Be Here Now Network

Illuminating the subtle but crucial difference between codependence and compassion, Jack outlines how to set boundaries and live from our unique truth.

Today's podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Click to receive 10% off your first month with your own licensed professional therapist: betterhelp.com/heartwisdom

"Codependence means being an accomplice, a kind of complicity with someone who's acting in a self-destructive way, being dependent on their behavior, or supporting it somehow for your own security." – Jack Kornfield

In this episode, Jack sheds mindful light on:

- The subtle but crucial difference between compassion and codependence

- Trying to fix it or save someone instead of allowing them to taste the fruits of their karmas

- Feeling locked into supporting someone's destructive behavior

- The lack of feeling secure leading to needing to over-control

- Needing to fix someone else's problems because we can't live with it in ourself

- How we are all accomplices to a codependent society

- Mother Teresa and seeking to love the world instead of trying to fix it

- The necessity of balancing compassion practice with equanimity practice

- The spiritual importance of disharmony and the value of suffering

Boundaries and the ability to say "no"

- Ownership, possessiveness, and the trouble with believing our roles

- The Bhagavad Gita and acting from our hearts without attachment to the fruit of the action

- Living our our unique truth amidst the mystery

Want to learn how to follow the Buddha’s path to freedom in the modern world? Sign up for Jack’s new online course Walking the Eightfold Path with Jack Kornfield beginning March 18, here: https://bit.ly/JackPath

"We are all heirs to our own karma, we have created our own lives. We can love and assist others, but in the end, no one can create a life for someone else, no one can change another person's fate. We are the ones that create what will happen for us." – Jack Kornfield

"Can we seek to love the world instead of trying to fix it? It is possible to be in a codependent relationship with the ills of the society, so we have to start looking within ourselves. What does it mean to do good? Mother Teresa taught in her work in Calcutta in the death and dying centers, 'We're not social workers. Our work is not to take people off the streets and clothes them and feed them. The government could do that. Our work is to bring to the people that we touch the spirit and the love of God that has touched us. The rest of it is just the vehicle to communicate that spirit.' It's a very different way of approaching solving a problem.'" – Jack Kornfield

This Dharma Talk from 9/1/1989 at was originally published on DharmaSeed.

Dan Harris & Sharon Salzberg – Metta Hour Podcast Ep. 234 by Be Here Now Network

Exploring mental constructs, Gil Fronsdal describes how we construct the relationships to our experiences.

This recording from the Insight Meditation Center was originally published on Dharmaseed.org

On this episode of the BHNN Guest Podcast, Gil Fronsdal talks about these topics:

A four line Buddhist chant in Pali

The impermanence of all constructed things

Mindfulness and the practice of noticing

Exploring one’s relationship to the present moment

Moving our attention with a deliberate calmness

Meditation instruction as the antidote to relating negatively

Our attitudes and how they affect our experiences

Non-reactive awareness in order to avoid new constructions

Identity and the stories we tell about ourselves

Allowing “I am” to stand by itself

About Gil Fronsdal:

Gil Fronsdal is the co-teacher for the Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, California; he has been teaching since 1990. He has practiced Zen and Vipassana in the U.S. and Asia since 1975. He was a Theravada monk in Burma in 1985, and in 1989 began training with Jack Kornfield to be a Vipassana teacher. Gil teaches at Spirit Rock Meditation Center where he is part of its Teachers Council. Gil was ordained as a Soto Zen priest at the San Francisco Zen Center in 1982, and in 1995 received Dharma Transmission from Mel Weitsman, the abbot of the Berkeley Zen Center. He currently serves on the SF Zen Center Elders’ Council. In 2011 he founded IMC’s Insight Retreat Center. Gil has an undergraduate degree in agriculture from U.C. Davis where he was active in promoting the field of sustainable farming. In 1998 he received a PhD in Religious Studies from Stanford University studying the earliest developments of the bodhisattva ideal. He is the author of The Issue at Hand, essays on mindfulness practice; A Monastery Within; a book on the five hindrances called Unhindered; and the translator of The Dhammapada, published by Shambhala Publications. You may listen to Gil’s talks on Audio Dharma.

“To quiet these constructions is happiness. To be able to question these things, and slowly perhaps, maybe even imperceptibly, to allow these constructs to calm down, relax, not buy into them as much. Maybe not buy into them as much because we notice them.” – Gil Fronsdal

Whether it is Christ, a guru, a loved one, or neighbor, RamDev helps us find the object of our devotion in each passing moment.

In this episode of Healing at the Edge, RamDev explains:

The inner and outer guru

Letting go of identification with suffering

Seeing the forest versus getting lost in the trees

The grace within devotion

How our psychological integration determines what level of intimacy we will have with God

Inhabiting the body and opening the heart

Worshiping God in every form

Conscious grieving and deepening devotion

Spaciousness and non-grasping as an antidote to fear

“The guru isn’t just something outside that we’re in relationship with. Its everything, it’s the whole universe. And, it’s the practitioner. It’s you, it’s me. It’s not something that’s only there when we’re feeling holy and sacred. Suppose you’re saying a mantra, you’re saying ram ram ram. From the standpoint of tantra, each time you say ram, it is ram. Each time you look in the mirror, it is ram. Each time you look at your partner or your child or your neighbor, it is ram. It is the mother.” – RamDev

Sharing spiritual wisdom on meditation, abundance, intimacy, and the astral body, Jack helps us cultivate the courage to recognize truth.

Want to learn how to follow the Buddha’s path to freedom in the modern world? Sign up for Jack’s new online course Walking the Eightfold Path with Jack Kornfield beginning March 18!

"In one important sense, meditation is an exercise in truth, an exercise in opening to what is true, to what is here in front of in the most direct and obvious ways." – Jack Kornfield

In this episode, Jack compassionately illuminates:

- Meditation as an exercise in truth

- Jesus and the Buddha following their deepest inner truths

- Dharma and direct seeing from the heart

- Buddhism's three characteristics of life: impermanence, suffering, selflessness

- Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche's view on the rebirth of our bad habits

- The difference between our physical 'fear body' we inhabit during the day, versus our expansive 'astral body' we expand into at night

- Mindfulness, spaciousness, and Buddha Nature

- Abundance and intimacy in spirituality

- The 16th Karmapa as the Dharma King

- A beautiful (and funny) story of an end-of-life guided meditation

"Somebody asked Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, the Tibetan Lama, 'If there's no self, what is it that is reborn in Buddhism?' He smiled and said, 'I hate to tell you this, but what's reborn is your bad habits.'" – Jack Kornfield

"To note what's present is the first task. The second task is to see or sense what happens to it. These are both important. So, sadness comes and you note, 'Ah, here's the feeling of sadness.' And then you name it for a while, you stay with it and see what it does, 'Sad...sad...sad.' Maybe you name it five to ten times and it disappears. Then itching comes and you name, 'Itching...itching...' You don't just name it and hurry back to your breath. You name it and see what it does, 'Itching...itching.' Then, it spreads and your whole face is tingling, 'Tinging...tingling... I'm gonna die if I don't scratch this... Dying...dying...' Then if you stay with it, dying passes, tingling passes, itching passes. If you let yourself stay with things, naming them as long as they are there and seeing them happen, they show their true nature—which is to arise, change, and pass." – Jack Kornfield

This Dharma Talk from 7/11/1990 at was originally published on DharmaSeed.

In this essential talk from 1987, Ram Dass uses his life experience to guide us through the process of taking off our spacesuit of identity and embracing the curriculum our lives offer us.

Want to be part of the discussion about this episode of Here and Now? Join us for the SoulPod Meet-Up on February 27th at 3 pm EST.

This episode of Here and Now is from a classic talk given in April 1987.

Using his journey as a guide for this talk, Ram Dass explores the spacesuits of ego and identity we wear in our lives. He tells us how ill-fitting this spacesuit felt for him, and the feeling of freedom he found when he was first able to take it off.

Ram Dass describes how he began to chase the high of not wearing the spacesuit through the use of mind-altering chemicals and spiritual practices. Eventually, though, those things became a different kind of suit he was wearing. Through the advice of a wise friend, he realized he needed to take the curriculum that everyday life has to offer and not just live with his head in the clouds.

Once the object of the game shifted from getting high to getting free, Ram Dass chose to stop pushing away all of the things that brought him down. Instead, he embraced the many forms of suffering in the world, working with prisoners, AIDS patients, and people going through the process of dying. To get free, we need to embrace it all, the good and the bad.

“As I took off the suit, I felt at home, I felt present. It felt extremely familiar to me, even though as an adult in society I didn’t remember having been in this space before. I was always constantly checking everybody to see if I was enough ‘somebody’ so that I would be allowed to exist.” – Ram Dass

Illuminating the deepening levels of spiritual practice, Jack explores how to let life breathe while setting your heart on gold.

Today's podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Click to receive 10% off your first month with your own licensed professional therapist: betterhelp.com/heartwisdom

“What we’re doing in practice is feeling the actuality of how life is pulsing, moving, flowing and swirling, fast and slow, rhythmically, within our own body, within our own direct experience.” – Jack Kornfield

In this episode, Jack mindfully explores:

- How to let life breathe while setting your heart on gold

- The importance of balancing our concentration, effort, and equanimity

- How the quality of presence can help the gold of the heart and mind shine

- Riding the body’s rhythm of breath as our main focus of attention and rest

- To feel of how life is pulsing, moving, and flowing through our experience

- Working with our loneliness, suffering, grief, fear, and longings

- Awakening into the present moment to see past the body of fear

- How recognizing spaciousness and impermanence helps us overcome our difficulties

- The power of trust, letting go, and letting life breathe

“People sometimes feel like it’s not worth it to practice. In the beginning it seems like you’re here 2% of the time, but if you continue and look honestly, you might be here 4% of the time. In one way, that’s discouraging statistically that you’re off 96%, but in another way it says you are now here alive and present twice as much as you were two days ago.” – Jack Kornfield

“The insight into the true path comes when we discover that we’re not trying to hold onto a single thing, not a perception, not a pleasant experience, not the calm of meditation—those are all parts of the waves of experience that rise and pass in space. The idea isn’t to hold your breath when you get something good to see how long it can stay, that doesn’t work very well. The idea is to let all of life breath. As we do, we let go moment by moment, more fully. We learn to trust, like the goldsmith, blowing on it, sprinkling water, softening, cooling, and a lot of time just giving presence so it’s beauty can start to show.” – Jack Kornfield

This episode from 10/09/1983 at Insight Meditation Society was originally published on DharmaSeed.

For episode 233, Dr. Jenny Taitz returns to the Metta Hour. Jenny is a clinical psychologist and an assistant clinical professor in psychiatry at the University of California, Los Angeles.

Jenny completed her fellowship in psychology at Yale University School of Medicine and achieved board certifications in cognitive behavioral therapy and dialectical behavior therapy. In addition to treating clients in her private therapy practice, LA CBT DBT, she is the author of How to Be Single and Happy and End Emotional Eating. Her new book, Stress Resets: How to Soothe Your Body and Mind in Minutes, is now available in paperback, ebook, and audiobook formats.

In this episode, Sharon and Jenny discuss:

- Jenny’s new book, Stress Resets

- Acute versus chronic stress

- Learning how to put stress down

- The distinction between stress and trauma

- How stress affects the body

- Preventing a stress snowball

- Cultivating agency in dealing with stress

- The role of acceptance in stress

- Working with causes and conditions

- Stress resets versus stress buffers

- Emotions come in waves

- Coherent breathing

- Creating an anti-depressant lifestyle

- Jenny closes the conversation with a guided mindfulness practice.

You can learn more about Jenny’s work and get a copy of her new book, Stress Resets, on her website: https://drjennytaitz.com/

Nina Rao and Chandra Easton join Raghu to talk about embodying the goddess Tara through chanting.

Interested in seeing Nina and Chandra? Here are two upcoming events on the East Coast: Tibet House, NYC, May 11 and Kripalu, MA, May 12-17

Raghu, Nina, and Chandra spend this episode discussing:

Chandra’s Buddhist upbringing

The deity Tara and the sacred feminine

Nina and Chandra’s collaboration with chanting and mantras

An acapella chant offered from Nina

Tara for harmony

Tantra and spirituality for the people

The 21 praises to Tara

Durga, Saraswati, and other feminine deities we can invoke through mantras

The eighth Tara as a fierce and invincible embodiment

The mara of doubt

About Nina Rao:

Nina Rao is a devotional singer. She tours with Krishna Das, playing cymbals, singing, and acting as his business manager. Nina has two of her own albums, “Antarayaami – Knower of All Hearts” and “Anubhav”. Nina regularly leads kirtan, workshops, and retreats in her hometown of Brooklyn, New York and beyond. Together with Chandra and Genevieve Walker, Nina operates the 21 Taras Collective. You can keep up with Nina on her website or find her on Instagram @nina_rao and on Facebook @NinaRaoChant.

About Chandra Easton:

Chandra Easton is a teacher, scholar, practitioner, and translator of Tibetan Buddhism. She has taught Buddhism and Hatha Yoga since 2001. In 2015, she was given the title of Vajra Teacher, Dorje Lopön, for Tara Mandala Retreat Center by Lama Tsultrim Allione and H. E. Gochen Sang Ngag Rinpoche. Seeking to bring forth the voice of the empowered feminine in Buddhism, Lopön Chandra regularly leads retreats and classes on Tara for various organizations, develops programs and curricula for Tara Mandala, and teaches nationally and internationally. She has also co-written melodies and recorded music for the twenty-one-Taras mantras found in her new book, Embodying Tara: Twenty-One Manifestations to Awaken Your Innate Wisdom. You can find Chandra on Instagram & Facebook @loponchandra.

“The main purpose of doing this aspect of the 21 Tara’s practice through chanting and more of a kirtan style is to uplift people, just like kirtan does. To bring joy, open people’s heart to the blessings of these Taras and to Devi and to the universal way. And also to help them remember the mantra, because some of them are pretty long they can be a little challenging to remember.” – Chandra Easton

Wrapping the world in the heart of loving kindness, Jack offers a meditation to help us into presence, relaxation, & loving awareness.

Jack originally shared this guided meditation for the Spirit Rock Monday Night Dharma Talk and Meditation. If you would like to join Jack online for his next livestream, register at http://go.spiritrock.org/SR021924

"Living in loving kindness opens the doorway to happiness and joy." – Jack Kornfield

In this episode, Jack leads a guided meditation to help us:

- Enter into presence, relaxation, kindness, and loving awareness

- Wrap the world and our experiences in the heart of loving kindness

- Learn what it feels like to truly wish well for others and yourself

- Use the power of our imagination to visualize and experience transformative blessings

- Gradually and incrementally extend our metta to encapsulate all sentient beings

- Offer our hearts and direct our loving kindness to those suffering throughout the world

- Take the "advanced class" by extending our metta to those causing suffering

- Listen to our intuition and allow our heart to direct itself

- Live in happiness and joy, and bring loving kindness to all we touch

"Extend the feeling of loving kindness across the world, to those in difficulty, the families the children who are fleeing danger in so many places—Myanmar, Sudan, Ukraine, Gaza, Palestine, Israel—across the world. You picture them—the families the children—and send rays of love, metta, and strength, 'May you be safe and protected, may you find ease and graciousness, may you be held in loving kindness, and in whatever ways you can, may you be happy.'" – Jack Kornfield