Tonight we’re presenting 5 of our most beloved, humorous, and explicit poems about Christmas night intimacy. All are spoofs of the most classic Christmas poem of all time.The Black Knight Before Christmas - by  The Mad Splatter ‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse; My panties were hung on the bedpost with care, As my fingers parted my soft pussy hair. My pussy I fingered while all snug in my bed, As visions of huge cock danced in my head; My tit in one hand, and squeezing my nip, I moaned and I groaned, while my muff I did grip. When out on the lawn I heard a faint sound, I popped out my fingers from my wet and hot mound; And naked, away to the window I dashed, Tore open the drapes as the yard I did flash. The moon on my breasts was a sight to behold, Showed my smooth white skin and red nipples so bold. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But William, our black neighbor, who I’ve wanted all year, With an ass like a rock and muscles so thick, I knew in a moment I’d found my hard dick. While rubbing my pussy I suddenly came, As he whistled and shouted, and called me by name; “Now, Susan, you minx, you hot little vixen! It’s time that you knew what you’ve always been missin’! From the tip of my rod to the sack of my balls I’ll make you forget your drunk husband, Paul!” His words, they made my fantasies fly; And I slid both my hands between my wet thighs; And started to spread and rub my bare lips Now slick from the promise of a huge, black dick. And then, in a twinkling, I heard a loud knock, And knew at the front door awaited my cock. I threw on my robe and sped down the stairs, Hot for the stud who awaited me there. When I opened the door, he wasted not a moment; Entered the room and tore off my garment; And dropped to his knees, put his face in my snatch; My pussy lips burned, as hot as a match. The nub of my clit he held tight in his teeth, His fingers he rubbed on my slit just beneath; I squeezed my huge tits, nipples dark as a cherry, And his tongue was now stabbing my pussy so furry. Hearing my breathing had become quite quick He knew it was time to show me his prick. He pulled down his pants and exposed his firm belly, And his long, thick tool to which I said, “Oh, Billy!” It was chubby and plump, and hard in my hand; When it slid in my mouth, he barely could stand; So a chair I soon found and gave him a seat; I straddled his cock and ground on his meat. He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, And filled up my pussy, then came with a jerk, And sliding his finger inside of my ass, I came on his lap and slumped with a gasp. I slid off his cock, and fell to the floor, And licked the last drops of cum like a whore. And he finally exclaimed, with my mouth on his rod, “Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good…oh, oh my God!!!”[[More]] And To All A Good Lay  - by  foehn ’Twas the night before Christmas, and down in my drawers, my creature was telling you, “Get on all fours!” You’d already laid down your stockings with care, and come to molest me in my easy chair. The kids were all upstairs and sleeping at last, and now it was “us” time; not slow, but not fast, you unbuttoned my britches and pulled my pants down, and up sprang my elf with his little pink crown. He trembled and twitched with desire that was spastic, desiring our session of love to be drastic. Tenderly, gently caressing my shaft, you leaned close to kiss it, just driving me daft! By flickering firelight, its head disappeared, when all of a sudden, the thing that I feared, the most about Christmas Eve night came to pass, as Santa Claus plopped on our fire, on his ass. Our fire was extinguished and smoke filled the air, as Santa jumped up with, a burning derriere. I took in the view with a wilting erection, and wondered “What’s wrong with our burglar detection?” Santa was hopping and howling in hurt; I pulled up your favorite plant from its dirt, and taking the pot, knock