Life ain't going so well for Ash, it's not even going as well as he was expecting (which was real bad).   

The gang comes up with a plan to save Ash, and not a moment too soon since he, much like the majestic narwhal, does not do well in captivity (Seriously, narwhals can't survive in captivity, look it up).  

We also get the most vulgar monologue I've ever had to read, so that's definitely something.  

This must be the American Dream, right?: [email protected]