A young woman sought spiritual help because she had gotten married and for several years could not have a normal relationship with her husband. For some reason, she just couldn't fully give herself to this man. She loved him, but she couldn't stand for him to be close to her and to be intimate with her. As you can imagine, this problem was destroying their relationship.
She tried to change, but she couldn't do it. She said, "God, what is wrong with me? Why do I act this way? Why can't I be a normal wife?"
One day she had a dream, and it reminded her of something that had happened when she was a young girl. In this dream, she saw herself out at the lake swimming, and several young boys came over and sexually assaulted her. She was so angry and so filled with hatred toward those boys, she began to scream, "I hate you! I hate you! I'll never let another man touch me as long as I live."
When she awakened, she realized that she still had all that anger and hatred in her heart toward those boys. It was buried deep down inside, and it was affecting her relationship with her husband many years later. She knew it wasn't going to be easy, but she recognized she had to deal with that unforgiveness, or she would never have a healthy relationship. She decided to release all that hurt and pain. She said, "God, You know it wasn't right. You know what they did to me. But I'm not going to hold on to it any longer; I'm not going to allow the pain from the past to poison my present and my future. God, I forgive those boys right now."
Interestingly, from that moment on, she was able to enjoy a healthy relationship with her husband. She couldn't change by dealing with the fruit; she had to get down to the root. And once the bitter root was gone, she was able to break free from her past.