We're going on a tour around the world to try all the popular, boring macro lagers it has to offer.

Our favorite Sword and Sandal movies are on the docket today. That includes movies about Ancient Greece, the Roman Empire, and Feudal Japan. Sometimes the movie stops before the action is done. Sometimes the movie has hardcore sex scenes thrown in at random. But one thing's for certain: any historically accurate homosexual storylines will be promptly swept under the rug for the sake of the puritanical American viewing audience.

It's that time again! Time to sardonically mock some good people who are just trying to give their honest, heartfelt opinions as they review the beers they drink. That's maybe not the best description for what this is, but it's no worse than the word salad we find in these reviews we read, am I right?

Just because it's old doesn't mean it's not worthy of discussion. If that were the case, we would never talk about anything. All we know is old stuff.

We've got another tasty dark beer on the docket today. American Porters are one of those dark beer styles that you can drink all year long. So grab one and have a listen!

From simply drinking a Kolsch, you might not realize what a weird beer style it is. But hey, that's what we're here for.

We're feeling whimsical today, so we're going to take a break from talking about beer and instead go over our favorite movie soundtracks. But don't worry, we will still be very drunk while we do so.

While discussing this delightfully strong Belgian beer style, we also dip in and out of conversations about serving beer in schools, offensive beer names, and the DTs.

Oh, and there are some spoilers for the 2015 film The VVitch, so consider yourself warned.

Do you love the 2003 Russell Crowe film Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World as much as we do?

I doubt that.

What does that have to do with a Dark Mild, you ask?

Nothing whatsoever. But that doesn't stop us from rambling on and on about it when we're supposed to be talking about beer. It's not even our pairing movie for Dark Mild, it's just something we got wrapped up in and couldn't stop talking about. It happens.

But we do talk about Dark Milds, too. Just not with the same passion as when we talk about Master and Commander.

It really is a stellar movie. One that doesn't get the credit it deserves. I mean, sure, it won Academy Awards for sound editing and cinematography, but it has so much more to offer than just good sound and imagery. It also has heart...

We're talking creamy Cream Ales on this episode. It's not the most exciting style out there, but it is one of them. So here we go!