I came to realize as I began my teaching career that my students, other teachers, and even the parents I worked with were caught up with the trials of life and couldn’t focus on academic tasks. Teachers and society in general started believing that people with these shortcomings had ADD. I know I had some pieces missing, and I definitely wasn’t the sum of my parts. My students had pieces missing; their parents had pieces missing; and many other people had some pieces missing. What were these missing pieces?

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My dad and mom owned a bar so at a very early age it became very easy for me to be around people who drank all the time. From the time I was a kid I thought that the whole world drank and got drunk. My dad was a binge drinker and he would go of on a bender every six months or so. He would be gone from one to three days. I always asked my mom where dad slept when he was gone and she would say in the car. I wasn’t sure who drove who crazier, mom or dad. Dad would drink and drive mom nuts, but when dad was sober mom would say things to dad to get under his skin. So I wasn’t sure if mom drove dad to drink or dad’s drinking drove my mom to make those comments. I didn’t really drink as a teenager but started to drink when I go married the first time. I drank a lot during the summer, and when I bar tended at a restaurant in South  NJ. As I became unhappy in my marriage I drank more and more until my drinking got a little out of control and I became frightened of my own behavior and my thoughts. If you want to discover a whole lot about an illness or a condition all you have to do is get it or think that you have it and you will start to read all there is to read about it in books, magazines, online or any place you can find the info. I came across this acronym in a book, ACOA. What the hell does this mean? Well it means Adult Child of an Alcoholic. I read more and discovered that somebody hooked a bunch of symptoms to the conditions, 13 to be exact. What an unlucky number.

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When young people make it a habit to drink in order to deal with problems they have socially,  their emotions to go dormant at the age that they started to drink, which then prevents them from maturing emotionally. Drinking becomes their social and emotional coping mechanism. These young people do not experience the natural growing pains that must be gone through where they learn how to interact with others on their own, without using the alcohol to help them. Natural growing pains that are part of the maturation process should not be avoided or salved by the use of alcohol because the alcohol or any other addictive substance will only retard their maturity or cause it to never be developed.

Victims of bullying avoid social situations for fear of being harassed, intimidated and bullied. As adults we need to keep a keen eye on those young adults who are being victimized and watch for any signs of addiction. They need our help.

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After WWII a new kind of generation was born in the United States. Because of the after effects of the World War II, the United States experienced an economical boom, which resulted in high income jobs, and unemployment rates were non-existent. Education was also enhanced by the government and universities and colleges were prompting people to get a college degree. Education was cheap, and was readily available. In fact, many took college courses to open up higher paying job opportunities Because of this lifestyle; many people became financially secure. This financial freedom allowed people have more children. There was a significant increase in birth rates. People who were born within this period are called baby boomers. Baby boomers were born between the years of 1946-1964.

To me it seems like things really changed during this generation. Dr Spock came along, and his book became a child rearing bible for many people. Parents changed their approach to raising their children. It started to become in vogue for parents to be less authoritarian and more liberal in raising their children. The result? The baby boomers themselves took this to an extreme when they began to have children themselves. They took this more liberal mentality and kicked it up a huge notch. Baby boomer parents believed that their babies and then their children had the right to decide everything. This included when they got fed, what they wanted to eat, what they wanted to wear, and what they wanted to say and do. Everything became the idea that children had the right to choose.

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· Every individual has the right to be spared oppression and repeated, intentional humiliation, in school and in society at large.

· Bullying is a precursor to greater and more dangerous violence, and it fosters intense misery among students.

There is never, ever any reason for someone to be bullied. This episode covers the top reasons why some kids are bullied. It gives you the top 5 in grades 4-8 and in grades 8-12. 

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Have you ever wondered why your parents did some of the things that they did. I did lots of times. My dad had so many regimented activities that I thought he had a screw lose or something. I’m only going to talk about two here because there are too many to put into one episode. I really spent time observing my dad as a kid and listening to him as well, and it wasn’t until I was about forty that I realized some of the benefits of his behavior and very recently some of the real benefits of his behavior.

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Those who have difficulty scholastically can be viewed as someone who has focus issues or maybe even ADHD. That isn't always the case. Problems with authority, parents, insecurities, and the inability to handle conflict and confrontations all play a part in a person's inability to succeed academically.  When looking at the problem of bullying it becomes obvious that the inability to focus is related to childhood trauma that impacts a child in a variety of ways. We need to take a closer look at how bullying affects a child's achievement. 

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When kids play they learn how to solve problems and resolve conflict on their own. Conflict and confrontations are just part of life and when kids are allowed to work things out it builds confidence and courage moving forward, and it gives them a leg up in a very competitive world.

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Tyler Flach has been arrested and charged in the stabbing death last week in New York of Khaseen Morris, who died surrounded by a crowd of students taking cellphone video of the attack as he bled out on the ground. You read that right. It was reported that there were between 50-70 people who people who were BYSTANDERS in this horrific. event. If you hear it or you see it you own it. Let's see who will come forward and turn over their phones.

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Sometimes it's good to be alone, and we all need that from time to time. Loneliness is another story, and the victims of bullying have self excluded themselves because of the fear of being bullied and the experience of being betrayed by those that they thought were friends. Loneliness can produce hopelessness and depression. As parents and teachers we have to be aware of the symptoms of loneliness and help our children and students begin to realize that they do have a purpose in this world and that they truly can connect with others. 

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