Becoming The Hero

Welcome back to another episode of The Hard Thing Podcast! This is The Forge. A weekly show that comes out on Thursday to dive deeper into what it’s like to do hard things and how to cope with trials. I’m your host Justin Lewis and usually on Thursdays I have my co host, Ty Crockett with me here to talk about some challenges we’ve given each other, but unfortunately I’m flying solo today, so I’ll be sharing some of my thoughts and impressions.

Before I jump in and start talking about rejection, I would like to invite you to go get a free audiobook about Rejection called Rejection Proof by Jia Jeng. Follow the author as he goes on a journey of rejection for 50 days. He talks about what learned about rejection and more importantly how to deal with and overcome rejection. It’s an excellent read and very fun to listen to. Go get your free copy at audibletrial.com/thehardthingpodcast and start becoming Rejection Proof today!

Today I want to talk about rejection. I know that there are people out there that will probably say, “Get over it. Stop being a baby. Stop wimping out. Toughen up.”

They’re right.

I’m kidding, but only sort of. To be sure, being able to push through rejection is a majorly useful skill. For those of us who are still trying to push ourselves above average, we need some lessons on how exactly to deal with rejection. And let me be clear, when I say deal with rejection, I mean that in a physical way and not just an emotional way. Psychology today says that “fMRI studies show that the same areas of the brain become activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain.” Everytime you are rejected romantically, rejected at work, or rejected in your everyday life, you literally feel some sort of pain. Obviously we have to deal with that pain and keep living, so here are 7 tips to help you deal with rejection.

1. Learn from it.

I recently reached out to an individual to invite to be a guest on my show. I received a very nice email informing me that we aren’t a good fit. As I read the email, I could feel my stomach sinking and my breath becoming more shallow and ragged and I felt these physical effects of rejection. I paused and resolved to send them an email asking for information to help me know what would make me a better candidate in the future.

Rejection is a blessing because if everything we tried worked out, we would never learn or grow and we would have way too many commitments and way too much stuff.

Rejection allows you to shape yourself and find out what doesn’t work and figure out what does. This is exactly why you need to put on your scientist cap.

1. Seek objectivity and Perspective

A good scientist understands that even a failed experiment gives them valuable data. Anytime you are rejected, you understand that something in the formula was wrong. Simply test and iterate until you find the right one. It’s also important to stop the spread of your rejected feelings from corrupting your understanding of yourself. You need to reorient yourself in your world. Take a moment and think about how little the rejection will affect other areas of your life.

1. Breathe

Breathing is huge for slowing down your heart and relaxing tension in your body and stopping yourself from blowing things out of proportion. In ancient days, society was necessary for survival. Your connections with others meant your connection to food, security and shelter. Being rejected might mean death. Our bodies evolved to have fight, flight, or freeze responses in order to help us survive. When we are rejected, we start to feel these same instinctive reactions and breathing can help you take back...

Today we discuss violence in the home & creating safer spaces.

Welcome back to the 98th episode of the Hard Thing Podcast.

Today I share my conversation with Sabrina Osso, of OssoSafe.

We start off talking about Sabrina's hardest thing, testifying against her father and being a deciding factor in him going to jail. Sabrina describes her childhood as being filled with violence. Her father was very violent towards her and her mother, and at a certain point, she started to resent both of her parents.

We then talk about tips for surviving violent relationships. Sabrina recommends to document the abuse, know that it's not your fault, know that there were warning signs but if you didn't know them, then you can't blame yourself. She also says that when the violence stops go to a good place or safe place in your residence, breathe, drink water and try your best to think of positive thoughts.

Sabrina then explains what she does with her business, OssoSafe. They work with landlords and residences to promote safety within the residence.

Thanks for listening to the show. Make sure you subscribe so you never miss an episode.

Support the Show:

Our show is now on Youtube! Check it out.

Also

If you want some accountability, join The Forge. Join us and our community to get special access to bonus content, as well as having a supportive community that will push you and hold you accountable. Join The Forge at theforge.mn.co.

 Patreon donation link: 

https://www.patreon.com/thehardthingpodcast

Help us raise $1,000 for the non-profit O.U.R. by going to https://www.gofundme.com/f/overcoming-average

 One Mission Nutrition (10% Discount): http://allegiance.1missionnutrition.com/thehardthingpodcast

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audibletrial.com/thehardthingpodcast 

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Again thanks so much for listening, and stay tuned to next week. Keep doing Hard Things, and Keep Overcoming Average.

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Hey, there adventurer!

Welcome back to another episode of The Hard Thing Podcast.

I’m your host, Justin Lewis and this is The Forge, a special show on thursdays where we take a closer look at what it actually looks like to do hard things including our personal wins and failures. When I say we, I usually mean myself and my cohost Ty Crockett, but today I am flying solo so you’ll have to bear with me. I know that generally it’s a better show with Ty on, but we’ll press on anyways.

Before we get to today’s show, a couple quick announcements.

First of all, if you’d like to submit a challenge to myself or Ty, go to thehardthingpodcast.com/submit-challenge. Each submission will get a shoutout on air. These challenges are great ways for you to see someone else doing a hard thing.

Next, I’d like to invite you to go to ourrescue.org and learn about one of my favorite non-profit organizations, Operation Underground Railroad. Much like the Underground Railroad of the Civil War, OUR helps rescue slaves. Yes you heard me right, slavery is alive and well and organizations like OUR are trying to put an end to it, but specifically trying to stop sex slavery of children. These poor little children get stolen and rarely do they get found or rescued. OUR is trying to turn that around. So if you want to get involved, visit ourrescue.org today.

Lastly, please give us a rating and a review and follow us wherever you listen to podcasts as well as on our social media @thehardthingpodcast. You’ll get even more content on our socials.

Now let’s talk about entrepreneurship. Don’t care about entrepreneurship, well wait just a minute. Entrepreneurship literally means to bring out something from within. It’s the idea of constantly making things better or taking ownership of your situation. If you don’t own a business or a side hustle, you can still use entrepreneurial skills in your job to make yourself a better employee. Not sure if you buy into what I’m saying? Keep listening and it will make sense.

Here are entrepreneurial skills that everyone should develop (including me)

1. Resourcefulness: This is the ability to make things work with less than optimal resources or connections. It’s being able to Macgyver yourself out of any situation. As an entrepreneur this means doing things cheaply, or bootstrapped and saving yourself extra expenses. As an employee this means saving your company money, therefore making yourself more useful to the company. As a parent this means thinking up interesting and creative ways to teach, entertain and lead your children. It’s the ability to see how things fit together that don’t traditionally fit together.
2. Win Win Solutions: You need to learn how to create reciprocal incentives. Basically find ways to make what you want and what someone else wants the same thing so you both work toward it willingly and it benefits both people. Two examples of this. In talking with Ty, before he was the cohost of this show, he’d mentioned he wanted to do something kind of like a podcast. So we talked and he eventually came onto the show. That benefitted both he and I. Another example. I recently connected with another friend who just graduated in graphic design and is wanting to build his portfolio. When I say connected. After talking we both decided that he would help me with some graphic design for the podcast in order for him to build his portfolio. I’m looking forward to when he let’s me promote him so I can return the favor. Reciprocal incentives.
3. Targeting: You need to get crystal clear about who you are talking to, and more importantly, who you aren’t talking to. Basically, you need to understand where you loyalties are. Are you loyal to your customers? Employees? Have you structured your business so they are one and the same? Understand what group is the most important group for you and do everything in your power to cater to their interests. Then,...

Today we discuss homelessness, aneurism, and business.

Welcome back to the 97th episode of the Hard Thing Podcast.

Today I share my conversation with Lady J Jacquie Muirell.

We start off by talking about her aneurism and being able to keep a positive work-life balance.

We proceed to talk about how this sickness has changed her life and how she's had to adapt.

We talk a lot today about business and some quotes from Lady J that I really liked are:

"Outside of dealing with a hard thing, you'll also have to make hard decisions."

"Chase purpose and the bag will chase you"

We then talk about parenting a little and I found that fairly insightful.

After the show, Lady J gave some tips on how to start a business:

1. Start with a strong foundation
2. Delegate
3. Avoid debt

She also gave us some action items:

1. Delegate more
2. Understand your limits
3. Support the people around you
4. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you

Thanks for listening to the show. Make sure you subscribe so you never miss an episode.

Support the Show:

Our show is now on Youtube! Check it out.

Also

If you want some accountability, join The Forge. Join us and our community to get special access to bonus content, as well as having a supportive community that will push you and hold you accountable. Join The Forge at theforge.mn.co.

 Patreon donation link: 

https://www.patreon.com/thehardthingpodcast

Help us raise $1,000 for the non-profit O.U.R. by going to https://www.gofundme.com/f/overcoming-average

 One Mission Nutrition (10% Discount): http://allegiance.1missionnutrition.com/thehardthingpodcast

Audible (Free Audiobook):

audibletrial.com/thehardthingpodcast 

Share the podcast with one person who could really use it.

 Leave a rating and a review.

Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any episodes. We are on Google Play, Apple Podcasts, and Spotify. 

Buy one of our Shirts or Hoodies

https://thehardthingpodcast.com/shop/

Get yourself a Fittrack

http://getfittrack.com?aff=728

Again thanks so much for listening, and stay tuned to next week. Keep doing Hard Things, and Keep Overcoming Average.

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Hey, there adventurer!

4 Not So Obvious Ways to Make Sure You Fail at Your Goals

Welcome back to another episode of The Hard Thing Podcast. I’m your host, Justin Lewis and this is The Forge where we look at ways to overcome obstacles or withstand trials that you are facing right now.

Normally, I have my co-host and friend, Ty Crockett on the show with me, but today I’m going solo. Usually he and I talk about challenges we’ve given to each other, but since he’s not here today, we’ll skip that. If you want to submit a challenge to us though, you can go to thehardthingpodcast.com/submit-challenge.

While I’m talking about announcements I want to encourage to check out Operation Underground Railroad. They’re a non-profit organization that goes undercover to rescue kids from sex trafficking. They are awesome because they help little ones who have no hope otherwise. Go learn more about them at ourrescue.org

Now, I want to help you learn how to not reach your goals. You heard right, this episode is all about not so obvious ways to make sure you stay exactly where you are in life and make no progress. Let’s get to it.

1.Choose many goals.

If you want to fail at your goals and never achieve them, you need to set your sights on everything. In the past, for me this looked like a large list of monthly goals that also created large weekly lists of different goals, and large daily to-do lists. I ended up busy without ever doing anything of value. My new system incorporates no more than 4 (usually 3) slightly more audacious goals every quarter. I then spend the majority of my “goal setting time” planning the tactics and methods of how to achieve them and then scheduling them in my calendar.

2. Do not record your goals

It’s a common phrase in the military that the enemy gets a vote. They also say no plan survives contact with the enemy. Generally this means you have to adapt. The hard part is knowing whether or not your mission success parameters have changed or not. Only you can decide that, but let me tell you from personal experience that when you have no measures of success written down, it’s a lot easier to let your goal or target drift down as far as standards go. We are human. We are naturally more inclined to complete goals than not, but we are also lazy. This generally means we set our sights lower and end up accomplishing virtually nothing.

3. Be very vague

We’ve all heard the method of creating SMART goals. This goes beyond that. Here’s an example from today. One of my goals is to run the 10k Spartan Race in Colorado Springs on June 19th. That is my goal. The methods I have lined out that I believe will get me there include 45 minutes of movement every single day, running most days, and running a specific number of kilometers every saturday. Those are my methods. This morning, being completely honest, I didn’t have the discipline to force myself to get out of bed to workout in the early morning. The thing I had to remind myself is that waking up early and working out is part of my goal. Only the working out part. So after work, I went and worked out for 45 minutes. I ran 2k, did some crossfit and then some ab work. That’s what I mean by not being vague. My goal is so specific that I can let other things that I am not focusing on go. This means you have to judge the value of certain behaviors in your life at this moment.

4.Make it harder on yourself

Honestly, one of the best ways to make yourself not reach your goals is to purposefully make it harder on yourself. Now don’t get me wrong. There’s a difference between a practice and a game. (Also see the step before about specificity). When you set out to make a large change in your life, you want as smooth a transition as possible so the change sticks. This means you need to get the support of your circle, you need all the tools you can get, you need to figure out processes that work for...

Today we discuss carnival rides, helping people, and asking people for help!

Welcome back to the 96th episode of the Hard Thing Podcast.

Today I share my conversation with Maxwell Ivey, author of theblindblogger.net. He was gracious enough to put out his email, so if you want to reach out to him, email [email protected].

We start off hearing how Maxwell learned how he needed to leave the carnival business and do something else.

We talk a lot about business today, so if you are interested in growing your business listen up today.

For Max, it was hard realizing that his family business had no need for him. He decided to leave and start a blog that then became very successful.

Something I learned a lot from Max about is the need to use creative solutions in the business. He gave examples of how the carnival business helped prepare him for his speaking business.

Max had really great insights into business, for example, "No cares about you, they just want to know if you'll be open." It was in the context of carnivals, but it applies in many other places.

Max obviously left us some action items:

1. Practice humility
2. Observe Problems solvers around you
3. Try the Reach Out Formula Max gave us
4. Ask for Help

Thanks for listening to the show. Make sure you subscribe so you never miss an episode.

Support the Show:

Our show is now on Youtube! Check it out.

Also

If you want some accountability, join The Forge. Join us and our community to get special access to bonus content, as well as having a supportive community that will push you and hold you accountable. Join The Forge at theforge.mn.co.

 Patreon donation link: 

https://www.patreon.com/thehardthingpodcast

Help us raise $1,000 for the non-profit O.U.R. by going to https://www.gofundme.com/f/overcoming-average

 One Mission Nutrition (10% Discount): http://allegiance.1missionnutrition.com/thehardthingpodcast

Audible (Free Audiobook):

audibletrial.com/thehardthingpodcast 

Share the podcast with one person who could really use it.

 Leave a rating and a review.

Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any episodes. We are on Google Play, Apple Podcasts, and Spotify. 

Buy one of our Shirts or Hoodies

https://thehardthingpodcast.com/shop/

Get yourself a Fittrack

http://getfittrack.com?aff=728

Again thanks so much for listening, and stay tuned to next week. Keep doing Hard Things, and Keep Overcoming Average.

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Hey, there adventurer!

How do you gain true intelligence and wisdom? 

That’s what we are talking about today, in The Forge.

Welcome back to the 22nd episode of The Forge.

For those of you who are new, The Forge is the Thursday show of The Hard Thing Podcast. The Hard Thing Podcast is focused on helping you become more resilient so you can overcome the trials and obstacles in between you and a better life.

Usually on Mondays, I speak with individuals who’ve done incredibly hard things in order to figure out how you and I can do hard things as well.

On Thursdays, usually myself, Justin Lewis and my co-host Ty Crockett put ourselves to the test doing the action items that my Monday guest gave us. We also give each other challenges in an attempt to show you what doing hard things looks like.

Today however, I am unfortunately alone so you will be hearing some thoughts I have about how to push yourself, do hard things, and create a better life and a better you.

We’ve had a bit of a spell where Ty and I haven’t given each other challenges, so if you want to help us out with that, go to thehardthingpodcast.com/submit-challenge, that’s thehardthingpodcast.com/submit-challenge and you can submit a challenge to us. You’ll get a shoutout on the show and maybe a $20 Amazon gift card if your challenge happens to be the challenge we select for our monthly challenge.

While you are checking that out, let me talk about todays’ topic.

Have you ever encountered someone who deeply impressed you with their wisdom and intelligence? 

I’m not talking about that one person we all know who tries to prove everyone wrong, or insert meaningless facts into otherwise fruitful conversations. That’s been me many times unfortunately, and speaking from experience, that’s not who you want to be. It makes you look insecure, and desperate for attention.

Instead, what you want is a long-lasting reputation for someone who can entertain deep thoughts, and engage in mutually enlightening discussion.

No, I’m not talking about thoughts like whether or not you tuck your pants into your shirt when you leave it untucked. I’m talking about that ability to engage in conversation with almost anyone you meet, and still add something to the conversation. Maybe it will become more clear as I explain ways that I believe will help you develop this deep intelligence.

Before I do, let me tell you clearly that I am not one of these people. I’m making this podcast episode to hopefully get my ideas out and clarify them to myself. You might disagree. Excellent. I’d love to have a discussion about it. Send me a message or comment @thehardthingpodcast on Instagram and we’ll have a chat.

Now here are 5 Practices to Develop Deep Intelligence

Read: You can’t hope to develop deep intelligence without spending a considerable amount of time reading. I’m not sure whether or not I count audiobooks (though they do help), but to be sure, spending time pouring over books will enhance your intelligence. I think a key point is not to do so superficially. Don’t read just so you can post pictures of what you’ve read on social media. Instead read to understand, and more importantly, read to change. Read every book as if it had the potential to be scripture. 

Ask Better Questions: There’s the common quote that says, “The Quality of your life will be dictated by the quality of your questions.” If you need any proof, think about your closest relationship. You ask them different questions than you ask someone you just met. Think about the times you felt closest to them. You ask different questions then too. You will most often only find answers to questions you ask. If you aren’t finding the answers you want, you need to ask better questions.

Learn to Think: I think our brains function like computers....

Today we discuss love languages, resilience, and redefining your normal.

Welcome back to the 95th episode of the Hard Thing Podcast.

Today I share my conversation with Justin and Alexis Black. They are the founders of Redefining Normal, The Scholarship Expert, and ROSE Empowerment Group. They also wrote the book Redefining Normal: How Two Foster Kids Beat The Odds and Discovered Healing, Happiness and Love . You can reach out to them via Facebook, Instagram, or their email ([email protected]).

Today we talk a lot about your upbringing and how to overcome a less than desirable childhood.

We also talk about abuse and being in an abusive relationship.

We talk about graduating college and being the first person in your family to do so.

We then talk about the relationship between Justin and Alexis and how they grew that relationship all while dealing with past emotional traumas.

They left us some action items to try:

1. Look for mentor/find your community
2. Take the Healthy Relationship Assessment
3. Buy their Book (Use Promo code 50OFFRN)
4. Do the Love Language Test
5. Take the ACES Assessment

Thanks for listening to the show. Make sure you subscribe so you never miss an episode.

Support the Show:

Our show is now on Youtube! Check it out.

Also

 Leave a rating and a review.

Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any episodes. We are on Google Play, Apple Podcasts, and Spotify. 

Get yourself a Fittrack

http://getfittrack.com?aff=728

Again thanks so much for listening, and stay tuned to next week. Keep doing Hard Things, and Keep Overcoming Average.

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Hey, there adventurer!

Welcome to the 21st episode of The Forge

The goal of the Thursday show is to show you our journey to hopefully help inspire you and hopefully help you relate more.

Today is just a solo show with myself.

I start off talking about the importance of self-awareness and I give each us a list of questions we should ask ourselves to develop more self-awareness.

1. What strengths do I have?
2. What am I insecure about?
3. What do people compliment me on?
4. What has no one ever complimented me on?
5. What are patterns of complaints around and about me?
6. What am I bad at?
7. Who would actually give me honest feedback if I asked them.
8. What parts of my life are messy?
9. In what areas of my life I have made virtually no progress and why?

While not comprehensive, this list gives you a great starting point to break down the walls of rose colored glass that we each build around ourselves. In some cases, it will make you more hopeful about yourself and your gifts because you weren't giving yourself enough credit anyways.

I then move on to give you a full review of the Dara BMI Fit Track.

I love this product because it tells you so much more about weight. It tells you your BMI, BMR, BFP, Protein rate, muscle mass, water rate, amount of fat, possible target weight and so much more.

In the show I step on the FIt Track so if you want to hear my real numbers, you gotta listen to the show.

Overall this product is great because it connects to your phone with bluetooth so you can track historical data as well.

Thanks for listening to today's episode.

We really appreciate the support.

If you want to submit a challenge to us head on over to thehardthingpodcast.com/submit-challenge

Don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode!

Again thanks so much for listening, & stay tuned to next week. Keep doing Hard Things, & Keep Overcoming Average.

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Hey, there adventurer!

Today we discuss self-awareness, business messes, humility, and personal growth.

Welcome back to the 94th episode of the Hard Thing Podcast.

Today I share my conversation with author and leadership expert, Scott J. Miller. Scott is also the host of the On Leadership with Scott Miller Podcast produced by Franklin Covey. Scott wrote the books "Marketing Mess to Brand Success" and "Management Mess to Leadership Success".

We start off the show talking about some of the hardest things Scott has done. He mentions being a parent, but as far as professional hard things, the hardest thing Scott has done was to lead a seminar where the original speaker could not make the event.

We then move on to talk a lot about self-awareness and being humble and genuine.

Scott mentions that you should own your mess and learn from it.

We talk about the art of knowing how to divulge your mistakes without spilling too much.

"Humble leaders are more concerned with what is right than being right." Scott shares this insightful quote and it comes up often throughout the conversation.

This lead us to discuss being a good leader, and using vulnerability, but also correct modeling in order to get the best out of your team.

There's a small moment where the internet cut out but it comes back on right after that.

Scott also mentions that the best people to be managers are not always the best in their field. Management is about leading people, not about being capable in a specialization.

We then discuss the necessity of pre-forgiveness, the idea that all members of a team will make mistakes and take risks, but they will be forgiven as long as they work to correct them.

Scott shares the insight that it is possible to overcommunicate, despite what most people believe. What is important is that communication is concise, clear, and confident.

Scott shares many of his insights on leadership. One that stuck with me is that it's the relationships between people that are the greatest assets of a company, not the people themselves. Therefore fostering relationships is key.

"Every business is in the same business. You're in the relationship business."

Nearly all conflicts in life come from mismatched expectations. Therefore declare intent and expectations. This will require you to summon some courage. These are more insights brought to you by Scott.

We then deliberate on the necessity of trust and the methods on how to be trustworthy and how your team are the ones who decide if you are trustworthy.

We later chat about humility and what that really means. This brings up the topic of self-awareness and confidence. Scott defines humility as the intersection of vulnerability and confidence.

This involves thinking about what it's like to work with you, be your friend, be married to you and so forth. So ask, what is it like to be married, work with, or whaterever with me?

Scott later...