The Martin Luther Franchise Report has important information regarding your Friday night plans this week.

Alan ruminates on the connection between baseball and Hindu mythology, and our lawyer advises us of some new content guidelines in the wake of last week's podcast crackdown by A Certain Professional Sports Organization. We also chat with sportswriter and self-described "recovering lawyer" Wendy Thurm, who has some sharp insights on said crackdown (unlike our lawyer, who mostly communicates via text message). Plus: the shadowy origins of Dr. James Andrews medical practice.

Legendary sportswriter Pat Jordan joins us to talk about his recent Buck Showalter profile in Sports on Earth, Tim Nguyen talks about his bold quest to crowdsource the funds to purchase the Clippers from Donald Sterling, Alan reveals the strong influence of the occult in professional baseball, and a truly awful fish pun.

We remember the glory days of Randy Milligan, try to convince Alan that he should care about the National League, viciously beat the corpse of the Donald Sterling horse (including commentary from an actual Clippers fan), and talk to Padraic Lillis, the artistic director of the Farm Theater (thefarmtheater.org).

The Melvin Mora Franchise Report reminds us of its namesake's remarkable contributions during his 10-year tenure in Baltimore, and also covers the Orioles current third base woes, not to mention Cuba's role on the global stage. Sam and Alan also bid a fond farewell to one of the three Mets fans they know, and crack open the Hootenanny Studios Time Capsule for a Seventh Inning Sketch from a couple years ago that has proved remarkably not-prescient.

The Morons celebrate the proud legacy of Buddy Groom, salute the welcome certainty of the 90 foot distance between the bases, help Ben Masten create an MLB Singles (powered by Match.com) profile, and announce our first-ever corporate sponsor.

Sam and Alan attempt to process the various ups and downs of the first week of the 2014 season, and play a recording from Peter Angelos's secret audio diary.

Our annual tradition continues! The Morons bring you a complete list of convenient and hilarious nicknames for each player on the Orioles 25 man roster. The discussion is moderated by our friend Jen, whose loyalties, it turns out, are for sale. Plus, a special edition of the Seventh Inning Sketch from Old Time Family Baseball's Michael Clair.

Sam and Alan explain baseball to a skeptical friend, review the latest literary works of particular relevance to All-Weather Fans, and marvel at the ongoing idiocy of Dan Snyder.

The Morons check in from a moving rental car in sunny Sarasota, sharing their observations about America's most pendulous state as well as the youngsters fighting for roster spots in Orioles camp.