🎙️ The Weight of Clothes: What Your Wardrobe Reveals About Your Weight Story

In this episode, I’m sharing an exercise I’ve done with many women, one that turned out to reveal far more than any of us expected.

It’s called The Weight of Clothes, though really, it’s a wardrobe exercise. I’ll walk you through what other women discovered and how you can try it yourself.

What You’ll Learn

• • Why your wardrobe can act as a mirror for your weight history.
  • How clothing sizes reveal unspoken rules about body trust and control.
  • Why so many women keep clothes from the past, present, and future, and what that says about dieting patterns.
  • How multiple clothing sizes can reflect the diet–hope–abandonment cycle.
  • Two questions to help you move from evidence to insight:
  1. What emotions are attached to your smallest and largest sizes?
  2. What would happen if you let go of clothes that don’t fit?

Key Message:

This isn’t about decluttering, it’s about seeing what your wardrobe shows you about how your eating system works. Because you can’t change what you can’t see.

🎧 If this episode resonated with you, please share it or rate the podcast so other women can find it. You can learn more at weightingforhappiness.com.au

🎧 Episode Overview

In this episode of Before Dieting, I bring the concept of family food culture to life through one woman’s story.

Ingrid’s lifelong struggle with weight wasn’t about willpower or discipline, it was about an invisible eating system that began in childhood and shaped her adult relationship with food.

Her story reveals why diets can’t address the root cause and how uncovering hidden food rules can help women finally regain agency over their eating.

✨ Key Takeaways

1. Diets can’t defeat invisible systems.

Ingrid’s experience shows that eating isn’t just about food, it’s about emotional wiring formed through years of family rules. When those subconscious systems collide with diet rules, the diet never wins.

2. Childhood access and agency create lifelong patterns.

Ingrid grew up with no choice over what or when to eat. Once she gained freedom, her eating became open-ended, a pendulum swing from restriction to overindulgence. Those early experiences still drive her food choices today.

3. Relief eating isn’t bingeing.

Her nightly secret sweets weren’t about greed or lack of control. They were a form of relief, a way to deal with emotion and reclaim a sense of autonomy after years of living by someone else’s rules.

4. Real change begins with awareness, not restriction.

Ingrid’s progress didn’t start with another diet. It started when she recognised her eating system, learned to name emotions, and began rebuilding missing skills.

💡 Why It Matters

This story highlights a truth many women share: weight struggles are not failures of discipline, but the natural outcome of unseen systems running in the background. When you uncover the rules that govern your eating, you can finally stop fighting them and start rewriting them.

Leave a comment or DM me on LinkedIn linkedin.com/in/bronwynfletcheratweightingforhappiness

In this episode, I explore the hidden lessons learned at family mealtimes. Across thousands of childhood meals, rules about eating, belonging, and control were silently taught and absorbed. Those rules still determine adult eating patterns today, often more powerfully than any diet.

By revisiting your early food history, you can begin to see why willpower alone has never been enough and how reclaiming awareness of your family food culture is the first step to restoring agency over what and how you eat.

Key Points

• • Family food culture describes the unspoken rules and behaviours you learned around food in childhood.
  • The “family dining table” is a metaphor for wherever food and family came together.
  • An average of 4,000 childhood meals created and reinforced lifelong eating rules.
  • The setup, seating, and atmosphere of those meals carried messages about hierarchy, safety, and belonging.
  • These deeply embedded systems often conflict with diet rules, making long-term weight change impossible without understanding them first.

Takeaway

A diet can change what you eat for a while, but it can’t undo the 4,000 meals that trained your eating system. Once you recognise where your rules began, you can start choosing which ones still deserve a place at your table.

If you'd like to leave a comment, or email me a question at [email protected]

#FamilyFoodCulture #EatingSystems #WeightingForHappiness #BeforeDieting #WomensHealth #WeightLossMindset

Episode Overview

This episode explores how the rules of childhood food culture still shape eating today. Family food culture is more than mealtimes; it’s the unspoken rules, behaviours, and permissions that form the foundations of an eating system. Unless these rules are uncovered, diets can only ever be temporary fixes.

Key Messages

• • Family food culture is the invisible set of rules you absorbed around food in childhood.

• • These rules were learned through meals, role models, and permissions, not consciously chosen.

• • Childhood experiences of food access and agency leave lasting consequences.

• • Access is about freedom: could you open the fridge, make toast, or snack without asking?

• • Agency is about choice: could you refuse food or ask for something different?

• • Lack of food autonomy often leads to patterns like overeating, hoarding, or never trusting hunger signals.

• • Memories of your childhood kitchen hold clues: was it warm and welcoming, or a place of control?

• • Today’s struggles with food, overeating, anxiety when food runs low, or over-catering, are echoes of those early rules.

• • Real change isn’t about another diet; it’s about recognising and reworking the system you inherited.

If you like to ask a question or make a comment about the any episode of Before Dieting… you can email me at [email protected]  

Cheers

Bronwyn

Most women measure weight ‘success’ with a single number on the bathroom scale. That single metric is narrow, punishing, and often misleading. In this episode, Bronwyn explains why a range of measures makes progress visible, why SMART goals often backfire in weight cycling, and how to set outcomes that actually match what you want in your life.

You’ll hear some goals are imposed from outside (family, partners, doctors, social media) and how ‘indirect goals’ like ‘I’ll be confident when I’m lighter’ can send you down the wrong path. We finish with practical, non-scale measures you can use right now.

Summary

• • A single number isn’t a reliable measure; weight naturally fluctuates.
  • SMART goals assume straight lines and willpower, not complex systems.
  • Check the source of your goal: imposed, borrowed, or indirect?
  • Swap ‘the number’ for measures that matter to you (mobility, energy, mental space).

Try this

• • Ask: ‘What outcome do I really want? Health, mobility, energy, confidence?’
  • Choose 2–3 alternate measures to track for the next month.
  • DM Me (Bronwyn) on LinkedIn with your measurers.

If this helped, follow, rate and share the episode with a friend who’s stuck on the bathroom scale.

Questions can change your weight

In this episode of Before Dieting, Bronwyn Fletcher explores how blame and shame hold you back from discovering the root cause of your recurring weight. Hear how the way out of this repeating weight cycle comes from the questions you ask.

You’ll learn how:

• • blame and shame shuts down inquiry
  • insight comes from asking shame-free and counterintuitive questions
  • asking deeper questions can get to the root cause of recurring weight

Please help other women find the podcast by leaving us a rating and review.

Get the Programs here

OR https://www.weightingforhappiness.com.au/plans-pricing

Get the free eBook here

OR https://www.weightingforhappiness.com.au/

🎧 Podcast Show Notes – Episode 1, Season 2

Title: Food Is Love: Carmela’s Story and the Hidden Systems Beneath Overeating

Episode Description:

Welcome to Season Two of Before Dieting. I’m your host, Bronwyn Fletcher, and this season we continue identifying the root causes of women’s recurring weight. Causes that diets alone can never fix.

In today’s episode, we dive into Carmela’s story. A woman whose eating system was built on comfort, ritual, and family belonging. From joyful Friday night cooking sessions to the disconnection, she felt after losing weight, Carmela’s journey shows how food can become far more than fuel. It can be love, tradition, and sometimes a trap.

You’ll hear what happens when you stop eating the way your family always has. And what you risk when you challenge the unspoken rules around food and belonging.

We’ll unpack:

• • How family cultural patterns shape eating systems
  • How a moving to Japan changed Carmela’s relationship with food
  • What happens when your identity is tied to family food rituals
  • How creating new systems can support both health and connection

🎙️ Plus, you’ll get two journal prompts for you to delve into your own family food story.

We’re trying to change the misconception that losing weight is simple. If this episode resonates, please rate, review, and share. It helps other women discover the stories that could change everything.

Thanks in advance and if you would please leave a review and a comment I'd love it.

Regards

Bronwyn Fletcher

Listen on my site

When it comes to weight loss, most advice stops at “eat less and move more.” But what if the real reason you can’t lose weight, or keep it off goes much deeper?

In this episode of Before Dieting, Bronwyn Fletcher takes a closer look at the eating rules you absorbed in childhood and how they quietly shape your behaviour as an adult. From “finish everything on your plate” to “don’t be greedy,” these rules often run on autopilot, steering your eating without you even realising.

Through the story of Joanne, you’ll hear how dinner-table rules around vegetables, meat, and plate-clearing followed her into adulthood, affecting portion sizes, snacking, and even how she feeds others. You’ll also learn how thousands of repetitions of simple instructions like “eat up” hardwire rules so deeply that surface-level weight loss advice, like mindful chewing or stopping before you’re full, doesn’t stand a chance.

But here’s the important part: rules aren’t always bad. Some can be useful when you’re aware of them, like Julie’s simple rules that help her navigate social situations without overeating. The danger comes when you don’t even know which rules you’re following, and they’re driving you toward results you don’t want.

Bronwyn explains why diets get it wrong, how they clash with your existing rule set, and why no diet can rewrite your food story, rules, or eating system for you. Most importantly, you’ll discover that rules aren’t fixed. Once you uncover them, you have the power to choose, and that choice opens the door to real, sustainable change.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• • The difference between food stories, food rules, and eating systems
  • How childhood rules around eating follow you into adulthood
  • Why well-meaning rules like “finish everything on your plate” can override hunger signals
  • Why diet rules fail when they collide with rules already wired in
  • How conscious awareness of your rules creates space for new choices

Key Takeaway

Your food story, rules, and eating system are personal and unique to you. Once you see them clearly, you don’t have to be ruled by them.

Call to Action

If Before Dieting is helping you shift how you think about weight loss, please take a moment to rate the podcast and leave a comment. It helps other women caught in the weight-regain cycle find their way here too.

For more information read my Blog at weightingforhappiness.com.au

Or read the Transcript on my podcast page at weightingforhappiness.com.au/podcast

🎙️ The Human Face of the Diet Hope and Abandonment Cycle

Every time a new diet promises hope, women everywhere tell themselves this time will be different. But it rarely is. In this episode of Before Dieting, Bronwyn Fletcher puts a human face on the diet hope and abandonment cycle by sharing Francine’s raw, everyday story.

From the optimism of day one, to the crushing self-talk of ‘failure,’ and the deeper realisation that food meant love and belonging, Francine’s experience reveals the invisible systems that keep women trapped in the weight regain.

You’ll hear:

• • Why diets recycle the same weight, no matter how ‘new’ they seem.
  • How food stories from childhood shape eating patterns for life.
  • The hard question Francine had to ask herself: what food legacy was she passing on to her children?
  • Why understanding your food story is the first step out of the cycle.

If you’ve ever wondered why your weight struggles never end, this episode will give you an honest, shame-free perspective on food stories, and two powerful questions to start uncovering your own.

👉 Listen now and see what’s been hiding beneath the surface of your weight story.

Read the Transcript

Please check out my Blog

Get a copy of my free e-book, 'Why diets work until they don't'

In today's episode, Bronwyn Fletcher helps us ditch the blame, step away from diet culture, and rethink what really causes recurring weight. Forget the old story that says being overweight is just about overeating and needs a simple diet fix. Bronwyn makes the case that diets aren’t one-size-fits-all, and if you’ve ever felt like a diet “failed,” it wasn’t your fault.

We talk about how western thinking jumps to quick solutions, why diet hacks are everywhere, and why habits like “drink a glass of water before meals” sound logical but don't get to the root of the real issue. Bronwyn urges listeners to look at weight loss like a jigsaw puzzle, where every piece matters, including upbringing, emotions, and body protection.

• • Permanent weight loss is complex, not simple.
  • Changing your mindset from “problem solving” to “puzzle building” opens up new possibilities.
  • Building habits alone won't break the cycle, understanding your food story can.

Check out my blog for an example of the weight loss puzzle or download my free e-book to see how to solve your puzzle

See the transcript on my website