothing as we began excavating, inspecting its robotic parts. Exposing the entity’s reptilian, silicone skin, a tentacle slithered from its torso, reburying it in loose dirt. These “robot rings” are found throughout Brazil and are seemingly invisible to their target demographic. When humans walk near them, the little spoons begin spinning. Sometimes, they glow blue. This liveliness usually only lasts a minute or two. Out of the thousands of these brief activations, only twice have the dormant creatures come out of hiding.

During these rare instances, a lone victim, perhaps meeting some unknown parameters, walks by; the spoons spin, glow blue, then glow brighter and brighter, bluer and bluer. Communicating above, the machines call their ship, which suddenly appears in the distance. Leaping from the ground like a spinning top, they converge against their target. With the help of a high-tech levitation device, the victim is held down and transported into the UFO.

Both victims were released shortly after their abduction. Returning to the same spots, the robots reburied themselves, reentering dormancy. Their ship, gone once more, is readying itself for its next summon, the next test, somewhere up there, imperceivable by us below.

-

These beings are acting under another’s orders, of which we are uncertain. There are two fairly good arguments, but no real evidence points towards either. This first guess is a connection to the Tiny Grays; miniature versions of the infamous Roswell aliens, two of these somewhat amphibious entities’ corpses have been recovered in Brazil. Theorists hypothesize that perhaps they are ill, injured, or otherwise troubled, looking for a solution or cure. Very little is known about these beings and they are only associated with one UFO sightings or activities; they have just appeared near human residences out of nowhere, without warning. 

The second guess is a connection to the Vegetable Man. Sharing similarities, the Paciencia Abductors and the Vegetable Man both feature syringes, oblong heads, long arms, and a similar UFO craft type. The Vegetable Man is able to communicate and has asked for help before, leading credence to theorists in the “searching for a solution” camp.

There are also many similarities between these robots and the Old Saybrook Blockheads. Machines seeking to communicate with humans, aliens with tentacle-arms and bright lights, strange methods of moving… There is much in common. No ufologists believe they were made by the same alien culture, but maybe the two’s creators have met, shared technology, or even stole technology.

And so, we were puzzled by the beings… until a new encounter occurred. We have named them Bacs, b-a-c’s, as before, they have only been referred to as the Brazilian Alien Corpses, and in the past, they were only met in death. They are also known as the ETs de Varginha.

Submitted to the agency years ago, this is a story about something strange in the woods... Something that mimics voices and wants you to come see...

TRANSCRIPT
Story submitted by Alex

Crow, WV 2002

It was raining outside, a bit chilly, a really horrible day when I think back on it. 

As soon as I got home, my cat slipped out the door. We didn’t let her outside because our dog had gotten hit by a car and our last cat was taken by coyotes, so we just wanted to keep her safe. 

We live in a very rural area beside a good stretch of forest and a long field. Every time she escaped, she ran there - which was better than the road, as it was busier than normal at 5.

So, at the end of a long day, I was chasing my cat through the grass, drenched and covered in mud. She looked back and saw that I was still following and bolted towards the treeline. I followed after her, yelling and telling her to stop or come back; she ignored me, of course. I saw her jump into some thick brush and disappear. I was so aggravated. 

I went back home and got a raincoat, boots, and a flashlight. Walking back to where I saw her last, I heard someone from my left shout, “Heeeeeyy!” There are a couple of kids who play around here, just inside the woods, so I thought it might be them - even though it would’ve been strange that they were out in this weather and so late; it did sound just like them, though, and I could make out the bright colors of some of their toys on the ground. So, I called back, “You better get home, or your Mom’ll be mad!” Two voices responded with different, yet similar ‘hey’s. They sounded maybe 20 ft from each other and a little deeper in the woods than before. 

Confused, I asked, “What’re you guys doing out here?” The next thing I heard was, “Help! Help! Help!”; each time the word was very short, almost like it was a recording being played over and over. It was… unsettling. I didn’t say anything for a while—just stood there and listened. One voice did the “Heeeeeyy!” thing again, exactly like before.

I ran to the neighbor’s house. I should have ran into the woods, in case it was the kids, but, it didn’t feel right; when I told my neighbor what happened, she had a strange look on her face - though I probably sounded crazy or, at the least, very alarmed. She told me both her boys were home. 

We called 911 and told them everything, but they didn’t find anything or anybody—nothing out of the ordinary at all. 

I felt horrible; I wasted their time and felt silly. They probably thought that I was lying. 

I also felt bad that I had been too afraid to go look myself.

I went home and turned all the lights on; I told my wife, but she thought it was all a combination of the wind and my tiredness playing tricks on me. Nevertheless, I don’t think I slept much that night.

The good news, however, was that our cat came back; late that night, she scratched and screamed at the door until I let her in. The noise scared me a bit, with everything that had happened earlier. I think she saw something outside too, because she has never tried to get out since that night. Which… left me wondering. What did I almost meet that night?

There's a strange creature afoot - er, ahand - in Pike Lake and the BCWPA is getting to the bottom of it! A pair of disembodied hands is running rampant along hiking trails and into the forest. Be careful not to get bitten...

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ENTITY: Path Hands
EPISODE TYPE: History, Nature Documentary, Ghost Story
LOCATION: Pike Lake, Ohio
TYPE: Bibelotite

Sound Effects
   
Attribution 4.0:       
Vintage Tape Recorder Button Clunks by iainmccurdy       
Woman Scream 5 by J.Zazvurek       
horror ghost 23.wav by klankbeeld 
 
CC SAMPLING+ 1.0 DEED:         
Kamelands Pond in the evening.wav by cmkendall          

Attribution NonCommercial 3.0:         
Wood Chopping.wav by jittels         
indian_creek_01_steve_bayer.mp3 by sanus_excipioMusic   
Shake That Little Foot by Shady Grove

Free Music Archive, CC BY-NC-SA by Lobo Loco:         
TheLark in the Clear Air           
Western Country    
Evening Car Blues (ID 1855)  
Old Forest Lodge 2 (ID 1836)

Free Music Archive, CC BY-NC-SA by Ov Moi Omm:       
Pretty Little Dog        
Waterbound     
I Was Different

Part one of FANGMALIA, this is the only known witness account of the Monongahela's Giant Beaver (but, of course, no one believes it). Narration by Steve Thompson.

Part one of our cryptid series are always stories: folk tales, sightings, anything we can find in history! Some, like this one, don't have a lot connected to them, unfortunately... but, at least this one is a good one.

See references and sources on ballyraven.com.
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Ask us a question!
File a Witness/Sighting Report!

CRYPTID: Fangmalia
EPISODE TYPE: History, Witness Account, Sightings
LOCATION: Newell, West Virginia
ANIMAL TYPE: Beaver

Transcript
I’m about to tell you a story, but you got to promise not to laugh. One day I was out fishing. Everything was normal. Everything was great. I started hearing this whistle behind me. It sounded real far away. I didn’t think much of it, but the sound was getting closer and closer. It got so close and so loud, it actually started hurting my ears. Real high-pitched. So, I turned around, and I kid you not, there’s this huge beaver staring at me. It throws back its head and whistles again, then just starts charging at me. That sucker headbutted me so hard, it almost knocked me in the river. This thing was massive, like the size of a beefy twelve year old, and he smelled bad, like you wouldn’t believe. We were rolling around on the ground and he was trying to bite me with his big, nasty buck teeth, and I was just laying into him, punching him as hard as I could. I got ahold of his fur and flung him into the water, and I got outta there as fast as I could. I swear. I can’t believe there’s giant beavers out there. I didn’t even grab my stuff, I just let him have it.

Have you ever seen something strange in the sky? A bug that also looks not like a bug? A translucent thing that you catch only a glimpse of? A cloud that does not move like a cloud? An unsettling blip on a photo?

People once thought that the bottom of the ocean was devoid of life, too extreme for anything to exist. Too lightless, too cold, too crushing, too empty. They were wrong. Even four miles down into the ocean’s depths, life exists. Mirroring this mysterious place, there is a similar ecosystem high in the sky, filled with animals parallel to those marine creatures found far below.

This is an episode from the archives; the audio is not as great as our newer episodes.

EPISODE SONGS (listen to and download on the Free Music Archive)
Maarten Schellekens - Just Wondering
Lobo Loco - Raining Softly (ID 1827)
Aaron Ximm - Angela Climbs a Boulder at Horn Creek, the Sun Sets, the Bat Flies By
Aaron Ximm - Sirenity
Aaron Ximm - Pole Stars
Aaron Ximm - Spring Rain
Maarten Schellekens - A Better World
Kirk Osamayo - Discovery
Kirk Osamayo - A Fleeting Thought
Kirk Osamayo - Time
Kirk Osamayo - Tired
Kirk Osamayo - Emotional Silence
Kirk Osamayo - Blinking Lights
Kirk Osamayo - Clouds
Kirk Osamayo - Twinkling Lights
Kirk Osamayo - Pray
Kirk Osamayo - Before The Light Peaks Through
Kirk Osamayo - Early Morning Self Reflection
Kirk Osamayo - Top Speed
Richard Spasoff - 2 Sci-Fi 30 sec Intro & Outro Music

SOUND EFFECTS FROM FREESOUND (in order of use)
"AutumnBlackForest" by RandomRecord19
"20150721_seagulls.01.flac" by dobroide
"Office ambience.mp3" by Nightwatcher98
Bike, Chain Spinning, Fast, 02-01.wav by InspectorJ
mounts.wav by levelclearer
CD_LUMIERE_007FX_Whale_2.wav by kevp888
Cold Breeze Ambience.wav by SiyaMahlobo
Owl Hoot by freemaster2
Party Pack, Balloons, Popping, 02-01.wav  by InspectorJ
Releasing Balloon.mp3 by Percy Duke
Piano, Metal Mallet, Scrape, Full String, Damp, Short, A.wav by InspectorJ
Cthulhu growl.wav by cylon8472
Monster Screeching by MeijstroAudio
D215 Spear into Water.wav by billcutbill
Thunder, Very Close, Rain, A.wav by InspectorJ
Heavenly_Horn.mp3 by 13NHarri
Water_Spitting by orginaljun
and other works in Creative Commons  0

Transcript
CASE STUDIES

The following are dramatized accounts; sources used here and elsewhere in this episode, as well as more information, can be found on the Ballyraven Cryptid Wildlife Protection Agency article, Atmospheric Beasts.

December 24, 1999 | Vitebsk, Belarus

High in the sky, it ominously hovered. The behemoth floated among the clouds, oblivious to those who watched below. On the ground, two people stood in awe, eyes fixated on its alien form. Not many spot sky squids when they descend this low, though during breeding season, they are more bright and colorful even to the human eye. Amorous, its skin shone the colors of a late sunset, blues, reds, and oranges. Still and cloud-shaped, it would have gone unnoticed had it not stretched out its head and arms. Semi-transparent, the clouds it drifted in front of shone through its body, obscured more by bands and balls of organs. Bewildering to those unfamiliar with cryptids, the Belarussian Squid was believed to be some sort of sharp, wingless, and asymmetrical aircraft with a bulbous backside - an unidentified flying craft. The sighting was a brief 3 or 4 seconds, the viewing ending with the Atmo Beast seemingly dissolving into nothingness.

January 20, 2010 Andenes, Norway

Amateur photographer, Milkalsen, was out late one night photographing the Northern Lights. Later, he realized that some of his photos depicted a green jellyfish; clearly visible, it floated. Initially believing the jellyfish was due to a smudge on his camera lens, he was soon proven wrong. Contacted by numerous experts, the photographer was assured that the image was not created by a camera issue - or the Northern Lights. In fact, it was unlikely that the Northern Lights or the camera could create the optical effect on their own or together.

Could the oddity have been created by a satellite reflecting the aurora's green light? In short, no. If the jellyfish was a reflection, it was the wrong color, too small, and, unlike iridium flares, the Northern Lights are 100,000 times weaker than sunlight and more comparable to moonlight.

UNKNOWN

Above North America

Pouring over NASA's archive of film, photos, and other media, the Alien Disclosure Group, discovered thousands of anomalies; clearly visible, some looked like strange, flying serpents, fish, bugs, and even jellyfish: floating or swimming, shining like a beam of light, and glowing a variety of colors.

Creatures in today’s episode will be described as they are viewed by the most perceptive of their kind; with Pentachromatic vision, the Sky Serpent has five different types of cone cells in their eyes, each able to perceive a different wavelength of light. With these specialized eyes, they can pick up a wider range of colors, and weaker luminosities, than human eyes. Through their lenses, the semi or fully-transparent forms of Atmospheric Beasts, their hidden light shows, and activities are brought fully to life. https://thecontentauthority.com/blog/pentachromacy-vs-pentachromatic

While most atmospheric beasts are not vocal, we have amplified the sound of their environment, edited so that the beat of their wings and quick movement can be enjoyed.

The atmosphere is a bubble of layered gases that wrap around the Earth. Without it, the Earth would be uninhabitable; it protects those below from space debris and provides a livable temperature range, among many other things that allow life to exist on Earth.

We are most familiar with the atmosphere’s lowest layer, the troposphere. Beginning at the ground, it is the lowest, wettest, and generally warmest, section, stretching as high as 4 to 12 miles. As you climb higher, temperatures grow colder, leaving tall mountains covered in snow even in the summer; air pressure drops too, which is why planes must be pressurized during flights - those unsuited to low pressure will experience altitude sickness, which worsens the higher and higher you go, and can even lead to death. [0] Almost all of Earth’s weather happens in this layer - and most atmospheric animals live here, as well, among the clouds.[1] [2] Ancestors interdimensional organisms that found a home here, Atmospheric Beasts feel alien, but have lived in the earth’s atmosphere for billions of years. From the smallest- microscopic beings of a hundred micrometers, to gigantic and rare beasts of 90 feet, these creatures of the sky are fascinating and entangled, dependant upon each other and a stable atmosphere to survive.

Discovery by Kirk Osamayo

Called ‘air rods’, this category contains some of the smallest atmospheric creatures.

Translucent, tiny, and predominantly hollow, air rods are invisible to all but other atmospheric beasts. If you could see them, they would likely startle you: bodies outlined in a stark white, each segment of their worm or centipede-like body is dotted by a pair of eyes and a pair of wings; some sprout the translucent, long wings of dragonflies or the shorter, rounder wings of bees, and others a membrane-flap like a flying squirrel, or spindly, reaching legs connected by bands of thin flesh. Uniform cylinders, the head is nearly indistinguishable from the end of the animal. The interior of each body part, each section, is almost completely see-through - it would be entirely so if the animals were organ-less. Where their internal processors reside, a saturation of color beams: yellows, greens, and oranges. All atmospheric creatures are so translucent that food can be observed throughout the entire dietary system, illnesses and abnormalities pinpointed, and pregnancies detected from the outside.

Some Air Rods move like worms or serpents, fluidly curving up and down or side to side; while their translucent, dainty bodies aid in their invisibility, so does their surprising speed. Regardless of their method of locomotion, they can change direction on a whim and with ease, losing little speed in the process; some flap in billowy waves, others arrhythmically beat, but most rapidly buzz uniformly. Air Rods range from one to six inches in length, or form connected colonies that stretch up to four feet. They hunt other Air Rods or the tiniest Atmospheric Animals, the Atmoplankton.

Straight cylinders, curving spools, and ovular discs, Atmoplankton are microscopic. Carried by the wind, their light bodies float through the air. Unable to move much, they can shoot forward or adjust speed with aid from an air pump or alter their course with help from two, long, spindly fins, or a singular, wavy flap. At the current’s whimsy, they feed on sunlight like phytoplankton, moving when needed to reach sunlight. While the winds may carry the organisms high above the clouds and into ideal feeding plains, it can also blow them to the ground. Atmoplankton can survive here as long as they receive at least a little sunlight each day and avoid copious water or being stepped on. If they're lucky, a gust of wind will send them airborne once more.

These tiny organisms feed many Air Rods, as well as larger filter feeders, like Sky Whales and Atmospheric Jellyfish. The base of a sprawling food chain, they do not live long or complicated lives, relying on rapid reproduction to survive as a community.

As atmoplankton feed, they store some of the energy gained; the more energy they have in storage, the greener they glow and the bigger they grow. Well fed populations of Atmoplankton are found high above the clouds, as well as in often-sunny places; when currents cluster and tangle them together, the air may take on a visible, slight green tinge. Bright green atmoplankton are at the end of their lives; going through a process known as multiple fission, the dying parent divides into 2 or more identical copies of itself. Smaller and pale, its offspring continue the cycle of life.

Air Rods are divided into two categories: those that feed solely on Atmoplankton, and those that feed solely on other kinds of Air Rods. Unlike Atmoplankton, Air Rods interact more with their environment and have a broader, more complex sense of sight, instead of only being able to detect light.

“Herbivorous’ Air Rods feed on these airborne microscopic organisms, as well as flecks of drifting pollen, and occasionally, tiny, lightweight seeds; these types of Air Rods are rounded on each end and often described as more bubbly and wide. A nickname was given to them based on their mouth-agape feeding method: Flying Fish. Small and quick, daytime grazers consume ten dozen or more Atmoplankton a day. Nocturnal grazers eat after sunset or while under cloud cover; these darktime species have a special trait: when hunting for food, they float in place and pulsate with weak, pale light; emanating from a wavy, thin membrane that completely encircles the creature, it quivers hypnotically. The glow activates nearby atmoplankton, who become dormant in the dark and more difficult to spot, even by other Atmospheric Beasts.

Time song

While this amazing adaptation helps Sky Fish feed, it also draws in predators. Predatory Air Rods are keen hunters, who have nocturnal, “flashlight eyes” tuned to spot a variety of even the faintest glows, reflections, and shapes. These creatures are unable to function in bright light, but have impeccable vision in complete darkness - able to dodge obstacles, pinpoint the translucent, hiding forms of others, and quickly attack. The light produced by other Atmospheric Beasts is pronounced in Air Rod eyes, they cannot only easily find prey, but spot dangers.

Grabbing prey by one end with sharp pinchers, they grip the rest of the body with their own, snapping a segment off from the Air Rod; releasing, the hunter minces the piece through a tunnel of different sized and shaped, crunching, shredding teeth. As long as one segment remains, the Air Rod will survive, albeit weaker, slower, and more at risk of further violence. Air Rods must continuously feed, any disadvantage puts them in peril

Tired song

While all Air Rods are generally able to escape predation, they are particularly vulnerable during fragmentation - another type of asexual reproduction. Like Atmoplankton, Air Rods are ready to reproduce once enough energy has been stored - and child-creating also marks the end of their life. Air Rods begin reproduction by flying high in the sky and above the clouds to be obvious and clearly visible to potential mates; carrying out dazzling performances, each species has its own preferences and displays: some coloration is on the wing, creating vibrating neon stripes, others blink moving patterns across the body, or light their entire form up in reds, oranges, greens, and yellows. Air Rods ready to mate attach themselves to the front or back of a partner; the organisms’ bodies morph, binding together and swapping genetic material; when enough partners have connected, the Air Rod ceases to glow and begins to sink. Tethered in breeding colonies, their movement is awkward and slow, though, luckily, they do not need to feed. After a few days, the group breaks up into at least double the number of Air Rods that initially congregated. These small, baby Air Rods are weak; it takes many months for them to mature and grow strong enough to form young of their own. Their attention focused elsewhere, energy expended on attracting partners, and their defenses greatly lowered, predators have a chance of catching the elusive Air Rod.

Emotional silence song

Atmo Jellyfish are a unique kind of cloud Animal: they lack any semblance of eyes, relying on sensing light and tremors in the air to navigate and detect food. With a round or ovular "head" that appears bloated or full of air, like a jellyfish or parachute, they are most recognizable for a secondary section made up of tentacle-like appendages, strands, or other lengthy, thin, and numerous pieces. Overall, Atmo Jellyfishes' appearances are very reminiscent of the ocean's jellyfish; however, Flying Squids are also categorized as Atmo Jellyfish. While all Flying Squids are Atmo Jellyfish, not all Atmo Jellyfish are Flying Squids. A subcategory, Flying Squids have two heads, one elongated and large, the other small, round, and retractable, as well as two tentacles or elongated growths that can be hidden inside the body. Both are filter feeding omnivores.

Carried by wind currents, Atmo Jellies swim through the sky; unlike Air Rods, they cannot go against the currents and are not agile; they rely instead on their great size to survive. There are few dangers for these animals; while other organisms that prey on them do exist, they are most threatened by air pressure. Unable to withstand even slightly higher pressures, Atmospheric Jellies burst if they are brought too low. Sensitive to pressure changes, they may alter their forms to glide upward or slow down. Strong storms may overcome them regardless.

Like many smaller Cloud Animals, Atmospheric Jellies spend their day seeking sunlight: that’s where food is.

In sunny spots, the Jellies prepare to feed. Inflating with air, flattening limbs and curling them forward all around the body, and opening a mouth found atop the head wide, they push the held air outwards, speeding forward; the arms trap any small food bits just out of reach of the mouth and push them towards the vacuum. The gulp passes through a mass of stringy, sticky carpet; any material in the air is captured in the filter, the rest flowing past and out of the Jelly. After, the jelly swallows: a chitinous, flat scraper runs down the filter, pushing what is trapped in it down into the stomach. Atmospheric Jellyfish must float and propel endlessly, as none of their bodily functions work without air moving through them; food, however, requires a period of still dormancy, allowing meals to be digested.

Flying squids drift arm-forward instead of head-forward. Much larger than Jellies, Flying Squids are incapable of propelling themselves, completely at the mercy of the currents. During filter feeding, the animal repeatedly opens and closes its mouth, which lies between its pair of tentacles; so large, it inevitably catches something. Flying squids do not rely on filter feeding to provide the bulk of their meals, however. Masters of camouflage, these animals tuck most of their body within their larger head and fluff up, appearing as a small cloud. Remaining in the middling air between the troposphere and stratosphere, their powerful limbs whip from hiding, grappling larger prey and shoveling it into a larger, secondary mouth filled with spinning spools of small, serrated fangs.

BLINKING LIGHTS SONG

The second atmospheric layer, the stratosphere, is much different than the troposphere; it has no turbulence, no updrafts, is incredibly dry, and temperatures rise the higher up you go. Tall or nacreous clouds occasionally reach above and into this layer. Most atmospheric beasts reside only in the troposphere; two kinds, however, have evolved to flit between both. The stratosphere is the breeding pool for Atmospheric Jellyfish of all kinds.

Cloud animals are bright and colorful when romance is on their mind. The entirety of female Atmospheric Jellyfishes bodies illuminate, bubble, jiggle, and dance when they are seeking a mate; their heads neon bulbs and their ribbony extremities pulsating or dancing with beams, flashes, or speckles of light, they look to draw the attention of the opposite sex. Atmospheric Jellyfish cannot see the entrancing colors they produce, but the display generates a specific type of heat, as well as lures in food animals; the activity creates a lot of motion, enticing nearby Jellies moreso. Interested males slowly float towards the larger females; if they like what they see, they hold each other's tentacles, twisting together.

Not very mobile flyers, the pair fill themselves up with air, ballooning to make their way upwards. Reaching the drier, calmer layer, they release gametes through a multitude of pores on the head; this type of reproduction is called spawning. Weightless, floating eggs spreading out in a cloud, the jellies awkwardly flip themselves upside down with help from each other, and release their held air, propelling back below. Their offspring are safe in the stratosphere; those who would eat them can only exist below.

Courting Jellyfish, however, are not safe. Primed to capture them, Sky Serpents are writhing, many-winged or wingless animals with long, sinuous bodies and dragon-like heads. Shapes described as similar to brine shrimp or Chinese Dragons, these creatures swim through the air like a snake in the sand or on the water. There are two types of Sky Serpent: Horned and Lightning Tongued.

Song

Horned Sky Serpents have long, sharp faces; confined only to the highest reaches of the troposphere and the lowest of the stratosphere, they must make every interaction with potential prey a success. Small, thin, and winged, they zoom through the air in coils and wavy lines. Stalked eyes found throughout the body, they pick up shapes, colors, and movement 360 degrees around them. Able to fly in any direction, against strong currents, and perform impressive aerial maneuvers, while they are not as fast as Air Rods, they are the strongest flyers of the high sky. As they careen through the air, they pierce through small prey, Air Rods, small jellies, Sky squid young, or smaller sky serpents. With a prehensile tongue, they wrap around catches and bring them to the mouth. Some Sky serpents have multiple head spikes, upping their chances of spearing prey.

Horned Sky Serpents are also able to hunt prey larger than themselves. Spotting Jellies and Squids, they shoot towards them, aiming for the translucent indicator that marks where their filter resides; spearing through, just before it, a boney tailfin catches the serpent, snagged parallel against prey. The tail keeping it in place, it boomerangs backwards. A second piercing attack, this one aims for the smaller, oranger brain; flaring with color when engaged, it is easier to spot than at other times. If successful, the snake feeds itself for days, even weeks; it also feeds the many carnivorous Air Rods passing by. If unsuccessful, however, the serpent is in deep trouble. Stuck to the Jelly or Squid and unable to easily unattach from its thrashing foe, it can be battered by the Atmospheric Jellyfishes strong, sometimes stinging or thorned limbs. The first attack pining the mouth closed, the combat could also end with two losses and a feast for other organisms. If the Atmospheric Jellyfish can unhook a Sky Serpent from their body, it can regrow missing tissue and heal. Sky Serpents are not as durable; prone to bursting when squeezed, and even more susceptible to air pressure, their lives can be cut short easily.

Known as Dragons or Magic Worms, Lightning Tongued Sky Serpents are wingless marvels. Glistening, stark bodies made up of white lines or dots on translucent bodies that even humans can see from a distance, they are large creatures. Their faces are broader and rounded, some only having nubby horns or none at all, in addition to round, earthworm-ish bodies that look like they are filled with boba pearls. Moving in up and down waves, they seemingly swim through the air. Covered in large pores that open and close, and possessing several air bladders throughout the body that hold and expel air through the same pores, speed, weight, and direction are controlled. Slower than their horned relatives, these creatures depend on an ability that is almost magical.

From head to tail, the boba pearls seen from outside are actually several rows and bands of round, air filled nodules; as the creature undulates and air is pushed past them, the bubbles rub each other. As the Magic Worms fly, sparks shimmer within; inside they generate a powerful shock. Building up a charge, the animal only releases the energy towards prey or other, aggressive Flying Serpents. When a target is acquired, a long projectile, forked tongue jets out, making contact and embedding into the prey's body. As Cloud Animals are gelatinous creatures made mostly of water, electricity is very damaging; when these animal’s bodies are heated or overly pressurized, it transforms into a different substance: star jelly. Magic Worms consume this substance alongside whole, small prey, siphoning up the falling liquid with a secondary tongue, a siphoning tube.

Twinkling Lights song

Sky Serpents are not like other Cloud Animals - they do not take part in courtship rituals. Once a year, the animals seek mates - whomever they see first - the twisting, quick greeting is the only socialization of their kind, and the interaction is only a few seconds long in total. Egg layers and fertilizers, both serpents bear young after a coupling. To lay, they scour the stratosphere for unbothered clutches of Jellyfish eggs. If a Sky Serpent has already deposited eggs into the hatchery, they may destroy them, replacing them with their own; alternatively, they may choose to seek another location instead. If better areas cannot be found they will lay in the open air instead. Sky Serpent hatchlings feed on the eggs of Atmospheric Jellies, as well as recently hatched young; if ample food is not nearby, they will cannibalize their siblings.

PRAY song

There is a final classification of Atmospheric Beast, the largest, it sits at the very top of the food chain. It has no natural predators and can eat anything in its path: the Cloud Whale. Surprisingly for a creature of such massive size, it is the most elusive; very little is known about them at all.

Cloud Whales do not really resemble whales much at all: they are billowing thunderheads with three pairs of chunky flippers that wave out of sync on the underside. With large heads that taper downward into stubby tails and high-rising, upper backs, the shape is reminiscent of Humpback or Sperm Whales. Large specimens are almost only found preceding or alongside massive storms, hidden among other large thunderheads. Round, black, beady eyes appear in clusters: some on the chin of the animal, others on the head’s top, side, and snout. To those viewing the animal below when it is active, it is not transparent or very strange at all - only a fluffy, darkening cloud. If one stares long enough, though, oddities can be spotted: horizontal stripes flicker or stream with white, yellow, and orange light; these generally blend in with lightning storms, but when isolated it is troubling. The animals also are more animated than other clouds, moving in unusual or eye-catching ways, floating quicker, or even moving backward.

When feeding, a growing triangle appears in the cloud, followed by a drop in air pressure and a series of unsettling noises; sounding like metal scraping against metal or an echoing trumpet, and in rare instances, muffled roars, they Cloud Whale’s screech has been documented numerous times and posted online, often under the title “Heavenly Trumpet” or “Weird sounds in the sky”. The feeding pose of the mouth can be difficult to observe on the ground, unless one is far away and in high elevations. Opening wide and far, there is little resemblance of a head in this pose. Massive filter feeders, Cloud Whales inhale all but the largest of Sky Squids. Once they are finished, they slowly dissipate, as invisible as Air Rods. Even sky serpents have trouble spotting cloaked Sky Whales; either due to their massive size stretching their membrane incredibly thin or a specialized adaptation, even serpents are surprised when one wakes from dormancy and draws it into oblivion.

Other activities of Cloud Whales are unknown; there have been observations of small Cloud Whales near large Cloud Whales, and small, solitary individuals of various sizes, lending to the belief that they reproduce while camouflaged, are born small, and may be sexually dimorphic. There are not many stories or detailed sightings of Cloud Whales, though one account claimed to have seen a small one spit a stream of horizontal water across the sky. Active Cloud Whales have also been spotted outside of stormy behavior; the connection between weather and whales have not yet been discovered.

The habitat of Atmospheric Beasts are being threatened by climate change and pollution. Efforts for cleaner air and green energy are not only necessary to preserve these beautiful animals, but to prevent atmospheric blooms; as algae blooms are detrimental to underwater organisms, atmospheric blooms are deadly to air-breathing creatures. Out of control populations of atmoplankton are on the rise; inhaling too many causes a variety of respiratory illnesses, some fatal. These issues will only grow with intensity as more greenhouse gases are added to the atmosphere and atmoplankton-eating animals grow fewer and fewer. Consider donating to the Clean Air Task force, a charity dedicated to meeting the world’s rising energy demand in a way that is financially, socially, and environmentally sustainable and to push technology and policy changes needed to achieve a zero-emissions, high-energy planet. Visit catf.us to donate today.

If you or someone you know has seen an Atmospheric Beast or has information about them, contact the BCWPA. We will provide an update on these magnificent creatures when new information is gathered.

If you are interested in other strange, flying creatures, read about the Aerial Manta Rays, found above the Ohio River. If you are interested in other transparent cryptids, look into the English fog entity: the Shapeless or Boneless.

Possibly the most haunted state in the US, West Virginia is inhabited not only by droves of cryptids, but ghosts! Today, we visit a lake to learn more about one of the region's ghostly animals - a horse-like one, to be exact!

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ENTITY: the Stallion of the Mist
EPISODE TYPE: History, Nature Documentary, Journal Entry, Ghost Story
LOCATION: R. D. Bailey Lake, Hanover, West Virginia
TYPE: Kelpie

“Could you tell the spooky story from my hometown? It’s about an old, fiddler ghost. Thanks, a Bud in Bud (West Virginia).”

Ghosts of all kinds populate our world. But, did you know that some gather and work together? Like little villages and townships, this is the story of Berg Hammond and his ghostly friends on Bud Mountain.

Something strange is always going on in West Virginia. In Wetzel County, men are particularly plagued by something horrific - and something that is stealing their food! Prepare for a paranormal investigation... we're going in the field!

ENTITY: the Arches Fork Skeleton
EPISODE TYPE: History, Ghost Story, Nature Documentary
LOCATION: Arches Fork, Wetzel County, West Virginia
TYPE: Grumbler

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TRANSCRIPT

Welcome, Agents.

I received a curious question in the BCwPA mailbox last night and I stayed up til the sunrise looking for its answer.

"Dear Ballyraven, Are there any ghosts that eat stuff? Like stuff from the real world? Best, Ghost Girl Katey, Columbus, OH."

After some digging around in the archives, I found the perfect tale to answer this question–and the answer is a surprising “yes.”

---

There is much to uncover and learn about ghosts, the paranormal, the Voritorvita: Eaters of Life–but it is best to start from the beginning: their origin. Found throughout the world, paranormal beings are creatures that do not naturally reside on our earthly plane of existence; in fact, they only began popping up around 4,000 BC–but that is a whole other story to tell, set in ancient Babylon. Ghosts, poltergeists, and all other types of paranormal entities are actually a subset of cryptids known as Transdimensional Creatures, animals that can travel back and forth between two planes. They are not the returning souls of once living beings, but strange, often frightening beings that feed on us. They are one of Earth’s largest parasites, and unlike more mundane pests, they cannot be eradicated at the source.

Reality is composed of compressed layers; each slice has its own history, contains its own organisms and fundamental laws, though, the closer one layer (or realm) is to another, the more they have in common. The only constant shared among all of these layers is the starting shape of the universe. Traveling from one layer to another is extremely difficult, as it typically happens randomly without forewarning. It is also very, very risky, as you never know where you will end up, or if you can survive there.

Like the Voritorvita, Fae are not native to this plane of existance. Earth and Avalar, however, are extraordinarily similar, so lucky fae who were teleported here were comfortably able to make it a home. The Fae (or “Freefolk”) Realm is a layer that lies somewhere above the Prosaic (or Earthly realm). Fae have been brought to this dimension several times, always unintentionally; in these instances, a tear opened between the boundaries that separate the two realms, creating a powerful force that sucked in all life on one side and spewed them out into the other. It is not yet known why these tears spontaneously develop, appear, or disappear, though there are clear signs of one to come, as well as one that is active. These places are called ‘window areas.”

Below the Prosaic Realm lies the Devouring Realm, where the Voritorvita reside. Unlike the fae, dimension-hopping is easier and usually done by their own choosing. First, their fluidic forms allow them to completely or partially phase into our earthly plane. Second, their bodies can withstand and recover from more trauma associated with realm hopping, permitting more frequent travel or the ability to live between realms. Additionally, the divider between the Prosaic and the Devouring is exceptionally thin. This not only causes unsuspecting creatures from both worlds to fall into developing or closing window areas, but acts as a steady stream of food for the Voritorvita. Communities of paranormal creatures gather around window areas, migrating to another once one begins to dry up and close. Certain types of paranormal entities spend more time in our world than in their own. Some can only eat the food they need to survive here, others grow stronger faster on Earth, or use our realm as a safer breeding ground. 

Realm hopping is known to be a dangerous undertaking; outer planer beings sometimes cannot survive where they end up, such as the merfolk of the Middle Ages, who appeared suddenly in droughted forest. Yet, the Voritorvita have been fortunate; they thrive in the Prosaic Realm, face little danger, and are not limited by Earth’s habitats, atmospheres. Like the fae, paranormal entities do not follow the same laws of nature earthly beings must adhere to; thus, their lives little resemble those we are well acquainted with. The differences within their kind yield numerous innate advantages over those unfamiliar with their capabilities. Little is known of their needs, behaviors, and functioning - for now. Also like the fae, while they are shapeshifters, their resting forms are believed to be different in appearance from those in their home plane. Currently, the natural or Prosaic resting form of any paranormal entity is unknown.

What is known is that the creatures imitate life or visions of life on Earth, often emulating the recent past of their arrival, building a knowledge base by reading the minds and memories of sentient creatures they come into contact with. Most entities keep the same guise for their entire stay in the Prosaic realm. More intelligent creatures, however, change their appearance and behavior to more aptly survive. Almost all are tied to low points in history. Most feed on the emotions of sentient creatures, some on those of lesser beings, or their own kind; fewer feed on physical sources.

Attracted and deeply connected to death, darkness, misfortune, emotions, and deception, there is much to uncover on the Voritorvita.

---

“The forest is always creepy after dark, especially in rural West Virginia. There are many things that wake up when the sun disappears, and while it is unlikely that I’ll ever meet them, I can’t help but be on edge… just in case it’s my lucky night. Alone here, staring into the woods outlined only by firelight, I can’t help but feel a chill run up my spine, a cold breeze wash over me. Hear noises and see shadows that don’t actually exist.

Reaching for my bag of marshmallows, I immediately knew something was wrong. The bag was paper-light, and this was a new pack of the Jumbo marshmallows. Trembling, I looked at the bag; a tear had been made into the plastic and not a single, fluffy cube remained. I heard a wet smack and looked up. Sitting across from me was a corpse. It’s skin was thin and dry, pulled tightly over its bones; It’s large, claw-like hands squished heaps of marshmallows, and its unsettling, thin lips were painted with bubbling saliva and melted mallow. It raised a hand to its mouth, cramming a dozen or more pasted rotten, broken teeth and tall, brown gums. It smiled at me as it walked backward, more treats held tight in its other fist. Staring at me with its eyeless, noseless grin, it disappeared into the forest’s shadows, where my firelight couldn’t reach.”

---
It was once thought that paranormal entities could not eat prepared food, only raw, living substances or their abstract products. Grumblers, however, are paranormal entities that steal food from other living beings. Not only do they feed on prey’s response to them, but their own, actual food, requiring both to sustain themselves. 

The Arches (Arch-eez) Fork Skeleton is one such entity, targeting only men and eating only pieces of food that are desired by the ones they are haunting. While this being can cause psychological distress, it is mostly harmless and the amount of food it eats is no greater than 4 ounces a week. Nonviolent, it must feed on a steady stream of nervousness and fear, in addition to a corporeal substance when hunger gnaws; it prefers sweets, but refuses to eat meat. 

It is estimated that this species of Voritorvita is rare; there may be more of its kind to be discovered and studied in this state, but they likely exist elsewhere with differing characteristics and tastes. Traveling and investigating this area left researchers pleasantly surprised, especially after a sort of friendship between the entity and themselves formed. While normal haunting occurred the first two weeks, offerings of food and decreasing levels of fear with sightings produced a strange reaction - the grumbler began appearing in full view, not suddenly, or partially to strike fear, but almost as if out of curiosity, observing the observers. Grimly formed, the Arches Fork Skeleton has boney arms and legs, and a gaunt, overly large, skull-ish head devoid of eyes, but it also has a plump, portly stomach. It never spoke legibly to the investigators, even when prompted; it did, however, make wet, gurgling sounds. Performing different comprehensive and linguistic tests, it is believed that this being does not understand any Prosaic languages, and may not be capable of speech entirely. 

If you find yourself in the area, and feel fear prickle your spine, calm yourself and know it is only the work of a Grumbler, there is nothing to fear, nor is it evil - not all of the macabre are enemies. In fact, this paranormal entity is a boon to local wildlife. As it feeds on human activity, it has driven many families away from the area, providing more room and resources to other creatures. 

When visiting this section of Wetzel County, it is recommended to set and fill an extra plate of food for the Arches Fork Skeleton, to fill its belly so that it does not surprise and trouble another, less knowing traveler - and possibly, to make a new, strange friend in the area.

Something strange and stinky once lurked throughout the Cranberry Glades. Based on 18th-century journals and field research, this is just the beginning of something called the "Proboscis Bird." European exploration, birds, smells, and the swamp, grab your pith hat for a new adventure. This is the full story of West Virginia's Proboscis Bird: sightings, folklore, history, and all of our research and observations of their daily lives.

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TRANSCRIPT
"Halt, there's a stench in the air.
Alas, we must get far from here!
Oh, won't the sun quickly rise!
Oh, I hear them close behind...

-

Welcome back to the Ballyraven Cryptid Wildlife Protection Agency, BCwPA for short. Today, we’re talking about rare, Appalachian birds–ones that are now presumed to be extinct–and our story takes us to a peat bog in southern West Virginia. There are six cryptid birds in the state alone, but this one is likely the only one you know anything about. Though, what you would know isn’t its name, appearance, or habits, but a fact that turned into an old wives tale. 

Titled, “the Case of Cranberry Glade” in BCwPA archives, this file will answer a question we pulled out of our mailbox.

Dear Ballyraven,
A lot of people say that if you touch a baby bird, the parents won’t recognize its smell and will abandon it. I don’t think this is true, but I’m not 100% sure. If I’m right, why has it become such a common myth?
Thanks, Birdwatching Bubba
  

Bubba is right. Birds generally have a poor sense of smell, relying instead on seeing or hearing to recognize their young. Picking up and placing a baby back in its nest won’t harm nestlings—the bird stage where they look like pink or brown wads of wrinkled skin. Its parents will continue to care for it as usual, no harm done. Some birds are worse with misplaced chicks than others, but it’s not because of smell. Several species of bird will direct fledglings back to their nest if they fall out, but others, like the Grey-headed Albatross, will only recognize their young if they are physically in the nest, providing no help to get back home. There is one bird, though, that this information simply doesn’t apply to.

To find the origin of this general bird myth, we have to go a few hundred years back in time, to the 18th century–the 1700s. An exploration team in the Cranberry Glades came across something they described as “foul and peculiar”; the trip and the creature were well documented in a journal written during the expedition. Afterward, we will answer several questions about the animal, using agents’ investigation notes from 1974, and providing modern commentary and explanations from the BCwPA Field Guide.

-

Loud, heavy boots trekked down the mountainside, the ground cragged and gritty with sandstone. Gear clanged and rattled, the noise bouncing down into the valley, announcing the party’s invasion. Deer and rabbits fled while squirrels and birds watched from their perches. A turkey vulture followed above. Crossing over this chain was no easy feat, and the exploration team was exhausted and marred by misfortune. Once 60 men strong, they numbered less than 30, losing several along the way to illness, violence, and bad luck. Most unfortunate was the loss of their guides, who simply disappeared two weeks prior, and the team’s expert frontiersman, only two days ago. Concerns heightened. The expedition, or perhaps the land, was cursed. Thomas Fallam, leader of the party, was also experiencing some malady. Outwardly in good health, with no injuries or symptoms, he never seemed to sleep. He was seen and heard rummaging through the camp at night, staring down into a fire, or standing alone in the woods. It was feared he was coming down with the ‘madness of the mountain’, an illness believed to develop in some who breathe in air from high altitudes. They could only watch and hope the signs abated over the course of their descent.

Drawn by rich forests, abundant wildlife, the anticipation, expectation of discovery and wealth led them here. In what is now called the Allegheny Mountains, the land peaks at 3,400 feet, gradually sloping into a valley; nearly 300 miles from the nearest settlement, it would be an understatement to call the trek challenging, even for an experienced, well-equipped team. Expeditions once cut through Virginia to find nearby access to the Pacific Ocean, later to support England’s claim over the territory, and, now, to increase the English' s presence and survey for settlement.

A strong, refreshing breeze occasionally whipped up towards them. While it made it harder to walk down, it felt wonderful, cooling them off on their trek into the lowlands. Dressed in wools, the men were usually hot or cold, but never comfortable. They dressed in baggy coats, thinner waistcoats, stockings, and tall, stuffy leather boots. While the material kept a body warm in the cold, there was nothing one could do in the heat but remove layer after layer. And, when wet, the clothing became heavy. 

The lower and lower they walked, the thicker and more humid the air became. The next day was even more terrible. Weighed down by their wools, further down, they encountered sloshing mud. Their surroundings morphed from a dense forest to a bog; a stream cut through their path, then another. The ground became slicker and tacky, the unavoidable mud gripping and pulling boots right off the foot. The water pooled around their ankles, then calves, saturating them entirely, irritating and hurting their skin. There were no attempts at drying–and no hopes of temporary relief for the rest of the day. The pleasant breeze died, which added boiling in the humidity to their list of complaints. The night was barely tolerable. Fallam wandered in a circle around camp; the rhythmic, yet occasionally erratic, slap of his bare feet put the men on edge.

Finding good footholds the next day was a struggle. The earth was just as soaked as they were, squishing and squeaking with each step, fizzling with water like a wrung sponge. The mosses built tall knolls that were easily tripped over, reaching 3 feet high in some places; the vibrant, bubbly tangle of vegetation and rock was tied in place and smothered by vines and bushes. Before them, in the distance and under the setting sun, was a beautiful sea of gently swaying wildflowers, herbs, and grasses in yellow, orange, and green speckled with bright white and red.

Seeking a place to camp, they settled on a small, somewhat dry hill under a sprawling swamp maple; the area was littered with clusters of broken sticks, little bones, and long-lost feathers, The debris was not a welcome sight. Something had been here and attacked–and likely more than just once, counting all of the bones. While the carnage looked far from fresh, the possibility that whatever made it could still be somewhere, hidden in the vast bog, was not a welcome consideration. 

There was also a smell; the valley, though lovely to look at, emitted a foul aroma, like putrid vegetables and fish. The hill somehow smelled even worse than the disturbances released earlier in the mire with each muddy stomp. Fallam, with an unblinking, wild, wide-eyed stare, smiled as the party discussed whether to go back or forward, whether they should spend the night elsewhere. Concluding the debate, he insisted they should stay, as he would like “a chance to see what kind of beast might do such a thing.”

The team built a small fire, cooked leftover game, and argued over watch; no one felt much like sleeping, even though their weary bodies demanded it. The roar of insects was an eerie combination of new sounds and a few familiar ones. The sway and windy jerk of grass and leaves teased invisible creatures and possibly concealed real ones’ movements. The firelight played tricks, creating the reflective glint of nonexistent eyeballs and shadowy figures. And the smell—it never let one feel at ease, always returning with a new, acidic, deathly edge.

The journal recounted many thoughts and fears of an imagination run amuck: the undead waiting on the scummy swamp bottom, crawling up from the water once they gave in to sleep; a giant serpent in the tree, posed to strike with its mouth spread wide and breathing heavily; a slinking, diseased, evil panther circling the mound, plotting how to take them down one-by-one. Fallam sat near a fire, his eyes fixated on the darkness.

Leaning against a tree and never quite falling asleep, one noted a shift in the atmosphere late that night. A breeze picked up and cut through the bog, smacking into the camp along the way; the scent it carried was beyond foul. Sickened, he fell on all fours. Senses overwhelmed, head spinning, mouth-watering, he tried to hold his nose and keep his meager dinner inside. Pallid, his eyes rose slowly, leveling with the field's pointed, woozying top. The air stilled once more, but in the distance, just out of the firelight's reach, the bog was rustling. Not the way the wind would rustle it but the way something walking through it would. Frightened into a stillness, he held his breath once more, fingers quivering, legs tight springs. A musket sat a few feet away; he grabbed it. There was nowhere to run. And yet, that is what Fallam did; sprinting towards the movement, he disappeared into the night.

More shaking appeared in the grasses, but not in the same place. The movement was all around and the general stench of the air intensified. Splashing, squelching, wet sounds encircled the hill, as did muted thumpa-thumps. He called out, expecting a mad Fallam, but received no response. 

A clawed foot reached from the field. It hung above the moss, slowly splaying out and down, squishing into the green. Another claw breached, attached to a long, stick-like arm. A round body bobbed up and down in a rhythm of three quick movements. The creature's head was tucked into itself; feeling the air upon it, it stretched, exposing a wrinkled gullet with tufts of hair scattered over it like a nearly bald head. A long line of fur was upon its back, standing on end and pointing out in two directions like a bat's wings frozen mid-flap. It stared up at the author, sending a shiver down his back; it had no eyes, only a long rectangular head of melty, rumpled skin. The flesh on the tip of its face inflated into a ball, hissing and deflating in a puff of air. The animal shined in the firelight; a brown ooze dripped from its body and trailed down its legs, gathering bits and pieces of what it traveled through.

Undoubtedly, this creature was the source of the hill's bad smell. It walked forward with hesitant movements, its head twitching up and down, its bulbous nose inflating, deflating. Frozen, he recounted watching the creature as a shout sent the camp into chaos. Its face tilted upward, it gave a deep sniff and flapped two heavy wings before rushing forward and into his arm. Scared, he scuttled backward, hitting his back against the tree. The thing had fallen, as well, landing awkwardly on its back; it rolled around, righting itself after a slight struggle. It shook, puffing its feathers out, then continued forward, unbothered. Looking around frantically, he realized the things were coming into the clearing in hordes. The explosive sound and acrid smell of gunfire surrounded him. Clumps of the things fell in heaps. Yet, the creatures ambled forward.

From all sides, the beasts stepped onto the hill, walking over corpses of their brethren, towards the fires, sniffling loudly. One broke from the shrinking circle, a beeline into a burning pit. As the flames hit, it honked, thrashing wildly, flapping, kicking, and snorting. Another ran, and another, and another. They clinked against a cookpot, the fifth attack sending it rolling downhill. The birds sizzled and smoked and fluttered around; their honking stopped most of the shooting. 

The sniffling restarted, a loud, audible wave; the birds changed course, some running for the tumbling pot. Others began charging those who had caught on fire or were shot, pecking and tearing at their flesh hungrily. 

-

Known today as the Cranberry Glades, this 750-acre bog in Pocahontas, West Virginia, is where the Sightless Swamp Bird was first documented and last seen. It is an animal few are familiar with, except the most thorough cryptozoologists. Referred to by a few other names, like the Proboscis Bird (for its oversized nose) and the Stinkbird (for its natural musk), it nearly went extinct due to these 18th-century explorers.

Killing a massive amount, they then captured every bird that had wandered in or near their camp. The animals were unafraid of humans initially, but also couldn’t successfully evade capture even when they tried. Throwing together a makeshift pen, the animals were drawn in and corralled over the course of several weeks. It seemed that the more birds they had nearby, the more newcomers were drawn in. Building larger and larger pens, they set trap boxes and lures, the birds an unending stream of intrigue and food. The little camp was surrounded by hundreds of stinking birds by the weeks’ end: from old, nearly featherless elders to fuzzy, yet mostly bald chicks. The hatchlings were easiest to work with; less than 6 inches long, and even less intelligent than their parents, they ate anything presented to them and did not mind poking, prodding, or handling as much.

Unusually docile at night, as the sun rose, they grew more aggressive. They pecked at hands, feet, faces, anything in reach, with a sharp, one-toothed beak that was hidden under their fleshy nose; surprisingly strong and vicious, the attacks left deep, painful wounds. Aside from pecking, they would relentlessly hiss and screech, as well as violently thrash around. The “Stenchbird” was decidedly butchered at night to avoid these unpleasantries.

Easy to make into a meal, the birds’ aromatic, tough meat tasted as disgusting as it smelled. Conserving their supplies, they suffered through countless portions of the bird, half-heartedly searching for their missing leader. The creatures’ feathers were foul and coated in an unpleasant oil. While they could have been implemented as stuffing or quills, their scent and feel would persuade few to use them if any alternative was presented. 

In fact, this smelly oil was an overall issue. Tainting meat, feather, and skin, the secretion and its smell clung to clothing, gear–everything it touched. Spread by hands, utensils, workspaces, and the birds, it made both the skin rashy and stomachs sickly. Before they could begin to figure out a way to circumvent it, an evil descended upon the birds: they were increasingly cannibalizing each other, even with various feeds being provided.

After a month, with the search for Fallam unsuccessful and the animals’ strange behavior a sign, the expedition made the decision to pack up and return home while they could. The bulk of the birds were exterminated; others were slain for provisions. Only four men survived the trip back.

-

The handling of these animals on a large scale devastated the Sightless Swamp Bird population. Relying predominantly on their sense of smell, the animals were unable to recognize one another. Opportunistic eaters, they consume anything that may be food; repeated human contact with birds led to mass confusion and violent feeding frenzies, among other issues. Chicks became strangers to the herd—causing them to be ignored and starved, and in some instances, eaten by their own parents. Any bird touched by human hands was shunned or attacked by the community. Few functional birds exited the disassembled camp.

An already small population of organisms, such an extreme loss of life placed them immediately at risk of extinction. Found only in this little wetland, even after 200 years, their kind never recovered. The Sightless Swamp Vulture hadn't been seen in the wild since 1897, until a BCwPA investigation in 1974. It has since been added to the growing list of cryptids native to the Monongahela National Forest. It has not been seen since and is presumed to be extinct.

Some may still persist out there, though. 

-

The Proboscis Bird. What do you think of it? Was it real? Were any parts of this story… off?

We’ll give you a moment to form your opinion.

Now, you’ve probably never heard of the Proboscis Bird before reading about it on ballyraven.com or in one of other publications–and that’s because it is completely fake! There are some strange Ballyraven drawings we refer to as “big-nosed birds”, but they are unrelated, un-honestly-translatable, and likely just doodles. Otherwise, there is nothing real about the legend of the Proboscis Bird or its existence, except for some cool bird facts; that’s why we wanted it to be the first full case we covered. In honor of pwcas, we have created our first complete yarn (though, we are of course not nearly as good as they are at it). Without an extensive background full of folk tales, strange sightings, and name recognition, you may have immediately gotten some red flags.

This entire episode is actually based on an old wives’ tale sent to our mailbox by the anonymously dubbed, "Birdwatching Bubba”. We liked the idea of exploring this saying so much that we made a whole episode based on it. What if this saying was true? What would such a bird be like? How would it be a problem for them? Why might this idea have spread? We ran with the idea of a bird who relied on smell more than any other known bird species. We ended up basing a lot of its life and habits on the Turkey Vulture, who vomits up at enemies, suns, has a bald head, an incredible sense of smell, and is generally looked at with disgust. Unlike Proboscis Birds’ though, they can fly and see.

We tried to get to the bottom of this “don’t touch a baby bird,” idea, but there was no definitive answer. It may have started as an excuse for parents to convince children to leave wildlife alone, or perhaps explain why they couldn’t care for one. It also may have been a misunderstanding. Birds sometimes remove chicks from their nest; this can be for one of many reasons: it is sick, they have too many to take care of, or it is a brood parasite (look up Cowbirds). If someone tried to return a bird that was intentionally removed, its parents would kick it out once more. This could have caused someone to think that the second eviction was their fault, and that maybe their human smell offended the baby’s bird parents.

While this episode was used to subtly teach about vultures and, now, debunk a myth, it is also an exercise in detecting a classic red flag. Working in the cryptid and paranormal community for a decade, you learn to watch out for many things. Some story tellers are well meaning, and many genuine, but there are also a lot of less than savory figures. More often than not, these sorts won’t tell you if they’ve added this or that to a story, or even why they did so. One of the classic tactics used by con artists and malicious liars in this sphere of content is an appeal to antiquity or the past.

BCwPA field expeditions are already very dubious (we just have to take the author’s words and drawings that they saw and experienced what they claimed), yet fabricated histories can get away with even more trickery. First, there’s something about stories set in specific parts of human history; maybe it's the time period, their distance and disconnect from our present, or our thoughts and feelings towards a specific past. Whatever it is, when we hear something happened a long time ago, we might look at it with a little less scrutiny, and with a bit more tolerance of vagueness. It happened so long ago, maybe the facts were distorted. Maybe we just aren’t well informed. Maybe it’s something newly unearthed. A story told with authority or with many details often gets by. This story was supposedly backed by journals kept in a museum, even displayed for a time; there were exact numbers, real locations, distances, times, and even a specific name mentioned. If you looked up that name, tried to find more information on the journals, the expedition, or even mentions of the birds themselves, you would be confused or arrive at a dead end. And when you find yourself with a lack of proof, you may first wonder if you’re using the wrong search terms, or maybe what you’re looking for isn’t online. But, when you begin to find contradictory info, and, in this case, a complete lack of it being mentioned anywhere, you should be cautious. You are likely being told a fake story.

A second layer, European explorers and colonizers were also perfect for this tale. Outsiders in an unfamiliar land, they are not remembered for respecting nature (or much else); it is not too far of a stretch to believe that they mistreated animals, especially inadvertently, because we also know that they did that and much more. You’re less likely to question something even a little believable or expected.

These were only a few of the flaws you could find in this story. What else was a red flag or gave its dishonesty away? 

Thanks for listening and be careful of what you believe. Being able to find the truth is a skill, something you have to work for; very rarely will people give it to you.