Patrick is 20 years old and has written a book that is filled with so much wisdom. We got to chatting about the impact of phones on society, instant gratification, his process for writing his book, and his unique outlook on life. In this episode, Patrick talks about his journey to find happiness and what he’s learned along the way.

Key Takeaways:

[1:23] Patrick’s basketball career and switching universities

[5:37] How I wrote my book

[9:32] Being addicted to your phone and getting a flip phone 

[15:35] Expecting instant gratification because of phones 

[23:32] Relationship expectations have changed and not in a good way

[28:17] Reading a page from Patrick’s book about missing connection

[29:53] The philosophers that have influenced the book 

[31:53] Living in the moment and meditating

[34:21] Going to Bali to learn what Patrick has already 

[38:28] The framework from the book: the foundation of peace 

[41:53] Maslow’s hierarchy of needs 

[43:41] Lived experienced versus book knowledge 

[47:32] Gain wisdom from bad events 

Resources:

• The Happiness Continuum 

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The Molly B Foundation

Matt, the host of The Life Shift, came on to talk about losing his mom, perfectionism, learning new ways to grieve, and how having a podcast has been so validating. He goes through his journey of grief over a lifetime and how for so long he did what society expected of him. Now he has a different view on life and tries to share it every week. 

Key Takeaways:

[1:20] Losing my mom at age 8 and no one around me talking about their grief 

[5:02] Being perfect out of fear and grieving the things you didn’t get to do

[8:41] I didn’t have a safe place and lost all of the items I cared about 

[11:49] I don’t really remember my mom and all the moving I did as a child

[14:05] Using my mom’s death as a crutch and doing what I was “supposed to” in life

[21:38] I feel like I’ve closed the door on grief with my mom

[22:56] My grandma dying and having a conversation with her about our grief  

[26:47] Having a living funeral and saying the things you want to while they’re alive 

[30:23] If my mom hadn’t died, I wouldn’t be this version of me 

[32:26] My twenties was about doing what society expected of me 

[33:21] In my thirties, I took a break, grieved on my terms, and did something scary

[32:35] Hearing other people's struggles is validating 

[41:56] The power of having control over someone else’s story

[46:02] Losing a pet is a grieving experience that shouldn’t be invalidated 

[52:49] We don’t know what people are going through, meet them where they are

Resources:

• Matt’s Podcast: The Life Shift

• Instagram

• YouTube

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The Molly B Foundation

Gabby is the daughter of Tim who had a pig kidney put inside him, but he knows it’s only a temporary fix. So it sent Gabby on a journey to initially be a possible candidate to donate her kidney, but it became so much more. It has become a journey of health - and what that means to her. 

Key Takeaways:

[1:51] Gabby traveled all over the country and took care of animals 

[4:33] Having a dad on dialysis needing a kidney but not being eligible due to BMI

[9:39] Getting gastric bypass surgery, the pain, and the emotional hurdles 

[16:03] Finding out my partner has kidney disease 

[20:41] Discovering some of my weight is genetic 

[27:13] The choice of possibly donating my kidney and the stress on my mom 

[32:35] Believing in yourself even when it feels like everything is against you 

Resources:

• Tim’s episode 

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The Molly B Foundation

Highway to Hell… waitttt a minute, sorry, wrong place, although it can feel like that sometimes. In this episode, I am once again brought back to making other people comfortable in my grief. I may be at exit twenty in grief on a really good day, but the others? Well, it can feel like the highway to hell. 

Key Takeaways:

[0:46] Bereaved Parents Month and my mixed thoughts on it 

[3:01] The highway of grief, I’m at Exit God If I Know.

[9:44] Making comments from our exit sounds terrible to others 

[12:30] I never get to have these memories with Molly again 

[17:36] Taking a step back and stepping into other people’s shoes 

[20:04] Seeing Molly’s friends and thinking of who she would be 

[21:43] Gracie never getting to do things with Molly again

[23:16] Running, my birthday, moving my mom, and the tea that’s piping hot

[27:53] Leave a review as a birthday present to me

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The Molly B Foundation

Tammy went on a journey to find her diagnosis: Primary Hyperparathyroidism. Countless doctors, tests, misdiagnoses, and so many pills it made her head spin. After all the turmoil, she found her diagnosis, got treatment, and is living a great life today running again.

Key Takeaways:

[2:01] Finding out I have high blood pressure again and again 

[3:53] The beginning of taking medication after medication 

[9:48] Low potassium, terrible migraines, and horrid edema

[12:40] Doing a mind/body program for high blood pressure

[18:56] Being diagnosed with colitis and ovarian abscess 

[20:11] Being told I have a tumor on my adrenal gland and little syndrome

[23:36] Getting the tumor removed: my life changed 

[29:11] Writing a book on my experiences 

[32:05] Entering a contest on a whim and winning! 

[35:47] Don’t stop advocating for your health

Resources:

• Misdiagnosed For Miles

• Millenium Running Club 

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The Molly B Foundation

Eleanor joins me again to discuss our new relative: how we found her and the mix of emotions surrounding it. Excited, nervous, and a lot of feelings over the memory of our brother Jeffery. Finding out our deceased brother had a child who will never get to know him is another twist in our lives. 

Key Takeaways:

[4:45] A woman reached out asking if we were related

[7:46] Feeling intimidated, excited, selfish, and seeing my assumptions debunked 

[9:26] Finding Jeffery’s child felt so important because he’s dead 

[10:48] Protecting the memory of Jeffrey and the news

[13:11] Finding out my dad wasn’t my dad was traumatic

[17:11] Niece’s family support and what her life was like growing up 

[18:12] The similarities between us and what we’ll give her as a person

[21:20] Jeffery’s traumatic brain injury

[23:51] Visiting Jeff in Happy Valley

[25:29] It takes a village to welcome someone new 

[28:36] Exploring new things and facing my fears 

Resources:

• Eleanor’s past episode 

• NPE Podcast 

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The Molly B Foundation

Kelsey is the amazing woman who supplied me donor milk when Jack was young. This concept didn’t exist when I was younger and I’m so glad this option does now. It’s a great opportunity to connect with other moms, get advice, and have support to breastfeed and not use formula if that’s what you choose. 

Key Takeaways:

[1:47] Nursing all my kids to older ages and using donor milk 

[11:55] I nurse in public and criticism I’ve received 

[15:11] Using donor milk and great groups that support breastfeeding 

[20:31] Just nursing one child now and the feelings that come with it 

[23:06] My favorite memory nursing and having painful mastitis 

[28:58] Funniest memory nursing and a memory Barb’s track team never forgot 

[32:06] Advocate for yourself and find a IBCLC Consultant 

[33:39] Nurses giving the wrong information on breastfeeding 

Resources:

• Human Milk for Human Babies 

• The New Hampshire Breastfeeding Support Group 

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The Molly B Foundation

As I give out MollyB awards and receive an award of my own, I reflect on what I’m doing in my life, how I’m working towards my goals, what my priorities are, and how I am adjusting to my life which is changing rapidly. 

Key Takeaways:

[1:09] Life still carries on even if Molly is dead 

[3:04] The story of Fanny Minot the person who I received the award in honor of 

[8:36] Matt Bonner: a famous basketball player who also received the award 

[9:43] Adversity in life, finding someone to blame, and looking at yourself 

[11:52] Not fixating on the result as a measure of success

[12:36] You have to work hard all the time, you can’t just wish for it

[13:48] Comparing yourself to others makes no sense 

[15:47] You are as sick as the secrets you keep and self sabotage 

[19:02] I want to go deeper into stories and not shy away from them 

[22:02] Having to adjust to my life changing 

Resources:

• Matt and I’s speeches 

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The Molly B Foundation

Jenn is a mortician who turned her life around. After dropping out of high school and working a low paying job that made caring for her children different she met her wonderful husband and got her GED. But when she got into her forties, she felt like she needed to do something for herself. So what did she do? Go to mortuary school, of course. 

Key Takeaways:

[2:05] Dropping out of high school, but then changing my life in my forties

[6:40] Getting diagnosed with ADHD and how that helped me succeed 

[9:15] How I got into mortuary school and what my classes are like

[14:46] People going to mortuary school because it’s “goth and cool”

[17:23] The job is about compassion and having a lot of people skills 

[20:33] My hardest classes, my internships, and the amazing story of how I got my job 

[24:57] What school didn’t prepare me for and the hardest part of my job 

[28:47] My favorite part is doing body removals because I get to know the person’s life

[34:05] What my schedule looks like and my advice for people wanting to do the job 

[36:18] Going to mortuary school is the best thing I ever did, even when I wanted to quit

[41:08] This job has been life changing to me 

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The Molly B Foundation

I’m tired of people telling me how to feel, how to grieve, when to grieve, and for how long. Many people project their emotions because they’re uncomfortable, but sometimes people just need to sit in grief and not have it minimized. 

Key Takeaways:

[0:44] Stop telling me how to grieve and projecting your emotions 

[2:27] The memory chair 

[11:51] Minimizing grief and the advice people give 

[19:11] Being part of a Heart Warriors group and realizing I do belong 

[20:56] Being understood in my grief and cleaning out the closet

[24:59] Think about what you’re saying to people 

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The Molly B Foundation