Beat Motel Zine

Welcome back to another bout of semi-coherent audio chaos from Beat Motel. This week, Andrew Culture and Dr Sam sit down to tackle the bald, synth-twiddling enigma that is Brian Eno. Is he the high priest of sonic experimentation, or did he spend five decades convincing the music industry that ambient drone farts are high art?

Along the way, the conversation violently derails into Suffolk nuclear fallout, trombone virgins, and why American airmen were the best thing to happen to rural British jukeboxes.

What gets dragged through the dirt this episode:

• The Portsmouth Symphonia: What happens when total incompetence collides with maximum enthusiasm and a clarinet.
• Sizewell A: Growing up next to a nuclear reactor, swimming in warm cooling-water runoff, and accidentally punching jellyfish.
• American Air Force bases: How Bentwaters, Woodbridge, and Geno Washington saved teenage Brian Eno from a life of Lonnie Donegan.
• Devo passive aggression: Eno staying up all night recording lush synth pads, only for Devo to wake up early and silently delete the lot.
• The Great U2 Tackle: Eno getting so sick of guitar delay tweaks on The Joshua Tree that he tried to erase the 24-track tape, only to get rugby-tackled by an engineer carrying a tea tray.
• Turning down Anthony Kiedis: Why the Red Hot Chilli Peppers asked Eno to produce them eight times, and why he kept saying no.
• The 3.25-second payday: Composing the Windows 95 start sound on an Apple Mac after 84 attempts.
• Smuggling his own urine: Completing Marcel Duchamp's artistic loop in a London gallery.
• Studio perfume: Trying to formulate a scent that sits somewhere between fresh violets and two-stroke racing motorbikes.
• The Exit Exam: Sammyplops actually manages to remember things, despite Andrew's best efforts.

Amazing additional voice clips provided by Voiceover Artist Martin Whiskin - https://www.martinwhiskin.co.uk/

SOURCES

Woodbridge USAF Bases & Jukebox Culture: Brian Eno grew up near RAF Bentwaters and RAF Woodbridge, where American servicemen stocked local café jukeboxes with US rhythm & blues and doo-wop that had not yet reached British radio. Eno discussed this history with Iggy Pop on BBC Radio 6 Music.https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001dbbv

Geno Washington Stationed at RAF Bentwaters: Before fronting the Ram Jam Band in London, soul singer Geno Washington was an active USAF airman stationed at RAF Bentwaters and RAF Woodbridge in the early 1960s.https://www.blackusaf.org/genowashington

Ipswich Art School Cybernetics & "Anti-Personality" Experiments: At Ipswich Civic College (1964–1966), tutor Roy Ascott ran the experimental cybernetic "Groundcourse," placing students in dark rooms and assigning them an "anti-personality" to break creative habits—the direct conceptual foundation for Oblique Strategies.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roy_Ascott

The Portsmouth Sinfonia & The Clarinet: Gavin Bryars founded the orchestra in 1970 for complete non-musicians or musicians playing unfamiliar instruments; Eno played clarinet on their recordings and produced their 1974 release "Portsmouth Sinfonia Plays the Popular Classics." https://www.theguardian.com/music/2020/jul/20/the-worlds-worst-orchestra-the-bizarre-story-of-the-portsmouth-sinfonia

Devo Erasing Eno's Synthesizers (1978): While producing "Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo!" at Conny Plank's studio in Germany, Eno secretly added synth layers overnight, and Devo snuck into the control room while he slept to erase them to preserve their dry, robotic guitar sound.https://www.soundonsound.com/techniques/classic-tracks-devo-are-we-not-men

The U2 Master Tape Erase Incident (1986): Frustrated by weeks of stagnation during The Joshua Tree sessions for "Where the Streets Have No Name," Eno prepared to wipe the master tape to force a fresh start and was physically restrained by engineer Pat McCarthy.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Where_the_Streets_Have_No_Name

Rejecting the Red Hot Chili Peppers: Anthony Kiedis confirmed that the Red Hot Chili Peppers repeatedly approached Brian Eno to produce their records across their career (up to eight times), and Eno turned them down each time with polite handwritten letters.https://www.theguardian.com/music/musicblog/2016/feb/19/david-bowie-dave-grohl-coldplay-10-things-turned-down

Tape Loops Around Office Chairs (Music for Airports): To generate asynchronous, phasing ambient cycles without digital automation, Eno ran 30-foot loops of 1/4-inch magnetic tape around tubular aluminium office chairs positioned across Conny Plank's studio floor.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambient_1:_Music_for_Airports

Windows 95 Startup Chime Created on an Apple Mac: Microsoft commissioned a 3.25-second chime matching 20 adjectives; Eno wrote 84 variations and composed the entire PC startup sequence using an Apple Macintosh.https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0110dmh

Marcel Duchamp Urinal Urination Incident: In his 1995 diary "A Year with Swollen Appendices," Eno documented smuggling a vial of his own urine into the Museum of Modern Art to pour it onto Marcel Duchamp's "Fountain" to protest it being displayed behind glass.https://greg.org/archive/2022/11/15/did-brian-eno-really-piss-in-duchamps-fountain.html

James: The Double-Album Ambush (Laid and Wah Wah): In 1993 at Real World Studios, while tracking the pop record "Laid" in Studio A, Eno secretly ran improvised jam sessions in Studio B and assembled them into the ambient companion album "Wah Wah." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WahWah(album

The Long Now 10,000-Year Clock Chimes: Commissioned by The Long Now Foundation, Eno engineered an algorithmic bell chime sequence designed to calculate a unique, non-repeating melody for every single day across 10 millennia (over 3.65 million variations).https://longnow.org/clock/

The Fragrance Lab ("Violets & Racing Motorbikes"): Eno keeps an aroma chemical library in his studio, treating scent notes like acoustic frequencies and pursuing scent pairings such as violet mixed with racing motorbike exhaust.https://noblerot.co.uk/post/brian-eno

Richard O'Brien / Riff Raff Visual Gag: Richard O'Brien played Riff Raff in The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975), featuring the balding dome, pale skin, and long bleached-blonde side hair that closely mirrors Eno's 1973–1974 glam look.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rocky_Horror_Picture_Show

In this episode of Beat Motel, Andrew hands over the reins to Dr. Sam for a deep dive into the legendary, prison-escaping, 6-string wielding titan that is Huddie "Leadbelly" Ledbetter .

We wade through the chaotic history of his iconic 1940 RCA Victor sessions for The Midnight Special and Other Southern Prison Songs, explore how he basically invented modern pop, folk, skiffle, and rock music, and debate whether the neighbour's family in The Good Life made their money from slavery . Along the way, we hit the Portsmouth Sinfonia , the Lomax family's questionable white-saviour complex , Kurt Cobain's obsessed cover era , Bertolt Brecht's weird German poetry , and a Brazilian Jewish kids' cover of Pick a Bale of Cotton that nearly caused a heart attack in the editing suite .

It is rough, informative, completely off the rails, and full of musical detritus. Put it in your ears.

Amazing additional voice clips provided by Voiceover Artist Martin Whiskin - https://www.martinwhiskin.co.uk/

Indie music didn't start in a damp Manchester rehearsal room with a bunch of miserable lads wearing oversized raincoats. It was pinched straight from Motown.

In this episode, Andrew Culture and Dr Sam trace the line connecting Detroit's assembly lines, Peckham bedrooms, and sweaty, talcum-powdered floors in Wigan to show how Northern Soul accidentally birthed British indie, Britpop, and baggy culture.

We cover:

• The Peckham militant who ran a Motown fan club, bought records for Paul McCartney, and told Mick Jagger to jog off.

• Why Barry Gordy tried to destroy every copy of a song that later sold for £100,000.

• How The Smiths, The Charlatans, and Soft Cell basically owe their entire careers to American soul B-sides.

• 7:50AM end-of-night rituals and the birth of UK music tribalism.

Amazing additional voice clips provided by Voiceover Artist Martin Whiskin - https://www.martinwhiskin.co.uk/

CITATION LINKS

1. Dave Godin, Northern Soul & His Legacy Dave Godin's Guardian obituary detailing his civil rights activism, founding the Tamla Motown Appreciation Society, coining "Northern Soul," and his ashes being scattered at Wigan Casino: https://www.theguardian.com/news/2004/oct/20/guardianobituaries.artsobituaries

BFI documentation on Dave Godin and the history of the Northern Soul movement: https://www.bfi.org.uk/features/northern-soul-brief-history

1. The Twisted Wheel & Manchester Soul History BBC archive detailing Manchester's Twisted Wheel as the original birthplace of Northern Soul: https://www.bbc.co.uk/manchester/content/articles/2008/10/09/twisted_wheel_feature.shtml

The official Manchester Digital Music Archive entries on The Twisted Wheel's history: https://www.mdmarchive.co.uk/venue/the-twisted-wheel

1. The £100,000 Frank Wilson Record BBC News report on the history of Frank Wilson's "Do I Love You (Indeed I Do)" and its record-breaking auction sale: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-53603417

2. Wigan Casino & The "Three Before 12" Ritual The Guardian's retrospective on the Wigan Casino all-nighters and the 7:50 AM end-of-night ritual: https://www.theguardian.com/music/2013/sep/19/wigan-casino-northern-soul

3. Andy Rourke, The Smiths & James Jamerson MusicRadar / Bass Player interview archive where Andy Rourke breaks down his Motown influences and James Jamerson's impact on his basslines: https://www.musicradar.com/news/bass/andy-rourke-on-the-smiths-basslines-gear-and-johnny-marr-611116

4. Soft Cell & Gloria Jones Official Charts history of Soft Cell's "Tainted Love" taking Gloria Jones' 1965 Northern Soul track to UK #1 in 1981: https://www.officialcharts.com/chart-news/flashback-1981-soft-cell-tainted-love__23725/

5. The Charlatans & Madchester's Soul Roots Tim Burgess interview discussing the soul and organ roots behind "The Only One I Know": https://www.clashmusic.com/features/in-conversation-tim-burgess/

6. Fatboy Slim & Just Brothers Sampling Bridge WhoSampled technical breakdown showing Norman Cook sampling Just Brothers' 1965 track "Sliced Tomatoes" for "The Rockafeller Skank": https://www.whosampled.com/sample/2015/Fatboy-Slim-The-Rockafeller-Skank-Just-Brothers-Sliced-Tomatoes/

So, what do you actually know about pirates ? Probably nothing, considering most of your historical knowledge comes from Johnny Depp, Disney rides, and an actor in the 1950s laying the West Country accent on way too thick .

In this episode, Andrew Culture and Dr Sam derail the podcast train immediately to talk about DIY studio tape failures, prison etiquette, whether female pirates fought with their tits out, and how Henry Avery managed to nick £100 million before vanishing into thin air like a proper legend . They also dive into why keytars in metal bands are a crime against humanity, why accordions have no business being associated with 17th-century sea shanties, and the terrifying reality of a dirty butt plug left at an Ipswich bus stop .

It's educational, it's completely unnecessary, and it's mostly accurate if you don't ask a real historian .

Amazing additional voice clips provided by Voiceover Artist Martin Whiskin - https://www.martinwhiskin.co.uk/

What do a 13-year-old Phil Collins, a violent music manager dangling people off balconies, and a psychedelic album packaged in a tobacco tin have in common? They are all part of the completely unhinged history of The Small Faces.

In this episode of Beat Motel, Andrew and Gimby (yes, he's back) dig into the story of Steve Marriott—arguably the greatest white soul singer the UK ever produced—and how his career peak might have actually been playing the Artful Dodger in 1960. We talk about Don Arden (Sharon Osbourne's notoriously terrifying dad), fixing the charts with mod networks, paying for suits with stolen royalties, and why putting an LP in a round tin is a structural disaster for record shop shelves. There's also some completely unnecessary sidetracks about Sting's real name, Rod Stewart's tight trousers, and a random bloke named Chris walking into the studio mid-record.

Amazing additional voice clips provided by Voiceover Artist Martin Whiskin - https://www.martinwhiskin.co.uk/

YouTube Video Description The bizarre history of the 1960s mod scene and the absolute chaos behind the music industry.

In this episode, we chart the rise and fall of The Small Faces, from their childhood theatrical roots to becoming rock icons—all while getting completely fleeced by their management.

Discover how future stars like Phil Collins and Davy Jones are linked through a single West End musical, how chart-fixing actually worked in the 60s, and why Don Arden was known as the 'Al Capone of Pop' (hint: it involves dangling rival executives by their ankles from four floors up).

🚀 Binge more chaotic music chat here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWvEIcKhJxA&list=PLwnzX0gT6IrcZqrF2Xslb19NiBRgd9rj9

Timestamps / Chapters: 00:00 The Best White Soul Voice in the UK 05:30 Steve Marriott, Phil Collins, and Oliver! 16:40 Davy Jones and The Beatles on Ed Sullivan 24:30 What Exactly is a Mod "Face"? 31:30 Meeting in a Music Bar & Rehearsing with Iron Maiden 44:00 Don Arden: The Al Capone of Pop 53:30 Ripped Off on Carnaby Street 58:30 The Balcony Incident (Ankle Tones) 01:08:00 Ogdens' Nut Gone Flake & The Round Tin Disaster 01:19:30 Enter Rod Stewart & The Faces 01:29:00 The Grim End of Steve Marriott 01:36:00 Gimby's Pop Quiz

Amazing additional voice clips provided by Voiceover Artist Martin Whiskin - https://www.martinwhiskin.co.uk/

#smallfaces #stevemarriott #60smusic #modculture #rockhistory

Fact 1: Steve Marriott and Phil Collins both played the Artful Dodger in the West End production of Oliver!

• https://fishtailparkas.com/steve-marriott-the-immortal-artful-dodger/
• https://www.discogs.com/release/5650375-Steve-Marriott-Ian-Carmichael-Joyce-Blair-David-Hovell-Mike-Sammes-Oliver-The-Original-1960-New-Thea
• https://hipquotient.com/from-artful-dodgers-to-artful-rockers/
• https://www.jackwild.info/theatre-work/
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artful_Dodger
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phil_Collins
• https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0550203/

Fact 2: Davy Jones played the Artful Dodger in the West End and transferred to Broadway, appearing on The Ed Sullivan Show the same night as the Beatles

• https://www.ibdb.com/broadway-cast-staff/davy-jones-491918
• https://broadway.fandom.com/wiki/Oliver!
• https://ovrtur.com/production/2883682/trivia
• https://www.masterworksbroadway.com/blog/oliver-is-golden/
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Consider_Yourself

Fact 3: Seeing the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan Show inspired Davy Jones to pursue pop stardom

• https://theweek.com/articles/477499/davy-jones-19452012
• https://www.wbur.org/hereandnow/2012/03/01/davy-jones-broadway
• http://www.meetthebeatlesforreal.com/2014/02/the-other-performers.html
• https://www.edsullivan.com/davy-jones-on-the-ed-sullivan-show/
• https://www.billboard.com/articles/news/502986/monkees-singer-davy-jones-dead-at-66

Fact 4: Davy Jones received a Tony nomination (not a win) for Best Featured Actor for his Broadway debut in Oliver! (1963)

• https://www.broadway.com/buzz/160327/davy-jones-tony-nominee-and-member-of-the-monkees-dies-at-age-66/
• https://www.biography.com/musicians/davy-jones
• https://www.britannica.com/biography/Davy-Jones-British-singer-and-actor
• https://playbill.com/article/davy-jones-member-of-the-monkees-and-a-tony-nominee-for-oliver-dead-at-66-com-187950
• https://www.ibdb.com/broadway-cast-staff/davy-jones-491918
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Davy_Jones_(musician)

Fact 5: Small Faces formation -- Marriott and Lane met at J60 Music Bar in 1965; the band name combined their physical stature with mod slang for a style leader

• https://rock.fandom.com/wiki/Small_Faces
• https://memories.fandom.com/wiki/Small_Faces
• https://www.goldminemag.com/articles/the-small-faces-story-was-just-one-chapter-for-the-band/
• https://www.thesmallfaces.com/biography/
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Small_Faces
• https://www.psaudio.com/blogs/copper/about-faces-and-the-small-faces/

Fact 6: Steve Marriott's voice was a cited influence on Robert Plant, Paul Stanley, Ozzy Osbourne and others

• https://iconoclassicrecords.com/artist/steve-marriott/
• https://www.alternativenation.net/paul-stanley-shocked-by-sxuality-of-robert-plant/
• https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/the-rock-singer-robert-plant-said-that-was-too-good/
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Marriott_discography

Fact 7: Don Arden, the Decca deal, and the exploitation of the Small Faces (including the Carnaby Street clothing accounts charged back against earnings)

• https://grokipedia.com/page/Don_Arden
• https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/don-arden-notorious-gangster-black-sabbath/
• https://www.indiewire.com/news/general/r-i-p-don-arden-221732/
• https://theelonetwork.weebly.com/the-don-arden-story.html
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_Arden
• https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1563185/trivia/
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Small_Faces_(1967_album)
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patterns_(Small_Faces_song)
• https://bestclassicbands.com/small-faces-lineup-8-6-16/
• https://rockandrollogist.wordpress.com/2020/10/29/don-ardens-offices/
• https://www.thelineofbestfit.com/features/interviews/small-faces-interview-85478
• https://www.artgalleryclothing.co.uk/the-small-face/
• https://drownedinsound.com/in_depth/4144640-the-best-dressed-band-in-england-dis-meets-kenney-jones-of-the-small-faces-amp-the-who

Fact 8: Sharon Osbourne is Don Arden's daughter; Peter Grant learned the business under Arden before managing Led Zeppelin

• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sharon_Osbourne
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_Arden
• https://www.loudersound.com/features/sharon-osbourne-i-got-f-cking-loud-because-i-needed-to-be-heard
• https://inthepitmanagement.wixsite.com/mysite/post/notable-artist-manager-relationships-led-zeppelin-peter-grant
• https://www.billboard.com/music/music-news/warren-grant-interview-son-led-zeppelin-manager-peter-grant-documentary-7424097/
• https://bravewords.com/news/legendary-led-zeppelin-manager-to-be-subject-of-new-documentary

Fact 9: Robert Stigwood -- who he was and why the Arden incident matters

• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Stigwood
• https://www.televisionacademy.com/bios/robert-stigwood
• https://grokipedia.com/page/Robert_Stigwood
• https://www.hypebot.com/legendary-manager-producer-robert-stigwood-passes/
• https://alchetron.com/Robert-Stigwood

Fact 10: Ogdens' Nut Gone Flake -- Stanley Unwin narration, the Spike Milligan near-miss, Unwinese origins, and the tobacco tin packaging

• https://ultimateclassicrock.com/small-faces-ogdens-nut-gone-flake/
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ogdens'_Nut_Gone_Flake
• https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Music/OgdensNutGoneFlake
• https://www.loudersound.com/features/totally-gone-the-story-of-the-small-faces-psychedelic-masterpiece-ogdens-nut-gone-flake
• https://www.psychedelicbabymag.com/2014/02/small-faces-ogdens-nut-gone-flake-1968.html
• https://anorakthing.blogspot.com/2014/09/professor-stanley-unwins-uk-45.html
• https://www.loudersound.com/features/small-faces-ogdens-nut-gone-flake-cover
• https://www.thisdayinmusic.com/classic-albums/the-small-faces-ogdens-nut-gone-flake/

Fact 11: Why Marriott left the Small Faces -- the Frampton tension, songwriting resentment, the unplayable album, the chart flop, and the financial mess

• https://www.mojo4music.com/articles/stories/why-the-small-faces-split-up/
• https://www.thisdayinmusic.com/stairway-to-heaven/steve-marriott/
• https://ultimateclassicrock.com/steve-marriott-leaves-small-faces/
• https://whynow.co.uk/read/steve-marriott-small-faces-to-humble-pie
• https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/tragic-death-small-faces-steve-marriott/

Fact 12: The Faces rebrand -- dropping the "Small", the "Quite Melon" near-name, and the US "Small Faces" album mistake

• https://kenneyjones.com/music/the-faces/
• https://www.theofficialfaces.com/biography/
• https://americansongwriter.com/ronnie-wood-shares-the-story-of-how-he-and-rod-stewart-helped-form-the-faces-after-steve-marriott-quit-the-small-faces/
• http://www.rocknrollspotlight.com/?p=529
• https://www.bandsintown.com/a/15833-faces

Fact 13: The death of Steve Marriott -- 20 April 1991, Arkesden, Essex; the timeline, the wrong-turn detail, and the broke-and-distrustful context

• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Marriott
• https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/tragic-death-small-faces-steve-marriott/
• https://onlyrocknrollsite.wordpress.com/2016/04/21/the-tragic-death-of-steve-marriott/
• https://www.upi.com/Archives/1991/04/20/Fire-kills-60s-pop-music-star-Steve-Marriott/3707672120000/
• https://variety.com/1991/scene/people-news/steve-marriott-99126370/
• https://www.deseret.com/1991/4/21/18916534/60s-pop-star-perishes-in-london-area-cottage-fire/

Fact 14: The Small Faces' influence on later British bands -- Weller/The Jam, Blur, Oasis, Ocean Colour Scene and the wider mod/Britpop lineage

• https://likefm.org/podcast/64794/paul-weller (Weller naming "Tin Soldier" on Desert Island Discs)
• https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1418226.Here_Come_The_Nice (Weller's Small Faces songbook)
• https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/the-jam-influences/pl.8a3af71fe28946eba47d1194e339d6f2
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Universal_(Small_Faces_song) (Blur homage)
• https://secondhandsongs.com/performance/200144 (Marriott memorial "Tin Soldier" with Weller and Noel Gallagher)
• https://www.pressreader.com/uk/stirling-observer/20170929/282046212293990 (All or Nothing musical lineage)
• https://danielrachel.com/writings/ocean-colour-scene-moseley-shoals/
• https://www.elsewhere.co.nz/absoluteelsewhere/3138/ocean-colour-scene-interviewed-1996-take-it-to-the-top/ (OCS covering "Song of a Baker")
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Riverboat_Song (the "Four Sticks" riff caveat)

Did the ancient Egyptians have B major, or were they just really into papyrus condoms? This week, Andrew and his resident logic-botherer Sam attempt to dissect the musical history of ancient Egypt, mostly concluding that three thousand years of history can't quite be summed up by Bruce Dickinson or an overly loud 90s metal kick drum.

Expect a completely uncalled-for bass-tuning intermission, a deep dive into why the 'Woke Police' banned The Bangles after 9/11, and the shocking revelation that ancient Greek war music sounds a bit too much like an Offspring track. We also listen to some genuine electronic pioneer madness involving barking dogs and celestial shapes, plus a bit of Coptic embalming music that sounds exactly like a knife going into some pharaoh's guts. It's educational, it's chaotic, and Andrew actually learns what a pentatonic scale is (sort of).

In a desperate bid to look like we know what we are talking about, we have overhauled the format. This week, Andrew drags a bewildered Dr. Sam through 1980s Liverpool to discuss why a three time Oscar winner spent his youth hiding in a camouflage suit.

We are diving deep into:

• The Scouse Trinity: Exploring the "Crucial Three".

• Julian Cope's Fear of the Floor: Why he performed on step ladders because he felt the floor was too dangerous.

• The Mysterious Drum Machine: The story behind the machine they called "Echo".

• The Big Lie: How they admitted the drum machine story was just a way to mess with journalists.

• "Caramelised Hair": The era of sugar-styling that attracted swarms of flies and smelled like a burnt bakery.

• The Cosmic Gateway: The time Bill Drummond decided a manhole cover in Matthew Street was a cosmic gateway to Iceland.

It is peak 80s chaos, involving more sugar and camouflage netting than a primary school bake sale in a war zone.

• "The Killing Moon": The one Ian McCulloch insists was written by God, though it is actually the intro to Space Oddity played backwards.

• "The Cutter": The band at the absolute peak of their 80s powers.

• "People Are Strange": The Joel Schumacher and Lost Boys payday produced by Ray Manzarek of The Doors.

• "Over the Wall": A masterpiece from their very dark, silhouette-heavy period.

• "Brussels is Haunted": The sound of the band in 2026, because they are still at it.

Viking metal is a sad parody of music. Or at least, that's how Andrew starts this episode before Sam drags him through a hedge of historical facts. In a bold new format where one of us actually prepares and the other just reacts with increasing confusion, Dr. Sam (our resident academic-lite) guides us through the reality of Viking influence on music. We cover why Wagner is responsible for the horn-helmet lie, why Led Zeppelin is basically a Viking recruitment brochure, and why the Harp Twins might be the most terrifying thing we've ever watched. We also learn that real Vikings probably sounded less like growling Swedes and more like barking dogs. If you've ever wanted to know about Viking divorce laws, fossilized worms, or why the Finns freaked everyone out, this is the rambling mess you've been waiting for.

Right, here we go. In this episode, Andrew and Dr. Sam tackle 'Foreign Music'—which is basically just a fancy way of saying 'songs where we don't understand the words'. We kick things off with an enormous tube of lube and some fizzy water that's apparently trying to destroy Andrew's teeth.

The lads dive into the archives to discuss why the British are so terrified of music that isn't in English, the mystery of Joe Strummer's 'garbled nonsense' Spanish on 'Should I Stay or Should I Go', and the revelation that Plastic Bertrand was basically a French Milli Vanilli on a trampoline. Dr. Sam tries to bring some 'academic' weight to the proceedings by reading high-brow philosophy about repetition, while Andrew just wants to talk about Nena's bass player and why subscription underpants are a recipe for disaster. Expect tangents on Star Trek moral codes, stealing cars you can't drive, and the universal truth that everyone eventually gets 'yogurt chucked up' at them.

• Dr Sam's Riff: Elvin Jones - 'The Prime Element'
• Andrew's Riff: Rebekah - 'Synthetic Collapse'

• The Clash - 'Should I Stay or Should I Go'
• Magma - 'Hortz fur dehn stekehn west'
• Pixvae - 'La Fuga'
• Mc Solaar - 'Qui seme le vent recolte le tempo'

• Plastic Bertrand - 'Ca plane pour moi'
• Blur - 'To the End (La Comedie)'
• Serge Gainsbourg - 'Bonnie and Clyde'
• Nena - '99 Luftballons'

Email us: [email protected]

Look, we tried to have a sophisticated chat about interwar music (the stuff between the two big global scraps) but obviously, it devolved into a conversation about penis tattoos and whether or not Reddit is a valid academic source.

Dr. Sam brings the "knowledge" (mostly from books he is actually holding, for once), and Andrew tries to figure out how to eat a Scotch egg without a plate while pondering the sexual deviance of 1920s novelty songs. We cover Duke Ellington's Mood Indigo, the absolute filth hidden in "I'm Going to Bring a Watermelon to My Girl Tonight," and why Robert Johnson might have just practiced really hard instead of selling his soul to the devil. It is a rambling journey through jazz, folk, and German Marxist theatre that somehow ends with Woody Allen and a two-fingered guitarist.

• Dog Faced Hermans - Jan 9

• Witch Post - Worry Angel

1. Duke Ellington - Mood Indigo
2. Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band - I'm Gonna Bring a Watermelon to My Girl Tonight
3. Brecht - Instead-Of Song
4. Harlem Hamfats - Let's Get Drunk and Truck

1. Laurel and Hardy - Trail of the lonesome pine
2. Robert Johnson - Crossroad blues
3. Woodie Guthrie - This Land Is Your Land (1940)
4. Django Reinhardt & Stephane Grappelli - Minor Swing

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