Becoming a parent can bring intense anxiety and high levels of worry about doing the right thing for your child. Some people have feelings of failure in meeting some high level of expectation that they have of themselves. I always wonder in therapy what has contributed to a person’s suffering in this way, and, as a therapist, I want to dig deeper into why this style of hyper-independence and hyperfunctioning at all costs is activated when some people become parents. Let’s dig deeper in today’s Behind-the-Sessions episode.
Show Highlights:

How hyper-independence can show up because of childhood events in which someone experiences emotional neglect

How being independent, not burdening anyone by asking for help, and relying only on oneself can be magnified in the postpartum

Why the pressure to be perfect can lead to high anxiety and even depression in the presence of impossibly high standards

Why asking for help and admitting that you aren’t perfect can alleviate the stress, overwhelm, and constant energy drain that a hyper-independent parent might feel

How a perinatal mental health professional can help someone manage these dynamics

Dr. Kat’s advice for hyperfunctioning parents: “Have compassionate support for yourself, try to be flexible in understanding that it’s okay to ask for help, and prioritize your sleep, rest, and self-care.”

Resources:
Visit www.postpartum.net for resources and support! 
Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.  
Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!
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317: Behind The Sessions: Hyper-Independence Can Make You Anxious

Posptartum Depression is real. And it's only part of the story. We dig in to ALL of the stuff that no one tells you about, but you NEED to know. Dr. Kat, Psychologist and specialist in perinatal mental health, interviews moms, dads, experts and advocates about how to cope, manage and recover from perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. We talk about postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety and SO MUCH MORE! We get real. We get honest. We put on our stigma crushing boots and address the realities of the transition to motherhood and parenthood. Learn about it before you find out about it the hard way! You don't have to suffer! www.momandmind.com

Kids & Family

Parenting

Health & Fitness

Mental Health

It’s no secret that a new baby brings many nuances to a couple’s relationship and family life. The couple relationship dynamics shift and change as new responsibilities have to be prioritized. Planning ahead with open communication can make things easier in every way. Let’s take a closer look in today’s behind-the-sessions episode.
Show Highlights:

The first few weeks with a new baby: patterns, plans, and problems

Sleep issues complicate everything!

The communication challenges around different parenting styles, cultural differences, and incorrect assumptions

Understanding how resentment builds and creates a rift in the relationship

The value of setting aside time for regular daily or weekly check-ins to stay connected

The importance of asking for help and giving each other space

Planning ahead is the key!

Resources:
Visit www.postpartum.net for resources and support! 
Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.  
Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!
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335: Behind The Sessions: Communication Challenges After Baby Comes Home with Dr. Kat

Through the sharing of our stories, we educate ourselves and others about perinatal mental health challenges, and we normalize the fact that we should not feel shame for needing professional help and support. For so many people, shame over what they are experiencing keeps them from admitting the truth of their struggles and reaching out for help and support. We want to change that scenario! Join us for a candid conversation with today’s guest. 
Dr. Ellen Chance is a counselor educator and the founder of Whole Counseling and Wellness, a mental health private practice based in Florida. Her practice specializes in women’s and maternal mental health and support through all stages of motherhood, from trying to conceive to beyond the empty nest. Dr. Chance has advanced training in perinatal mental health and is passionate about empowering women and mothers to prioritize their whole wellness, and she works from the belief that all individuals deserve to feel whole: complete, fulfilled, grounded, and connected. Her motivation to serve the perinatal population came from her lived experience with postpartum anxiety and OCD and the shame that kept her from getting the help she needed and deserved. 
Show Highlights:

Shame drives and perpetuates the symptoms of anxiety and OCD.

Ellen’s story of fear and worry dominating her emotions during pregnancy–and dealing with breastfeeding struggles with her newborn

Ellen’s experience with concealing how she felt and where her thoughts were going

OCD, for Ellen, manifested itself through excessive worry and prevention of every bad thing that could possibly happen to her child—and the shame she felt as a trained mental health professional who could not admit that she needed help

Ellen’s fears of opening up, being judged for her compulsive behavior, and burdening someone else with her mental health struggle

Is it still intrusive thoughts if they aren’t about harming myself or my baby?

Steps that helped Ellen “clear the fog” and start to be herself again

Being open, transparent, and vulnerable about postpartum OCD didn’t happen until Ellen volunteered with PSI and started leading support groups.

Things that were helpful to Ellen on her healing journey

Resources:
Connect with Dr. Ellen Chance and Whole Counseling and Wellness: Website, Instagram (Ellen), Instagram (counseling practice), and Facebook
Visit www.postpartum.net for resources and support! 
Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.  
Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

334: A Therapist’s Postpartum OCD and How Shame Prevents Seeking Help  with Ellen Chance, Ph.D.

It is more common than you might think to experience both anger and rage in the transition to parenthood, and those emotions happen for a variety of reasons and are caused by a multitude of factors. In today’s episode, we are covering all aspects of rage: why it happens, how it happens, what contributes to it, and what to do about it. Join us to learn more!
Bianca Sprague, founder of Bebo Mia, has been a dedicated educator, author, activist, and doula since 2007. Passionate about accessible prenatal and postnatal care for marginalized communities, she advocates for mental wellness in families, drawing from her struggle with postpartum depression and family-life experiences. Bianca champions reproductive health and justice, focusing on breaking barriers for female and queer entrepreneurs and restoring joy, equity, and safety in family care through her expertise and innovative approaches. In this episode, we discuss the complex emotions that arise during the transition to parenthood, particularly for those who are under-resourced or experience domestic violence. Bianca explains how societal expectations and gender roles can lead to suppressed anger and rage for many, along with the importance of expressing anger and rage in healthy and productive ways.  

Show Highlights:

Bianca’s story of rage being the “fuel” for her work over the past 20 years

Common issues in new parenthood are anger, frustration, and carrying a heavy emotional load.

Bianca’s birth and doula work–and how she saw anger in other families

The sources of much rage are a lack of equity at home and the lack of autonomy in the reproductive health journey.

Societal pressures to only express “good” emotions

Big expressions of anger come from a buildup of ignored emotions.

Truth Telling is key!

The unhealthy results of suppressing our intuition and emotions

Unlearning societal conditioning and finding inner peace

Ways to address anger and rage as a result of systemic oppression

Using anger and rage to drive activism and create change

The importance of acknowledging and processing anger in healthy ways

Check out the special resource package available exclusively for Mom & Mind listeners in the Bebo Mia community!


﻿Resources:
Connect with Bianca Sprague and Bebo Mia: Website, Exclusive resource link for M & M Listeners, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, and YouTube
Visit www.postpartum.net for resources and support! 
Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.  
Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

333: Understanding Why You Feel Rage with Bianca Sprague

In today’s Behind the Sessions episode, we focus on the pain and grief that people experience in the infertility and loss journey while trying to become a parent or add another child to their family. While it’s impossible to cover every aspect of this topic in one episode, I want to take a closer look and assure anyone in this situation that they are not alone. Join me for more!
Show Highlights:

Grief can take many forms, including anger, resentment, and jealousy.

The emotional toll (from hormones, the waiting process, etc.) of infertility treatments

The layers of complications that come with various reproductive technologies

Feeling “partner pressure” is a very real thing, even if it’s self-imposed. 

The importance of setting and keeping boundaries with other people

The person struggling with infertility needs compassion, support, and a listening ear.

A good therapist and support network can help!

Resources:
Visit www.postpartum.net for resources and support! 
Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.  
Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

332: Behind The Sessions: Emotional Impacts of Infertility and Treatments

Many people don’t realize that a neurodivergent diagnosis in childhood can be a risk factor for perinatal mental health issues later in life. Join us for today’s conversation with Tiffany!
Tiffany Engen is a full-time mom of two young children, a survivor of multiple PMADs, a strong advocate for maternal mental health, a full-spectrum doula, a birth photographer, and a certified perinatal educator (PMH-C). Born and raised in California and currently residing in Arizona, Tiffany volunteers as a support coordinator and peer mentor with Postpartum Support International. She shares the difficulties around her childhood diagnosis, the incredibly negative impact of losing a parent during her first pregnancy, and her battle to overcome debilitating intrusive thoughts during her second pregnancy. Looking back on her journey, Tiffany recognizes how she was operating with insufficient support and community that could have made a difference for her.  
Show Highlights:

Tiffany’s story of childhood neurodivergence, intense medications, and ensuing panic attacks

Her struggle to get off medications during her pregnancy and postpartum without the proper tools and coping skills

Freedom comes when you fully embrace who you are and acknowledge the differences.

Tiffany’s son’s neurodivergence, the loss of her father, and the difficult relationship with her mother

Adjusting to intense feelings—without medications to lean on

Tiffany’s second pregnancy—and the light switch moment that brought the first intrusive thought

Grasping at straws, seeing a shaman, trying to cope with OCD, and having only her brother and a best friend for support

The difficulties because of insomnia and paranoia

Finding normalization through the support of a Facebook friend

Internal suffering while covering it up externally

The dilemma in trying to find a doctor who would do more than simply prescribe medications

Tiffany’s path to become the helper and support that she needed 

Resources:
Connect with Tiffany Engen: Website and Instagram
Visit www.postpartum.net for resources and support! 
Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.  
Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

317: Behind The Sessions: Hyper-Independence Can Make You Anxious

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