Be Solid Learning

When your child melts down, snaps at you, or says something is “stupid,” what is really going on? In this month’s Family Conversation, Bridget Barrus, LMSW, shares the story of her daughter’s meltdown before a school award ceremony and what she found underneath it. She explains why parents so often misread their kids, what can sit underneath hard behavior at every age from 4 to 18, and how understanding a behavior works together with accountability.

You’ll learn Look Underneath, three questions to ask yourself before you respond:

1. What happened right before?
2. What might they be feeling or needing?
3. What skill don’t they have yet?

Free download: the 2-Minute SOLID Reset at besolidlearning.com. Sign up and you’ll also get Solid Ground, Bridget’s weekly family tips.

This podcast is for education and support. It is not therapy or a substitute for individual professional care.

What if helping your child too much is actually making you more necessary?

As parents, we're good at solving problems. We remember, remind, organize, fix, step in, and smooth things over—usually because we love our kids and genuinely want to help.

But there's a catch:

We want capable kids, and capability develops through practice.

If we're always doing the remembering, thinking, fixing, and solving, who is actually getting the practice?

In this Be Solid in 10, Bridget explores the difference between supporting our kids and accidentally taking over the work they need to learn to do themselves.

You'll learn one simple three-step skill:

PAUSE → HAND IT BACK → SUPPORT

PAUSE: Ask yourself, “Is this mine to solve—or theirs to practice?”

HAND IT BACK: Instead of immediately giving the answer, ask, “What do you think you could do?”

SUPPORT: Stay available without taking over by asking, “What do you need from me?”

Because eventually, our kids turn 18...and then 25...and eventually 40.

The goal isn't to raise kids who never need us. It's to raise increasingly capable people who know how to think, choose, solve problems, recover, and ask for help appropriately—while knowing we're still firmly in their corner.

Work yourself out of the job. Not out of the relationship.

🎧 About Be Solid in 10: Short, practical conversations that take one real family challenge and give you one useful perspective and one skill you can actually use.

Stay grounded. Keep growing. Be SOLID.

What if five minutes and three simple questions could help you know a little more about what's actually happening in your child's world?

In our first Be Solid in 10, Bridget shares a simple family check-in you can try tonight:

What was good?
What was hard?
What do you need tomorrow?

Good. Hard. Need.

It isn't a formal family meeting, and it definitely doesn't need to become another parenting project. It's a small, practical way to create space for connection, help kids notice what they're experiencing, and begin thinking about what they need next.

And there's one important rule for parents: don't turn their answers into a lecture.

Because sometimes the best way to get our kids talking isn't to ask more questions—it's to make it safer for them to answer.

Ten minutes won't change your family. But something you practice for ten minutes might.

Stay grounded. Keep growing. Be SOLID.

We all want to raise kids who are kind, capable, responsible, resilient, and able to handle real life. But here's the question: How exactly do kids develop those things?

In the first episode of the Be Solid Learning Podcast, Bridget Barrus explores the gap between the things we hope our children will learn and the skills we intentionally help them build.

We'll talk about why understanding behavior doesn't mean excusing it, why compassion and accountability belong together, and why our kids aren't the only ones growing—parents and families are developing, too.

You'll also be introduced to the five SOLID Principles that guide Be Solid Learning:

See Clearly. Own Your Choices. Live Courageously. Invest in Relationships. Daily Growth.

This isn't about perfect parenting or creating perfect kids. It's about becoming more intentional about the ordinary moments where real growth happens.

Because good intentions matter—but strong families are built through what we practice.

Stay grounded. Keep growing. Be SOLID.