A Thousand Tiny Steps

As my mother ages and new challenges arise, my life is becoming increasingly complex and overwhelming as I try to find a way forward that preserves my mother's dignity and my sanity. Part of me feels like there is a reason to charge forward with my work and the other part of me feels like giving up.

Key Takeaways:

[1:31] The Netflix documentary Empty Rooms

[5:58] My mother living with us has been a struggle

[9:54] Not having my own space

[12:24] My mother has this expectation that she just gets things

[16:09] I never thought my adult parent would live with me

[19:24] Looking at what I've tried and what hasn't worked

[23:03] I feel like I should just give up

Resources:

• Empty Rooms

Connect with Barb:

Website

Facebook

Instagram

Be a guest on the podcast

YouTube

The Molly B Foundation

As I am still battling the flu, running my household, spending most of my day sleeping, and binge watching TV shows I've had time to think. It's given me time to think about my mindset, where I live, what I'm doing next, and it's given me time to look over the wonderful guests I've had that continue to inspire me.

Key Takeaways:

[1:23] Binging Stranger Things and realizing the choices in front of me

[5:58] Shows involving time travel and grief

[9:23] Being sick, sleeping a majority of the day, and calling myself a victim

[11:52] Is my environment unhealthy for me? Do I need to change it?

[13:55] My previous guests on the podcast and future ones

[21:10] My podcast episodes that have profoundly impacted me

[24:20] Getting wonderful feedback

Connect with Barb:

Website

Facebook

Instagram

Be a guest on the podcast

YouTube

The Molly B Foundation

I feel directionless in life, I don't know what to choose next, and I need to figure things out. Because in Motherland? I have no other choice. I've been goal setting, problem solving, and trying to learn how to take care of myself in an effort to find a solution. But one thing keeps getting in the way. How do I mother others without someone mothering me?

Key Takeaways:

[1:09] My TV interview and why I chose the title Motherland

[3:08] Waiting for things I know won't happen

[4:48] My mom's losing her independence and I'm left mothering myself

[6:52] My psychic, visit from Molly who told me to get rid of manipulators

[8:08] Being told to take care of myself and not take things personally

[9:39] Being parentified as a child, but wanting to change

[12:27] Making outcome based goals makes me feel like a failure

[13:22] Working on my mobility is a process goal

[16:18] If I stay where I am, how will I change?

[18:02] I've never really taken good care of myself

[19:19] I need to promote my book and figure out my podcast

[22:32] I am at a fork in the road and don't know how to make things happen

[23:59] Enjoy whatever your January will be

Resources:

• My Psychic Medium

• My TV Interview

Connect with Barb:

Website

Facebook

Instagram

Be a guest on the podcast

YouTube

The Molly B Foundation

Gracie and I got together to talk about New Year's resolutions, Wicked, our favorite swear words, and how we've grown. From lessons on not comparing yourself to others to realizing setbacks can actually be an opportunity for growth, listen to us as we come up with the most creative curse words we can think of.

G is for the grumbling that I do.

R is for the resolutions, toodle-oo.

A is very, very asshole-a-ary.

C is cunnnnn-tinuing another year to go.

I is insomnia that gives no rest.

E is existential dread all year…

Key Takeaways:

[1:10] Letter A

[1:58] Letter B

[2:36] Letter C

[4:09] Letter D

[18:02] Letter E

[4:46] Letter F

[5:32] Letter G

[6:23] Letter H

[7:20] Letter I

[8:00] Letter J

[8:38] Letter K

[9:20] Letter L

[10:00] Letter M

[11:21] Letter N

[11:58] Letter O

[12:56] Letter P

[13:45] Letter Q

[14:27] Letter R

[15:14] Letter S

[16:09] Letter T

[17:26] Letter U

[18:34] Letter V

[19:56] Letter W

[21:06] Letter X

[22:02] Letter Y

[22:19] Letter Z

[22:44] Gracie's year has been filled with lots of setbacks and growth

[26:10] Gracie's resolutions for the new year

[26:46] I feel like I'm in the middle of everything

[30:03] You can't compare yourself to everybody else

Connect with Barb:

Website

Facebook

Instagram

Be a guest on the podcast

YouTube

The Molly B Foundation

Grieving during the holidays sucks. I'll never "be over it" as some people like to say. I will grieve again and again for Molly. My grief has changed how we celebrate holidays, but at the same time having Jack is also changing how we celebrate. I don't know what's ahead, but no matter what my message is the same - celebrate the holidays how you want.

Key Takeaways:

[4:40] Not feeling excited about anything anymore

[6:13] The non-profit Compassionate Friends

[11:15] Going through the stages of grief over and over again

[16:45] I'm never letting go of my feelings of Pain over losing Molly

[18:02] Grief takes time

[18:46] I think using things like alcohol or drugs can sometimes be necessary

[20:39] The different ways you can grieve

[21:44] Not celebrating the holidays

[23:18] How my grief has impacted Jack

[24:17] The anticipation of grief is the worst part

[24:48] Acknowledge your pain, take charge of life, and think positively and realistically

[27:42] Be patient and kind with others

[28:45] Strategies to help cope with grief

[30:00] Keeping holiday traditions, changing them, and new ones

[31:23] Siblings always get thought of last in grief

[34:59] Do what you want for the holidays

Resources:

• Compassionate Friends

• Coping with Grief During the Holidays

• Sixth Stage of Grief

• Friends of Aine

• Camp Erin

Connect with Barb:

Website

Facebook

Instagram

Be a guest on the podcast

YouTube

The Molly B Foundation

The current school board is beginning to feel like… Regina Georgia's lunch table. It reminds me of previous years on the board, my relationship with Chris Rath, all the emails on my school account, and so many other mistakes I made. One thing's for sure: I need to learn to notice the change in the weather unless I want to sit with more regrets soon.

Key Takeaways:

[1:34] Wanting to keep things the same and not noticing a change in the weather

[3:07] Not becoming president of the school board

[5:54] The board is twisting my realities into something it's not

[10:08] Most of the board members have the same demographics

[11:36] My separation agreement that wasn't so confidential

[14:01] Filing a lawsuit against Chris Rath

[16:35] Putting sensitive information on my school emails

[21:49] Requesting time to go to the divorce hearing and being denied

[24:42] Speaking out against the demolition of Kimball School

[26:20] Fired for testifying at hearings and "giving athletes passing grades"

[28:36] Looking back on all my mistakes

[31:49] Being setup to fail

[33:39] I need to learn to pay attention to subtle cues

Connect with Barb:

Website

Facebook

Instagram

Be a guest on the podcast

YouTube

The Molly B Foundation

If a clone of me was suddenly created and I interviewed myself here's what I'd say. Because trust me, I did not want to do another episode where I talk about the sadness of grieving during the holidays. So instead, enjoy as I talk about everything from what I'd tell myself at 18 to the name of my book - if my enemy wrote it.

Key Takeaways:

[4:23] What people misunderstand about me most

[5:30] My biggest failure and what I learned

[7:17] What I want to be remembered for

[7:53] My favorite holiday movie

[9:29] The advice I'd give to my 18 year old self

[10:26] The three most influential people in my life

[12:15] What health and wellness mean to me

[14:26] My self care routine

[15:42] How I stay on track with my diet

[16:59] My favorite way to stay active

[17:43] The turning point to take my health more seriously

[18:07] A wellness hack for everyone

[18:56] How my perspective on mental health has changed

[19:43] My inspiration to stay healthy, what I love, and my best choices

[20:48] My favorite social media platform

[21:25] My favorite sports

[22:19] When I got interested in sports

[22:50] My greatest accomplishments in sports

[23:35] My favorite sporting icons

[24:18] Which player in history I would speak to

[24:47] Sports education is important

[25:56] Where I would live if I could

[26:31] What historical figure I would get coffee with

[27:04] My favorite subject in school

[27:22] My astrological sign

[27:36] What I would do with $10,000,000

[27:53] What I would write a book about

[28:08] The one meal I'd eat for the rest of my life

[28:28] Name of my book if my enemy wrote it

[29:20] My favorite color

[29:57] Do you like this episode?

Resources:

• Family Secrets Podcast

• Karen Kenney Podcast

• Secrets of the Blue Zones

Connect with Barb:

Website

Facebook

Instagram

Be a guest on the podcast

YouTube

The Molly B Foundation

After my job loss, I was invited to do an interview which became the most popular one on our local radio show. A few days ago was the 40th year anniversary of a school shooting in Concord and I talked to one of the students who went through it. In this episode, I go on a trip down memory lane.

Key Takeaways:

[1:25] I don't feel like I've made a lot of progress

[2:12] 40 years ago there was a school shooting in Concord

[5:40] The overwhelming grief of the mother

[6:34] I talked to one of the students that went through it

[8:02] Why is my anger getting in the way?

[13:37] My interview on my job loss

[18:41] I'm angry, frustrated, and lonely

Resources:

• 1985 School Shooting

• Interview with Paul Part 1

• Interview with Paul Part 2

Connect with Barb:

Website

Facebook

Instagram

Be a guest on the podcast

YouTube

The Molly B Foundation

This week, I'm throwing away toxic gratitude and playing Would You Rather because we all need some fun in our lives. I contemplate knowing when vs knowing how I would die, someone seeing all of my photos or all of my texts, and so many other ponderings.

Key Takeaways:

[0:28] Throwing away toxic gratitude and playing would you rather

[3:17] See a little into the future or a lot?

[3:53] The ability to read minds or move things?

[4:25] Sing or dance to every song you hear?

[4:45] Jail or coma for 5 years?

[5:15] Chronically under or overdressed?

[5:35] Lose my sight or my memories?

[5:55] Universal respect or unlimited power?

[6:29] No internet or no air conditioning?

[7:09] Never be able to go out in the day or night?

[7:30] Personal maid or chef?

[7:46] Lead star in a movie that bombs or extra in an Oscar winning one?

[8:34] Only text in emoji or not text at all?

[8:47] Same socks or same underwear for a week?

[9:04] Sing off with Ariana Grande or Rihanna?

[9:25] Alone in a forest or a real haunted house?

[9:52] Child every year for 20 years or no kids at all?

[10:24] Gassy on a first date or your wedding night?

[10:46] Hunt for your own meat or never eat meat again?

[11:05] People spread lies about you or terrible truths?

[11:58] Best at something no one respects or average at something they do?

[12:42] Travel the world for free for a year or have $50,000?

[13:27] Mullet for a year or bald for 6 months?

[13:51] Go back to the past to see dead people or the future to meet grandkids?

[14:05] Stay physically how you are forever or financially?

[14:32] No phone for a month or no bathing for a month?

[14:52] Change the outcome of the last election or decide the next election?

[15:27] Lose the ability to read or lose the ability to speak?

[15:58] Beautiful and stupid or unattractive and smart?

[16:25] Always stuck in traffic but find the perfect parking spot or the opposite?

[16:57] Go on tour with Elton John or Cher?

[17:20] Win the lottery and spend it in a day or triple your current salary forever?

[17:52] Hear a comforting lie or an uncomfortable truth?

[18:03] Someone sees all your photos or all your texts?

[18:21] 4th of July with Taylor Swift or Christmas Eve with Mariah Carey?

[19:13] Peaceful life in a small cabin or drama filled in a mansion?

[19:35] Be invisible or fly?

[19:50] Be the leader on Earth or start another colony on another planet?

[20:11] Back to kindergarten with all my knowledge or know everything now?

[22:04] Read minds or predict the future?

[22:13] Be an unknown superhero or famous villain?

[22:48] Have a third eye or a third ear?

[23:13] Wake up naked in a forest 5 miles from home or in your underwear at work?

[23:52] Be reincarnated as a fly or just stop existing when dead?

[24:11] Close any open door or be unable to open any closed door?

[24:32] Work alongside Dwight or Homer?

[24:55] Punished for a crime you didn't commit or credit stolen for a major accomplishment of yours?

[25:20] Celine or Eminem perform the soundtrack to your life?

[25:38] Bathe in dish water or wash dishes in bath water?

[25:50] Have your own theme park or zoo?

[26:05] Know when or how you're going to die?

[26:21] Home with no electricity or home with no running water?

[26:43] Tea with Queen Elizabeth or beer with Prince Harry?

[27:08] Live the same day over for a year or take 3 years off your life?

[27:39] Finding balance, gratitude, and what would you rather?

Connect with Barb:

Website

Facebook

Instagram

Be a guest on the podcast

YouTube

The Molly B Foundation

Emerging and changing my ways one tiny step at a time is not easy. Between school board, my living situation, my neighbor dying and my desire to keep things the same, but also change can feel like climbing an uphill battle.

Key Takeaways:

[0:28] We're supposed to be grateful in November, but I don't want to be

[2:35] What emergence means in my life

[7:37] Feeling ignored and not liked on school board

[11:24] My desire to change, but keep things the same

[18:15] Having no time alone at home, but having to share

[21:42] Thinking about what needs to happen for things to change

[24:28] My neighbor Brian died

Connect with Barb:

Website

Facebook

Instagram

Be a guest on the podcast

YouTube

The Molly B Foundation