Be Refreshed

Two episodes ago we heard from Randy’s adult kids (and, yes, there’s more to come from them). In this episode, we shift and listen to what the SPOUSES of those kids have to say about moving into a new family…

Remember, we all make decisions and “do things” based on how we were raised. That not only includes us BUT ALSO includes our spouses. They come to each of us with a different background, different parenting styles having been poured into them, and unique experiences…

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So, here we dialogue about their first impressions of the Pardue family.

And we listen to them talk about the culture in the home.

And we see what happens when you begin merging cultures together… integrating them to effectively create new households.

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By the way, the spouses (read: Randy and Tammy’s kids) were not in the room when this talk was happening.

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Most of the speakers identify themselves in real time as they talk, but for reference here’s the overview:

Courtney is married to Jarod, the oldest (2 girls, one special needs)

Brent is married to Abby, Randy & Tammy’s only daughter (4 kids)

Kristen is married to Eric (3 boys)

Rachel is married to Jackson (1 boy)

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Next steps

To learn more about Randy’s parenting resources, go to www.BeRefreshed.org/family 

For specific opportunities for grandparents, visit www.BeRefreshed.org/GP 

Take the assessment (for you AND your kids) at www.BeRefreshed.org/4 

For the “Diapers to Dorms” audiobook, go to www.BeRefreshed.org/D2D 

Parenting happens by design or default. And, honestly, it’s easier— though it seems more difficult— to do it with a plan.

But doing it with a plan requires a few things.

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First, you must recognize that PEOPLE are different— including you and your spouse. You’re both parenting from some background (see episode 1) that you need to acknowledge.

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Second, every kid has a unique PERSONALITY.

Even though they grow up in the same house with the same expectations and the same ethics and same economic conditions and same educational opportunities…

… you quickly learn they are individuals.

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Third, PARENTING is an art…

… and it’s easier to do if you match it to each kids’ Divine design.

Knowing how God designed them— and working with that Divine design— helps you know how to serve them and nurture them into who God designed them to be.

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Next steps

To learn more about Randy’s parenting resources, go to www.BeRefreshed.org/family 

For specific opportunities for grandparents, visit www.BeRefreshed.org/GP 

Take the assessment (for you AND your kids) at www.BeRefreshed.org/4 

For the “Diapers to Dorms” audiobook, go to www.BeRefreshed.org/D2D 

We continue with Randy’s discussion with his adult kids…

In this episode they walk about what it was like growing up as a pastor’s child, as well as some of the memories they have about trusting God for things like fixing cars when you really want to go to the circus.

And, ultimately, it all comes down to this…

👉 Being present matters more than you think, because that’s what the adult version of your kids remember

👉 Being present enables you to teach the lessons of life that you can’t impart in any other way….

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Next steps

To learn more about Randy’s parenting resources, go to www.BeRefreshed.org/family 

For specific opportunities for grandparents, visit www.BeRefreshed.org/GP 

Take the assessment (for you AND your kids) at www.BeRefreshed.org/4 

For the “Diapers to Dorms” audiobook, go to www.BeRefreshed.org/D2D 

It’s easy to talk about parenting. What’s NOT easy is to parent.

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As part of rolling out the parenting (and grand-parenting) resources, Randy decided to get his kids sense of things…

Here’s the setup…

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Every year they take a family beach trip—

👉 Randy & Tammy

👉 Their four adult kids

👉 Their grandkids

This year (and, yes, he warned them in advance), he asked the kids if he could interview them for the new podcast and just get their take on things.

So, while spouses and grandkids went to the beach and played in the other room(s), they turned on the mic and just talked…

Here’s what’s interesting—

The kids often remember life better (so there’s grace) and differently (so there’s some humor) than we do.

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Here’s who you’ll hear (and they’ll all identify themselves as they talk)—

Jarod, the oldest, married to Courtney (2 girls, one special needs)

Abby, married to Brent (3 boys, 1 girl)

Eric, married to Kristen, now the middle son but has over a decade on the youngest son (3 boys)

Jackson, the youngest, married to Rachel (1 boy)

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Next steps

To learn more about Randy’s parenting resources, go to www.BeRefreshed.org/family 

For specific opportunities for grandparents, visit www.BeRefreshed.org/GP 

Take the assessment (for you AND your kids) at www.BeRefreshed.org/4 

For the “Diapers to Dorms” audiobook, go to www.BeRefreshed.org/D2D 

Back before the world shut down for Covid (half a decade ago!), we hosted a parenting workshop, pulling together all of our best ideas from a few decades of taking our best shot at it.

The difference for us was… well, as we discuss in this episode, we got a second chance to “get it right.” With an almost-empty nest, we found out we had another baby on the way.

We catalogued some of our mistakes, made a few inputs about things we could do better, and applied the lessons we learned….

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One of the biggest lessons?

The time goes by so fast. Sure, the days seem long, but the weeks begin feeling shorter and shorter…

… and the years just seem to blur.

In time, we awaken to the reality that while they’re in the house, the kids are our primary assignment. And, it’s not just about managing them, disciplining them, and shuttling them around from activity to activity (even though there is a lot of that), it’s about making them better humans.

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Here’s the reality.

You parent “out of” how you were raised. Either you’ll extend those lessons, or you’ll react to them.

However, it’s important to recognize what we all “carry,” so that we can affirm what we want to keep, adjust what we don’t want to maintain, and then move forward…

In other words, we want to parent by design instead of default.

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Here’s why it matters…

When you’re parenting, you’re ALWAYS teaching…

… and the choices you make, the way you handle everyday decisions, and the way you manage your kids mistakes ALWAYS impart lessons to them.

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Next steps

To learn more about Randy’s parenting resources, go to www.BeRefreshed.org/family 

For specific opportunities for grandparents, visit www.BeRefreshed.org/GP 

Take the assessment (for you AND your kids) at www.BeRefreshed.org/4 

For the “Diapers to Dorms” audiobook, go to www.BeRefreshed.org/D2D