During a dialogue, a woman asks how to be a “custodian of love” when her relationship is full of conflict, friction and she becomes defensive and emotional. Barry says every woman contains the “real woman,” yet layers of guilt, self-judgment, and a man’s undermining can stir emotion. Barry adds that women often become emotional when not loved enough or when unconsciously attached to past lovers, projecting old disappointments onto the present man.
Barry warns that demanding love makes a man go cold, and suggests a clean, temporary separation—with no nightly calls—to discover what they truly love. If they reunite, he recommends a daily, lived tenderness: attention, cuddling, simple joy in being together. Vital presence and acknowledgement of love, not demand or habit, keeps love alive.
'You must acknowledge the good in your life. The more you acknowledge the good, the more things improve.'
'Woman gets emotional when she is not loved enough.'
'You can’t demand love. When the woman starts demanding, the man goes numb; you mustn’t feed the pattern.'
#BarryLongAnswers
#ConflictAndLove
#CustodianOfLove
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About the series:
This episode is drawn from the three-part series “Loving and Living without Attachment,” recorded in 2002 on the Gold Coast, Australia. The complete series is currently available as a paid product, and it will also be available to stream through The Barry Long Archive soon.
The series presents one of Barry's most helpful teachings for man and woman who aspire to live together harmoniously. He covers many topics around a central theme - attachments, what causes them, why we suffer their effects and how to get rid of them.
He is questioned by the audience on the implications for relationships, partnerships and marriage. He speaks about the folly of having beliefs, the familiarity that obscures our attachments and the heartbreak of having to put the truth first. And he shows us how to be more intelligent in our relationships and how to get rid of attachments and keep love alive.
Link to series: https://www.barrylong.org/products/audio/loving-and-living-without-attachment
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Related topics from the archive:
🏷 Man and woman in love: https://www.barrylong.org/archive/topics/480/man-and-woman-in-love
🏷 Practical advice for relationships: https://www.barrylong.org/archive/topics/525/practical-advice-for-relationships
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Related articles from the archive:
📃 Love – as it truly is: https://www.barrylong.org/archive/articles/24/love-%E2%80%93-as-it-truly-is – "Most women's lovemaking experiences are fraught with frustration. Most of the experience of men consists of arousal with the prospect of ejaculation. Between her underlying fears, her reservations and hopes based on past experience, and his dancing excitement, also based on the past, there is very little chance of making true love between the two of them in the now or present. It will produce more emotion than love."
📃 A love that endures: https://www.barrylong.org/archive/articles/26/a-love-that-endures
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Barry Long Answers is a new, free podcast that invites listeners into the intimate dialogue of audience questions and the spiritual master’s answer. These exchanges provide universal guidance to a range of everyday issues concerning man and woman. Each episode begins with a direct question put to Barry and his uncompromising response. The series draws from the Barry Long Archive, a repository of over 20 years of Barry Long’s teachings.
