We read Herman Melville’s bizarre short story Bartleby the Scrivener.  Basically, this guy prefers not to do more and more things until he dies.  Is it pro-capitalism or anti-capitalism?  Is Bartleby a pathetic loser, or is he a hero?  Find out what we think!  Jackie sings the f***ing hobbits theme. Theo comes up with a nickname for himself.  Rachel denies an unnamed company free clout.  Topics include: Jerry Seinfeld, work drunk, the Miss Jackson award, the Hulk, Swilly Willy, Bob Cratchit energy, SmoothMyBalls, ear feathers, cat chat, the Wet Boys, turtle adventures, and Roxane Gay.