Be a Happier Parent

By Alex TrippierSociety & Culture Relationships Parenting Kids & Family

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Typical duration
58 min
per episode

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Be a Happier Parent episodes

October 13 Ep 38: Parents with ADHD with Erica Djossa
Check out Erica's work at https://www.ericadjossa.com/
You can find my online coaching community at https://www.skool.com/be-a-happier-parent/about
If you're interested in 1:1 couples coaching, email me at [email protected]
content type
Interview

primary goal
Educational

summary
In this episode, we explore the impact of ADHD on parenting and relationships, focusing on how neurodivergence influences the mental load, responsibility, and communication between partners. Erica Josso shares insights from her work and books, offering practical advice for couples navigating these challenges.

keywords
ADHD, parenting, mental load, relationships, neurodivergence, gender roles, communication, mental health, family dynamics, ADHD in adults

key topics
ADHD as a brain function difference in dopamine regulation
Gender differences in ADHD presentation and diagnosis
The impact of ADHD on mental load and household management
Communication strategies for couples dealing with ADHD
Challenging societal expectations and gender norms in parenting
The importance of defining shared standards and expectations
The role of compassion versus enabling in ADHD relationships
Strategies for managing capacity and avoiding burnout
The social conditioning of priorities and responsibilities
Tools and resources for supporting neurodivergent parents

57 min
September 14 Ep 37: Demand More with Laura Danger
Laura Danger is @darnchat on social media.
Her book is No More Mediocre: A Call to Reimagine Our Relationships and Demand More.
If you would like to find out more about one-to-one coaching, email me at [email protected].
My Be a Happier Parent Skool community is currently available on a free seven-day trial. I distil my coaching down into easy-to-follow videos, and I’m on there every day chatting to people and answering questions.
Come and check it out:
https://www.skool.com/be-a-happier-parent/about
You can also follow me on Instagram and TikTok @BeAHappyParent and on YouTube @alexindadland.
content type
Interview

primary goal
Educational

summary
In this episode, Alex Trippier talks with Laura Danger about the realities of relationships after having children, gender roles, emotional labor, and how societal systems influence family dynamics. They explore how anger, community, and systemic change can lead to healthier, more equitable relationships.

keywords
relationships, parenting, gender roles, emotional labor, systemic change, anger, community, family dynamics, gender equality, mental health

key topics
Impact of having children on relationship satisfaction
Gender roles and societal expectations for moms and dads
Emotional labor and mental load in households
The role of anger in driving change
Community and systemic change for better family life
The influence of societal systems on family dynamics
The concept of living in community and shared responsibility
The importance of valuing care work and emotional labor
The impact of societal hierarchy and capitalism on family roles
Strategies for having difficult conversations about division of labor

guest name
Laura Danger

sound bites
"There's a lot of inequity and sacrifice in households."
"It's okay to feel angry and face discomfort."
"Sitting with discomfort is work every day."

Chapters
00:00 Introduction: Why relationships change after children
02:00 The inequity of emotional labor in households
05:13 Laura Danger's story of her birthday and realization
07:57 The systemic roots of family struggles
12:01 The importance of community and shared responsibility
15:53 The influence of societal expectations on masculinity
19:56 The role of anger in creating change
25:03 The impact of societal hierarchy and capitalism
30:11 Valuing care over struggle and wealth
35:04 Living in community and local activism
39:56 The importance of valuing emotional labor and care work
45:05 The internalized expectations of masculinity
50:00 How systemic change can improve family life
55:08 Practical advice for having difficult conversations
01:00:00 The importance of sitting with discomfort
01:05:01 Changing societal narratives around gender and work
1 hr 9 min
July 30 Ep 36: What are Human Fathers for? with Dr Anna Machin
Check out my members community: https://www.skool.com/be-a-happier-parent/about
Anna's book is "The Life of Dad" and you can find more about her work here: https://annamachin.com/

content type
Interview

primary goal
Educational

summary
Anna Machin explores the evolution of fatherhood, its biological and social foundations, and how modern environments influence paternal roles. Discover how our ancestors' adaptations shape today's diverse fathering practices and the importance of nurturing, challenge, and co-parenting.

keywords
fatherhood, evolution, parenting, biology, social roles, attachment, hormones, brain plasticity, cultural differences, co-parenting

key topics
The biological origins of fatherhood and its evolution over 500,000 years
The hormonal and neurological changes in new fathers
The diversity of fathering roles across cultures and environments
The importance of co-parenting and relationship quality
The impact of environment and circumstances on paternal behavior
The role of teaching and challenge in building resilience
Attachment theory and the unique role of fathers in emotional development

guest name
Anna Machin

Titles
The Evolution of Fatherhood: From Survival to Nurturing
How Biology and Culture Shape Modern Dads

sound bites
"We are the only ape with this peculiar thing in our line."
"Fathers' primary role is to nurture."
"The brain is very open to experience and plastic."

Chapters
00:00 Introduction to the Evolutionary Roots of Fatherhood
02:40 Early Human Ancestors and the Need for Investing Fathers
05:07 Brain and Hormonal Changes in New Fathers
08:16 The Versatility and Cultural Diversity of Fathering
13:10 Neural Plasticity and the Brain of the Father
19:34 Different Cultural Models of Fatherhood
26:40 Attachment, Challenge, and Resilience in Fathers
31:00 Fathers as Social Scaffolders and Developmental Guides
38:31 Relationship Dynamics and the Impact on Fathers
44:37 Parenting Styles, Self-Regulation, and Breaking Cycles
49:10 The Unique Teaching Role of Fathers
52:34 Hunting, Foraging, and the Evolution of Male Roles
54:23 Supporting Fathers in High-Pressure Environments
resources
Anna Machin - The Life of Dad - https://www.amazon.com/s?k=Anna+Machin+The+Life+of+Dad
Attachment Theory - John Bowlby - https://www.amazon.com/s?k=John+Bowlby+Attachment+Theory
The Strange Situation - Mary Ainsworth - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strange_Situation
Deloitte Events - https://www2.deloitte.com
The Good Mother Myth by Nancy Reddy - https://www.amazon.com/s?k=Nancy+Reddy+The+Good+Mother+Myth

1 hr
July 02 Ep 35: Understanding Maternal Rage with Dr Caroline Boyd
Check out my coaching community! I'm answering questions every day so come and say hi!
https://www.skool.com/be-a-happier-parent/about
Here's Caroline's amazing course: The coupon for £100 discount is SUMMERSUPPORT
https://dr-caroline-boyd.mykajabi.com/mr-signup-autumn-2025
You can find more about Caroline at https://drcarolineboyd.com/

content type
Interview

primary goal
Educational

summary
In this episode, Caroline Boyd and Alex explore the complex emotions of maternal rage, societal expectations, and how understanding these can lead to healthier parenting and relationships. They discuss the cultural myths of the supermum, the impact of patriarchy, and practical ways to navigate anger and self-regulation.

keywords
maternal rage, motherhood, anger, patriarchy, self-regulation, parenting, emotional health, gender roles, mental load, compassion-focused therapy

key topics
The cultural myth of the supermum and its impact
The specific context of maternal rage and societal expectations
The three circles of emotion model from compassion-focused therapy
The influence of patriarchy on motherhood and gender roles
The importance of self-regulation and repair in parenting
The impact of social media on maternal guilt and shame
The connection between anger, grief, and anxiety
Strategies for managing anger and setting boundaries in parenting

guest name
Caroline Boyd

Titles
Unmasking Maternal Rage: Breaking the Supermum Myth
The Hidden Power of Anger in Motherhood

sound bites
"I'm only ever interested in making you look wonderful and clever."
"Anger is often protesting something or protecting vulnerability."
"Repair teaches children that it's okay to mess up and make amends."

Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Maternal Rage
02:03 Understanding Maternal Rage
05:54 The Myth of the Supermum
10:05 The Impact of Patriarchy on Motherhood
13:58 Sources of Maternal Anger
22:07 The Three Circles of Emotion
28:05 Navigating Parenting Dynamics
33:24 Understanding Maternal Anger and Its Roots
36:04 The Complexity of Emotions in Motherhood
38:58 The Interplay of Anger, Grief, and Anxiety
41:50 Cultural Norms and Emotional Expression
49:04 Navigating Conflict in Relationships
52:51 Gentle Parenting: Balancing Emotions and Boundaries
55 min
May 29 Ep 34: Finding a Role for Fathers with Darby Saxbe
Please follow me on Instagram and TikTok @beahappierparent
Full videos of episodes available on YouTube @alexindadland
Couples coaching, contact me: [email protected]
Darby Saxbe is on Instagram @darbysaxbephd

summary
This conversation explores the evolving roles of fathers and mothers, the impact of societal and cultural shifts on parenting, and how to foster healthier family dynamics. It highlights the importance of communication, understanding gender roles, and supporting men in caregiving.

keywords
fatherhood, gender roles, parenting, mental load, maternal gatekeeping, relationship dynamics, cultural shifts, caregiving, masculinity, family health

key topics
Changing roles of fathers and mothers
Impact of societal and cultural shifts on parenting
Maternal gatekeeping and paternal involvement
The emotional and physical transformation of new dads
The importance of communication in parenting partnerships

guest name
Darby Saxbe

Titles
The Future of Fatherhood: Embracing Care and Connection
How Cultural Shifts Are Redefining Parenting Roles

sound bites
"Men are left out of the conversation."
"Fatherhood is transformative for men."
"We need to value care as a society."

Chapters
00:00 The Importance of Dads in Parenting Dynamics
05:15 Transformative Experiences of Fatherhood
07:54 Understanding the Impact of Birth on Fathers
11:12 The Role of Meaning-Making in Parenting
11:41 The Crisis of Transitioning to Parenthood
13:59 Communication as a Key to Relationship Success
17:04 The Unique Role of Fathers in Child Development
19:50 The Evolution of Fatherhood Roles
22:45 The Future of Parenting Dynamics
26:58 The Role of Oxytocin in Parenting
27:52 Cultural Influences on Parenting Styles
30:30 Navigating Parental Expectations and Child Development
31:56 Changing Representations of Fathers in Media
35:52 Evolving Masculinity and Parenting Roles
40:04 The Importance of Male Role Models in Caregiving
43:31 Valuing Care in Society
46:45 Understanding Modern Parenting Challenges
resources
Darby Saxbe's Book on Parenthood and Gender Roles - https://www.amazon.com/Parenthood-Gender-Roles-Darby-Saxbe/dp/XXXXXX
Richard Reeves' Work on Fatherhood and Masculinity - https://www.thelondonreview.com/richard-reeves-fatherhood
Star Wars and Cultural Depictions of Fathers - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXXXXX
The Mandalorian Series - https://www.disneyplus.com/series/the-mandalorian/XXXXXX
Studies on Oxytocin and Parenting - https://www.researchgate.net/publication/XXXXXX

47 min
May 01 Ep 33: Do Less to Be More with Leah Ruppanner
Follow me on Instagram @beahappierparent
Full videos of Eps on YouTube @alexindadland
content type
Interview

primary goal
Educational

summary
This conversation explores social norms, gender roles, mental load, and how they impact women and men in modern life. Leah and Alex discuss empirical research, societal expectations, and practical strategies for creating more balanced and fulfilling lives.

keywords
social norms, gender roles, mental load, household chores, parenting, work-life balance, social expectations, gender equality, emotional labor, societal change

key topics
Empirical evidence on gender differences in perceiving mess
Social penalties for women based on household standards
The role of social norms in shaping behavior and expectations
Strategies for reducing mental load and re-aligning with personal values
The impact of societal expectations on parenting and career choices

guest name
Leah

Titles
Revealing the Hidden Mental Load: How Norms Shape Our Lives
The Messy Truth: Gender, Judgment, and Social Norms

sound bites
"You can't be everything to everyone."
"Resting without guilt is critical for well-being."
"A mother's love is not the only love that matters."

Chapters
00:00 Introduction to the Messy Room Study
04:49 Understanding Gender Norms and Housework
07:34 The Impact of Social Norms on Women
10:42 Challenging Traditional Expectations
13:36 The Burden of Mental Load
16:32 Finding Value Beyond Social Norms
19:27 The Role of Caregiving in Men's Lives
22:17 Redefining Success and Self-Worth
25:26 The Importance of Rest and Self-Care
28:24 Navigating Personal Expectations and Social Pressures
29:54 Understanding Magic Making and Mental Load
32:37 The Emotional Weight of Mental Load
34:15 Navigating Mental Load in Work and Family Life
35:48 The Impact of Gender Norms on Parenting
42:15 The Isolation of Motherhood and Societal Expectations
47:03 Redefining Success in Parenting
51:19 Understanding Mental Load and Its Impact
54:02 Conducting a Mental Load Audit
56:33 Aligning Mental Load with Personal Values
01:00:28 The Spillover Effect of Mental Load
01:05:20 Negotiating Mental Load in Relationships
01:08:28 Overcoming Barriers to Self-Care
resources
Leah's Book: Drained - Reduce Your Mental Load to Do Less and Be More - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CGLV7X7V
Better Life Lab - Articulating the Cost of Tasks - https://www.betterlifelab.org/
Louis Theroux's Manosphere - Netflix Documentary - https://www.netflix.com/title/81254224

1 hr 11 min
March 27 Ep 32: Emotional Masculinity with Matt Salis
Find out more about Matt's work at https://un-toxicated.com/
Please follow me on Instagram and TikTok @beahappierparent
Full videos of the show available on YouTube @alexindadland
content type
Interview

primary goal
Educational

summary
In this insightful interview, Matt Salis explores the evolving concept of emotional masculinity, emphasizing the importance of emotional safety, vulnerability, and resilience in modern relationships and parenting. Discover practical strategies for men to lead with emotional intimacy, create safe environments, and foster stronger family bonds.

keywords
emotional masculinity, emotional safety, vulnerability, parenting, relationships, resilience, emotional intimacy, modern masculinity, family dynamics, mental health

key topics
Redefinition of masculinity in modern society
The importance of emotional safety and vulnerability
Strategies for men to lead with emotional intimacy
Impact of social media and societal changes on family dynamics
Practical steps for creating emotionally safe environments

guest name
Matt Salis

Titles
The New Face of Masculinity: Lead, Provide, Protect with Emotional Safety
How Emotional Safety Transforms Modern Relationships

sound bites
"Lead with emotional intimacy."
"We need good men to make the world safe."
"Women don’t need us for money anymore."

Chapters
00:00 Exploring Emotional Masculinity
06:20 Creating Emotional Safety in Families
10:37 The Impact of Emotional Temperature
17:15 The Need for Emotional Connection
24:04 Research Insights on Emotional Safety
32:02 Evolution of Coaching and Parenting
37:07 Navigating Emotional Masculinity
42:19 The Importance of Vulnerability
48:16 Creating Safe Spaces for Conversations
54:41 Learning from Our Children
resources
Galloway's views on masculinity - https://example.com/galloway-masculinity
Richard Reeves' work on masculinity and society - https://example.com/richard-reeves
Laura McCown on addiction recovery - https://example.com/laura-mccown
The Gottmans on relationship dynamics - https://example.com/gottmans
Alan Sheldon and the Daddying Movement - https://example.com/daddying-movement

1 hr 3 min
February 27Ep 31: Hidden Forces Behind Mothers' Choices with Corinne Low
Check out https://www.corinnelow.com/
Please find me on Instagram and TikTok @beahappierparent
Redefining Gender Roles, Parenthood, and Work-Life Balance: Insights from Corinne Low and Alex Trippier
In this episode, we explore the evolving roles of men and women in relationships, workplaces, and parenting. Corinne Low shares her research and perspectives on how societal norms, biological factors, and economic forces shape our expectations and realities, offering actionable ideas for creating more equitable and fulfilling lives.
Key Topics:
How biological and societal pressures influence women's career choices and perceived fairness
The impact of structural barriers on women's earnings and career progression, even when individual effort is high
The changing landscape of fatherhood and how increased involvement is transforming family dynamics
The importance of early conversations and proactive planning to prevent resentment and strengthen relationships
Rethinking success, gender norms, and the language around provider and protector roles
The role of policy, workplace culture, and social norms in supporting gender equality
Evidence from research on negotiation, gender traits, and workplace diversity
How to foster environments where vulnerability, conversation, and shared responsibilities flourish
Timestamps:
00:00 - Introduction: Breaking down societal and biological influences on gender roles
02:15 - The gender wage gap: structural barriers beyond individual choices
04:50 - Evolutionary biology and short-term decision-making in motherhood
07:20 - Impact of corporate policies and cultural norms on women's careers
09:40 - The structural constraints faced by top earners and working mothers
12:00 - The emotional labor and societal expectations placed on women at home
13:30 - The persistence of gender defaults and the importance of shared responsibilities
16:00 - How divorce laws and social reforms have shifted gender roles and labor distribution
18:10 - Rethinking workplace culture: boundaries, flexibility, and talent retention
20:30 - The importance of diverse traits and negotiation styles in the workplace
23:15 - Strategies for men to participate more fully in domestic life and caregiving
26:45 - The power of conversations early in relationships to foster partnership
29:10 - The transformation of fatherhood in recent decades
32:40 - The social and economic forces shaping parenting and education investments
36:00 - Challenging societal anxiety about outdoor play and safety
39:00 - The necessity of self-care and mental health for effective parenting
43:00 - Redefining masculinity: protection and provider roles as supportive, not obligatory
45:20 - How shared lived experiences and friendships indicate relationship strength
48:05 - Practical steps for supporting partners through life's challenges
50:10 - The future of gender norms: policy, culture, and individual action
53:15 - Research on gender traits and negotiation: moving beyond stereotypes
58:05 - Overcoming economic and social barriers to gender equality in family life
61:05 - Creating supportive workplace environments for parents
65:00 - Closing thoughts: Building a world where partnership and shared success thrive
Resources & Links:
Corinne Low - LinkedIn
Corinne Low - Personal Website
Book recommendations on gender equality and parental roles
Research on negotiation styles
Study on gender wage gap and career progression
Connect with Corinne Low:
LinkedIn
Twitter
Website
This episode offers valuable insights for parents, policymakers, workplace leaders, and anyone interested in building equitable family and work environments. Don't miss the practical advice on fostering meaningful conversations that can transform relationships and organizational cultures.
1 hr 5 min
January 29 Ep 30: The Stories We Tell Our Children with Francesca Cavallo
You can find Francesca on Instagram @francescatherebel
Find me on Instagram and TikTok @beahappier parent
Full episodes available with video on YouTube @alexindadland

Keywords
masculinity, gender equality, emotional intelligence, storytelling, consent, inner exploration, male solidarity, emotional isolation, redefining heroism, children's literature

Summary
In this conversation, Francesca Cavallo discusses the need for new narratives around masculinity, emphasizing the importance of exploring inner worlds and emotional intelligence. She critiques traditional masculinity and the isolation it creates, advocating for a redefinition that includes kindness, consent, and emotional connection. Through storytelling, she aims to inspire boys to embrace vulnerability and build healthy relationships, while also addressing the societal pressures that lead to emotional detachment. The discussion highlights the role of literature in shaping perceptions of masculinity and the necessity of male solidarity in fostering a compassionate society.

Takeaways
Francesca Cavallo emphasizes the need for new narratives in masculinity.
Boys should be encouraged to explore their inner worlds through fiction.
Consent should be taught as a skill, not a suspicion.
Emotional isolation is a significant issue for men today.
Redefining heroism involves kindness and vulnerability, not dominance.
Stories shape our understanding of gender roles and expectations.
Male solidarity can prevent violence and promote emotional health.
Boys need to learn that rejection is a part of life and can be survived.
Looking back at one's past is crucial for personal growth.
The future of masculinity should focus on mutual liberation rather than competition.

Titles
Redefining Masculinity: A New Narrative
Exploring Inner Worlds: The Future of Boys

Sound bites
"We must make the patriarchy obsolete."
"Consent is a skill we need to teach."
"We are our brother's keepers."

Chapters
00:00 Empowering Narratives: Rebel Girls and Boys
07:57 Redefining Masculinity: Inner Exploration vs. Outer Heroism
12:41 The Role of Fairy Tales in Shaping Gender Expectations
18:46 The Crisis of Masculinity: Emotional Needs and Societal Expectations
26:36 The Future of Masculinity: Building New Narratives
28:42 Rites of Passage: Understanding Masculinity Across Cultures
35:53 The Importance of Physical Comfort
37:19 Exploring the Need for Touch
38:22 Pirates and Masculinity
39:27 Redefining Consent
43:56 The Role of Rejection in Relationships
46:48 The Blue Planet: Fatherhood and Vulnerability
01:01:11 The Junk Planet: Reconnecting with Inner Child
01:09:54 Rituals and the Future of Masculinity
1 hr 12 min
December 19, 2025 Ep 29: Why is she the only one thinking about it? with Allison Daminger
Check out Allison's website https://www.allisondaminger.com/
follow me on Instagram and TikTok @beahappierparent
Full videos of episodes available on YouTube @alexindadland
Keywords
parenting, cognitive labor, mental load, gender roles, household dynamics, essentialism, couples, equity, caregiving, family responsibilities

Summary
In this conversation, Allison Daminger discusses the complexities of parenting, cognitive labor, and the persistent gender roles that influence household dynamics. She explores the concept of cognitive labor as the mental work involved in managing household responsibilities, highlighting the emotional burdens that often accompany these tasks. The discussion delves into personal essentialism, the impact of societal expectations on gender roles, and the challenges couples face in achieving equitable divisions of labor. Daminger emphasizes the importance of intentionality and communication in navigating these dynamics, offering insights into how couples can work towards a more balanced partnership.

Takeaways
Allison Daminger's research stems from her curiosity about parenting.
Cognitive labor involves anticipating needs and managing household tasks.
The brain's tendency to ping with unresolved tasks adds to mental load.
Gender roles still heavily influence household responsibilities.
Personal essentialism complicates the understanding of gendered labor.
Couples often fall into patterns that reflect societal expectations.
Skill-building in household tasks can shift gendered expectations.
Emotional burdens like guilt affect how parents manage responsibilities.
Couples can achieve equity by adjusting on the margins of their roles.
Understanding the historical context of gender roles is crucial for change.

Titles
The Hidden Work of Parenting
Cognitive Labor: The Mental Load of Parenthood

Sound bites
"The brain hates unclosed loops."
"We expect women to care the most."
"We can adjust on the margins."

Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Cognitive Labor
04:50 Understanding Cognitive Labor and Mental Load
07:34 The Process of Cognitive Labor
10:22 Measuring Cognitive Labor
13:35 Personal Essentialism and Gender Roles
16:27 The Superhero and the Bumbler
19:29 Social Pressures and Accountability
22:32 The Impact of Historical Context on Gender Roles
25:30 Judgment and Expectations in Parenting
28:26 Conclusion and Reflections on Cognitive Labor
29:56 Anticipation of Judgment and Consequences
31:16 Gendered Expectations in Household Roles
32:59 Skill-Building and Gendered Narratives
35:52 Hope for Change in Household Dynamics
37:35 The Complexity of Same-Sex Relationships
38:37 Intentionality in Division of Labor
41:57 Status and Perception of Caregiving
44:30 Cognitive vs. Physical Work in Households
46:54 The Root of Responsibility in Parenting
50:40 Moving Towards Equity in Household Tasks
59 min

About Be a Happier Parent

From the publisher's feed

Why is there such a huge gap between what we think parenting is going to be like and what it actually is? Why when we have children do we think it’s going to bring us closer together but often it really pushes us apart? What are the jobs of mums and dads now? What’s a dad when we’re no longer just providers? What’s a mum when they often are? What am I supposed to teach or model for my children when I’ve no idea what the world is going to look like in five years time?

Best of Be a Happier Parent

Ranked by our users in the last 21 days

Number 1: Ep 38: Parents with ADHD with Erica Djossa
Oct 1357 min
Number 2: Ep 37: Demand More with Laura Danger
Sep 141 hr 9 min
Number 3: Ep 32: Emotional Masculinity with Matt Salis
Mar 271 hr 3 min
Number 4: Ep 15: Teenagers and the Wonder and Delight of Uncertainty with Rachel Kelly
Sep 4, 202555 min
Number 5: Ep 11: The Big Gender Gap with Rowan Whitehead
Jul 24, 202558 min

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Best of Be a Happier Parent