This week, Melanie has a gift and a burden, we reminisce about the smells that wouldn't leave us, the Midwestern food bracket prepares for a savory-ass showdown, Melanie continues her beef with Ohio, Brianne wants a vision board, an article was clearly written by a dude, Melanie buys a book, Brianne's politeness brings Satan into the picture, Binky bites the dinky, Lil Wayne and a polar bear have things in common, we get sleepy about zoo animals, and sharks aren't being carried like princesses.

Content warnings: poaching, death of a rhino around 17:45, finger being bitten off, animal attack, possible injury to male genitals, structural fire, death of many primates, vague death of turtles, exploding aquarium, death of sharks.

Links:
15 injured, 3 shark dead after giant shark tank in Shanghai shopping mall exploded..
15 injured as 33-ton shark tank bursts in shopping centre
23 PRIMATES KILLED BY SMOKE IN FIRE AT PHILADELPHIA ZOO
28 Sep 1994, 17
A killer bear - and the state that loved him
Binky (polar bear)
China: Shark Tank Explodes At Shopping Centre
Fire at the Philadelphia Zoo Kills 23 Primates
In Memory of Binky and Nuka
Lil Wayne Deposition Video (Full Version TMZ)
Philadelphia Zoo Fire
Shark tank terror! Giant aquarium explodes in China sending predators, fish and huge shards of glass into crowd