This class, the first in a series on the discourse V'shavti B'sholom, published in Torah Or Vayeitze, said by the Alter Rebbe on Shabbos Parshas Vayeitzei, 11 Kislev, 5568 (1807),  was presented by Rabbi YY Jacobson on Thursday, 7 Kislev, 5786, November 27, 2025, Parshas Vayetzei, at Bais Medrash Ohr Chaim in Monsey, NY.

Moshe Zev Lamm, LCSW,  a couples therapist, presented this talk in November 2025 on the fundamentals of how to understand, build, and maintain emotional intimacy in marriage. This lecture was given as part of the creation of a broader curriculum for couples in their first year of marriage.

This class was presented by Rabbi YY Jacobson on Tuesday, 5 Kislev, 5786, November 25, 2025, Parshas Vayetzei, at The Barn @ 84 Viola Rd. in Montebello, NY.

The Medrash describes a hidden scene on the wedding night of Yaakov and Leah. Throughout the night, Yaakov kept calling the bride “Rachel,” and Leah answered each time. In the morning, when the deception was revealed, Yaakov confronted her: “How could you answer to the name Rachel? You are just like your father, Lavan—a deceiver!” Leah replied with the shocking line: “Is there a barber without students? Didn’t your father call for Esav, and you answered ‘I am Esav’?” At first glance, Leah appears to justify deception with deception—but that cannot be the message. The matriarch of Klal Yisrael wouldn’t base righteousness on revenge or moral equivalence.

To understand her words, the shiur introduces a profound idea. The Torah writes “הִיא לֵאָה” (“she is Leah”) but spells it “הוּא לֵאָה” (“he is Leah”), hinting that Yaakov’s shock that morning was not simply discovering who Leah was, but discovering who he was. Leah became a mirror. When Yaakov deceived Yitzchak by dressing as Esav, he spiritually adopted the role of Esav—not in wickedness, but because Hashem needed him to carry both types of Jewish souls: those of pure light (Rachel) and those who struggle, fall, rise, and wrestle their way to greatness (Leah/Esav archetype). The moment Yaakov declared “I am Esav,” he entered the world of struggle—which meant the soulmate for that part of him was no longer Rachel alone, but Leah, who embodies exhaustion, complexity, and inner confrontation.

Thus, Leah’s response was not defensive sarcasm but a deep revelation: “I didn’t merely deceive you; I stepped into the place you created. You became Esav for a holy purpose—and therefore, your Esav-part must marry its counterpart. I am the mirror of the struggle inside you.” In this view, the switch under the chuppah wasn’t random trickery. It was a continuation of Yaakov’s own spiritual journey. Rachel represents his light, innocence, and clarity; Leah represents his darkness that can be transformed into light—the hard inner work, the exhaustion, the buried pain, the shadow that must be redeemed to access deeper strength.

Ultimately every Jew descends from both Rachel and Leah—both the part of us that feels aligned and luminous and the part that feels heavy, complicated, and exhausted. True wholeness comes only when both are embraced. That is why Yaakov is buried with Leah, not Rachel. His life’s completion came not only from the parts that felt easy and beautiful, but from the parts that demanded courage, mirroring, self-confrontation, and transformation. The message of the Medrash is that our “Leah moments”—our struggles, shadows, and discomfort—are not punishments but invitations to greatness. And that is the deeper meaning of the badeken: by veiling the kallah, we declare, “I am ready to marry not only the parts of you that I see now, but also the hidden parts I cannot yet see — and this commitment is only possible if I am also willing to meet, accept, and marry the hidden parts within myself.”

This text-based class is the fifth class in a series on the Chassidic discourse (Maamar) "Vayehu Chayei Sarah," said by the Lubavitcher Rebbe on Shabbos Parshas Chayei Sarah, 25 Cheshvan, 5712, November 24, 1951, was presented by Rabbi YY Jacobson on Monday, 4 Kislev, 5786, November 24, 2025, Parshas Vayetzei, at Bais Medrash Ohr Chaim in Monsey, NY.

This class sums up the structure of the Maamar and continues to explore the deeper meaning behind Chava eating from the Tree of Knowledge and the snake having "intimacy" with Chava. We explore the meaning of true Bitul, in which surrender is not hijacked by the ego, and how wanting to be remembered is a subtle form of idolotry, created by the trauma of separateness. 

This text-based class is the fourth class in a series on the Chassidic discourse (Maamar) "Vayehu Chayei Sarah," said by the Lubavitcher Rebbe on Shabbos Parshas Chayei Sarah, 25 Cheshvan, 5712, November 24, 1951, and was presented by Rabbi YY Jacobson on Thursday, 29 Cheshvan, 5786, November 20, 2025, Parshas Toldos, at Bais Medrash Ohr Chaim in Monsey, NY.

This class sums up the structure of the Maamar and continues to explore the deeper meaning behind Chava eating from the Tree of Knowledge and the snake having "intimacy" with Chava. We explore the meaning of true Bitul, in which surrender is not hijacked by the ego, and how wanting to be remembered is a subtle form of idolotry, created by the trauma of separateness.    

This class was presented by Rabbi YY Jacobson on Tuesday, 27 Cheshvan, 5786, November 18, 2025, Parshas Toldos, at The Barn @ 84 Viola Rd. in Montebello, NY.

This class was presented by Rabbi YY Jacobson on Monday, 26 Cheshvan, 5786, November 17, 2025, Parshas Toldos, at Bais Medrash Ohr Chaim in Monsey, NY.

This text-based class is the second class in a series on the Chassidic discourse (Maamar) "Vayehu Chayei Sarah," said by the Lubavitcher Rebbe on Shabbos Parshas Chayei Sarah, 25 Cheshvan, 5712, November 24, 1951, was presented by Rabbi YY Jacobson on Thursday, 22 Cheshvan, 5786, November 13, 2025, Parshas Chayei Sarah, at Bais Medrash Ohr Chaim in Monsey, NY.

This class sums up the structure of the Maamar and continues to explore the deeper meaning behind Chava eating from the Tree of Knowledge and the snake having "intimacy" with Chava. We explore the meaning of true Bitul, in which surrender is not hijacked by the ego, and how wanting to be remembered is a subtle form of idolotry, created by the trauma of separateness. 

This text-based class is the first class in a series on the Chassidic discourse (Maamar) "Vayehu Chayei Sarah," said by the Lubavitcher Rebbe on Shabbos Parshas Chayei Sarah, 25 Cheshvan, 5712, November 24, 1951, was presented by Rabbi YY Jacobson on Monday, 19 Cheshvan, 5786, November 10, 2025, Parshas Chayei Sarah, at Bais Medrash Ohr Chaim in Monsey, NY.

This class sums up the structure of the Maamar and continues to explore the deeper meaning behind Chava eating from the Tree of Knowledge and the snake having "intimacy" with Chava. We explore the meaning of true Bitul, in which surrender is not hijacked by the ego, and how wanting to be remembered is a subtle form of idolotry, created by the trauma of separateness. 

This class was presented by Rabbi YY Jacobson on Tuesday, 13 Cheshvan, 5786, November 4, 2025, Parshas Vayera, at The Barn @ 84 Viola Rd. in Montebello, NY.

Why would Sarah deny the truth that she laughed? The Torah says, “because she was afraid.” Afraid of whom? Why was she afraid to tell Abraham that she laughed? After all, she was 89 years old, and Sarah stood her own in the presence of Abraham. 

Maybe the Torah means she was scared of G-d. But that is senseless. Did she believe that you can hide from G-d? 

Even more strange is the response to her denial. “But He said, ‘No, you laughed indeed.’” What was this all about? A he said/she said game in the therapist’s office? She said I never laughed; he says: No you did laugh! Okay great. Now what? 

The biggest question is this: When this miracle child is actually born, the name he receives is Yitzchak, which means LAUGHTER! Sarah said, “God has brought me laughter; everyone who hears will laugh with me!”

Strange. When Sarah hears she will have a child, she laughs. G-d gets upset over the fact that she is laughing. He confronts Abraham about her laughter. She denies it. Then Abraham, or G-d, says: No, you did laugh, Sarah! And then when the baby was born, they gave him that very name—laughter!

There seems to be some strange theme unfolding here.

One of the Chassidic masters, the Sefas Emes, provides a marvelous commentary. It was the moment that created the eternal and legendary Yiddishe Mamme, who will stop for nothing to protect and to believe in her children, and offer them the maternal holding, the fit of inner regulation, peace, and self-love.

Cynicism undermines our feminine energy in very profound ways. It buries our trust. Our mother Sarah needed not only to avoid it, but to transform it.