Fire the Canon

By Rachel, Jackie, Bekah

What's Fire the Canon about?

Prefer your books in comedy form, but still want to sound smart at parties? We got you. Discover the hilarity hidden in the classics with new episodes every other Thursday.

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Fire the Canon episodes:

05.23.2024
Mrs. Dalloway Begins: Let’s All Crack a Cold One On the Road, Together
Please join us as we read the first half of Virginia Woolf’s modernist masterpiece, Mrs. Dalloway! Taking place on a single day in mid-June 1923, the book takes us in and out of the minds of our two main characters,...
05.02.2024
The Life and Times of Virginia Woolf: I Love How Women Are Like A Mommy
Join us as we delve into the life of Virginia Woolf, a woman who was many things, chiefly among them a writer! Despite Jackie promising to make this the most depressing author bio episode of all time, Rachel and Bekah...
04.18.2024
A Fun Chat About Racism (Patreon Bonus)
Stop! We see your eyeballs getting ready to dart away to something more fun. Dart 'em back here. This is the most fun you'll have hearing about race and racism since... ever, maybe! We know the bar is low, but...
04.13.2024
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Finale: Give Me a Squirrel, Daddy
The gang finishes out the tale of ol' C-Bucks and the maniacal chocolate man in spectacular fashion - late, but not that late! Thanks for the endless patience of our many adoring fans. We would never turn you into marshmallows,...
03.28.2024
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Part 1: They're Killing Me, These Buckets!
Quick! What has 14 legs, one bed, and half a potato? Why, the Bucket family, of course! Join the gang as we cover the first half of Roodle Doodle's classic, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. You all know how the...
03.14.2024
Chatting with Ada Palmer about Machiavelli, a Sweetheart Who Did Good Things
She's back! University of Chicago professor, historian, and award-winning novelist Ada Palmer joins Rachel and Jackie for a conversation about the life and times of Niccolo Machiavelli, a fascinating guy who lived through fascinating times. Learn all about how his...
03.07.2024
The Reading Corner 1 (Patreon Bonus)
Happy March, everyone! For our Patreon bonus, we thought we'd try something new: The Reading Corner! Jackie and Rachel have a friendly chit chat about whatever books we're currently reading. Maybe it will become a recurring feature? It all depends...
02.29.2024
Machiavelli's The Prince: Or, How to Not Get Invited on Walks Anymore
The patrons battled it out in honor of the upcoming Ides of March, and in the struggle between The Art of War and The Prince, let's just say The Art of War got Caesar'd. It's like getting Punk'd, but instead...
02.15.2024
The Life and Times of Roald Dahl: Spy, Children's Book Writer, and EXTREMELY Complicated Dude
In preparation for our upcoming Charlie and the Chocolate Factory miniseries, we got the gang together to learn about the absolutely absurd life of Roald Dahl. Best-known for his children’s books, Dahl also wrote some very weird, pervy adult stories....
02.01.2024
Fakespeare Returns: Thomas North's Revenge
Don’t say we never put our stellar reputations on the line for you! Joining us this week is our friend Jacob Waller (find him on YouTube as Big Yellow Praxis), who has recently fallen down the rabbit hole of a...
01.18.2024
Moby Dick Finale: Fate's Lieutenant (and Its B*tch)
Ahoy for the last time, me hearties! In this episode we cover Moby Dick from chapter 102 until the bitter, watery end. Ishmael finally reveals why Captain Ahab is so obsessed with Moby Dick, we finally discover the fate of...
01.11.2024
1-Star Reviews: Pride and Prejudice (Patreon Preview)
This week, we're sharing part 2 of Jackie and Bekah reading one-star reviews of their favorite books to each other. Jackie comes at Bekah with the harshest criticisms of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice available on Goodreads. To hear the...
12.21.2023
Charles Dickens' The Battle of Life: Christmas Out the Wazoo
This week, we're joined by a very special guest: Nikita! Jackie handpicked her to co-host this episode because Nikita is funny, despite not being a man. We read and discussed the fourth of Charles Dickens' five Christmas Books so you...
12.14.2023
A Christerious Re-Release: Hercule Poirot's Christmas
In the spirit of the holidays, which some call the holiday spirit, this week we're re-releasing an old favorite from 2021: Agatha Christie's "Hercule Poirot's Christmas". Rejoin the original gang for a hilarious journey through a Christmas mystery (Christery). If...
11.30.2023
Moby Dick 4: Racist or Nautical?
Ahoy! Welcome back to the podcast. In this episode, we cover chapters 71-101 of Moby Dick, and we come away with less whale knowledge than we started. Ishmael and Queequeg are wedded (again), a whale gets killed, ominous doings are...
11.23.2023
Stephen's Sleep Talking Part 3 (Patreon Preview)
We're back with another rousing look into the sleeping mind of Stephen, who really wants to know if you'd rather hold someone, or someone holds you, in bed, and there's another figure as well. Rachel wants to know if people...
11.16.2023
Moby Dick Part 3: The Town Ho's Story
Ahoy, y’all! We’re back and we’re covering chapters 46 through 70 of Moby Dick. Sorry we were gone so long; Jackie was planning her annual Halloween party (that’s why we were gone, not Rachel’s wedding or bar exam study). In...
09.11.2023
Moby Dick Part 2: You Can't Be a Bad Guy if You're a Wife
Happy Monday! Are we late from last week, or early this week? Who knows. Look, we aren't JUST telling you what happens in chapters 26 through 45 of Moby Dick this week. We're also inviting you to a party that...
08.17.2023
Moby Dick Part 1: Be Happy About the Ocean
We're back with the first episode of our series on the incomparable, the amazing, the VERY VERY LONG classic novel Moby Dick! Experience Herman Melville's classic boy-meets-whale tale as neither you nor anyone else has ever experienced it before. Rachel...
07.27.2023
1-Star Reviews: The Fellowship of the Ring (Patreon Preview)
Happy Thursday, everyone! This week we have a Patreon bonus preview for you all, in which Bekah and Jackie take turns reading each other one-star reviews of each other's favorite books. This week, Bekah tries Jackie's patience with the words...
07.13.2023
The Life and Times of Herman Melville: A Weeb for Polynesia
This week we bring you another of Jackie's favorite type of episode: author bios! Even more exciting, we have a MAN joining us, so you can rest assured that this episode will contain about 33% less crying than usual. ...
06.29.2023
The Poetry of Sappho: Lil' Dicky from Man-Land
Happy Thursday! This week Rachel, Jackie, and Bekah wrap up Pride Month with a bang. The gang keeps it lesbian and discuss the life and times (what little is known about them) of Sappho, the Ancient Greek "Poetess" whose works...
06.08.2023
Theo Battles the Booger Monster (Patreon Preview)
Hi, lovely patrons! As our thank you for your support this month, we bring you the action-packed, hijinks-filled tale of Theo's role-playing game with Chat GPT as the Dungeon Master. Will Theo prevail in his goal of defeating a ridiculous...
06.01.2023
The Wisdom of Ptah-Hotep: Advice from the Oldest Book in the World (or, 110 Years to Prove the Pharaoh is Awesome)
The original gang is back! Why? Because Theo needs advice. Not just any advice - the oldest advice in the world. That’s right - this week we’re discussing The Wisdom of Ptah-Hotep, a “book” of “advice” from Ptah-Hotep, vizier of...
05.11.2023
Talking to Author Frances Hardinge About Worldbuilding, Spooky Houses, and Mind-Control Perfume
This week, we're coming at you with another FANTASTIC author interview, this time with the brilliant and wonderfully unusual Frances Hardinge, the award-winning author of "A Face Like Glass", "Cuckoo Song", "The Lie Tree", "Deeplight", and, most recently, "Unraveller". Her...
04.27.2023
Slaughterhouse-Five Part 2: Poo-Tee-Weet?
We wrap up the second half of Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse-Five, and things actually get pretty real! Jackie isn't cut out for monogamy. Bekah schools an alien race on ableism. Rachel wants to normalize pooping in the dark with an electric...
04.20.2023
Goosebumps 4: Say Cheese and Die (Patreon Preview)
Theo is back, baby! The OG Goosebuddies bring you another spook-tactic Bump Patrol episode. This is a mega long free preview, because the full episode is somehow mega long! What can we say, we love these weird lil tales. And...
04.13.2023
Slaughterhouse-Five Part 1: Billy Pilgrim Has Come Unstuck in Time.
In this episode, your intrepid hosts cover the first half of Kurt Vonnegut's highly autobiographical masterpiece, Slaughterhouse-Five. If you didn't catch his bio episode (#112), we highly recommend taking a listen! Accurately described by Rachel as both an upper and...
03.30.2023
The Life and Times of Kurt Vonnegut Jr.: You Gotta Ban the Books!
In preparation for our Slaughterhouse-Five episodes in April, this week we're covering the life of its author, Kurt Vonnegut Jr.! Never heard of him? Neither has Bekah! But sure enough, we'll all learn a little bit together, with Jackie leading...
03.23.2023
She's the Man: Amanda Bynes' Shakespearean Masterpiece (Patreon preview)
To borrow the parlance of a wise, wise man, today marks our eleventy-first episode! And what better way to celebrate than by listening to four millennials reminisce on the teen masterpiece She's the Man starring Amanda Bynes and Channing "Chiseled"...
03.16.2023
Monstrilio: A Conversation with Debut Author Gerardo Sámano Córdova
Jackie and Rachel interview Gerardo Sámano Córdova, whose debut novel 'Monstrilio' was released on March 7, 2023. 'Monstrilio' is, per the LA Times book review, "an unearthly hybrid that’s part horror, part literary meditation on grief, part wildly entertaining tale."...
03.02.2023
Shakespeare's Twelfth Night Finale: The Brotherhood of the Traveling Brain Cell
Welcome back! In typical Shakespearean comedy fashion, when last we left our characters, everyone was in love with the wrong person and/or pretending to be someone they’re not. Will Viola, Orsino, Olivia, and Sebastian ever figure this mess out?! Spoiler...
02.16.2023
Shakespeare's Twelfth Night Part 1: Lies. All Lies.
We have great news this week - for one, we made it through another 7 days in the hellscape that is life in the 21st century, even though the Death Plume is slowly creeping toward Jackie's house. For another, much...
02.02.2023
Pinocchio Part 2: Not a Puppet, Not Yet a Boy
We wrap up the ridiculously child-inappropriate children's story of Pinocchio by Carlo Collodi. Host Rachel says it best when she sums it up thusly: sometimes barely anything happens, and sometimes way too much happens. Ain't that just the way? If...
01.26.2023
Talkin' Cricket Blues (Patreon Preview)
You know how Rachel's cousin Megan has a mega crush on Jiminy Cricket? Well, now you do. We brought her on to explain herself. Join our Patreon to access the full episode, and other bonuses! ★ Support this podcast...
01.19.2023
Pinocchio Part 1: Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves! (With Some Help From Jacob)
Today, we discuss that seminal work of puppet literature, Pinocchio! Written by Carlo Collodi in the early 1880s, this is a very, very strange book. It’s never been faithfully adapted to film, for reasons you’re about to discover. Also: you’re...
01.09.2023
Bye, Thelicia (Sort Of)
We're saying goodbye to Theo as our producer and regular feature of the show, but don't worry - we haven't seen the last of him. He'll be back for various special episodes in the future. In the meantime, we hope...
01.05.2023
Charles Dickens’ The Cricket on the Hearth Part 2: Here Comes the Killing!
The gang is back for the second half of the most absolutely whackadoodle Christmas story ever written. Sure, in episode 1 all that happened was we met some cute people who prepared for a luncheon, but now we’re looking at...
12.22.2022
Charles Dickens’ The Cricket on the Hearth Part 1: I Guess You Learned a Lesson
After a nice long fall break, we’re back atcha with the third of Dickens’ five Christmas stories! This week we cover the first half of The Cricket on the Hearth: A Fairy Tale of Home. For having such a cute...
11.10.2022
The Moomins: Muumibuumi!!!
Boy oh boy, do we have a special episode for you! Today, in a vibes-based episode, we will be discussing the Moomins, amazing creatures created by Finnish writer/artist/anti-fascist Tove Jansson. These days, you can find the Moomins in TV, anime,...
11.03.2022
Bump Patrol: Monster Blood (Patreon Preview)
Happy belated Halloween, and welcome to Bump Patrol #3 - Monster Blood! We read and enjoy and ponder over RL Stine’s rollicking 1992 monsterpiece. Stay spooky! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
10.27.2022
Bram Stoker’s Dracula Part 3: Inside the Brain of a Child Vampire
Oh look, our 101th episode! In celebration, we kind of just continued doing our thing. It’s what we do best. We give a mini Stoker bio and wrap up the final 9 chapters of Dracula, and things get gayer and...
10.20.2022
Bram Stoker’s Dracula Part 2: Draculala Land
Mwahahahaha, welcome to part 2 of our miniseries on Bram Stoker’s Dracula! This week we cover chapters 10-18 of that classic Gothic horror novel. Our team of hunters is uniting, blood is being consumed, and vampires are being staked. Who...
10.13.2022
Bram Stoker’s Dracula Part 1: Fling with a Skeeze
Velcome, velcome, velcome to part one of Dracula. Possibly the most famous Gothic horror novel of all time, Bram Stoker’s masterpiece is, for the uninitiated at least, a surprisingly complex read full of uncomfortable yet strangely compelling eroticism! We cover...
10.06.2022
Talking to M. Grant Kellermeyer About "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow"
This week we speak to Michael Kellermeyer, proprietor of Oldstyle Tales Press (www.oldstyletales.com), about what seems to be his favorite thing in the world - the works of Washington Irving. Michael is a former English professor, current independent publisher (and...
09.29.2022
Rip Van Winkle (Patreon Preview)
This week is a bonus episode! Enjoy hearing about the man who had a family and a few friends, then fell asleep for a while! When he awoke, the world was both similar and different. ★ Support this podcast...
09.22.2022
The Legend of Sleepy Hollow: Poppin’ a Wheelie on a Horse
Make sure you have your sleepytime tea and ZzzQuil (not sponsored) on hand for this one, because things are about to get spooky and you’ll need calming agents to keep your wits about you. This week, we regale you with...
09.15.2022
The Life and Times of Washington Irving: One Hundred Years of Crayon
This week, we bring you the tale of Washington Irving, a delightful historical troll and one of our current favorite guys. Perhaps best known for being the author of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow and Rip Van Winkle, he should...
09.08.2022
Talking Transformative Works with Author Nghi Vo: Call Me Fish Mail
We talk to Nghi Vo, author of The Chosen and the Beautiful, one of the Great Gatsby adaptations that have been released since the book entered the public domain, about getting our grubby fingerprints all over the classics. She talks...
09.01.2022
The Great Gatsby Finale: Enter the Multiverse; Any Timeline Works - Anyone Could Be His Child
Jackie brings us a question from her sister (because we know about gender things). Theo has 200 Microsoft Bing points. Rachel makes the case for gay Nick. Topics include: whether or not Nick Carraway is an aphrodisiac, Google vs. Bing,...

What's Fire the Canon about?

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Fire the Canon episodes:

Mrs. Dalloway Begins: Let’s All Crack a Cold One On the Road, Together

The Life and Times of Virginia Woolf: I Love How Women Are Like A Mommy

A Fun Chat About Racism (Patreon Bonus)

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Finale: Give Me a Squirrel, Daddy

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Part 1: They're Killing Me, These Buckets!

Chatting with Ada Palmer about Machiavelli, a Sweetheart Who Did Good Things

The Reading Corner 1 (Patreon Bonus)

Machiavelli's The Prince: Or, How to Not Get Invited on Walks Anymore

The Life and Times of Roald Dahl: Spy, Children's Book Writer, and EXTREMELY Complicated Dude

Fakespeare Returns: Thomas North's Revenge

Moby Dick Finale: Fate's Lieutenant (and Its B*tch)

1-Star Reviews: Pride and Prejudice (Patreon Preview)

Charles Dickens' The Battle of Life: Christmas Out the Wazoo

A Christerious Re-Release: Hercule Poirot's Christmas

Moby Dick 4: Racist or Nautical?

Stephen's Sleep Talking Part 3 (Patreon Preview)

Moby Dick Part 3: The Town Ho's Story

Moby Dick Part 2: You Can't Be a Bad Guy if You're a Wife

Moby Dick Part 1: Be Happy About the Ocean

1-Star Reviews: The Fellowship of the Ring (Patreon Preview)

The Life and Times of Herman Melville: A Weeb for Polynesia

The Poetry of Sappho: Lil' Dicky from Man-Land

Theo Battles the Booger Monster (Patreon Preview)

The Wisdom of Ptah-Hotep: Advice from the Oldest Book in the World (or, 110 Years to Prove the Pharaoh is Awesome)

Talking to Author Frances Hardinge About Worldbuilding, Spooky Houses, and Mind-Control Perfume

Slaughterhouse-Five Part 2: Poo-Tee-Weet?

Goosebumps 4: Say Cheese and Die (Patreon Preview)

Slaughterhouse-Five Part 1: Billy Pilgrim Has Come Unstuck in Time.

The Life and Times of Kurt Vonnegut Jr.: You Gotta Ban the Books!

She's the Man: Amanda Bynes' Shakespearean Masterpiece (Patreon preview)

Monstrilio: A Conversation with Debut Author Gerardo Sámano Córdova

Shakespeare's Twelfth Night Finale: The Brotherhood of the Traveling Brain Cell

Shakespeare's Twelfth Night Part 1: Lies. All Lies.

Pinocchio Part 2: Not a Puppet, Not Yet a Boy

Talkin' Cricket Blues (Patreon Preview)

Pinocchio Part 1: Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves! (With Some Help From Jacob)

Bye, Thelicia (Sort Of)

Charles Dickens’ The Cricket on the Hearth Part 2: Here Comes the Killing!

Charles Dickens’ The Cricket on the Hearth Part 1: I Guess You Learned a Lesson

The Moomins: Muumibuumi!!!

Bump Patrol: Monster Blood (Patreon Preview)

Bram Stoker’s Dracula Part 3: Inside the Brain of a Child Vampire

Bram Stoker’s Dracula Part 2: Draculala Land

Bram Stoker’s Dracula Part 1: Fling with a Skeeze

Talking to M. Grant Kellermeyer About "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow"

Rip Van Winkle (Patreon Preview)

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow: Poppin’ a Wheelie on a Horse

The Life and Times of Washington Irving: One Hundred Years of Crayon

Talking Transformative Works with Author Nghi Vo: Call Me Fish Mail

The Great Gatsby Finale: Enter the Multiverse; Any Timeline Works - Anyone Could Be His Child

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