A Thousand Tiny Steps

Beginning a Secret Relationship


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As my life financially kept getting worse, I began a relationship with Roy. Itt had amazing times, but was also filled with gaslighting and love bombing. I debated leaving my marriage, thinking about my kids, and how my life could have alternatively happened. As all this was happening, things finally blew up with my husband and it felt like my entire world was crumbling down. 

 

Key Takeaways: 

 

[3:41] Struggling financially and spending a lot of time working 

[4:32] Trauma bonding with others 

[6:06] Canceling everything to talk to Roy

[8:04] Spending more time with Roy and the terrible comments 

[9:40] Social media disaster and being angry with Roy 

[10:54] Starting to get wrapped up in a life with him 

[12:32] Starting a romantic relationship with him 

[14:29] I think Amy and Roy shared a lot with one another 

[15:37] Neglecting my life to spend time with Roy 

[16:59] I didn’t want to leave my marriage 

[19:09] Struggling to decide to end my marriage and be with Roy

[21:23] Roy preferred things a certain way and we argued 

[23:36] He spent a lot of time on the phone with other women 

[24:47] Trying to get a restraining order against Amy’s boyfriend 

[27:05] Going skiing, it being wonderful but there were red flags

[31:28] Roy not being grateful for the gift I got him 

[32:54] Being yelled at and not communicating 

[32:48] Our second big fight: choosing music in the car

[36:31] Visiting my biological dad in person for the last time 

[37:31] Things officially blowing up with Kenny

[39:51] Testifying in court for Roy 

[40:51] Complaints at school were being made 

[43:25] Helping Roy talk to his children again 

[45:24] Going from being on top of the world to it tumbling down

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A Thousand Tiny StepsBy Barb Higgins

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