Be That 1% Podcast

Description: In this episode, James shares 5 strategies that have helped him become an effective listener, build deep connections, grow his business year over year and work with several high profile individuals and brands.

Show Links:

Connect with James:

jamessilvas.com

Bethatonepercent.com

Title: Journey to Manhood: Embracing Self-Discovery with Marquez Haynes.

Description: MarQuez Haynes is a former professional basketball player, a mindfulness consultant, and a coach. Today, he is President & Co-Founder of Legacy Wealth Management Group, where he teaches investors & entrepreneurs proven techniques to acquire wealth through real estate.

MarQuez is a life-long learner and an epic traveler. Join us for the episode as we walk down memory lane, learn about his impactful self-discovery journey, and understand his thought process.

Show Topics:

• Letting go of relationships
• Having relationships with your alternative personality: masculine and feminine
• Being a professional basketball player
• Having integrity and being feminine
• Never hide from yourself
• The position of MarQuez's thought process then and now
• Going back in time
• Steps to having an effective self-discovery journey
• MarQuez's last words

Show Links:

Connect with MarQuez Haynes

IG: @quezhaynes_0

www.legacywealthgrp.com

Connect with James:

jamessilvas.com

Bethatonepercent.com

IG: @james_silvas

Show Notes:

7:44 Letting go of relationships

What's more complicated than forming bonds with people is breaking those bonds or walking out on those bonds, memories, and people

MarQuez tells us what the right thought process should be.

MarQuez: "What I'm learning in this life is, you got to travel light. When it comes to relationships, the first thing I had to do was look at the alignment. Is this relationship more about my past, or is it more about my future? How does it fit? How do I feel? And if it's taking me back to old energy that's not serving me anymore, then I need to take an honest look at that and if it's pushing me because relationships can be uncomfortable in all sorts of ways. But is this like pushing me, stretching me, expanding me, pushing me to grow? Then it's like you kind of gotta make space for it, and you must ensure it's there. So the key element of it is alignment. Is this where I'm trying to go? Or is this where I've been?

There's no such thing as finality at the end of the day. Some relationships have run their course, but the love is always there, or the bond you shared is always there. Some of them have run their course at the moment, and you're going to double back. Right now, we go our separate way, but you're not finished with that relationship. It's just at this moment; it doesn't serve. And then you got these relationships where you need to continue to cultivate and put your energy towards it and help it flourish and grow. And you can't do that everywhere. You have to decide. And so that's what it's like for me with these relationships. I'm like, okay, this is old energy, and it's keeping me from being who I'm trying to be, who I need to be, what God is asking me to be, and what the world needs to be."

12:20 Having relationships with your alternate personality - Masculine and Feminine

In a world where men are groomed and expected to be 'men,' MarQuez lets us in on the pecks to being in touch with his feminine personality.

MarQuez: "When I say if you're feminine, I mean the more receptive side, that's more inflow that is not so linear and less logical.

Early in a household that was struggling financially, there was not a lot of place for softness, feelings, or emotions.

That imbalance caused a lot of issues in my relationships and a lot of emotional unavailabilities. Everything was just logical.

Soon, you learn that there are not a lot of safe spaces to go with how to process your emotions. Not just how to process them but even how to identify or feel them or admit feeling them.

And so by just tapping into the feminine, not only is it changing my relationship with women in general, and my feminine, but it's just allowing me to feel, it's allowing me to process emotions. It's allowing me to be more comfortable. It's allowing people to be safe with their emotions around me."

18:45 Being feminine and a professional basketball player

MarQuez shared what effect being in touch with his feminine side would have had on his career while it lasted.

MarQuez: "If I had understood it better, I would've known when it was time to get out of my mind or push back on the logical thinking. Or when was it time to soften? Especially in team sports, when it was time to soften? When is it time to be receptive? When is it time to listen? When is it time to oppose forcing your agenda or doing what you want? So yeah, if I had understood it, it would've made my career much less stressful."

23:25 Having integrity and being feminine

MarQuez explains integrity from his point of view.

MarQuez: "It took a few things I cared about in my life going utterly wrong. That integrity piece circles back to that feminine womb. And that's where it showed up the most for me. But that was the place I didn't want to look at because that's the place that hurt the most.

Regarding integrity, there was always some excuse for my behavior with the feminine, like, how am I reacting, responding, and treating others? Am I being truthful and honest, or am I manipulating? Am I suppressing? Am I not listening? Am I showing up fully? And so, for me, this time, let's put the magnifying glass on the places where your integrity is in question. Let's put the magnifying glass on the places where you might, you know, if no one's looking, do something else.

But the key for me is if I am out of my integrity, I must be truthful about that so I can address it. I have to be honest with myself or whoever is involved. I have to tell my truth, which allows me to look in the mirror every day, be solid, feel good about what I'm doing, and know that anchoring in truth will keep me in integrity at the end of the day."

33:20 Never hide from yourself

MarQuez shares why it's necessary to check out yourself at every point in your journey.

MarQuez: "When you don't go there with yourself like when you don't actually get in there and go there, there's like a filter on life.

You're losing out on the actual life force within you and how amazing this can be because you can't feel so deeply. You just can't feel it. And you can't feel because you're hiding from the other stuff you don't want to feel. So if you don't want to feel the bad emotions and you're hiding from that and protecting yourself from it, you can't feel the good stuff either. You know, that's it. It's equal. You're not getting away from it."

43:36 What was the position of your thought process then and now?

We tend to overthink ourselves into our perceived future. MarQuez shares a similar experience.

MarQuez: "So back then, it was definitely in the future. More often than not, I'm calculating or plotting or planning something for what's going to happen or worrying or being anxious or worried about everything like, I don't want to do this or I'm going to do this cause I don't want this to happen in the future. It's all me worried about what's going to happen and never being here. And then I guess most of that future worry comes from some past situation. But I'm not consciously thinking about the past so much. It's always something in the future.

I am more present now because of the work I've been doing recently. There's a lot of past I'm digging. I like actively digging up a lot of past stuff, but it's much more present. And the cool thing is, I've done a lot of traveling this summer once I started to like to live more in the present and stay in that flow. Anytime I try to get too far ahead of myself in the future, it's like I get slapped on the wrist by the universe. It doesn't work that way for me because all the magic is happening right now. And obviously, I have my plans and desires for what I want to happen, but I just set it right here to the side. It's right here by me."

46:24 Going back in time

MarQuez shares some things he didn't quite appreciate in the past.

MarQuez: "So the first thing that popped into my head was those moments where you're uncontrollably laughing. You know, when you're with a friend or seeing a good TV show. Something like those moments where you just cannot stop laughing. Those are like some of the brightest moments in life, and the energy surrounding that just comes from that."

48:17 Steps to having an effective self-discovery journey

MarQuez shares some tips that help him discover himself.

MarQuez: "So I would say the first place I would start, and I mean it starts and ends here honestly, is finding and creating space for stillness. That looks a little different for everybody, but the average person I talk to is just too busy with life to get still, you know, there's too much going on around them from the time they wake up to the time they go to sleep.

When I first started to practice with a little bit of stillness, the first thing that I noticed was where my thoughts were because I couldn't get still. You know, most people think when you sit down and get still, that's going to be just complete stillness. If you haven't been practicing, that's not realistic, but sometimes observing and monitoring your thoughts for 5-10 minutes is enough to see where your mind goes.

If you want to watch a YouTube or read a book, that's cool, but what's just as crucial as that book or that YouTube is for you to spend time with yourself, and the ability to get still with yourself introduces you to yourself."

1:04:25 MarQuez leaves us with his last words

"Right now, I feel like we live in a world where everything is logical or mental. Everything lands in your mind. Someone tells you something, and it's like, okay, what can I do with that information? What do I need to do? And so being able to like the feeling of dropping into that heart space when people talk, how does it make you feel? I tell people a lot of times. You can tell the difference because when someone says something to you, how your mind will respond it's typically different than how your heart will respond. And if you can differentiate the two and start to balance up with a little bit more of this, in all situations, it will change how you behave, think, respond, and more. I make this whole thing a lot easier for all of us. I've been learning over this time, jumping into that heartfelt space and leading from there, and bringing that mind in when necessary."

Suggested listening:

Title: An unconventional approach to human connection with Celinne Da Costa

Description: Celinne Da Costa is a coach and a subconscious expert. She helps her clients rewrite their stories, and reprogram their minds, so that they live out their soul's highest expression and destiny.

She has been featured in Forbes as one of the top online business experts and has her TED Talk.

Celinne is brave, and taking that bold stride has translated into a fantastic career, which I admire.

Our conversation is deep and philosophical, which I am sure you would find insightful and thought-provoking.

Show Topics:

• A Spontaneous decision turns into an amazing reality
• Communication is beyond words
• Building connections in strange places
• A conscious living
• Celinne's mindset shift
• How emotions fuel your subconscious being
• Building the right skill set
• Be present always
• Her last words

Show Links:

Connect with Celinne Da Costa

IG: @celinnedacosta

celinnedacosta.com

Connect with James:

jamessilvas.com

Bethatonepercent.com

IG: @james_silvas

Show Notes:

3:57 Turning a spontaneous decision into an amazing reality

Celinne shares the reasons behind her decision to sleep on strangers' couches for a year and how it played out for her.

Celinne: "What if when I start from scratch, I abide by three principles, guided by what I love the most in my life, which are travel, meeting people, and writing? What can I create?

And it started this creative process of realizing, well, what if I just travel the world? Yeah. But I don't want to just travel the world. I want to do something meaningful. What if I travel the world and I am meeting people? Well, what's the best way to do that? What's the edge? And out of this came the idea of 'what if I circumnavigate the globe'?

And you know, what happened was that over the year or so, I traveled to over 20 countries, and I ended up sleeping in the homes of over a hundred people, the vast majority of whom were strangers.

This is how I grew my social media presence. This is how I was invited to become a writer for Forbes, which I was for about five years. It's how I was featured in many media who picked up on my story. I just started talking to people worldwide, interviewing them and telling their stories on the internet."

13:10 Communication is beyond words

Celinne explains how conversing and communicating with people was never a problem throughout her journey worldwide.

Celinne: "Language only makes up about 7% of communication. Yes. And then I forgot the exact specifics, but around 90% is body language, and then there is expression. I believe this. I don't know if it's the research papers, but energy is an essential way for us to communicate.

There is so much communication that happens with a smile. There is so much.

If I were to say what were my top difficulties from the trips around the world, I wouldn't say the language barrier. It's easy to communicate with broken words, hugs, or smiles."

20:21 Building connections in a strange place

How easy is it to form a genuinely strong bond with a stranger? Celinne shares a magical connection she will forever hold dear.

Celinne: "I just got to this cafe, and I'm like, can I please talk to the owner? All I knew was the cafe's and the owner's name. And so they're like, 'Sorry he's not here, but his business partner is,' and I said, 'Okay, can I talk to his business partner?' The business partner comes in, and I'm like, listen, I need a place to stay, but the role is that it needs to be someone offering me their home. He speaks a little English and is so startled that he takes out his phone book. A physical phone book starts phoning through like every single person on it. And then he closed the book and said, "Okay, you can stay at my house one night, and he was very resigned. And so I stayed at his place. He's like this big fatherly bear, like a Greek fatherly figure, and we just hit it off, and he takes me out to dinner with his friends, and then the next morning he is like, Okay, you can stay. So I stayed with him for five days. It was so magical. We bonded so much. One year later, I went to visit him, and I knocked on his door, and he just burst into tears this time. He's somebody who I'm gonna be connected with for life."

She also shares a list of her favorite places in the world, with Nepal being the most transformational.

Celinne: "Nepal was extremely transformational for me. It takes a good chunk out of my books as well. The places where I felt the deepest connection, where the ones whose hearts were the purest or like, I don't know how to say this well, but the people, the locals, had this innocence and this pure welcoming nature about them."

22:01 A conscious living

Having financial backups is necessary for trips like this. Celinne let us know how she managed hers from the day the idea was conceived.

Celinne: "I started to put aside about 20% of my paycheck, which wasn't much at the time. I took on extra consulting gigs, so while working full-time and freelancing on the side, I could bring in some more income.

I was able to put together $1000, and here's what's going to blow your mind. In the year I was traveling, I spent $8500!

I was so taken care of, and I think another big insight that I take away from that journey that hasn't left me is how taken care of we are when we have faith, believe in ourselves, and choose consciously.

And you know, this lesson that's so deeply embedded in my bones is one I can transfer over with my clients because we obviously do a lot of heavy mindsets and conscious reprogramming work. Sometimes it gets challenging because you want to transform your life in different areas and don't know what to do"?

24:33 Celinne's mindset shift

Sticking with false narratives can be dangerous to our growth process, but the effort to see things differently makes it better. Celinne shares more on this.

Celinne: "Before I went on this trip, I was very unhappy. I had a lot of trauma that I didn't even realize was there. I needed to work through it, which was uncovered even partially through this trip. In the years following, I had no belief in people. I didn't trust people. I was like, 'they are out to get me; they are out to screw me over.'

So one of the reasons why this experiment was so strong for me is because I literally put not just my life but my identity on the line. Today, I am like, 'oh! It's limiting belief one and limiting belief two.'

It's coming from this story. Here is where it originated in my lifeline. I can track all of that today with the skill set I have now, but back then, I had none of that."

34:27 How emotions fuel your subconscious.

Take charge of your emotions and use them to your advantage.

Celinne: "Subconsciousness is not just your mind. It's also your body. What I learned in my training is that the longest emotion that takes for the body to process when the mind is out of the way is grief.

When I facilitate clients, and they are going through, for example, processing grief or anger, there is a certain point where the quality of their breath changes. You can feel it in the energy field where they will start.

Like if there is a point where they are crying in the process, and the body is letting go, you can feel the moment where the mind gets involved.

So then your mind starts to loop; what you can literally feel in the body is that this person has transitioned from feeling their emotions, completely expressed, to getting the mind involved and then continuing to either cry or create suffering for themselves through the story they are telling themselves.

It's incredible, and you know, this is one of those moments when I lean in, and part of my facilitation is like, 'it's safe to let the story go now.'"

40:26 Building the right skill sets

For Celinne, covering all angles and being able to manage whatever comes at you with the right skills is very important.

Celinne: "It's a skill set and about having the right support if you need it. And when I work with people, my focus is 'let's release the stories that keep you from being here and now, and that are creating a filter for you to see the beauty of now.

And if you say today, this is a mantra that I love myself, I teach it to my clients for the morning practices, 'I am committed to walking the path of my highest soul's destiny, what's my next step? That's it. What is my next stop six months from now? What will happen ten years from now? What's going to happen?' You are walking the path, and you are in it and being plugged into it now."

48:00 Celinne describes her presence in relationships

How you treat relationships affects other areas of your life.

Celinne: "My responsibility to myself as a coach, mentor, and a human being who is committed to my evolution, is just 'let's keep this channel clear,' and it's really about being present.

It's okay, let me breathe, regulate my body like allow myself to be here, my emotional body is here, my mind is here in this moment, and let me focus on whatever is going on right now."

52:00 Her last words

Celinne: "If there is something that's on your heart and the podcast has found you at the moment where you are like 'there's this thing I really want to do, I want to level up in this way in my career, I want to call in a relationship that I desire, I really want to meet these you know, weight loss and well-being goals' and there Is something you desire in your heart, just notice that you are here now and you are on the path, so you are fine.

And if you want to get to where you want to be, just know it's about learning the skill set and understanding what you can do."

Suggested Listening: Optimize Your Life with Aurimas Juodka

Show Notes

Episode: 236

James Silvas

Title: 7 strategies for creating and keeping strong relationships

Description:

The right Relationships can catapult you to a new level of lifestyle but the relationships that support us, challenge us and help us grow into a greater version of ourselves take intentional effort over time.

Today, James shares 7 strategies that will help you create and keep strong relationships in your life.

Listen and apply what aligns so that you can keep those you care about close to you as you continue to master your craft, achieve your goals and experience new milestones.

Show Topics:

• 7 7 strategies for creating and keeping strong relationships

Show Links:

Connect with James:

jamessilvas.com

Bethatonepercent.com

IG: @james_silvas

Show Notes

Episode: 235

James Silvas

Title: 7 signs you've outgrown your relationships

Description:

Relationships can be the source of our greatest joy, fulfillment and happiness while simultaneously being the greatest source of pain, frustration and stress.

Today, James shares what he sees as 7 signs that will help you recognize what relationships may no longer serve you, your goals and the type of person you choose to be.

Let this be an invitation to start the conversations necessary that will shift and/or release the relationships in your life.

Show Topics:

• 7 signs you've outgrown your relationships

Show Links:

Connect with James:

jamessilvas.com

Bethatonepercent.com

IG: @james_silvas

Episode: 234

Title: Six Figure Summer with Adam Webb

Description:

Adam Webb, Chief Revenue Officer at Sunder Energy, is a nationally ranked sales professional with diverse tactical and strategic experience in finance, marketing, human resources, and operations.

He is a seasoned leader and manager who strives to return value to the world through business and humanitarian efforts. Adam has been in the direct sales field for over 14 years now. He's also a published author, patented inventor, a non-profit founder, and a father to 5 children.

I love his attitude towards life. He's fun, open-minded, and exploratory. I think you'll take away a lot from our conversation.

Show Topics:

• Think bigger
• Self talk is everything
• Balancing a successful career and a family
• 3 characteristics he looks for in recruits
• His biggest challenges as a leader
• His one piece of advice for anyone trying to grow
• Using affirmations for manifestation
• His most important investments
• Fatherhood as a sense of purpose
• How he approaches challenges
• His advice to leaders
• The Six Figure Summer

Show Links:

Connect with Adam

www.sunderenergy.com

Linkedin

IG: @adamkwebb

Adam's book: Six Figure Summer

Connect with James:

jamessilvas.com

Bethatonepercent.com

IG: @james_silvas

Show Notes:

4:33 The catalyst to thinking bigger

Adam: "Sales surrounded me with people that were thinking bigger and were doing bigger things. And I'd get to sit next to someone that made 4 figures in a day. Over several thousand dollars in a day. And we were doing the same thing. We have the same opportunity. And so that type of influence started me on this process of maybe I could do that too. And then you go out and do it.

You hit these milestones, you hit these new peaks, and then now your vista is expanded. You can see more. Because you just scaled up a peak. Maybe it was a small peak for you, but it's a new view and you can see higher things to climb.

That's how it started to change for me. Just being surrounded by people that were doing bigger things."

5:35 Self-talk is everything.

Adam: "My default mode was to assume that there was something different about me, inherently, that would prevent me from doing the things that other people were doing. That person is the top sales rep making a healthy six figure income, but that's not me. I'm not that guy.

My level up moments came when a leader called me up early in my sales career and just said, 'Hey, Adam, I've been watching you. I've been seeing you. I feel you're the type of person that could perform at the highest level. Like I really believe you could sell over 200 alarm accounts, be the top rep in the company.' And I respected this leader. The fact that they believed, that they took the time to communicate that, I borrowed that belief and then that mindset shift was enough to actually go do it, and then doing it created that new reality in concrete for me."

8:34 Balancing a successful career and a family

Adam: "Yeah, a little bit of extra effort goes a long way. Typically, when you're busy, you get back from traveling, you come home, you just relax. The kids are on their screens. You're on your phone scrolling. You're all in the same house together, but not interacting.

We're up here in Utah. There's all these amazing mountains everywhere. In 30 minutes, I can plan out a freaking sweet little backpacking. We can get away with the kids. Pack up the bags and we go into the mountains. So now, we're having like this top 10, incredible experience. Me and the kids up in the mountains, no phones. We're seeing moose. We're cold plunging lakes. And really all that was just taking the initiative and the intention of planning that out and doing a little extra work when I was tired, so that's how I try and maximize everything is just just be intentional about it. And go hard in all the areas of your life that matter."

13:25 Three characteristics he looks for in recruits

Adam: "There's really only three things that I filter for. Outside of that I've learned not to over judge in the direct sales industry. There's way too much filtering and like prejudgment. I've just had too many experiences where someone that I was sure was just going to dominate because they fit the bill. Like a top athlete, straight-A student, good looking… like whatever these factors are that we think correlate to success. And then I recruit that person and they just fall on their face. They just can't even handle an ounce of difficulty when it comes to direct sales.

And then I've had people that I would not bet on at all. Like people you would not think of, just go dominate. So I've really learned not to judge outside of three things, which are work ethic, coachability, and positive attitude. And I assess those in the interview process just by asking qualifying questions that help me understand where they fall on each of those spectrums. And if somebody possesses those qualities, I don't even care if they seem like a sales dud. It's very difficult to teach work ethic, coachability, and positive attitude. So I just go look for people that have those attributes and they always succeed in my sales programs. "

17:05 His biggest challenges as a leader

Adam: "I've learned that 99% of disappointment and dissatisfaction is just expectation, mismanagement. I've had reps making hundreds of thousands of dollars getting a six figure paycheck, just livid out of their mind because even though it's a lot of money, it's less than where their expectation was. And there's been times where that's been their fault. There's been times when that's been my fault.

So I feel like that's one of the hardest things to do is to just set proper expectations. And from learning that lesson, now I'm not afraid to have tough conversations. I hate when leaders avoid tough conversations, whether it's feedback or mentoring or tough coaching that they need to give to someone, maybe it's a situation where you have a conflict of interest with one of your people.

Have tough conversations, underpromise and over deliver, set right expectations. I did that wrong for a lot of years and I've learned, and I feel like it's something I do right now and people respect it and they'll stick around a long time."

19:38 His one piece of advice for anyone trying to grow: expand your vision

Adam: "Looking back I limited my own growth and progression with my self concept of me. If I could go back, I would just tell myself, just think bigger. I would've grown so much faster and I see that all the time.

If you're a rep, stop thinking of yourself as a rep, start thinking of yourself as a manager and a leader. If you are a manager, start thinking of yourself as a regional manager, because it's just so easy to get into the day in and day out. You're in the weeds. You're putting out fires, you're doing this, you're doing that, but you have to stop and think and expand your vision because you can't grow beyond your own self concept.

I see that all the time when I have leaders that finally are like, 'Okay, if Webb thinks I can do it, then shoot, let's go do it. I'm a regional manager. Let's go!' Then everything starts falling into place. They start thinking like a top leader, acting like a top leader, talking like a top leader, behaving like a top leader. And over time that reality that they have in their head just starts materializing. So that's the most important advice I give to anyone trying to grow is just expand your vision."

21:00 Using affirmations for manifestation

Adam: "I do my Brian Tracy's Top 10 every day. I just say out loud while I'm driving my top 10 goals, dictate them onto a notepad, and then erase it and repeat the process the next day.

"I cashflow six figures a month in real estate." Say that every single day, eventually your subconscious brain is just going to be like "Okay, cool. Where's the real estate? Let's go get it."

James: "I recorded an audio CD of myself talking to myself as if all the things I want, my goals are already achieved. I would listen to that every morning and put some music behind it. Those listening, find your own style that you feel you need, but this stuff does work and it is priming you to not only receive what you're working so hard to get, but also to sustain it. You're building that identity."

28:02 His most important investments

Adam: "Owner-occupying investment property. That's been the best strategy for building wealth for us. That's how we built seven figure wealth. And it's a predictable format. Anyone can follow that so it's low risk. It's attainable. So that's been the key strategy that we've used to build wealth and then just dumping money into the stock market. Just buying index funds, buying the market. Consistently investing. That's the way you do it."

33:20 Fatherhood as a sense of purpose

​​

Adam: "Being a father extends to what I feel my core purpose in life is, which is just to create as much value for other people as I can. So for me having this blank slate that I can mold and create a human that will exist after I'm gone, that will perpetuate, and will continue to create value and like just make the world a better place. With everything I do professionally I feel like it will all pale in comparison to the work that I do with my kids.

If you think about it, like every solar system we sell will someday just be in a recycling center somewhere. Like none of it'll just be here anymore. No one will be on the earth that remembered us or knew us that has living memory of us. So really the only thing that lasts forever is the influence that you have on other people. And so that's how I see fatherhood. It's like my chance to perpetuate goodness and definitely because I could teach them and they'll teach their kids and they'll teach their kids. And that just goes on."

34:02 His approach to challenges

Adam: "I like Jocko Willink. He wrote Extreme Ownership. He was a seal platoon commander. His response to problems and challenges is "good". That's just what he says to everything. "Good." That's just his instinctive response. Like here's a problem. Good. Why is this good? I don't know but it is good. All problems, all challenges. They're good. Every failure has a seed of an equivalent or greater success. So I just believe that. So when you approach it that way, then you don't have that same reaction. Like you're able to face anything because you know the more it sucks, the bigger, the downside, the bigger the upside."

41:40 His advice to leaders

Adam: "I think in business there's a culture of perfection. And I dealt with this a lot where leaders don't want their people to see them bleed. They don't want to be vulnerable. They don't want to have their mistakes out on display. And I think that makes them come off as inhumane and hard to relate to. And it hurts relationships. So my advice to leaders, and this is one of my greatest weaknesses so I'm talking to myself too, is learn to be more vulnerable and just be okay with imperfection and making mistakes."

43:40 Six Figure Summer

Adam: "I didn't set out to write a book. The six figure summer actually started as more of a pamphlet. But there was just one rep. That wanted to hit 200 alarms in a summer. That was the $100k mark in commissions. That was top 1% performance. So I trained him and I trained him and he went out for the summer and he did better, but he didn't hit 200. So we ran it back.I trained him. He went out again. He did better, but he didn't hit that 200 sale mark. And then I was like, okay, what's going on? I must not know what it is that allows me to do this, because I'm clearly not able to teach it to him. He's doing everything I'm telling him.

So I pondered on this for months. It was like driving me insane, just picking away at my brain. And then I have this epiphany where I realized that what separates top performers from everyone else is not their pitch or what they do. It's who they are as people, it's the principles that they embody.

So the question should be not what's your pitch, but what are the right principles? That'll help me become dominant in a top 1% performer. So I thought through that and I wrote them down, there was a short list of them. I wrote those down. I gave it to him and said, read this like every day during the summer he read it. He cleared 200. And then it just expanded from there. Other people wanted it and then the company wanted it. And then when I switched companies, they wanted it and it just grew into a book. So I never actually set out to do that. It just evolved naturally from a desire to create as much value for other people as it possibly could."

Suggested listening:

Episode: 233

Title: From A Broke Student to a 7-Figure Sales Leader with Steven Cohen

Description:

Steven Cohen is Co-Founder of Sundar Energy, a residential solar company based in Las Vegas, Nevada, with the fastest growing sales team in the country. Steven went from a broke student to a 7-figure sales leader and keynote speaker.

In this episode, Steven talks about how he uses fear as a motivator, why it's important to stay ultra-consistent, and how he develops and coaches his teams to be high-performers.

Show Topics:

• The worthiness complex
• Common fears in high-performers
• Our unconscious mind creates our world
• Leveraging pain to make shifts
• Stop putting meditation on a pedestal
• Staying ultra-consistent
• Lessons in stoicism
• The law of familiarity is the enemy
• How Steven approaches culture and team-building
• Be the victor not the victim
• Steven's definition of direct sales
• How he stays rejuvenated
• Why you should create financial freedom for yourself

Show Links:

Connect with Steven:

IG: @stevencohen

Sunderenergy.com

Connect with James:

jamessilvas.com

Bethatonepercent.com

IG: @james_silvas

Key Takeaways:

3:35 James: "What is a game-changing book you've read recently?"

Steven: "One of my favorite books is a book called 'Ask and It is Given', written by Jerry and Esther Hicks. It really focuses more on the thinking, the spiritual side of success. You can read all the tactical and all the strategies, which are important, but I believe that until you have the right philosophy, and until you have the right awareness over your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions, and really can frame them in a certain way that's gonna support you, all the strategies, all the techniques, all the circumstances, you're not gonna be able to really capitalize on them until your inner world until your inner world is right."

6:53 James: "What has been your biggest fear that you've confronted and maybe still wrestle with when you made that choice to leave that old Steven behind and embrace this new version that you strive to be?

Steven: "I would say probably the biggest challenge and I still face it today is I think the worthiness complex. New levels, new devils, right? In order for you to take on a new lifestyle, a new level of success, a new death in a relationship, whatever part of your life that you're trying to enhance, there's gonna be challenges and there's going to be certain things that come up from the marketplace, from the universe, in order to test you about how committed or how serious you are in order to accomplish that goal that you're trying to accomplish. And for me, I think the biggest thing was getting to that level of success. Becoming that person that I dreamed of, having the social skills and not being able to handle it or not wanting the responsibility that came with it or having it and then potentially being at risk to lose it.

I forgot who said this, but, being poor, being broke, isn't the worst thing that can happen in life. It's tasting that success and losing it for a lot of people is the worst thing that could potentially happen. So I feel like a lot of people including myself, we almost stop before we achieve that milestone, or we stop right before that gold is mined because of our fear of once we accomplish that, either not being able to handle it, being overwhelmed or potentially losing it, therefore we don't take the action that we need to get there."

9:19 Common fears in high-performers: using fear as fuel as opposed to a paralyzer.

James: "I've created a fear series on just fears that are common in high performers. And I would consider you a high-performer…a high-caliber leader. And when you study these types of individuals you understand that they're human like everybody else, and that they feel the fear but they actually use it as fuel as opposed to a paralyzer. And the fear that you mentioned for me lumps into fear of success, which is the one that I have the most intimate relationship with.

And it doesn't mean that you fear the things that you want. It means you fear the change that comes with the things that you want. And the change can be the pressure. It can be the spotlight, it can be the risk of having it and then having it slip through your fingers. And thank you for sharing that because I know a lot of leaders out there probably resonate with the same thing and it's very common."

11:26 Your performance is directly related to your unconscious mind. Our personality creates our personal reality.

Steven: "My job inherently is a lot of dealing with people, emotions, different types of walks of life. My biggest goal is to try and help people grow and develop, because I believe that your results in the marketplace, your results in solar direct sales is a reflection of your inner world. It's a reflection of the inner work that you're doing because we bring ourselves wherever we go. So you can't go out there and go crush 10 installs in a month, or go crush a quarter million, half a million dollars, whatever your goal is, if you don't believe deep down that you're worth that level of income… Unconsciously, you're going to stop yourself from achieving what you want and start self sabotaging yourself because of those beliefs that ultimately run our unconscious mind is what creates our world. Our personality creates our personal reality. I love that because I believe in that. So in order to get your income or your external results to the level that you want, you first need to get your yourself, your personal development, your personality, your attitude your values, your discipline, all these non-physical things to that point first in order to sustain that."

14:43 Steven describes his breaking point, and how he leveraged pain to make shifts in his life.

Steven: "There was a breaking point where I was with my mom and we were going to a payday loan place because she was late on her bills. And I remember going with her and I just remember on that car ride home, like making a conscious decision, just getting so fed up with my current lifestyle and like these current circumstances. No, I need to make this happen. I can't wait 5, 10, 15 years because my parents are getting older. They can't afford that. And I almost leveraged that pain unconsciously at the time now looking back, I can consciously realize it. I leveraged that pain and that discomfort and that fear in order to really shift something in my life. And then from that point forward, maybe it was a month, a year, I don't remember exactly, but that's when I got into solar shortly after that. And then people's circumstances and places started coming together in order for me to start my trajectory on my journey of success. And, my monetary income started being a reflection finally, of what I believed I was worth."

20:05 Stop putting meditation on a pedestal. Complexity is the enemy of execution.

Steven: "It's still one of those things that I struggle with to this day. For a long time I used to put meditation on a pedestal. There's this esoteric, crazy magical, mystical thing about meditation. And I think when people do that or at least for myself it's a little scary. It's a little intimidating and complexity is the enemy of execution. When you create this complexity in terms of processes, in terms of tasks, in terms of things that you wanna do, chances are, you're not gonna do it because you're not making it easy for yourself.

You wanna set yourself up to win. So now my relationship with meditation is very similar to my relationship with solitude… just spending time with myself. Cutting out distractions, cutting off noise, doing my best to stay off social media and just spending time with myself without stimuli, bogging down my psyche. And that's when, to your point, the magic happens."

23:00 Staying ultra-consistent and using mantras to weather the storm.

Steven: "There's a mantra that I've been saying to myself for I feel like the last seven or eight years. Things will work out because things always work out. And I remember during more uncertain times in my professional career where, I was all in financially, I was all in emotionally. If things didn't work out, I didn't know what I was gonna do. And we all have to go through phases and seasons.

Whenever things pop up, challenges big or small, because you know, the more money you make, the more successful you become doesn't get easier, right? You just become better. You become better at dealing with these bigger problems. And by having certain mantras that ground me, like things will work out because things always work out, are you dead though? Are you going to die? And having these mantras give me a sense of peace and grounding that have helped me in the challenges and in the seasons of storms in order to have the faith in order to take action, and in order to get through it. Because at the end of the day any decision, any challenge, any mountain that we go against, it's not gonna kill us for the most part in modern day society.

So therefore it's the actual fear and uncomfortability. That's actually more scary than actually taking the action in order to get there. So you need certain anchors in order to ground you, to give you the confidence, to give you the empowerment in order to make that decision. That's number one."

24:40 Lessons in stoicism. James: "What do you ask yourself regularly that help you not buy into the emotional storms that may happen along the journey and stay focused and rooted in you the vision or purpose?"

Steven: "I've always been a very stoic person. And I haven't really started studying stoicism up until the last couple years, but it's always something that I've embodied from people like you who have told me certain things about myself that I really appreciate, or mentors of mine. I've always been a very consistent person in the way that I show up in my emotional bank account.

I never allow the highs to get too high. I never allow the lows to get too low, the peaks and the valleys. I usually stay pretty consistent. One of the compliments I tend to get is, know, it doesn't matter if it's a bad day or a good day. I show up the same way. And at first I didn't do that by design.

It was just more of my default, but the more I've dove into that, the more I realize that's been one of the characteristics or one of the gifts that's been able to serve me the most because what happens with most people while they're not consistent is because they're so reactive to whatever is going on in their."

29:30 The law of familiarity is the enemy, especially for over achievers.

Steven: "Law familiarity is one of our biggest enemies. I feel like it's something that I try and battle every single day. What becomes familiar becomes taken for granted. Whether that's your wife, whether that's your relationship, your house that you wish you had one day, the dream car that you now have your career, all these things that we wish and desire.

And we work so hard for that we accomplish after a week after a month, whatever it is, we lose that sense of energy and that sense of gratitude and appreciation of getting it. So for me, battling that law of familiarity is really important because if you don't take time to celebrate your victories, you lose a little bit of hunger and you rob yourself of the experience because if you're not taking time to enjoy it, what gives you the motivation to go out there and get the next thing?"

33:33 James: "You're really good at building culture and at recruiting. Talk to us about how you think about culture and forming a team that can unify and support one another. What are some components that you could share with us that you think would be valuable for any leader who wants to build a team who is already currently leading a team?

Steven: "I think the challenge with people trying to build a team is they're not clear on the thing that they're trying to accomplish.

For the last decade, my mission has been to help myself and help as many people as possible live life on their own terms and do that by developing, do that by increasing their communication skills, do that by bringing in like-minded individuals that share a common goal and a common dream, because you're gonna get there that much quicker.

So step number one is you need a strong vision. You need a strong 'why'.

Number two is you need a super solid foundation. And three it's Ziglar's, OG quote that everyone knows about, right? "When you help enough people get what they want, you get what you want by default."

I'm not in the profession of selling solar. I'm in the profession of building people because as you build the people, the product will sell itself. And for me, I've always really tried not to just help people in their business, but to help people in their life."

43:11 Be the victor not the victim.

Steven: "Either you're the victor or the victim, which is a great book, but it's true. I think 95% of people's challenges go away when they stop playing victim. If you can truly, take full responsibility for everything going on in your life, the good, the bad, the ugly, the great.

If you're always blaming your circumstances or the economy, or my coach, isn't doing a good job or this hood already got burned. If you're always blaming outer circumstances, you're giving your power to things that are outside of your control. Therefore you can't change anything. And that's when people get into that story and they hold onto these problems of why they're not in the situation they are, or why they're on probation or why their car got repoed. And because they don't want to take ownership over their life and what they created.

44:29 How Steven defines the direct sales industry.

Steven: "I believe direct sales is just a personal development program with a big compensation plan attached. And that's how I've looked at it for the last 10 years. Sales is the job, that's what you do. Knocking on doors, selling solar, online marketing, like whatever your sales profession is, pest control, alarms, whatever that's the job. But the person that you become in the process is ultimately gonna be the biggest reward.

For me, direct sales has changed my life. Not just financially, the byproduct, but because I had to become a completely different person. Growing up I was low self-esteem, super shy, bad at communicating. I'd walk into a room and care more about what people think about me versus what I think about them. And for me, direct sales was that opportunity. It was that college for learning and for me to really transform myself by doing something really uncomfortable. There's a quote that says two years of knocking on doors is equivalent to a bachelor's degree in communication. Being able to work on your communication skills, being able to work on your emotional intelligence, being able to work on your level of consistency.

47:56 James: "What are your energy rejuvenating activities that help you continue to show up the way you want?"

Steven: "Massages are a really big thing for me. I try to do them weekly, if not weekly bimonthly, at least two times a month. For me, it's a sense of meditation.

For a really long time I always neglected my body. I remember in 2018, I was like, oh, I don't need to work out. I don't need to go to the gym. I don't need to do this. I'll do that when I'm rich and I can afford a personal trainer, I gotta focus on this right now. When that was completely backwards. I was actually preventing my financial success because I wasn't focusing on my health, my body, my energy, my rejuvenation, my vitality. So massages are something that's changed my life because it allows me to just think for 60 minutes to 90 minutes in a dark room, not doing anything, it's almost like a forced meditation.

I'm big on things like cryotherapy. I'm big on taking vacations once a quarter, away from work. I'm just big on making sure that my cup is filled because I realize that if I'm not being selfish Then I'm not able to serve people at the highest level that I need to."

56:24 Why you should create financial freedom for yourself.

"I think focusing on financial freedom is my biggest goal right now. It's not just about making money, but it's also about figuring out a way to make money not important to me anymore, because me and you are both deep thinkers. James, I know you do a bunch of stuff in Colombia and like all these really cool trips to really learn more about yourself, learn more about life.

Why are we really here? And for me, one of my biggest goals for a really long time after I've taken care of a lot of the monetary solutions that I've been able to accomplish is making enough money where I can clear my mind up of the basic necessities and the things that I need to do."

I think most people are so content with just surviving in life and just playing the cards they were dealt that they almost give up on their dreams. They give up on why we're really here. And for me I really want to inspire people by doing it myself.

You can create a life where you can have all your financial stuff taken care of and really be able to go deep and tap into why you're really here and figure out like what your mission is. And that's really been my mission this last year is to figure out what I need to do to get myself to that level and help as many people as possible get there."

Suggested listening:

1. 7 Strategies to Help Minimize Anxiety and Stress

Show Notes

Episode: 232

James Silvas

Title: What to do avoid when dealing with a problem

Description:

How do you view problems? Depending on your approach, problems can be what helps you grow and evolve or it can keep you stuck in a pattern of thinking/feeling that won't get you closer to your goals.

Today's episode will be centered around the 3 P's of learned helplessness and knowing this framework will help you become a better problem solver which will enhance your level of leadership and impact.

Show Topics:

• What to do avoid when dealing with a problem

Show Links:

Connect with James:

jamessilvas.com

Bethatonepercent.com

IG: @james_silvas

Show Notes

Episode: 231

James Silvas

Title: 7 strategies to help minimize anxiety and stress

Description:

Our days can fly by in the blink of an eye. Whether it's the errands that need to be run, fires that need to be put out, trainings that need to be done or the conversations that need to be had, we can feel burnt out, anxious and stressed during and at the end of our day which can take a toll on our mental and emotional health.

Today's episode addresses an audience member's question. Someone reached out to James asking if He could answer a question stemming around "How can I stay centered and more present throughout my day given all the things I need to get done". James shares 7 strategies that will help restore energy, strengthen efficiency and lessen the "cognitive load" that zaps your energy. Tune in and take notes.

Show Topics:

• 7 strategies to help minimize anxiety and stress

Show Links:

Connect with James:

jamessilvas.com

Bethatonepercent.com

IG: @james_silvas

Show Notes

Episode: 230

James Silvas

Title: 8 Examples of an unhealthy Ego and what to do about it

Description:

Your ego can be your best friend or your worst enemy. You get to choose. In today's episode James shares his Healthy/Unhealthy Ego framework to help you check your Ego so you can continue to level up your relationships, business and life.

Show Topics:

• 8 examples of how your Ego prevents you from greater levels of growth

Show Links:

Connect with James:

jamessilvas.com

Bethatonepercent.com

IG: @james_silvas