Today’s episode explores a crucial topic that warrants our attention. We are discussing the after-effects of postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, and perinatal mental health conditions. The lingering sense of guilt, sadness, regret, grief, anger, and frustration comes as a result of feeling that you weren’t present during the postpartum time. How much time does it take to “make up” for that time that you felt disconnected and anything but joyful about motherhood? Do you feel that you missed important milestones in your baby’s life? All of these are important questions that many mothers wrestle with in a constant mental battle. Let’s take a closer look.

Show Highlights:

Where does the unreasonable pressure come from?

Are you punishing yourself?

The truth: You WERE there in all the ways you could manage at the time.

You do acts of love and caring, even if you don’t feel like doing them.

What you need now is what you needed then: compassion, support, and loving thoughts.

Self-compassion brings gentleness into the picture.

Healing needs to happen (and that means allowing yourself to grieve).

Dr. Kat leads a healing exercise to try on your own. (Try it!)

Your healing is valid and worthwhile, even if you can’t see it yourself.

Resources:

Call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA or visit cdph.ca.gov

Please find resources in English and Spanish at Postpartum Support International, or by phone/text at 1-800-944-4773. There are many free resources, like online support groups, peer mentors, a specialist provider directory, and perinatal mental health training for therapists, physicians, nurses, doulas, and anyone who wants to be more supportive in offering services. 

You can also follow PSI on social media: Instagram, Facebook, and most other platforms.

Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.  

Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!

If you are a California resident looking for a therapist in perinatal mental health, email me about openings for private pay clients!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We are hearing Alyssa’s story in today’s episode. She shares her experience with postpartum anxiety, depression, and OCD, as well as her lifelong battle for mental health. We’ve discussed many times on the podcast that a history of mental health issues is a significant risk factor for perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. Because Alyssa did not get the help she needed when she needed it most, she has become a passionate advocate and supporter of other moms and families facing these issues. 

Alyssa Verge is a 31-year-old mom of a two-year-old and the stepmom of an eight-year-old. After her child was born, she was diagnosed with postpartum depression and anxiety and eventually with postpartum OCD. She’s passionate about mental health and healing generational trauma. 

Show Highlights:

The birth story of Alyssa’s son, when she felt the “baby blues” immediately after his birth

Being told everything she was feeling was “normal,” even though she was sincere and open about her experience

Alyssa’s husband finally found a therapist for her because he knew this couldn’t be normal.

Alyssa’s relief when she found out her feelings weren’t normal, and she was diagnosed with postpartum depression and anxiety

The prevalence of OCD, which wasn’t identified for several months

Unnatural fears about leaving the house and getting sick

OCD was manifested in her body’s refusal to take medication, even though it was what she wanted to do to get better.

Therapy tools that didn’t help for Alyssa: exposure therapy, scripts, positive brain talk

Feeling guilty for being a burden and not being able to get better

Finding balance in looking for support, with boundaries

Alyssa’s advice to others about accepting “normal,” having patience, and finding help

Resources:

Connect with Alyssa Verge: Instagram

Call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA or visit cdph.ca.gov

Please find resources in English and Spanish at Postpartum Support International, or by phone/text at 1-800-944-4773. There are many free resources, like online support groups, peer mentors, a specialist provider directory, and perinatal mental health training for therapists, physicians, nurses, doulas, and anyone who wants to be more supportive in offering services. 

You can also follow PSI on social media: Instagram, Facebook, and most other platforms

Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.  

Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!

If you are a California resident seeking a therapist in perinatal mental health, please email me about openings for private pay clients.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s topic is all things matrescence as we look at the book, Mothershift: Reclaiming Motherhood as a Rite of Passage. We will discuss the process of matrescence and the developmental steps that many people do not understand. Join us to learn more!

Jessie Harrold is a coach and doula who has been supporting women through radical life transformations and other rites of passage for over 15 years. She works one-on-one with women and mothers to facilitate mentorship programs, women’s circles, rituals, retreats, and nature-based experiences. Jessie is the author of Mothershift: Reclaiming Motherhood as a Rite of Passage and Project Body Love: my quest to love my body and the surprising truth I found instead. She also hosts The Becoming Podcast. Jessie lives on the east coast of Canada, where she raises her two children, writes, and tends the land.

Show Highlights:

What is matrescence?

Comparisons between matrescence and adolescence (both transitions are processes that take time)

Jessie’s model of matrescence: The Four Elements of Radical Transformation:

Earth – Orient yourself to what’s true, and name the change.

Water – (Think tears.) Grief over the self you were before this transformation is a normal part of transitioning to motherhood.

Air – The liminal space of the “in-between” when you haven’t fully integrated into the identity of being a mother.

Fire – An igniting of the ember within you as you integrate into the identity of motherhood.

This motherhood transition is an opportunity to let go of other things that aren’t serving us well.

Systemic factors that force women into “losing themselves in motherhood”

The challenges we face in motherhood are part of the development into matrescence, but we still need the tools and resources to navigate them.

“The Mother Powers”- the things that help us get through matrescence

Matrescence is a beautiful process.

A glimpse into Jessie’s next book project 

Resources:

Connect with Jessie Harrold: Website, Instagram, Email, Mothershift: Reclaiming Motherhood as a Rite of Passage, Project Body Love: my quest to love my body and the surprising truth I found instead, and The Becoming Podcast. 

Call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA or visit cdph.ca.gov

Please find resources in English and Spanish at Postpartum Support International, or by phone/text at 1-800-944-4773. There are many free resources, like online support groups, peer mentors, a specialist provider directory, and perinatal mental health training for therapists, physicians, nurses, doulas, and anyone who wants to be more supportive in offering services. 

You can also follow PSI on social media: Instagram, Facebook, and most other platforms

Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.  

Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!

If you are a California resident looking for a therapist in perinatal mental health, email me about openings for private pay clients.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The end of the school year and the transition to summer bring different types of mental load for parents. There is a shift in schedule, priorities, and what you’re thinking about each day, and there can be more to manage, especially for the default parent who usually takes care of everything. It’s a different type of stress, but it is stress nonetheless. There can be a wide variance in the load you carry, depending on your partner and other supports you have in place. We must acknowledge that the mental load is an invisible load yet a significant burden; it’s a labor of thinking, remembering, organizing, and planning that keeps the family and household running smoothly. It can all be overwhelming! Join me in today’s episode for a closer look.

Show Highlights:

The constant hum in your mind of all that needs to be done

The potential for contention between parents in remembering ALL the details (along with anxiety, depression, and disconnection)

Remember that two things can be true at the same time!

Partnership is essential in co-parenting and co-managing the household.

Examples of how a partner can step in to help in meaningful ways: taking over specific tasks, being emotionally present, and having a weekly time for an honest check-in with each other

Advice to moms and dads for communicating and validating each other

Setting boundaries, saying NO, letting go of some tasks, and asking for help

The importance of finding community, connection, and support groups

Key takeaways from Dr. Kat: “Acknowledge your feelings, state them aloud, and share them. Only then can you start to change.”

Resources:

Call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA or visit cdph.ca.gov

Please find resources in English and Spanish at Postpartum Support International, or by phone/text at 1-800-944-4773. There are many free resources, like online support groups, peer mentors, a specialist provider directory, and perinatal mental health training for therapists, physicians, nurses, doulas, and anyone who wants to be more supportive in offering services. 

You can also follow PSI on social media: Instagram, Facebook, and most other platforms

Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.  

Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!

If you are a California resident looking for a therapist in perinatal mental health, email me about openings for private pay clients!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Have you felt the pressure to be a “supermom”? We are examining the supermom fallacy, which often accompanies thoughts like, “I’m a failure, I can’t keep up with this, and I’m a bad mom.” The problem with trying to be a supermom is the impact on mental health. This theme commonly comes up in therapy, and the idea that we have to do everything and do it well is too much pressure! Join us as we explore this topic, which will resonate with many people.

Stacy McCann is a licensed mental health therapist and the owner of Present Moment Counseling Services, specializing in motherhood, postpartum, and beyond. She works with mothers to help them cope with the challenges of motherhood, including burnout, overwhelm, overstimulation, self-advocacy, and an equitable mental and physical load at home. Stacy launched the Supermom Dropout Club, a virtual community for moms who want to take up space, use their voice, and leave their supermom capes behind. She is the mom of a sweet and spicy 5-year-old and lives in the St. Louis area, where she enjoys gardening, cooking, and traveling. 

Show Highlights:

Stacy’s path through social work, parent education, and her motherhood specialty today

Common characteristics of maternal burnout: overwhelm, loss of identity, feeling invisible, and giving everything they have to others

Trying to live up to the “ideal motherhood experience” is impossible!

Solutions for moms: Prioritize your own needs and use the right words to talk about it

Dealing with the workload at home from a logistics standpoint (How to handle this task with your partner through open communication about standards of care)

We still need a shift to support working parents and postpartum mothers.

Thoughts on men’s roles in the home, offering emotional support, and bonding more with their babies in the postpartum period 

The need for help in shifting societal expectations about what makes a good dad: What does it mean to lead and support your family?

The influence of social media on parenting 

Stacy’s virtual community, The Supermom Dropout Club, and the support it offers

Resources:

Connect with Stacy McCann: Website and Instagram

Call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA or visit cdph.ca.gov

Please find resources in English and Spanish at Postpartum Support International, or by phone/text at 1-800-944-4773. There are many free resources, like online support groups, peer mentors, a specialist provider directory, and perinatal mental health training for therapists, physicians, nurses, doulas, and anyone who wants to be more supportive in offering services. 

You can also follow PSI on social media: Instagram, Facebook, and most other platforms

Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.  

Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!

If you are a California resident looking for a therapist in perinatal mental health, email me about openings for private pay clients!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest shares her story of postpartum psychosis, including the contributing factors, navigating the healthcare system, the overall lack of understanding of PMADs, and the preventative actions she took for her second pregnancy. She shares how her experience propelled her to take considerable steps to help and support others.

Nancy Di Nuzzo, a mother of two, is an accountant-turned-postpartum doula. She is the founder of Anamav Postnatal Care, an agency providing comprehensive postpartum care in the Greater Toronto area. Their services include doula support, lactation support, psychotherapy, and sleep coaching. Nancy was inspired to create Anamav after her own traumatic postpartum experiences. As a perinatal mental health advocate, she is fiercely determined to support new parents and families to help fill the gaps in our healthcare system. 

Show Highlights:

Nancy’s first pregnancy experience with her daughter, born in 2020: In summary, sleep deprivation led to the first postpartum psychotic episode and subsequent hospitalization.

The labor and delivery and the first five days postpartum, when everything changed for Nancy

Feeling the intensity of hyperdrive and an overwhelming need for perfection

Hallucinations (not threatening or violent) and a break from reality that prompted a call to 911

A shocking twist: The ER records showed suspected postpartum psychosis, but they still discharged Nancy and prescribed sleeping pills; she ended up back there three days later.

Cultural stigma and family interference that did not help Nancy

Nancy’s misdiagnosis from the psychiatrist: A bipolar disorder that required lifelong medication

The first night in the hospital and the traumatic events that still haunt Nancy’s memories

Reconnecting with her daughter after a week-long stay in the hospital

Preparing for a second pregnancy with preventative measures–and finding a very different birth and postpartum experience in 2023

Nancy’s perspective on what SHOULD have happened during her first pregnancy and how we can do better in the area of awareness

The facts: Every postpartum journey is different; problems can happen with a first, second, or third pregnancy—or with none at all. 

Anamav Postnatal and how they work to help others

Resources:

Connect with Nancy Di Nuzzo and Anamav Postnatal: Website and Instagram

Call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA or visit cdph.ca.gov

Please find resources in English and Spanish at Postpartum Support International, or by phone or text at 1-800-944-4773. There are many free resources available, including online support groups, peer mentors, a specialist provider directory, and perinatal mental health training for therapists, physicians, nurses, doulas, and anyone who wants to become more supportive in offering services. 

You can also follow PSI on social media: Instagram, Facebook, and most other platforms

Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.  

Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!

If you are a California resident looking for a therapist in perinatal mental health, email me about openings for private pay clients!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s episode focuses on a recent article in JAMA Internal Medicine regarding maternal mental health in the United States. I’ll explain and summarize the study and results, and discuss the most appropriate next steps. Since I’m presenting the information in summary form, please read the article for yourself by clicking the link in the Resources section for this episode. 

Show Highlights:

The findings of this study are sobering and validating.

Scope and value of research findings like this to “fill the gap” in maternal mental health

The details of the study subjects: 198,000+ US mothers from 2016-2023 who self-reported their physical and mental health

The key findings: The percentage of mothers reporting a rating of “excellent” mental health dropped dramatically during the time frame, the percentage reporting “fair” or “poor” mental health increased, and the trend of declining maternal mental health crosses through all socio-economic groups.

The key factors contributing to maternal mental health conditions

 Results of the study show that we need more investment into the underlying causes of mental health decline, especially for lower socio-economic status moms.

Moms are suffering under the weight of silence, stigma, shame, and societal expectations.

Studies like this one are vital to break down barriers to care and support.

Learning to identify your needs, choose rest when needed, and prioritize self-compassion

What we can do to help: offer screenings at multiple points, effect policy change, and find positive ways to support the entire family system.

Resources:

Read the JAMA article, “Trends and Disparities in Maternal Self-Reported Mental and Physical Health.” Click here.

Call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA or visit cdph.ca.gov

Please find resources in English and Spanish at Postpartum Support International, or by phone/text at 1-800-944-4773. There are many free resources available, including online support groups, peer mentors, a specialist provider directory, and perinatal mental health training for therapists, physicians, nurses, doulas, and anyone who wants to become more supportive in offering services. 

You can also follow PSI on social media: Instagram, Facebook, and most other platforms

Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.  

Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!

If you are a California resident looking for a therapist in perinatal mental health, email me about openings for private pay clients!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this important episode, we explore mom shame, the difference between guilt and shame, and common triggers for guilt. One of the biggest contributors to mom shame is societal pressure, so we want to shed light on navigating this issue and breaking the cycle of shame. My expert guest for this topic is Allie Barker, LCSW. Allie is excited to bring her insight to today’s conversation about dismantling the overwhelming experience of mom shame. Join us to learn more!

Allie Barker is a licensed clinical social worker specializing in perinatal mental health. She has been in private practice since 2020 and has been clinically practicing since 2018. After experiencing a difficult pregnancy during the pandemic and navigating postpartum anxiety, depression, and OCD, she realized how common, yet isolating, these struggles are. This led her to shift her entire clinical focus to supporting individuals through fertility challenges, pregnancy, and postpartum transitions. As a therapist, Allie is passionate about helping parents navigate the mental and emotional challenges that come with new parenthood, from facing unrealistic societal expectations to combating the deep-rooted shame that prevents someone from finding joy in the small moments. She brings professional expertise and personal understanding to these conversations, creating a compassionate and judgment-free space for parents. Outside of work, Allie is a mom with a four-year-old daughter, a wife, and an animal mom to several dogs, ducks, and pigs. 

Show Highlights:

Understanding mom shame and the myth of mom guilt

The effects of societal expectations on moms around everyday occurrences in parenthood

Support for parents begins with awareness, identifying your values, and setting realistic goals

The best way to dismantle mom shame is to have relevant conversations with your partner during pregnancy.

It’s okay when your values don’t match up with those of books, experts, and social media.

The impacts on your mental health when you feel like a failure all the time

Guard against lofty motherhood goals that set you up for failure!

Every mom feels like “the only one,” and shame breeds isolation.

Scary thoughts, fears, and OCD (Name it and say it out loud to safe, supportive people!)

Allie’s work to support parents with compassion and self-compassion

A parent who admits mistakes and apologizes gives their child space to make mistakes and apologize for them. (It’s an opportunity to teach compassion.)

Being vulnerable and listening to vulnerability can help break the cycle.

Resources:

Connect with Allie Barker:⁠ Website⁠

Call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA or visit⁠ cdph.ca.gov⁠

Please find resources in English and Spanish at⁠ Postpartum Support International⁠, or by phone/text at 1-800-944-4773. There are many free resources, like online support groups, peer mentors, a specialist provider directory, and perinatal mental health training for therapists, physicians, nurses, doulas, and anyone who wants to be more supportive in offering services. 

You can also follow PSI on social media:⁠ Instagram⁠,⁠ Facebook⁠, and most other platforms.

Visit⁠ www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/⁠ for information on the grief course.  

Visit my website,⁠ www.wellmindperinatal.com⁠, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!

If you are a California resident seeking a therapist in perinatal mental health, please email me about openings for private pay clients.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As we arrive at Episode 423, we’re celebrating 9 years of the Mom & Mind Podcast! I never imagined this possibility, but I’m so honored to share these profound stories and feature these helpful experts. I’m thankful to the real rockstars, every single listener. We continue to address every aspect of perinatal mental health, raising awareness and spreading a message of hope. Each person’s journey of vulnerability, difficulty, and healing is important, and we hope that the insights and resources we share can help others. I’m excited to bring you another episode with Dr. Shoshana Bennett, the very first expert guest to appear on the podcast way back in 2016. 

After two life-threatening bouts of postpartum illness, Dr. Shoshana Bennett helped pioneer the field of maternal mental health in the US. She founded Postpartum Assistance for Mothers in 1987, became president of California’s Postpartum Health Alliance, and served as president of Postpartum Support International. Dr. Shosh is the author of Children of the Depressed, Postpartum Depression for Dummies, and Pregnant on Prozac. She co-authored Beyond the Blues: A Guide to Understanding and Treating Prenatal and Postpartum Depression. She created the first app for postpartum depression and is an executive producer of the documentary, Dark Side of the Full Moon. Dr. Shosh co-founded the Postpartum Action Institute, which is committed to promoting parental health. To date, she has helped over 20,000 new parents around the world through private consultations, teleclasses, conferences, webinars, and support groups. 

Show Highlights:

Intimacy is SO much more than “just sex.”

Examples of intimacy and connection

Barriers to intimacy include assumptions, lack of communication, taking each other for granted, and not showing love in various ways.

A lack of appreciation leads to a battle over who’s working harder and resentment.

Dr. Shosh’s advice to couples to “get more of what you need.”

The importance of being respectful instead of snappy, critical, and nasty (“YOU are responsible for what comes out of your mouth, whether you are sleep-deprived or not.”)

Dates are important and should not be “back-burnered.” (Hear Dr. Shosh’s rules for dating when there is a new baby at home!)

Anticipation of the next date is important!

Get creative with physical intimacy!

The key to intimacy is to approach a partner without complaining; we have to re-educate ourselves.

Be intentional in your relationship.

“Humor is golden and can help in difficult times.” (Laughing together adds to intimacy!)

Resources:

Connect with Dr. Shoshana Bennett: 

Website

Dr. Shosh’s past Mom & Mind episodes: 2, 3, and 154

Books and the documentary: Children of the Depressed, Postpartum Depression for Dummies, Pregnant on Prozac, Beyond the Blues: A Guide to Understanding and Treating Prenatal and Postpartum Depression, and Dark Side of the Full Moon.

Call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA or visit cdph.ca.gov

Please find resources in English and Spanish at Postpartum Support International, or by phone/text at 1-800-944-4773. There are many free resources available, including online support groups, peer mentors, a specialist provider directory, and perinatal mental health training for therapists, physicians, nurses, doulas, and anyone who wants to become more supportive in offering services. 

You can also follow PSI on social media: Instagram, Facebook, and most other platforms

Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.  

Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!

If you are a California resident looking for a therapist in perinatal mental health, email me about openings for private pay clients!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The focus of perinatal mental health is often on mothers, but we can’t discount the importance of fathers’ mental health on children, families, and relationships. Dads everywhere are struggling, and they often do so in silence. We need to raise awareness of this aspect of mental health! The Monday after Father’s Day is International Fathers’ Mental Health Day, so I’m discussing this topic and sharing helpful information in today’s episode.

Show Highlights:

The messaging to boys and men from society

My approach with clients and their partners is to try to reach more fathers.

A compassionate approach promotes healing.

M&M episodes focused on fathers and their mental health:

345: A New Father’s Experience Through His Wife’s Postpartum Psychosis with Tony Pacitti

286: Foundations in Paternal Perinatal Mental Health with Dr. Daniel Singley

274: Healing from Paternal Postpartum Depression with Kevin Seldon

273: The Emotional Wellness of Fathers with Adam Angel, LCSW 

242: The Value of Fathers and The Black Voice in Parenthood with Reginald Day

195: Paternal Postpartum Depression with David Levine 

181: Fathers and Perinatal Mental Health with Dr. Sheehan Fisher 

177: The Loss of a Wife and Mother to PPD with Steven D’Achille 

 23: “He’s Not Talking About It,” A Father’s Journey with Mark Williams

Frightening statistics about fathers’ mental health

Stigma prevents men from reporting symptoms and seeking help.

Risk factors for dads are similar to those of moms. (Dads are up to 50% more likely to experience perinatal mental health issues if their partner experiences them.)

Dads can feel excluded from caregiving and disconnected from mom and baby.

Dads should be screened just like moms!

We can do better to meet the needs of fathers!

Partners should check in with each other and check on each other’s mental health.

Resources:

Call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA or visit cdph.ca.gov

Please find resources in English and Spanish at Postpartum Support International, or by phone/text at 1-800-944-4773. There are many free resources, like online support groups, peer mentors, a specialist provider directory, and perinatal mental health training for therapists, physicians, nurses, doulas, and anyone who wants to be more supportive in offering services. 

You can also follow PSI on social media: Instagram, Facebook, and most other platforms

Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.  

Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!

If you are a California resident looking for a therapist in perinatal mental health, ⁠email me⁠ about openings for private pay clients!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices