Parashat Yitro describes a situation that is quite common – a father-in-law giving his son-in-law unsolicited advice. Yitro – the father of Moshe Rabbenu's wife, Tzippora – observed how Moshe sat all day as the people lined up to consult with him, specifically, to resolve their disputes. This worried Yitro, who warned Moshe that such an arrangement could be harmful to Moshe. He therefore advised Moshe to appoint judges who would help him shoulder this burden of responsibility. They – not him – would advise the people, and only the more difficult questions would come to Moshe for him to decide. Notably, Moshe accepted Yitro's advice, and appointed a network of judges. Seeking advice is critically important. Somebody who doesn't seek advice, who always acts upon his own thoughts and decisions, is living in an island in his own head. If a person thinks he's smarter and knows better than everyone else is, in all likelihood, a fool. However, we must be very careful when seeking advice. For one thing, we need to exercise discretion, and not allow ourselves to take advice from everybody and anybody. Too many people offer "drive-thru" advice, just blurting out recommendations and suggestions without knowing anything about us, or about the situation. Telling someone to get married at a young age because "the finances will work out, don't worry," without knowing anything about the person's situation, is not necessarily great advice. The same goes for advice about what career to pursue, what schools to enroll one's children in, and so on. "Off-the-cuff" advice given by somebody who doesn't have much knowledge about the person he or she is advising should be taken with a healthy dose of skepticism. But there is also a more fundamental concern when it comes to advice, one which is developed by Rav Shlomo Wolbe, in a fascinating passage in Aleh Shur . Rav Wolbe laments the practice that many people have to immediately turn to a friend whenever they encounter any sort of question, whenever they are uncertain about how to proceed. This habit, Rav Wolbe writes, prevents a person from becoming wise. The proper approach is to first analyze both sides of the question, weigh the pros and cons of each option, and then reach a decision. Afterward, one should bring his question, and his decision, to his fellow to receive his advice. If a person never develops the skill of decision-making, of reaching his own conclusions, then he will never live an authentic life. He will instead be living the life that other people tell him to live, without actualizing his unique potential and being the unique person that he's supposed to be. Significantly, Yitro began his advice to Moshe by telling him the following: והזהרתה אתהם את החוקים ואת התורות, והודעת להם את הדרך ילכו בה, ואת המעשה אשר יעשון. You shall warn them of the statutes and the laws, and you shall inform them of the path they should follow, and the actions that they should perform. (18:20) Yitro was concerned not only about Moshe's wellbeing, but also about the nation asking him for too much advice. He was worried about Moshe working too hard – but also that the people were coming to him right away with their problems, without first trying to work it out themselves. Therefore, his advice to Moshe was not only to appoint others to assist him – but also to instruct the people, to impart to them knowledge and wisdom, to explain to them how Hashem wants us to live our lives. This will encourage them to first look for the answers themselves before seeking advice. As we mentioned earlier, it is vitally important to get advice, to be open-minded, to recognize that we don't have all the answers, and that we can often benefit from other people's experience and perspectives. At the same time, however, we need to be careful not to outsource our lives, not to leave all our decisions in the hands of people who don't really know us and what we're going through. In a famous pasuk in the Book of Mishleh (19:21), King Shlomo teaches, רבות מחשבות בלב איש, ועצת ה' היא תקום – "There are many thoughts in a man's heart, but it is the counsel of G-d that will prevail." The common understanding of this pasuk is that as much as we plan and strive to do certain things, ultimately, it is the will of Hashem that materializes. Rav Wolbe, however, offers a deeper explanation of this pasuk. He explains that we have many "thoughts," many different ideas, questions about whether we should do X or Y. But more often than not, we know what עצת ה' is, what it is that Hashem wants of us. When we sort through the various מחשבות , the many different thoughts and ideas, it is not difficult to determine עצת ה' , the right decision to make, the right thing to do. Very often, when we face some uncertainty, we actually know the answer. It's just a matter of being honest with ourselves and recognizing what Hashem wants of us. As important as it is to be open to advice – it is no less important to know when we don't need advice, and when we need instead to listen to the עצת ה' , to have the strength and conviction to do what we know we should do.