Becoming Her, Again: Healing After Divorce

What If Five Minutes Could Change Your Life?

How a simple shift in thinking can change your happiness, your choices, and the life you’re building.

What if the biggest thing standing between you and a more fulfilling life isn’t your circumstances—but the way you’re thinking about them?

When life takes an unexpected turn, fear can convince us that the worst is inevitable. But just because something feels true doesn’t mean it is.

In this episode of Becoming Her, Again, I’m sharing something deeply personal: how becoming a divorced single mother, facing financial uncertainty and an unknown future, led me to begin changing the way I approached life’s challenges.

What started as a way to manage overwhelming fear and difficult decisions eventually became a way of living that I believe has helped me create a life I genuinely love.

I’m also introducing The Five Minute Shift, a practical approach I’ve been developing to help us pause, challenge the assumptions we’re making, and recognize the choices still available to us.

At the heart of it is the ARRC Method:

• Accept what’s true about your circumstances.
• Reflect on what you’re thinking and believing.
• Release what isn’t serving you or isn’t yours to control.
• Choose your next step with intention.

Because you may not get to choose everything life hands you, but you have more influence over the life you experience than you might realize.

Small shifts in perspective. Extraordinary possibilities for everyday life.

FREE DOWNLOAD: The Five Minute Shift — ARRC Assessment

Feeling overwhelmed, worried about the future, or struggling with something you can’t change?

Download my free ARRC assessment worksheet and learn how to pause, separate facts from fears, release what you cannot control, and choose your next step with greater clarity. Accept. Reflect. Release. Choose. Small shifts in perspective. Extraordinary possibilities for everyday life.

https://living-in-the-middle-together.kit.com/cb306244f2

Let’s Stay Connected

If this episode encouraged you, I’d love for you to follow Becoming Her, Again and share it with someone who might need a little hope today.

Website: https://livinginthemiddle.blog

Instagram: @becomingheragainpodcast

Free 30-Day Divorce Recovery Email Series: https://living-in-the-middle-together.kit.com/30-day-email

Pinterest: https://pin.it/5QFpTBd6I

Email: [email protected]

Because life changes, and so do we.

Who Am I Now? Finding Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse

Narcissistic Abuse Survivor Series — Episode 4

After years of adapting to someone else’s moods, avoiding conflict, second-guessing your feelings, or making yourself smaller to keep the peace, you may leave the relationship and realize you no longer know what you like, what you want—or even who you are.

You may also look back and blame yourself, wondering, How did I allow this to happen? How did I lose so much of myself?

In this episode, therapist Jennifer Kendrick, joins Carol to explain how that disconnection from yourself can happen gradually—and why the ways you learned to cope were not signs of weakness.

But this conversation goes beyond trying to return to the woman you were before. Every experience changes us. Healing gives you the opportunity to understand who you are now, reconnect with your own voice, and intentionally consider who you want to become next.

In This Episode, We Discuss:

• How a woman can gradually lose her sense of identity in an emotionally unhealthy relationship
• Why constantly managing another person’s moods can disconnect her from her own needs and preferences
• Why she should not blame herself for the ways she learned to cope or emotionally survive
• How to separate her authentic identity from the labels and beliefs she may have accepted about herself
• Why healing doesn’t require her to return to exactly who she was before
• Questions that can help her discover what she values, enjoys, wants, and no longer wants
• How small decisions can begin rebuilding self-trust
• What happens when the people around her don’t understand or support the woman she is becoming
• How to remain loving and connected without abandoning herself again

You did not lose yourself all at once, and you do not have to find yourself all at once.

Healing isn’t about going backward. It is about becoming curious about who you are now—one question, one choice, and one small act of self-trust at a time.

🎧 Listen now, share with others and tap Follow so you don’t miss the final episode in the Narcissistic Abuse Survivor Series.

Related Episode

Narcissistic Abuse Survivor Series — Episode 3:What Should I Expect When Divorcing Someone with Narcissistic Traits?

Connect + Links

Website:
https://livinginthemiddle.blog

Free 30-Day Divorce Recovery Email Series:
https://living-in-the-middle-together.kit.com/30-day-email

Instagram:
@becomingheragainpodcast

Pinterest:
https://pin.it/5QFpTBd6I

Email:
[email protected]

Disclaimer

This podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only and does not replace therapy, diagnosis, or treatment from a qualified mental health professional. If you are experiencing depression, anxiety, trauma symptoms, abuse, or concerns about your safety, please seek support from a licensed mental health professional or an appropriate crisis or emergency resource.

When You’re Not Happy… But You’re Scared to Leave

What do you do when you know you’re not happy in your marriage… but the thought of leaving scares you even more?

Maybe you’ve spent months—or years—telling yourself things will get better. You’ve prayed, tried harder, given it more time and held onto hope. But somewhere along the way, you’ve started asking yourself a question you never wanted to have to ask:

Do I keep fighting for my marriage… or is it time to let go?

In this episode of Becoming Her, Again, I’m talking to the woman standing in that very difficult middle place—because I’ve been her.

We’ll talk honestly about the fear of divorce and the unknown, the difference between genuine change and repeated promises, the questions that can help you look honestly at your marriage, and the added struggle of trying to discern what God is asking of you.

I’ll also share the realization that finally changed the way I looked at my own future—and what I wish I could tell the scared woman I once saw staring back at me in the mirror.

This episode isn’t here to tell you to stay.

And it isn’t here to tell you to leave.

It’s about finding clarity, seeking God’s wisdom, separating faith from fear, and remembering something I hope you carry with you long after this episode ends:

Your future may be unknown to you, but it has never been unknown to God. He is already in your tomorrow.

Please note: This podcast is intended to provide personal perspective, encouragement and support and is not a substitute for professional mental health, legal, pastoral or other professional advice. If you are experiencing abuse or are concerned for your safety, please seek help from a qualified professional or appropriate support service.

FREE RESOURCES FOR LISTENERS (use password)

https://livinginthemiddle.blog/podcast-support-resources/

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Connect + Links

Website: https://livinginthemiddle.blog

Free 30-Day Divorce Recovery Email Series:

https://living-in-the-middle-together.kit.com/30-day-email

Instagram: @becomingheragainpodcast

Pinterest: https://pin.it/5QFpTBd6I

Email: [email protected]

If this episode spoke to something you’ve been carrying quietly, follow Becoming Her, Again so we can keep walking together—and consider sharing this episode with a woman who may need to hear it today.

Because this journey? We don’t do it alone.

Divorce is hard. But when you’re divorcing someone with narcissistic traits, you may quickly realize you’re dealing with something very different from the divorce you thought you were going to have.

In Part 3 of our special Narcissistic Abuse Survivor Series, I’m joined again by therapist Jennifer as we talk about what you may experience when divorcing someone with narcissistic traits—and why understanding what could be happening can help you feel less blindsided by it.

We begin with the question so many women desperately want answered:

What should I expect?

Jennifer and I talk about what can happen when someone who is accustomed to having control suddenly feels that control slipping away, why conflict can escalate, and some of the behaviors you may encounter as you move through separation and divorce.

We also talk about something incredibly important: learning when to stop trying to explain, convince, or defend yourself—and why sometimes the better approach is to document instead of debate.

This episode isn’t about frightening you or trying to predict exactly what your divorce will look like.

It’s about helping you become more informed, more prepared, and better able to protect your peace as you move through it.

In This Episode

• What you may experience when divorcing someone with narcissistic traits• Why divorce can intensify controlling or high-conflict behavior• What happens when the person you’re divorcing feels they’re losing control• Why reasoning, explaining, and defending yourself may not resolve the conflict• How to recognize when you’re being pulled back into an emotional battle• Why “document instead of debate” can be such an important shift• Ways to protect your emotional energy during a high-conflict divorce• How understanding what is happening can help you respond more intentionally

Don’t Miss the Rest of the Series

This is Part 3 of our 5-Part Narcissistic Abuse Survivor Series.

If you’re just finding the series, I encourage you to begin with:

Part 1 — What Just Happened to Me? Understanding Narcissistic Abuse

Part 2 — Why Is It So Hard to Let Go? Understanding the Trauma Bond

And stay with me for Parts 4 and 5 as we continue talking about healing, finding yourself again, and learning whether you can trust again after narcissistic abuse.

Connect + Links

Website: https://livinginthemiddle.blog

Free 30 Day Divorce Recovery Email Request: https://living-in-the-middle-together.kit.com/30-day-email

Instagram: @becomimgheragainpodcast

Pinterest: https://pin.it/5QFpTBd6I

Email: [email protected]

Jennifer’s Website: www.kindsighttherapy.com

A Quick Favor

If Becoming Her, Again has helped you feel a little less alone in your healing, follow the podcast so you don’t miss the next conversation in this series.

And if you have a moment, please consider leaving a rating or review. It helps other women searching for support after divorce find this community too.

Disclaimer

Becoming Her, Again is intended for educational and informational purposes only and does not replace professional mental health care, legal advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

The information shared in this episode is general in nature. Every relationship and divorce is different, and the discussion of narcissistic traits or behaviors should not be interpreted as a diagnosis of any individual.

If you are navigating a high-conflict divorce, please consult a qualified attorney regarding your individual legal situation and seek support from a licensed mental health professional when appropriate.

If you are in immediate danger or concerned for your safety, contact local emergency services or an appropriate domestic violence resource in your area.

You are doing better than you think.

Until next time… stick with me.

Have you ever known in your head that a relationship was hurting you…yet still found yourself missing him, hoping he would change, or wondering if you should go back?

Maybe you’ve asked yourself, Why can’t I just let go?

If so, there may be a reason—and understanding it can change the way you see yourself and what you’ve been through.

In Part 2 of our five-part Narcissistic Abuse Survivor Series, we’re talking about the trauma bond—the powerful emotional attachment that can develop when hurt, confusion, affection, hope, and relief become intertwined within a relationship.

This isn’t about weakness or simply “loving someone too much.” It’s about understanding why these relationships can be so difficult to leave emotionally, even after they have ended.

Together, we’ll explore:

• What a trauma bond is and how it develops
• Why cycles of hurt followed by affection, apologies, or hope can strengthen attachment
• Why you may still miss someone who caused you pain
• Why knowing a relationship was unhealthy doesn’t automatically make it easier to let go
• How trauma bonds can continue long after a relationship ends
• Signs that healing may already be happening—even when you can’t feel it yet
• Practical ways to begin loosening the emotional hold of the relationship and moving forward

Whether you’re still trying to leave, recently walked away, or ended the relationship years ago but still don’t understand why part of you remains emotionally attached, this episode is for you.

Sometimes moving forward begins with understanding why letting go has been so hard.

This is Part 2 of our 5-Part Narcissistic Abuse Survivor Series.

If this episode resonates with you, be sure to follow the podcast, so you don’t miss the remaining episodes in this special series. Also, leave a review and share it with someone you know needs it as well.

If You Are Experiencing Abuse and Need Immediate Help

National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.)
Call: 1-800-799-7233
Text: START to 88788

If you are outside the United States, please contact your country’s domestic violence resources or emergency services.

CONNECT

Follow on Instagram: @becomingheragainpodcast
Email me: [email protected]
Jennifer Kendrick: www.kingsighttherapy.com

Helpful Resources

Website: Living in the Middle

Free Divorce Recovery Resources:

• 30-Day Divorce Recovery Email Series
• Healing Articles
• Printable Resources
• Podcast Library

Disclaimer

This podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health, legal, or medical advice. The views expressed are based on personal experience and educational resources. If you are in immediate danger, please contact emergency services or your local crisis resources.

Trigger Warning

⚠️ This episode contains discussions of emotional and psychological abuse, manipulation, trauma, and coercive relationship dynamics. Please listen in a safe place and take breaks whenever needed. Your healing matters.

Have you ever walked away from a relationship wondering why you suddenly doubted yourself, questioned your own reality, or felt like you had become someone you didn’t even recognize?

If so, you are not alone.

In the first episode of our five-part Narcissistic Abuse Survivor Series, we’re talking about what narcissistic abuse really is—and what it isn’t. This isn’t about labeling every difficult person a narcissist. It’s about understanding the patterns of emotional manipulation that leave so many survivors confused, exhausted, and wondering what just happened.

Together, we’ll explore:

• What narcissistic abuse actually is
• Why it’s so difficult to recognize while you’re living it
• Common manipulation tactics including gaslighting, love bombing, and intermittent reinforcement
• Why leaving isn’t as simple as people think
• The emotional aftermath survivors often experience
• The first step toward healing: understanding that your experience has a name

Whether you’re still in the relationship, recently left, or left years ago but still struggle to make sense of what happened, this episode is for you.

Healing begins with understanding.

This is Part 1 of our 5-Part Narcissistic Abuse Survivor Series.

If this episode resonates with you, be sure to follow the podcast so you don’t miss the remaining episodes in this special series.

Resource Referenced In Podcast

Was It Even Abuse?: Restoring clarity after covert abuse

(Amazon)

By Elizabeth Rose Byham

If you are experiencing abuse and need immediate help: National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.)
Call: 1-800-799-7233
Text: START to 88788

If you are outside the United States, please contact your country’s domestic violence resources or emergency services.

CONNECT

Follow on Instagram: @becomingheragainpodcast

Email me: [email protected]

Jennifer Kendrick: www.kingsighttherapy.com

Helpful Resources

Website: Living in the Middle

Free Divorce Recovery Resources:

• 30-Day Divorce Recovery Email Series
• Healing Articles
• Printable Resources
• Podcast Library

Disclaimer

This podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health, legal, or medical advice. The views expressed are based on personal experience and educational resources. If you are in immediate danger, please contact emergency services or your local crisis resources.

Trigger Warning

⚠️ This episode contains discussions of emotional and psychological abuse, manipulation, trauma, and coercive relationship dynamics. Please listen in a safe place and take breaks whenever needed. Your healing matters.

Sometimes the hardest seasons of our lives become the very place where healing begins.

If you’re in the middle of divorce, it may feel impossible to imagine that anything good could come from so much pain. The betrayal, loneliness, fear, financial uncertainty, and grief can make it difficult to see beyond simply surviving.

In this episode, Carol shares one of the most powerful perspective shifts she discovered during her own healing journey—that while divorce is never the gift, what can emerge through healing just might be.

You’ll hear encouragement if you’re struggling to believe life can ever feel peaceful again, and hope that one day you may discover a stronger, wiser, more grounded version of yourself waiting on the other side.

If you’ve been wondering whether happiness is still possible, this episode is for you.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• Why it’s normal to focus only on the damage after divorce

• How grief can prevent us from seeing future possibilities

• Why healing isn’t about becoming your old self again

• The unexpected transformation many women experience after divorce

• How protecting your peace becomes one of life’s greatest gifts

• Why your future may be far more beautiful than you can imagine today

Remember…

The end of one chapter may become the beginning of the life you were always meant to live.

Helpful Resources

❤️ Free Divorce Recovery Resources

• 🌿 Free 30-Day Divorce Recovery Email Series

• 📖 Free Divorce Recovery Roadmap

• 🙏 7 Prayers for Women Healing After Divorce

Visit:

https://www.livinginthemiddle.blog

🎙️ Listen to More Episodes

If today’s episode encouraged you, you may also enjoy:

• Understanding Emotional Shock After Divorce
• The First 30 Days After Divorce
• Why Divorce Still Hurts—Even When Leaving Was the Right Decision
• When Hope Feels Hard to Find
• Why Your Mind Replays the Divorce Over and Over
• How to Build Your Confidence After Divorce

⭐ If this podcast has encouraged you…

Would you take just a minute to follow the show and leave a review?

Your ratings help other women find hope during one of the hardest seasons of their lives.

Scripture

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

— Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

Connect With Me

🌿 Website:
https://www.becomingheragain.com

📧 Email:
[email protected]

📱 Instagram:
@becomingheragainpodcast

Disclaimer

This podcast is intended for educational and inspirational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health, medical, legal, or financial advice. Always seek the guidance of qualified professionals regarding your specific situation.

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Why Am I Still So Angry After Divorce?

Years after divorce, are you still carrying anger, resentment, or bitterness and wondering why you can’t let it go? In this episode of Becoming Her, Again, we’ll explore why anger lingers, what it’s really trying to tell you, and how to begin finding peace without pretending the hurt never happened. Often, anger is connected to grief, disappointment, betrayal, and the life you thought you would have. Together we’ll explore what your anger may really be trying to tell you and how to begin moving forward with greater peace.

In This Episode We Discuss:

• Why anger can remain long after divorce is final
• The difference between being angry about the divorce and grieving what was lost
• How anger often protects deeper emotional wounds
• Why letting go doesn’t mean what happened was okay
• How faith can help us heal unresolved hurt

A Gentle Reminder

If you’re still struggling with anger after divorce, you’re not alone. Healing isn’t measured by the absence of difficult emotions. Sometimes growth happens when we become curious about our emotions instead of criticizing ourselves for having them.

Listen Now

Listen wherever you enjoy podcasts and follow Becoming Her, Again so you never miss an episode.

Related Episodes

• Why Do I Still Miss Someone Who Hurt Me?
• Why We Reopen Emotional Wounds After Divorce
• Will You Stay Stuck or Truly Thrive After Divorce?

Connect + Links

🌿 Free 30-Day Divorce Recovery Email Series

Sign up here: ⁠https://thelivinginthemiddle.com

🌿 Website: thelivinginthemiddle.com

🌿 Follow on Instagram: @becomingheragainpodcast

Disclaimer

This podcast is intended for educational and inspirational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health, medical, legal, or financial advice. Always seek the guidance of qualified professionals regarding your specific situation.

Dating After Divorce: Why Finding the Right Man Is So Hard

After divorce, many women assume the hardest part will be healing from the marriage. What often surprises them is how difficult dating can feel years later. In this episode, Carol shares a conversation with a woman we’ll call Jill—a successful, attractive, independent woman who found herself stuck in a pattern many women will recognize. Through Jill’s story, we explore how loneliness, self-worth, old rejection wounds, and the desire to be chosen can quietly influence the relationships we accept. This episode is an honest conversation about why finding the right relationship can feel so difficult after divorce—and why true healing changes everything.

In This Episode

• Why some women unknowingly attach their worth to being chosen
• How loneliness can lead us to accept less than we truly want
• The difference between evaluating a relationship and evaluating yourself
• Why unresolved rejection wounds often show up in dating
• How giving someone else control of your emotional well-being creates anxiety and uncertainty
• Why healing must come before healthy relationships
• The importance of building a life that already feels complete

A Reminder for You

If you saw pieces of yourself in Jill’s story, please know you’re not alone. So many strong, capable women struggle with these same thoughts after divorce. Healing isn’t about becoming perfect. It’s about becoming aware of the patterns that no longer serve you so you can make different choices moving forward. Awareness is often where healing begins.

Related Episodes

• Why Do I Still Miss Someone Who Hurt Me?
• Why We Reopen Emotional Wounds After Divorce
• Will You Stay Stuck… or Truly Thrive After Divorce?

Connect & Resources

❤️ Are you ready to date after divorce? Download your free checklist here

👉 https://living-in-the-middle-together.kit.com/5signs

🌿 Website & Blog
https://thelivinginthemiddle.com

💌 Free 30-Day Divorce Recovery Email Series
If you’re struggling to move forward after divorce, join my free 30-Day Divorce Recovery Email Series. Each day you’ll receive encouragement, practical healing insights, scripture, reflection prompts, and reminders that you don’t have to walk this journey alone.

Sign up here: https://thelivinginthemiddle.com

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🎙️ Follow the Podcast
Becoming Her, Again is available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, and most major podcast platforms.

📧 Contact
[email protected]

Disclaimer

The information shared in this podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only and is not intended to replace professional mental health, medical, legal, or financial advice. Every healing journey is unique. If you are struggling with your mental health or emotional well-being, please seek support from a qualified professional.

Why do we still miss someone who hurt us?

It’s one of the most confusing and painful emotional conflicts after divorce… and one many women silently carry shame around.

In this deeply personal episode, we’re talking about why missing your ex does NOT mean you made the wrong decision — and why emotional attachment is very different from true compatibility.

We’ll discuss:
• why the brain clings to familiarity,
• how loneliness can romanticize the past,
• why your nervous system struggles with change after divorce,
• and how to stop confusing attachment with alignment.

If you’ve ever questioned yourself because you still miss someone who caused you pain, this episode is for you.

You are not weak.You are not crazy.And you are definitely not alone.

🎧 Listen now on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.

Related Episodes:
• Why Nights Are the Hardest After Divorce — And When It Gets Better
• Why Your Mind Replays the Divorce Over and Over
• Understanding Emotional Shock After Divorce

Connect + Links:
🌿 Blog: Living in the Middle
🎙 Podcast: Becoming Her, Again on Spotify
📌 Pinterest: Living in the Middle Pinterest
📷 Instagram: Becoming Her Again Podcast Instagram

Disclaimer:
This podcast is intended for emotional support, encouragement, and educational purposes only and should not replace professional mental health advice or therapy. If you are struggling emotionally, please seek support from a licensed mental health professional.