Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet

Too bad Thanksgiving.

We're still on tour! Get tickets for our Nashville show at www.beachtoosandy.com.

Go to dipseastories.com/beach for your first week free - then 25% off.

Get $25 off your first purchase when you go to therealreal.com/beach.

Go to shopremi.com/beach and use code BEACH at checkout for 55% off this month with Remi Club.

Be the first to shop 25% off plus free shipping and extended returns at bollandbranch.com/toosandy with code TOOSANDY.

Thousands of people are already using Rula to get affordable, high-quality therapy that’s actually covered by insurance. Visit rula.com/beachtoosandy to get started.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Devilish meat bucket tins.

See us live in Nashville! Get your tickets at www.beachtoosandy.com.

Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmoney.com/beach.

Nutrafol is offering our listeners $15 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit nutrafol.com and enter promo code BEACHTOOSANDY

Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for fifteen percent off, plus free shipping over $65.

This holiday season, Jones Road is giving you a free full-sized Mascara with your first purchase when you go to jonesroadbeauty.com and use code BEACHTOOSANDY at checkout. 

Download the Vinted app for free and start listing. With no seller fees, you keep every dollar you earn.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Five very impressive large molded dolphins.

We have one last stop on our tour... Nashville!! Buy tickets at  beachtoosandy.com

Shop now at fabletics.com/beach to get 70–80% off everything when you sign up as a new VIP. 

Right now, Fi is offering my listeners up to 30% off and free shipping when you visit fitracking.com and enter promo code BEACH. 

Go to sequencing.com and use promo code BEACH for 10% off. 

Head to talkiatry.com/beach to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in‐network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I'm going to bury you with your comrades.

We're on tour!  Get your tickets for our remaining Louisville & Nashville shows at beachtoosandy.com

Go to homechef.com/beachtoosandy for 50% off your first box and free dessert for life! 

Join the millions of customers who trust HomeServe. For 50% less your first year, go to homeserve.com/bts.

Get $25 off your first purchase when you go to therealreal.com/beach.

Dipsea is giving our listeners their first week free and then 25% off after that, when you sign up at dipseastories.com/beach.

Book a complimentary financial planning call with an Arca advisor at arcawealth.com/beach.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Does your eggplant come with skin?

Nutrafol is offering our listeners $15 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit nutrafol.com and enter promo code BEACHTOOSANDY. 

Thousands of people are already using Rula to get affordable, high-quality therapy that’s actually covered by insurance. Visit rula.com/beachtoosandy to get started.

Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.

Treat, don’t trick, your teeth this month and go to shopremi.com/beach and use code BEACH at checkout for 50% off with Remi Club.

Upgrade your sleep with Boll & Branch. Get 15% off your first order plus free shipping at bollandbranch.com/toosandy with code TOOSANDY.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I wouldn't ask for underwear if I didn't need the underwear.

Listen to Who Shat on the Floor at my Wedding? And Other Crimes wherever you get your podcasts and visit whoshatontheflooratmywedding.com for more!

For a limited time our listeners are getting a free full sized Mascara on their first purchase when they head to jonesroadbeauty.com and use code BEACHTOOSANDY at checkout. 

Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for 15% off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over $65.

Head to talkiatry.com/beach to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in‐network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. 

Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmoney.com/beach.

Visit Progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little extra cash back. 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A belly full of white dog turds.

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I hate when they put wang in my food.

Follow Michelle on Instagram at @michcoll or @The Michelle Collins Show

We're going on tour! Buy tickets at https://www.beachtoosandy.com/

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A stained crotch is not the experience we wanted for you.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Mona Lisa, a dildo, or a pug?

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.