This is it. The big one. Episode 161. A milestone nobody asked for and even fewer likely wanted. It's the "Ego-death indulgent Spectacular Special," which is basically a fancy way of saying Andrew and Dr. Sam have finally disappeared up their own backsides to look at the wreckage of the last 160 episodes.

Expect a lot of self-congratulatory stats, clips of the pair sounding like absolute melts, and the usual technical failures that have become the show's unintended trademark. We've got deep dives into why Queen is discussed more than played, the actual number of times we've mentioned bodily functions (spoiler: it's lower than you'd think, which is disappointing), and a look back at the time Mike Watt told us he hated Zoom. It's a retrospective of chaos, bad decisions, and the occasional riff.

Sam's Riff of the Week

• The Messthetics & James Brandon Lewis – Deface The Currency

Andrew's Riff of the Week

• LOOK MUM NO COMPUTER – Eins, Zwei, Drei

The Ego-Death Deep Dive: A History of Bad Decisions

• Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy Intro: We started with a lie. In Episode 1, Andrew promised a 20-minute show, but it ran to 55 minutes. Sam's original review: "Andrew, this was supposed to be 20 minutes".
• Cee Lo Green – FUCK YOU: Setting the tone early. Episode 1 ended with Andrew attempting professionalism while Sam signed off with a heartfelt "Fuck you all".
• Metallica – Fuel: It took us 63 episodes to finally deliver on the Metallica special we promised in week one.
• The Replacements – Here Comes a Regular: We predicted we'd be "irregular". We then accidentally published for 96 consecutive weeks without missing a single one.
• The Minutemen – Corona: Revisiting our favourite intro, the moment Mike Watt joined the Zoom call and immediately shouted, "Fuck those people".
• The Stone Roses – Tell Me: Statistically our most played artist with 14 appearances over the journey.
• Queen – Stone Cold Crazy: Our most discussed band (mentioned 26 times) that we almost never actually play.

The Hall of Fame: Dumb Bits & Chaos

• The Christian Vulvas: A band name suggestion that almost killed us with laughter.
• Thighs Wide Open: Walking into the technological dystopia with our "eyes fucking wide open," or something like that.
• 10 Pence Pieces: The failed monetization strategy involving skin insertion.
• Testicle Weather Vanes: A foolproof way to predict a tornado or an earthquake based on swinging.
• Ruddiger Broomhilder's Unripe Plums: The AI-assisted tale of a stomach-ache staging a revolution.

Love vs. Death vs. Poo

• PIL – This Is Not A Love Song: The stats are in. We prefer death (29 songs) over love (19 songs).
• Phil Collins 3 – Pooey Stick: Despite the scatological humor, "poo" has only appeared 11 times in the transcripts.

The Numbers That Tell the Story Stat Number Total episodes 167 (including trailer) Total hours of content 136.1 Total tracks identified 1,044 Unique artists 706 Artists played only once 560 (79%) Sam's track picks 354 Guest picks 166 Longest publishing streak 96 weeks Average episode length 65 minutes Love songs / Death songs 19 / 29 Horse references 13 Toilet / Poo references 12 / 11 Unused backlog ideas 74 Original zine issues 10

Watch more Beat Motel chaos here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWvEIcKhJxA&list=PLwnzX0gT6IrcZqrF2Xslb19NiBRgd9rj9

In this episode of Beat Motel, Andrew is joined by Tom Klute, a man who has spent 25 years running the Commercial Suicide label and presumably even longer trying to figure out how to stop CDRs from rotting into useless plastic coasters.

The pair embark on a quest to identify the 'Great Basslines of Our Time', a journey that takes them from the bowel-ripping valve amps of the 70s to the distorted sub-bass of 90s jungle. Along the way, they discuss why buying a headless bass is a cry for help, the terror of music trackers, and the peculiar joy of being a 'cool dad' who gives his son massive 70s speakers only to realise his lounge ceiling is now a vibrating drum skin.

Expect tangents on why the Smokey and the Bandit remake in Suffolk failed, the mystery of delaminating discs, and why the Sugarhill Gang might be absolute fibbers. It's an hour of gear talk, punk history, and bass-heavy nostalgia that'll make your trousers wobble.

Riffs of the week Tom's Riff

• Kenny Loggins - Footloose

Andrew's Riff

• Fucked Up - Crusades

Tom's track choices

1. Stranglers - Toiler On The Sea

2. Roni Size - Share the Fall (Grooverider's Jeep Mix)

3. Discharge - Ain't No Feeble Bastard

4. Chic - Good Times

5. LFO - LFO

Andrew's track choices

1. Fu Manchu - Grendel Snowman

2. Blur - Popscene

3. Venetian Snares - Öngyilkos Vasárnap

4. Gravediggaz - 6 Feet Deep

5. NOFX - The Decline

Look, we've all been there. You go to a gig at a university campus that looks like a concrete fever dream from A Clockwork Orange, you feel ancient because the students are all drinking a gallon of water from Stanley cups instead of proper ale, and then you have to question your own bowel integrity because someone in the crowd is weaponising their flatulence.

This week, Andrew and Dr. Sam dive into the "Normal Lineup, Weird Noises" theme—basically, what happens when a standard rock band decides to make sounds that shouldn't exist. We've got Jerskin Fendrix (aka Jocelyn Dent Pooley, the man with a name like a removal firm heir), the sonic separation of Big Business, and the avant-garde chaos of Deerhoof.

Also: Why do people heckle sensitive jazz drummers? Is every Ukrainian black metal band actually staffed by archaeologists? And why does Paul Westerberg spend the start of a Replacements track sounding like he's hoovering up a pharmacy floor? It's music, it's chaos, and it's probably the only podcast that mentions both Agathee Christie and the "Pissed Resistance" in the same breath.

Riffs of the Week Dr. Sam's Riff

• Jerskin Fendrix – Jerskin Fendrix Freestyle

Andrew's Riff

• The Callous Daoboys – Distracted by The Mona Lisa

Dr. Sam's Track Choices

1. Big Business – Cats, Mice

2. Deerhoof – The Perfect Me

3. Victims Family – The Germ

4. Adam and the Ants – The Day I Met God

Andrew's Track Choices

1. Caroline Polachek – Dang

2. Everything Everything – Cough Cough

3. The Charlatans – I Can't Even Be Bothered

4. 1914 – 1914 (The Siege of Przemyśl)

Email us: [email protected]

In this episode, Andrew and Dr Sam attempt to justify their existence as middle-aged men with a music podcast by discussing the "sheer fucking arrogance" of music journalism. Between reenacting being a hydroelectric dam and discussing the logistics of dressing up like a facade of the Pentagon, they actually manage to talk about some records. Expect a deep dive into the dry drum sounds of early Faith No More, the naive charm of The Fall, and the surprising revelation that Hanoi Rocks basically invented Guns N' Roses. We also learn about the "poo sick" (don't ask) and why being 5'11" and 11/12ths is a legitimate personality trait. It's 70 minutes of your life you aren't getting back, but at least you'll know which bass pedals make you sound like a Moog.

### Riffs of the week

#### Dr Sam's Riff - Big Business - The Moor You Know #### Andrew's Riff - Baroness - The Birthing

### Dr Sam's track choices 1. Faith No More - As The Worm Turns 2. The Lookouts - I Saw Her Standing There 3. The Damned - New Rose 4. Hanoi Rocks - Tooting Bec Wrecked

### Andrew's track choices 1. The Fall - Rebellious Jukebox 2. Television - Marquee Moon 3. The Kinks - Villiage Green Preservation Society 4. The Velvet Underground - Sister Ray

Email us - [email protected]

The Fall episode - https://beatmotel.com/podcast-episodes/revisiting-the-fall-with-mark-beaumont-thomas/

In this episode, Andrew and Dr Sam tackle the high-brow topic of Autumn, which mostly involves Sam moaning about how grey Finland is and Andrew recounting the time he kicked a pile of dog muck while trying to be whimsical.

We also dive deep into the world of Roy Orbison, specifically his secret life as a competitive remote-control car enthusiast and how he basically wore the same pair of filthy glasses for 25 years. Andrew finally sees the Rocky Horror Picture Show and is traumatised by middle-aged men in stockings, Sam tries to find a version of 'Autumn Leaves' that doesn't taste like high-fructose corn syrup, and we discuss why the Beatles were basically ancient by the time they hit 30. There's also some talk about Jeff Lynne (obviously), stealing cheese from Blur, and why you should never go to an all-you-can-eat buffet if you value your self-respect.

### Riffs of the week

#### Dr Sam's Riff - Roy Orbison - (All I Can Do Is) Dream You #### Andrew's Riff - Rocky Horror Picture Show - Sweet Transvestite

### Dr Sam's track choices 1. Nat King Cole - Autumn Leaves 2. Cannonball Adderley - Autumn Leaves 3. Roger Williams - Autumn Leaves 4. Edith Piaf - Les Feuilles Mortes

### Andrew's track choices 1. Guns n Roses - November Rain 2. Autumn Almanac - The Kinks 3. Crowded House - Fall at your feet 4. Forever Autumn - Justin Hayward and Jeff Wayne

Email us - [email protected]

In this episode of Beat Motel, Andrew and Dr. Sam attempt to discuss "Great Songs with Questionable Lyrics" but mostly end up talking about accidental calls to the emergency services and the thermal advantages of having an itchy jumper for a face.

We dive into the grottier side of grindcore with Edinburgh's CHOU, wonder why Wolf Alice has a drummer singing in a thicket, and Dr. Sam tries to justify why he once owned a Limp Bizkit record. Also featuring: Slade being sued for sounding like a brickyard, Jimmy Page "borrowing" songs again, and why you should never store your Lego boxes in a greenhouse. It's less of a music podcast and more of a documented descent into madness.

Riffs of the week Dr Sam's Riff

• CHOU - Vulnerable Blether

Andrew's Riff

• Wolf Alice - White Horses

Dr Sam's track choices

1. Slade - Let's Call It Quits

2. Limp Bizkit - Counterfeit

3. Public Enemy - Sophisticated Bitch

4. Cannibal Corpse - I Cum Blood

Andrew's track choices

1. Led Zeppelin - Babe I'm gonna leave you

2. Steve Miller Band - The Joker

3. Sonic Youth - Kool Thing

4. Suede - Stay Together

Email us - [email protected]

In what can only be described as a new low for the Beat Motel, Andrew and Dr. Sam dive headfirst into a theme so thin you can practically see through it: Water. What starts with Jackie Chan karate-chopping peanut packets somehow devolves into a harrowing discussion about men who refuse to wipe their backsides because it's "too gay," and the pungent aroma of a father's "beefy" morning ritual.

Musically, we're forced to endure everything from Janet Jackson's "Moist" (a song that makes everyone's knees feel funny for the wrong reasons) to a Deep Purple video featuring a pilgrim on a Mad Max vehicle. We also touch on why Jimmy Carr is the Nigel Farage of comedy, the baffling rise of J-Pop sensation Ado, and why Weezer's Rivers Cuomo looks like he's constantly checking his watch for an exit strategy. It's damp, it's irreverent, and it's probably best listened to while weeping into a Victoria sponge.

### Riffs of the week

#### Dr Sam's Riff - Ado - Kura Kura #### Andrew's Riff - Zatokrev, Bolzer, Schammasch - Red Storm

### Dr Sam's track choices 1. TLC - Waterfalls 2. Aerosmith - Cryin' 3. Janet Jackson - Moist 4. Joan Armatrading - Water with Wine

### Andrew's track choices 1. The Stone Roses - Waterfall 2. Nirvana - Territorial Pissings 3. Deep Purple - Smoke on the water 4. Weezer - Africa

Email us - [email protected]

Here's that Deep Purple video: https://youtu.be/Q2FzZSBD5LE?si=7lmp39n-ZpcOQPnn

We've got Drew Ailes (aka David Lunch, aka Egg Norton) from Minneapolis punk outfit Citric Dummies. We spend a suspicious amount of time talking about the horrors of SEO and marketing because, apparently, being a punk doesn't pay for the artisanal bread anymore. Drew explains how his background in "mucking about with systems" on the internet led to a career in corporate consulting, and why having a drummer who is actually a musical genius is the only reason the band hasn't folded in on itself.

Expect tangents on the "blokey-bloke" culture of Oasis, the mystery of what on earth Arby's is, and why John Peel is the patron saint of record nerds. We also touch on the lighthearted topic of the political chaos in Minneapolis and ICE agents eating at the very Mexican restaurants they're supposed to be patrolling. You know, the usual cheery stuff.

Drew Citric Dummie's track choices 1. Red Dons - Hard Feelings 2. Pinchers - Tonight 3. Sado Nation - Mom and pop democracy 4. Chipmonks Sludgefest - Diamond Dolls 5. Harry Chapin - W.O.L.D Dr Sam's track choices 1. Citric Dummies - Being Male is Embarrassing 2. Citric Dummies - I Can't Relate 3. Citric Dummies - Look Out World (I'm Eatin' At Arby's) 4. Citric Dummies - Life is so Horrifying

We're back, and frankly, if you've stuck around this long, you only have yourself to blame. After our first-ever break, Andrew and Dr. Sam return to discuss why cats don't actually like dope beats, despite what Aaliyah told us in 2000, and why fireworks and techno are a bad mix for pets.

In this episode, we dive into the legendary Eric B. & Rakim, Japanese garage rock icons Thee Michelle Gun Elephant, and the "emotional grindcore" of Swarrrm. There's also a deeply unnecessary deep dive into The Queers' lyrical nuances from 1999 and a story about a band that split up because the singer decided to use the drummer as a urinal. We also explore why boredom is actually quite fast, the joy of "institutional Finnish pasta", and why Beat Motel is effectively just a sticking plaster on the gaping wound of your personal issues.

Riffs of the Week Dr Sam's Riff

• Thee Michelle Gun Elephant - "The Birdmen"

Andrew's Riff

• Blood Incantation - "The Stargate [Tablet 3]"

Dr Sam's Track Choices

1. 88 Fingers Louie - "Newspaper"
2. Swarrrm - "13"
3. The Queers - "No Tit"
4. HIRS - "Public Service Announcement"

Andrew's Track Choices

1. System of a Down - "Chic 'N' Stu"
2. Buzzcocks - "Boredom"
3. Sub Focus and Grimes - "Entwined"
4. The Bluetones - "Fast Boy"

Email us - [email protected]

Gabba dancing: https://youtu.be/FUD-HExh9ow?si=Kaq8OykylcVEUosL

If you've ever wondered why some bassists look like they're having a conversation with a ghost or why your favorite punk record sounds like it was recorded in a cupboard, Mike Watt is here to explain it all. We sat down with the Minutemen and Stooges legend to talk about everything from the physics of why playing too many notes makes you "smaller" to the absolute bigotry drummers face in the industry.

Watt walks us through his "third opera," why he wrote an entire album on a Telecaster instead of a bass just to spite himself, and how he ended up playing with the Stooges for 125 months. We also get into the weeds on the early Hollywood punk scene, the "autonomy" of major labels (or lack thereof), and why the internet is basically just a tool for collaborating with people in Peru. It's rambling, it's philosophical, and it's probably the most intellectual we've ever been on this show. Don't get used to it.