Fellow Gold Coaster Chrystal Abernethy is a 32 year old mother of two to her beautiful girls Pearl and Gypsy. Otherwise known as Mumma C Essentials on Instagram, Chrystal gives other mums a real honest view of parenting and motherhood, mixed in together with two of her other loves - crystals and essential oils. In this #realmumtalk episode we dive deep into her experience with post natal depression. Please note that if you are experiencing PND right now, may I ask as a matter of self care for you, to SKIP this episode - as we do hear about suicidal thoughts and attempts. I have removed graphic details as the essence of the conversation still runs strong without them, and I thought it unnecessary for people to hear. Again I have done this in case this episode ends up in the ears of someone too fragile to hear it. What both Chrystal and I want more than anything is for this open conversation to serve as a reminder that you do not have to do things on your own and reaching out and asking for help is nothing to be ashamed of - it could in fact just save a life.

Please call Lifeline - 131 114 or Beyond Blue - 1300 224 636 if you are in need of immediate help.

Resources from this episode:

Books:

•Happy Mama by Amy Taylor-Kabbaz

•Buddhism for Mothers by Sarah Napthali

Meditation apps:

•Headspace

•Calm

•Stop, Breathe & Think

Crystals & Essential Oils:

•Rose Quartz

•Amethyst

•Bergamot Essential Oil (The Oil of Self Acceptance)

Useful Links:

https://healthyfamilies.beyondblue.org.au/pregnancy-and-new-parents/maternal-mental-health-and-wellbeing/mental-health-checklist-for-mums

https://www.pregnancybirthbaby.org.au/postnatal-depression

Bears of Hope - 1300 11 HOPE | www.bearsofhope.org.au

PANDA 1300 726 306

Peach Tree www.peachtree.org.au

Lisa Bondarenko, based in Adelaide, South Australia runs a private counselling practise and provides specialist support to patients and couples primarily dealing with fertility issues and IVF treatment. This is how Lisa and I met, she was my counsellor and the reason I didn't go completely bat-shit crazy. She also runs retreats and workshops, is a keynote speaker and author of Silent Tears - an authentic account of the highs, lows and everything in between that is often experienced through IVF and a fertility crisis. Lisa had her own 8 year journey to have her little boy Jack and todays episode takes us though that very journey with some very helpful information for couples going through IVF as well - including:

(2:22) how her own experience has given her understanding and empathy towards couples going through IVF

(8:20) it doesn't matter whose 'fault' and why the blame game serves no one - the process is still the process

(11:55) you are more than a mother or a father, there is more to your identity

(15:00) IVF is a loss and you are allowed to grieve

(22:00) the only way through grief, is through it and why moving is better than being stuck

(27:30) the most powerful thing to say to people who are going through IVF

(37:00) feeling the stigma and what we can do to change that

(41:30) how can couples look after themselves during the process looking after your relationship

(48:00) getting back into the drivers seat and taking control

(56:00) there's nothing wrong with taking some time out and running on your own schedule

+ a whole lot more!

You can find out more about Lisa here - www.lisabondarenko.com.au

On Instagram here

Amberley Harris is a 36 year old mother of 2, a registered midwife and founder of Maternal Instincts - a breastfeeding support business designed to educate & inspire the modern mama. Having been a midwife for over 10 years now, she believes that breastfeeding is absolutely achievable with the right support and she has given a modern makeover to the daggy breastfeeding videos produced in the 80's and 90's! NOTE: This is not an episode shaming mothers who haven't been able to breastfeed or making new mothers feel bad. This is about pointing women in the right direction of quality resources should they want to breastfeed or try some different techniques. Only you know what is right for you and your baby.

In today's episode we talk about:

(7:00) the basics of nipple position, mouth of baby and the importance of preparing BEFORE birth

(16:30) first 6 weeks is crucial and how to avoid nipple confusion

(21:00) benefits of breastfeeding

(25:00) how inductions and caesarians and hemorrages can impact breastfeeding and what you need to know

(27:25) why the #fedisbest and #breastisbest language doesn't help new mummas

(30:00) why with the right support you can go onto breastfeeding your subsequent

children even if you didn't have a positive experience with your first child

(32:10) must have products for breastfeeding

(42:45) what the #662 movement is and why you might like to consider it

+ a whole lot more!

You can find Amberley here: www.maternal-instincts.com.au

On Instagram here

TO RECEIVE $20 OFF Amberley's Breastfeeding Video Series ($79) CLICK HERE

Jo Anderson is a food, brand and lifestyle photographer (one of the best if you ask me!) who just happens to be a really great friend of mine. A mother of two herself, Jo is someone who has been there from the start of my fertility journey and someone who has always been such a beautiful shining light in my life. She exudes a warmth and wisdom that makes everyone she comes into contact with want to be her friend! And after listening to this episode, I am sure you will agree! We talk about such an important topic - you are not defined by your birth - and managing all of those expectations we can tend to feel as a new mum.

In this episode we cover:

(2:30) we discuss the collective pressure women feel to have a 'natural' birth and managing those expectations

(4:00) Jo's 4 day labour with her first child Marley and why she thought she couldn't ask for pain relief

(9:45) why having a private midwife made all the difference to her first birth

(16:22) assigning a new meaning to your birth - from 'failing' to 'birthing like a boss'

(18:10) the completely different experience of birthing her second daughter Summer

(24:00) being honest about not 'loving' motherhood and the disconnection Jo felt for the first 12 months of Marley's life and how that has now changed

(31:46) do what makes life easier for you, not necessarily what the experts say

(33:30) fitting in 'me' time as a mum and how this one simple change has made all the difference

(37:00) finding the divine feminine within and reconnecting with your husband

++ a whole lot more!

You can find Jo here:

www.joandersonphotography.com

and here on Instagram

Amanda Cavallaro, founder of the Anxiety Wellness Queen, has a background in Psychology, Criminology and Counselling and is passionate about reducing the stigma associated with mental health. Tired of the traditional and somewhat robotic methods used to treat anxiety, Amanda works one-on-one with clients in a way that validates your unique story and circumstance allowing you to feel comfortable and supported. In this episode we chat about how we can deal with anxiety as it pops up in pregnancy and why we need to be particularly gentle with ourselves and what we can do to support ourselves if we have had a miscarriage.

Specifically we talk about:

(5:10) Amanda's Top 5 tips for dealing with anxiety

(22:14) Essential Oils for Anxiety

(28:05) The ways you can support yourself emotionally during pregnancy and why I have an private Midwife (www.myownmidwifegc.com)

(30:23) How sharing your story connects you more

(33:00) The way in which I can stop myself comparing my pregnancy to others

(35:55) Amanda's experience with miscarriage and how to best care yourself if it happens

(48:10) Why we both don't agree with the 12 week rule

(50:30) Thoughts on what to say to someone who has had a miscarriage

++ a whole lot more

You can find Amanda here - www.anxietywellnessqueen.com

Instagram | Facebook | Twitter

Links and Numbers

SANDS - 1300 072 637 (miscarriage, stillbirth and newborn death support)

www.sands.org.au/

PANDA 1300 726 306

Pregnancy, Birth and Baby - 1800 882 436

Lifeline - 131114

Beyond Blue - 1300 224 636 | www.beyondblue.org.au

Bears of Hope - 1300 11 HOPE | www.bearsofhope.org.au

Peach Tree www.peachtree.org.au

In this episode I chat to Dr Nat Kringoudis, doctor of Chinese medicine, Acupuncturist, Author, Speaker and all-round natural fertility expert. She's also the founder of Melbourne women's health clinic, The Pagoda Tree, where her powerful fusion of Western and Chinese medicine, has helped thousands of women change the way they think about their health. Nat is also the creator of Yo'Nuts and producer of HealthTalks TV. And bonus, I get to call her my friend - someone that has been there for me since the start of our fertility journey.

Her latest book, Beautiful You shows you how your hormones affect sexuality, physical health and appearance and mental wellbeing.

Your body is talking ... It's time to listen!

This is Nat's latest (and very important) take home message and it's a reminder to take back our power and accept the responsibility to get to know our bodies lies with us - not our doctor. She opens up the discussion on understanding your own body, balancing hormones and sexual empowerment. PLUS you can learn how to make your hormones happier than a Pharrell Williams song!

In this episode we talk about:

(08:40) why quick-fix pills spell disaster for your long term health

(11:11) what your acne is telling you

(16:30) why periods should NOT be painful and what to do if they are

(21:50) what I attribute my success with IVF to and how Nat has supported her son's cystic fibrosis that has left the professionals gob smacked - mindset

(28:15) why it's so important to be up front with your children about sex

(34:41) why we need to teach teens about more then just preventing pregnancy

(40:50) how health conditions that you may be facing now are a direct result of how you have lead your life so far - and what you can do from this point on

(42:40) why it's not all doom and gloom for women with endometriosis and PCOS

+ a whole lot more!

Find Nat here: www.natkringoudis.com

Follow Nat here: www.instagram.com/natkringoudis

In this first episode, I open up about how I had to come to terms with the fact that I wasn't going to fall pregnant the way I thought I would. When you're young, you think making babies is as simple as having sex (if only!) Boy was that about a kazillion miles from the truth! This journey was a 5 year journey for hubby and I and in this episode I talk about:

(06:00) how guilty I felt as all of closest friends fell pregnant and I couldn't be there for them in the way that I wanted

(07:00) what going through my bitter, angry (and judgey!) stage phase was like

(10:10) how we responded to ignorant and insensitive questions and statements

(13:00) the moment I started to write a letter to my unborn child and how that made me realise what I really wanted

(14:30) how a gentle suggestion to perhaps try anti-depressants got me back on track

(16:20) how Anita Moorjani's book Dying to be Me changed everything!

(22:00) my baby-making lolly ritual and how I supported myself naturally

++ a whole lot more!

I hope by sharing my story anyone going through a similar situation feels a little less alone and a little more, even if just a glimmer, hope.

Morning sickness - it's like paying for a wild party you never got to go to! I honestly don't think anyone could have prepared me for how sh*t I was going to feel and how robbed of my health I could possibly be! This is my personal experience and some of the things that helped (and didn't do squat!)

In this episode I talk about:

(03:55) debunking the myth 'the sicker you feel the healthier the baby'

(04:45) my experience with acupuncture

(05:40) taking Vitamin B6 (I took this brand)

(06:30) why it's important to not get hungry!

(07:52) how Hypnosis can help (I used these two tracks, here and here)

(08:53) seasickness bands (I used these)

(10:00) why taking your vitamins at night could help

(10:15) Magnesium could be the missing factor (I used this spray)

(13:30) how essential oils helped me and why I don't fear using them

++ a whole lot more!

I hope you enjoy this episode and more importantly, it helps!