BeachCast.TV: Bible Exploration, Apologetics and Church History with Dr. Chase A. Thompson:

Rejoice, everybody! It is Friday, and if you live in sunny central California, you get to enjoy temps in the 70s today with sunshine and no humidity. If you're in the area, come visit us at Valley Baptist Church in Salinas! If you're not, then I am sorry to brag on our weather - your's probably isn't as nice. After 1.5 years as a native Californian, I've learned that the four most California things possible are: #1 Mentioning how great the weather is #2 Eating Avocados #3 Skateboarding #4 Buying bags at the grocery store because I am literally incapable of remembering to get them out of my trunk and bring them into the store. Enough nonsense - Today's Bible passages include Job 21, where we see Job at his best: a man of sorrows that maintains an excellent sense of dark sarcasm in answering his mean friends:

Pay close attention to my words; let this be the consolation you offer. 3 Bear with me while I speak; then after I have spoken, you may continue mocking.

Job 21:2-3

In Luke 7, we see the remarkable example of the Roman Centurion's faith, and Jesus' compassion and power on full display as He resurrects the only son of the Widow of Nain. 1 Corinthians chapter 8 is focused on eating food sacrificed to idols - not a big deal in much of the West - but also discusses how to NOT be a stumbling block to people when we use our freedom to eat and drink. It also contains this powerful nugget of wisdom, " Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up " (1 Corinthians 8:1) Our focus passage remains in Exodus today, and our Bible question concerns what might be one of the most mysterious (and totally unexplained!) events in all of the Bible. Let's read the whole of Exodus 4, and be on the lookout for the mysterious happening. Notice how there is not pretext or postscript that explains our event in question.

Did you catch it?! There, right at the end of Exodus 4, almost IMMEDIATELY after God has called and pushed Moses into leading the Exodus out of Egypt, God goes to Moses to KILL HIM! Yes - I said kill him, because that's exactly what the Bible says! WHAT IN THE WORLD?! Here's the text again, in case you missed it:

On the trip, at an overnight campsite, it happened that the Lord confronted him and intended to put him to death. 25 So Zipporah took a flint, cut off her son's foreskin, threw it at Moses's feet, and said, "You are a bridegroom of blood to me!" 26 So he let him alone. At that time she said, "You are a bridegroom of blood," referring to the circumcision.

Exodus 4:24-26

SO MANY QUESTIONS! The foremost question is: WHY does God seek to kill Moses, but there are other questions too: HOW was God going to kill him? WHY did Moses' wife circumcise her son, and throw the tip at the FEET of Moses? WHY did that appease God? And finally, what in the world did she mean by, "surely you are a bridegroom of blood to me?" Let me begin our answers with a strong caution: I think we can offer an extremely plausible explanation for much of what is happening here, and we can offer an explanation that is sound in a biblical sense. However, our explanations will AT BEST be CONJECTURE. (conjecture is an opinion or conclusion that comes from incomplete or missing information.) Biblical conjecture is ok - I think - as long as we say right up front that we are speculating - making educated guesses at best.

Putting all of the pieces of the puzzle together, it would appear that God was going to bring the most severe discipline possible to Moses, because Moses was willfully refusing to obey God's commands and have his son circumcised. Let's turn to our French friend John Calvin for a good speculation/conjecture about what is going on here:

The expression, "the Lord met him," is here used in a bad sense, for an adverse meeting, or hostile encounter; as though Moses should say that the hand of the Lord was against him to interrupt his journey. In what form He appeared we don't know, except that the words pretty plainly imply that Moses was assured of His anger, so as to be aware that his death was near...

The cause is not [directly] expressed for which he perceived that God was so angry with him; except that we may gather it from what follows. For why should Zipporah have taken a sharp stone or knife and circumcised her son, had she not known that God was offended at his uncircumcision? It is sufficient for us to know that he was terrified by the approach of certain destruction, and that, at the same time, the cause of his affliction was shown to him, so that he hastened to seek for a remedy. It would never have otherwise occurred to himself or his wife to circumcise the child to appease God's wrath; and it will appear a little further on, that God's anger was satisfied by this offering, since he withdrew his hand, and took away the signs of his wrath.

I therefore unhesitatingly conclude, that vengeance was declared against Moses for his negligence, which was connected with still heavier sins; for he had not omitted his son's circumcision from forgetfulness, or ignorance, or carelessness only, but because he was aware that it was disagreeable either to his wife or to his father-in-law. Therefore, lest his wife should quarrel with him, or his father-in-law trouble him, he preferred to gratify them than to give occasion for divisions, or enmity, or disturbance. In the meantime, however, for the sake of the favor of men, he neglected to obey God. This false dealing was no light offense, since nothing is more intolerable than to defraud God of his due obedience, in order to please men. There was a mixture too of distrust and ingratitude in it; for, if the favor of God had had its proper weight in the eyes of Moses, he would not have been stopped by the fear of man from this holy duty.

John Calvin and Charles William Bingham, Commentaries on the Four Last Books of Moses Arranged in the Form of a Harmony, vol. 1 (Bellingham, WA: Logos Bible Software, 2010), 105–106. Slightly modernized

I agree with John Calvin (my agreement shouldn't carry much weight!) The issue appears to be that Moses, though aware of God's command to circumcise, REFUSED to circumcise his son in order to appease his wife, and possibly his father in law too. This would explain Zipporah's cryptic "bridegroom of blood to me" comment. Very likely, she is expressing distress and possibly even disgust at the necessity of performing such an operation on an infant. For a more complete and deep explanation of the practice of circumcision, please refer back to episode 16 of this podcast, in which we spent a good bit of time exploring the topic, and the fact that New Testament Christians are NOT required to be circumcised.

As a reminder - God commanded Abraham to institute circumcision for all males born to his descendants as a way of setting them apart from all of the other peoples of the land. Perhaps the best reasoning for circumcision I've ever heard was quoted in depth on episode 16 of the show, but basically amounts to this: Abraham's son Isaac was born in a miraculous way to a mom and dad who were way beyond the age of childbearing. As such, the entire nation of Israel was the miraculous doing of God - it didn't happen in a natural way, but a supernatural way. Every time a Hebrew male would begin to be intimate with his wife, in order to produce a child, they would both be reminded - by the sign of circumcision - that they were a people uniquely created by God. This miraculous birth also foreshadowed the birth of the soon coming messiah Jesus - born to a virgin to save His people - and the entire world - from their sins.

In the Old Covenant, circumcision was SUPREMELY important - as a sign and a reminder of God's goodness. That Moses would compromise on this most important commandment demonstrated that he would compromise on other important commandments too, and I speculate that God could not allow one of His major leaders in all of human history to lead His people into compromise. Thus did God come near to force Moses to repent, or to take His life if He stubbornly maintained his refusal to obey God. We might think this a bit over the top on God's part, but it is worth remembering a dynamic that we learn about in the New Testament: God's leaders and God's teachers WILL BE JUDGED MORE SEVERELY. Why? Because when they compromise and sin, they lead more people away than just themselves.

Not many should become teachers, my brothers, knowing that we will receive a stricter judgment

James 3:1

As John Calvin rightly pointed out, Moses should have been more full of the fear of God than the fear of what his wife or father in law might say to him. God is a consuming fire - He is awesome, mighty and powerful, and Moses was attempting to be a people-pleaser, and not a God-pleaser - a dangerous road to go down - LITERALLY! for a man of God.

You might be tempted to read such passages as this, and think as many do - that God was more harsh in the Old Testament, and more merciful in the New Testament, but such a view would be completely inaccurate. God is ALWAYS Holy. He is ALWAYS merciful. Consider Ananias and Sapphira - killed in the New Testament for their sin of lying to God's apostles. Consider the danger that Paul warns about in 1 Corinthians 11 (a topic we will cover in 3 days!) where he suggests that it is possible for people to DIE if they do not properly honor God in the way they partake of the Lord's supper. Finally, consider Jesus' stark and important warning about the fear of God in Matthew:

Don't fear those who kill the body but are not able to kill the soul; rather, fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.

Matthew 10:28

It is not at all hyperbole when Proverbs 9 tells us that the "fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." May we take His commands with the utmost sobriety and seriousness! Allow me to close with an encouraging word from Charles Spurgeon:

Again, as Jesus did not utter a word against his adversaries, so he did not say a word against any one of us. You remember how Zipporah said to Moses, "Surely a bloody husband art thou to me," as she saw her child bleeding; and surely Jesus might have said to his church, "You are a costly spouse to me, to bring me all this shame and blood-shedding." But he gives liberally, he opens the very fountain of his heart, and he does not scold us. He had counted on paying the ultimate price, and endured the cross, despising the shame.

"This was compassion like a God, That when the Saviour knew The price of pardon was his blood, His pity ne'er withdrew."

C. H. Spurgeon, "The Sheep before the Shearers," in The Metropolitan Tabernacle Pulpit Sermons, vol. 26 (London: Passmore & Alabaster, 1880), 350–351.

Today's Bible readings include Job 20 in which Zophar, Job's friend, will erroneously tell us that the wicked are always punished while on earth, and their plans never succeed in the long run. Luke 6 contains Luke's shortened version of the Beatitudes as well as Jesus' challenge to the Scribes and Pharisees about the Sabbath. 1 Corinthians 7 is a bit of a confusing passage (in places) that has lots of advice on marriage, including: 1. You don't have to get married, but you certainly can if you want to and you must if you are burning with sexual desire. 2. Husbands and wives have authority over each other's bodies. The husband has authority over his wife's body AND the wife has authority over her husband's body. One implication of this principle is that neither party is allowed to withhold regular sex from the other, with the ONLY exception being a mutually agreed upon break in order to more intentionally seek the Lord for a short season. Our focus passage is in Exodus 3 - the famous Burning Bush passage where God calls Moses and sends him to rescue the Hebrews. In this passage, God reveals His name and His nature to Moses in a deeper way than we have seen before, and our big question today is what is God's name, and what does His name mean? Let's read Exodus 3 and then discuss it.

13 Then Moses asked God, "If I go to the Israelites and say to them, 'The God of your fathers has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'What is his name?' what should I tell them?"14 God replied to Moses, "I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: I AM has sent me to you." 15 God also said to Moses, "Say this to the Israelites: The LORD, the God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, has sent me to you. This is my name forever; this is how I am to be remembered in every generation.

Exodus 3:13-15 CSB

14 God replied to Moses, "I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: I AM has sent me to you." 15 God also said to Moses, "Say this to the Israelites: Yahweh, the God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, has sent me to you. This is My name forever; this is how I am to be remembered in every generation. 16 "Go and assemble the elders of Israel and say to them: Yahweh, the God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, has appeared to me and said: I have paid close attention to you and to what has been done to you in Egypt. 17 And I have promised you that I will bring you up from the misery of Egyptto the land of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites, and Jebusites—a land flowing with milk and honey. 18 They will listen to what you say. Then you, along with the elders of Israel, must go to the king of Egypt and say to him: Yahweh, the God of the Hebrews, has met with us. Now please let us go on a three-day trip into the wilderness so that we may sacrifice to Yahweh our God.

Exodus 3:14-18 Holman Christian Standard Bible

First and foremost, I need to point out what appears to be a discrepancy, but actually isn't. The Christian Standard Bible, the translation we are reading through, uses LORD in vs 15 and following of Exodus 3. The Holman Christian Standard Bible, my favorite translation, uses 'Yahweh' in vs. 15 and following. What gives? The answer is that God gives Moses His name - His personal name! - in Exodus 3:14, and that name is Yahweh, in the Hebrew. His name means, "I am that I am," or "I am Because I am." Most modern Bible translations, the King James Bible included, translates 'Yahweh' to LORD with all capitals to indicate that God's name is being used. Why would they do this? There are a few reasons. For one, most modern Bibles are translations, and therefore they seek to translate every word from one language into another. Occasionally that is difficult when faced with Hapax Legomena (as mentioned in episode 47 ) and when faced with difficult or disputed words like Nephilim, discussed in episode #6. In those cases, translators sometimes resort to transliterations, which is an attempt to take the sound of a word in the source language (such as Biblical Hebrew or Greek) and represent it in the target language (such as English.) This obscures the MEANING of the word, but preserves the SOUND of the word. The trouble with doing this with Yahweh is that our original Hebrew Bibles don't have vowel sounds, only consonants. Because the early Hebrews refused to say God's name out loud, we don't know exactly how the name should be pronounced, because we only have the four Hebrew consonants. Let's tag in Gotquestions.org to help us understand this dynamic better:

In the original Hebrew, God's name transliterates to YHWH (sometimes written in the older style as YHVH). This is known as the tetragrammaton (meaning "four letters"). Because of the lack of vowels, Bible scholars debate how the tetragrammaton YHWH was pronounced.The tetragrammaton consists of four Hebrew letters: yodh, he, waw, and then he repeated.

Some versions of the Bible translate the tetragrammaton as "Yahweh" or "Jehovah"; most translate it as "LORD" (all capital letters).Contrary to what some Christians believe (and at least one cult), Jehovah is not the Divine Name revealed to Israel. The name Jehovah is a product of mixing different words and different alphabets of different languages.

Due to a fear of accidentally taking God's name in vain (Leviticus 24:16), the Jews basically quit saying it out loud altogether. Instead, when reading Scripture aloud, the Jews substituted the tetragrammaton YHWH with the word Adonai ("Lord"). Even in the Septuagint (the Greek translation of the Old Testament), the translators substituted Kurios ("Lord") for the Divine Name.

Eventually, the vowels from Adonai ("Lord") or Elohim ("God") found their way in between the consonants of YHWH, thus forming YaHWeH. But this interpolation of vowels does not mean that was how God's name was originally pronounced. In fact, we aren't entirely sure if YHWH should have two syllables or three.Any number of vowel sounds can be inserted within YHWH, and Jewish scholars are as uncertain of the real pronunciation as Christian scholars are. Jehovah is actually a much later (probably 16th-century) variant. The word Jehovah comes from a three-syllable version of YHWH, YeHoWeH. The Y was replaced with a J (although Hebrew does not even have a J sound) and the W with a V, plus the extra vowel in the middle, resulting in JeHoVaH.

https://www.gotquestions.org/YHWH-tetragrammaton.html

God's name is Yahweh, and - even though we don't know exactly how to pronounce it, we know what it means - it means that God is the ONLY non-created, non-caused being in the multiverse. Where did God come from? He is, because He is. Who created God? Nobody - He is because He is. How did God become God - He always has been - He is, because He is. We pointed out in episode #31 of this pod that there are many elohims (spiritual beings/gods with a little 'g') mentioned in the Bible, but there is only ONE Yahweh. He is the GOD above Gods, LORD of all Lords, KING Of Kings. There is no one beside God - He is that He is.

Interestingly, the name 'Jesus,' comes from Yahweh as well. It means, 'Yahweh Saves,' or, 'salvation is of Yahweh.' And one of the most obvious ways that Jesus told us that He was God was by using God's name in John 8. John Piper shared about this in a sermon from 2011, and I think that this will be a good closer for us:

So the Jews said to him, "You are not yet fifty years old, and have you seen Abraham?" Jesus said to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, before Abraham was, I am." So they picked up stones to throw at him, but Jesus hid himself and went out of the temple."

There it is—the clearest, most forthright claim in this Gospel that Jesus is Yahweh, the God of Israel, the great "I am" of Exodus 3:14 and the prophets. If he only wanted to claim pre-existence, he could have said, "Before Abraham was, I was." But he means to say more than mere pre-existence. He says, "Before Abraham was, I am." Exodus 3:14: "God said to Moses, 'I AM WHO I AM.' And he said, 'Say this to the people of Israel, "I AM has sent me to you."' "

John Piper, Sermons from John Piper (2000–2014) (Minneapolis, MN: Desiring God, 2014).

All of the pundits said it couldn't be done. The odds were 3720-1 against, but we have made it to episode #50 of the Daily Bible Reading Podcast. If you've been here from the beginning, pat yourself on the back, but don't get too carried away, because we have some Bible reading and Bible talking to do. Today's passages include: Exodus 2, which introduces us to Moses, one of the most important people in the entire Bible. We will also read Luke 5, in which Jesus calls His twelve disciples and 1 Corinthians 6, in which Paul gives an incredibly strong warning to Christians about sexual immorality. Our focus remains on comforting well those who are suffering, and that means our focus passage for the day is in Job 19, and the very first verses show us how difficult we can make it on our friends who are suffering if we say and do the wrong things (like Job's friends did!)

How long will you torment me and crush me with words? 3 You have humiliated me ten times now, and you mistreat me without shame.

Job 19:2-3

We DO NOT want to be like Job's friends - we want to help those we love who are going through trials, so today we are going to discuss some ways that we can actually comfort the grieving. Let's read our passage in Job first, and then consider how we can walk with the hurting in a helpful way.

For whatever reason, when we are suffering, we often feel alone - even if people are trying to reach us and express love to us. Something about going through acute suffering, grief, depression and pain alienates us from those who aren't going through the same thing. We can see Job expressing the pain from this dynamic in this chapter:

He has removed my brothers from me; my acquaintances have abandoned me. 14 My relatives stop coming by, and my close friends have forgotten me.

Job 19:13-14

Because those who suffer often feel alienated and isolated, we who love them must try extra hard, and persist in trying for a long time, to communicate our love for our friends. With that in mind, here are:

Sometimes you don't have to SAY anything. We all stumble for words when we are interacting with somebody in extreme grief. They are hurting, and we have a natural - and wholesome - instinct to try and comfort them and soothe their pain. I suspect that this dynamic is the main reason why we say so many stupid and inaccurate things to people who are mourning. We want to help, and words are failing us…so we just say something. However, it is far better to say nothing than it is to say something harmful. Remember the example above about the slightly awkward and tall lady at my friend's sister's funeral? That lady had no words, so she just mourned with a mourning mother - in a genuine and quiet way. Shared suffering is powerful - often far more powerful than even the best clichés.

"Remember the prisoners, as though you were in prison with them, and the mistreated, as though you yourselves were suffering bodily."

Hebrews 13:3

The WORD of God is comforting. While I think it is wise to avoid merely quoting a Bible verse to somebody who is suffering (The Word of God is LIVING and ACTIVE and POWERFUL; but treating it like a mere Band-Aid cheapens it somehow) I believe it is powerful to share Scripture with those who are suffering. Not in a drive-by way - but in the context of demonstrating love through time and your presence. In the midst of that - a powerful Scripture like Revelation 21 (quoted below) is indeed comforting and helpful. The truth that one day, God will wipe away every tear is a precious truth. The truth that some people will be crying right up until the point of Jesus' Second Coming and triumphant victory is a sobering reality.

"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will no longer exist; grief, crying, and pain will exist no longer, because the previous things have passed away."

Revelation 21:4

Persist and remember those who have suffered loss, even after a lot of time has passed. Grief is a very, very lonely process, and a very lonely emotion. When you are suffering the grief of the death of a loved one, it often feels like nobody else in the entire world has suffered quite like you are suffering. And that grief lasts a very, very long time. Most friends of people who are mourning will, after a certain amount of time, attempt to bring their relationship with the mourner back to a more normal place. This, in and of itself, is not necessarily a bad thing. As Christians, we DO grieve, but not as those who have no hope. We grieve WITH hope - knowing that God will one day wipe every tear from our eye. That said - we still grieve, and we still remember those whom we have lost. As the friend of somebody in mourning, do them the kindness of remembering their loved one, and remembering that they are probably still in pain. It might be easier to never bring up the departed loved one - perhaps to spare the feelings of your suffering friend - but avoid that temptation. Remember them vocally, and continue to comfort your friend weeks, months and even years after their loss. I close this chapter with two very powerful thoughts on death and mourning from two people whose lives were scorched deeply by it. George Mueller was a mighty man of prayer. In his autobiography, he wrote this paragraph about how God sustained him after the death of his dear wife:

"The last portion of scripture which I read to my precious wife was this: "The Lord God is a sun and shield, the Lord will give grace and glory, no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly." Now, if we have believed in the Lord Jesus Christ, we have received grace, we are partakers of grace, and to all such he will give glory also. I said to myself, with regard to the latter part, "no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly"—I am in myself a poor worthless sinner, but I have been saved by the blood of Christ; and I do not live in sin, I walk uprightly before God. Therefore, if it is really good for me, my darling wife will be raised up again; sick as she is. God will restore her again. But if she is not restored again, then it would not be a good thing for me. And so my heart was at rest. I was satisfied with God. And all this springs, as I have often said before, from taking God at his word, believing what he says."

Jehovah Magnified, by George Mueller, p. 80

Dietrich Bonhoeffer was a German pastor who resisted Hitler and the rise of the Nazi's - a decision which ultimately led to him being executed. He wrote these words while facing death:

"Why are we so afraid when we think about death? Death is only dreadful for those who live in dread and fear of it. Death is not wild and terrible, if only we can be still and hold fast to God's Word. Death is not bitter, if we have not become bitter ourselves. Death is grace, the greatest gift of grace that God gives to people who believe in him. Death is mild, death is sweet and gentle. It beckons to us with heavenly power, if only we realize that it is the gateway to our homeland … Death is hell and night and cold, if it is not transformed by our faith. But that is just what is so marvelous, that we can [by our faith in Christ] transform death."

(Source: Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy. By Eric Metaxes)

Welcome to the Bible Reading Podcast! (Encourage Sharing on SM/Reviews, etc) Today's readings include Exodus Chapter 1 - which means we have completed the entire book of Genesis together - Go team! Sadly for the Israelites (in the short term!), Exodus opens with this ominous bit of foreshadowing in chapter 1, vs. 8, " A new king, who did not know about Joseph, came to power in Egypt." In Luke 4, we will see how Jesus overcomes the attacks of Satan in the desert by the expert use of the Sword of the Word of God. 1 Corinthians 5 is all about church discipline, a biblical practice that is sadly neglected in many of our churches. Our focus remains in Job today, and we will be reading chapters 17 and 18, and asking the question how can we help and encourage the hurting and suffering. As I mentioned yesterday, part of what I'm sharing below is from my first book, Unshackled: Facing Suffering With the Real Jesus (and Not the Shack, or Pop-Culture Christianity,) which holds the Guinness book of World records for longest book by an unknown author.

I have been in pastoral ministry for over twenty-five years, and in that time have ministered to dozens of families who are mourning the death of those nearest to them. Some of the deaths are more…bearable (?) than others, if death can be in any way bearable at all. I've done the funeral for a lovely World War 2 veteran of D-Day who had been married to his wife for roughly 70 years. That was hard, and I am sure it still is for his surviving wife - I cannot imagine being separated from my wife of 20 years - how much more difficult must it be to be separated from a spouse of 70?! This funeral was sad - with much tears and grieving, but also was celebratory - rejoicing in a faithful marriage of almost 70 years, and celebrating the life of a remarkable man who had lived a long and amazing life.

Some of the funerals I have done are nothing but grieving, mourning, tears, tragedy and incredible sadness. Many years ago, while still a young, greenhorn youth minister, I was summoned to the hospital one night due to a wreck involving one of our youth. I will never forget that night - sitting next to this young man's mom and dad, as we awaited news in the waiting room. When the surgeon walked in, he had a grim look on his face, and very coldly and callously told this young man's parents that he had died on the operating table. Though that night was twenty years ago, I can still clearly hear the gut-shredding wail of his mom in my mind, and the look on her face as she mourned the death of her only child. Heartbreaking. Words failed that night. And the surgeon's communication and lack of compassion only added to the misery. (Though I am quite sure he tried his best!)

Another funeral involved a family that I did not know at all - but our church had helped them with food previously, and thus they asked our church to provide a pastor for the funeral. In this particular tragedy, a very young married couple had a lovely baby that was killed one night when the husband got either drunk or stoned (or both) and inadvertently rolled over on the baby that they were co-sleeping with, and smothered him. Both the husband and the wife were at the funeral, as was their family - and they wanted me to share words of comfort and hope into what seemed for all the world like a hopeless situation.

What do we say in situations like these? Maybe you've never faced a scenario like the above, and maybe you aren't in ministry….but I guarantee that you will, multiple times in your life, be the friend or family member of somebody who has lost a loved one to death…and they will look to you for support, love, help and comfort. How do you handle that? What can you say to make things better? Well - here's the thing to remember that is very important: IT IS LIKELY THAT YOU DO NOT HAVE THE POWER IN THAT MOMENT TO MAKE THINGS BETTER. And when we try to make things better, we end up saying things that are factually untrue, or are meaninglessly cliche and in doing so, it is possible that we can make things worse! Let's read our Job passages, and then come back and discuss what we should not say to those who are suffering.

Here are five things that I have heard people actually say to those who are grieving, and a brief word on why to NEVER say these things:

1. "God Needed a new angel in Heaven!" UGH!! Please don't say this - ever, to anybody. First of all, how in the world can this expression, as false as it is, ever be comforting to somebody that has lost a child, or a family member? "God was running short on something, so He - the God of everything who has everything - actually took a child or loved one from me?!" This is a cruel statement, and it is not comforting at all - not in the least. Secondly - it is not even remotely true. The Bible does NOT teach that people become angels when they die…in fact, when Christians die, they become like Jesus - with a body like His! (See Philippians 3:20-21, "But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body." ) Note: Two people in an online internet discussion thread mourning the death of one of my heroes, Steve Irwin, used the "God Needed an Angel" line" Sigh. A direct quote, "to lose a father is something a child should never go through, but today God needed a new angel and he just wanted the best" Please don't use that expression! God does NOT kill people to stock up on angels.
2. "God only takes the best!" This is foolish and illogical, because God takes EVERYBODY. We will all die! (Hebrews 9:27, "it is appointed for man to die once") Please don't tell people that God only takes the best - it just doesn't make any sense, isn't accurate in the least, and is actually incredibly non-comforting and confusing!
3. "Well, at least you…" OR: "Be thankful that…" There are many ways that this phrase ends, but most of the time it begins the same way: "At least you still have your other children!" "At least you still have your husband/wife/dog/Playstation 4!" "At least you had a few years with them before they left!" "Be thankful that they didn't have too suffer long!" None of these phrases are comforting, and they are all ultimately quite petty. Essentially, the message is: "Stop whining about this death, and be happy, because you are making me unhappy/uncomfortable!" If you are tempted to try to console somebody with a sentence that begins, "At least you…" then please, stop and reconsider. And yes, while it is good to be thankful always - ordering a grieving person to be thankful is insensitive and unaware of the Ecclesiastes 3:4 dynamic. There is indeed a time to rejoice and a time to mourn. It is right, good and biblical for us to mourn, so don't try to steer people away from mourning - mourn with them!
4. "I know how you feel…" We are humans and we often think in metaphors and comparisons. Mourning death is one of those places where we should avoid this at all costs. When somebody has lost a child, the only people who TRULY know at least a little bit about how they feel are other people who have lost a child. When somebody has lost a parent, or a spouse, again, the only people who know how they feel are people who have lost a parent or a child. If you are comforting somebody who is mourning a loss that is exactly like one you have experienced, then it is kind and comforting and soothing to share your grief with them - but even then, it is rarely encouraging to use the phrase, "I Know how you feel." Be very careful with this expression, as you really don't know how that person is feeling. Even though their situation might look on the surface exactly the same as one you have been through, chances are that there are many differences beneath the surface.
5. "God has a plan…" YES! God does indeed have a plan. He is completely sovereign and in control. His sovereignty isn't harsh, and He loves us with an everlasting and unfathomable love, even when we walk through the valley of the shadow of death. And yet - if somebody doesn't have a very deep biblical understanding of the loving nature of God and His sovereignty, then this statement isn't comforting at all. Even for those who do understand such passages as Romans 8:28-29 in a very deep way - the phrase, "God has a plan." can be a little flummoxing. Why does God's plan involve the death of my loved one? God does indeed have a plan, but those words aren't the best words to comfort somebody who is suffering in the moment. Can you imagine Peter and John comforting Jesus, as He prayed with agony in the Garden of Gethsemane, with this line?

   So - those are some phrases that really should be avoided. In fact - the whole idea that we can share a sentence or two with somebody and actually help/comfort them is an idea which, with perhaps rare exceptions, should be avoided. Grieving with those who grieve rarely involves the sharing of a pithy saying or two. Rather, grieving with those who grieve far more often involves walking beside them, listening to them, praying for them, crying with them and just simply being there. Those who are suffering don't often need a sentence or two saying to feel better. They need something far deeper than that. On tomorrow's episode #50, we will cover some helpful things to say to those who are suffering, and some helpful ways to say those things. Hope you can join us then! For now, I will close with this great quote from Nancy Guthrie's article on comforting those who are grieving:

But here's the truth. When you've gone through the loss of a loved one, it's almost as if there is a barrier put up between you and every person in your world. And it's not until that person acknowledges your loss that that barrier comes down. And it doesn't have to be anything brilliant.

And sometimes it can even be wordless. I can think of times when I was going through grief when someone just came next to me and squeezed my hand or gave me even a knowing look, with that sense of, "I know what's going on, and I'm sad and I'm in a sense speechless."|

And then one of the really beautiful things some people did was actually weep in my presence. And I know that sounds awkward for some people — I think especially men. I know for my husband, he wouldn't say, "Wow, I was really hoping people would come and cry with me." That wasn't the form his grief took.

But for many of us, when you're carrying this huge load of sorrow and you look up, and you see someone who is shedding tears — that they are so identifying with your loss that they are in a sense carrying some of the load of sorrow for you — that's an incredible gift to give to someone who's grieving.

https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/what-do-we-say-to-grieving-people

Happy Monday, friends! I want to open with a shoutout to Willem Dykstra of Minnesota, who left an encouraging iTunes review, "Excellent podcast and edifying for anyone that seeks to be in God's Word daily. Also entertaining Chase could be an actor in movie or stage or at least a voice actor" Thank you, Mr. Dykstra!

Today's Bible readings include Genesis 50, a chapter that spans a long chronological period and sees the burial of Jacob, Joseph forgiving his brothers who sold him into slavery, and the death of Joseph himself. Luke 3 is all about John The Baptist's ministry, his baptism of Jesus, and his ultimate arrest for daring to call out a political leader for sinful behavior. In 1 Corinthians 4, the apostle Paul discusses humility, and delivers this powerful line, "The Kingdom of God is not a matter of talk, but of power." Our focus passage today is in Job 16. and is based on Job's deeply painful lamentation that his friends are 'miserable comforters,' rather than encouragers:

You are all miserable comforters. 3 Is there no end to your empty words? What provokes you that you continue testifying? 4 If you were in my place I could also talk like you. I could string words together against you and shake my head at you. 5 Instead, I would encourage you with my mouth, and the consolation from my lips would bring relief.

Job 16:2-5

"Grief is a very lonely experience. You know, even if all your friends are there for you in the best way possible — your spouse is there for you, all of those things — the essence of grief is a deep, pervasive loneliness. And it means so much for people around us to overcome the awkwardness — and maybe even the desire and fears that I'll say the wrong thing — to say something. Honestly, the most painful thing is when you've had a loss and someone around you—because of the awkwardness — never acknowledges it. That's what hurts the most. Because what it says to you is that person you love who died doesn't even really merit a mention. And that's devastating….But for many of us, when you're carrying this huge load of sorrow and you look up, and you see someone who is shedding tears — that they are so identifying with your loss that they are in a sense carrying some of the load of sorrow for you — that's an incredible gift to give to someone who's grieving."

https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/what-do-we-say-to-grieving-people "What Do We Say to Grieving People?"

Our question of the day is all about how we can help, encourage and comfort those who are going through difficult times. Part of what I'm sharing below is from my first book, Unshackled: Facing Suffering With the Real Jesus (and Not the Shack, or Pop-Culture Christianity.) Yes, that is the real title of the book, and yes it is way too long of a title. Like I said, it was my first book, but William Shakespeare said it was the best book ever written in the English language. Or maybe he didn't, I've heard it both ways.

Suffering is difficult to go through. I imagine I've just blown your mind with that profound statement. But it might be good for us to acknowledge how hard suffering is - especially suffering that stretches on for days and weeks and months. When we suffer, we long to feel better. When our friends suffer, we want to help them, and that is a good thing, obviously, if that desire to help our friends comes from a loving concern for their well-being. Far too often, I have seen Christians make a bad situation worse by poorly chosen words or empty "greeting card" style sentiments. The fact is that when our friends and family suffers, we suffer...and we don't want to suffer, so sometimes - selfishly - we want our friends and family to stop suffering so that WE will feel better. And that leads us to say dumb things like, 'cheer up,' or 'wipe that frown off your face,' or, 'God needed a new angel in Heaven,' or some dreck like that. Sometimes we fail to be good comforters because we simply want those suffering around us to stop suffering, because they are harshing our mellow. Other times, we are like Job's friends, and we fail to properly comfort people because we make false assumptions, make arrogant statements, or just plain say dumb and inaccurate things. Let's read Job 16 now, and see how our friends can be impacted when we are 'miserable comforters,' instead of healing helpers.

Romans 12:15 is one of the most powerful, profound and short verses in the Bible on real friendship and ministry to people in general.

Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep.

Romans 12:15

I was recently in a position of suffering, and was profoundly helped by friends and brothers and sisters in Christ. As I mentioned a few days ago, I spent a night in the hospital last week. I thought it was a big deal, but it ended up being tachycardia brought on by some medication I take to treat my relatively mild asthma. At one point, however, I thought I was having a heart attack. (I wasn't!) and my wife was visiting friends and family back in our home state of Alabama 2,200 miles away. I was in a pretty anxious state, and my wife didn't know how to help. So - she made what ended up being a very wise and helpful decision. She called our friend and church member Kevin Low and told him what was going on. A short while later, Kevin was at the hospital, and he stayed with me for hours. Literally. I encouraged him to go home several times as it got later and later, but he stayed with me until well after 1 AM, when I was good and settled in a room.

I'll never forget that act of kindness. It's not so much that Kevin knew exactly the right things to say (though he did a very good job of that!) but it was his presence that made the difference. Other friends came too, and I am grateful for their ministry. None of them were pastors, and none of them were professional-hospital-visitors, but they all did a wonderful job of communicating God's love and grace to me by their mere presence. We sometimes don't help people who are suffering because we don't know the precise words to say, but generally speaking, its not about that at all. When somebody is going through a crisis - it is not your WORDS of wisdom that they need, but your PRESENCE and your LOVE expressed in obvious ACTION. The book of Job is very, VERY clear that we aren't always going to understand our suffering and the reasons behind it. It is also very, VERY clear that trying to explain the reasons for something that ONLY God understands is folly, and likely to earn the wrath of God and increase the misery of your friends. If you don't know the right things to say, just stand in the right place. (Nearby!)

Recently, my wife and I went to the funeral of one of our dear friend's sisters. She died suddenly, and her mother, Mrs. Martin, was left to bury her daughter - something that often happens in this cruel world, but should never, ever happen. Mrs. Martin is a Godly, vibrant and joyful woman who has hundreds of friends through the church that she has been a member of for almost 30 years. The visitation for the funeral was quite crowded, and Mrs. Martin - though herself suffering the loss of her youngest daughter - was kindly ministering to everybody that had come to see her. She was hugging them all and smiling at them - deeply grieving inside, but not so much on the surface. I watched as one of her friends walked up to her; one more mourner in an extremely long line of friends. This friend was a tall woman that seemed a bit awkward. She said nothing, but simply leaned over and hugged Mrs. Martin and cried - not gentle and appropriate tears, and not loud and attention grabbing tears…but deep, heartfelt tears that came from a genuine place of mourning. The two ladies just hugged and cried for quite some time - no words were said. As the taller lady walked away, she noticed one of her friends in the line, and looked at her friend and simply said, "I didn't know what to say, so I just cried." Though there is no way to know for sure, I believe that this lady - out of hundreds of people that came to the funeral that day to comfort Mrs. Martin - was probably one of the most comforting by far. No words were exchanged - but it was obvious to an outside observer how much it meant to Mrs. Martin to have somebody actually weep with her.

This will be a topic that we will explore tomorrow, and maybe the day after that - the call to comfort the suffering is important enough to warrant a few days of focus for us, especially as we behold the day by day botched job of Job's friends in that department. I'll close with an encouragement from one of my heroes of the faith, George Muller:

"When sometimes all has been dark, exceedingly dark, with reference to my service among the saints, judging from natural appearances; yea, when I should have been overwhelmed indeed in grief and despair, had I looked at things after the outward appearance; at such times I have sought to encourage myself in God, by laying hold in faith on His mighty power, His unchangeable love, and His infinite wisdom, and I have said to myself: God is able and willing to deliver me, if it be good for me; for it is written: "He that spared not His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?" Romans 8:32."

http://chaseathompson.com/2017/02/10/comforting-mourn-ten-encouraging-quotes-grief/