Therapist Uncensored Podcast

Dr. Ann Kelley and Hyeseung Song, a first-generation Korean American discuss Hyeseung’s experiences growing up as an Asian minority in America, touching on topics like racial stereotypes, assimilation, and the model minority myth. Hyeseung shares her journey of finding her voice and identity, highlighting the mental health challenges of navigating different cultures and the path to self-acceptance.

Photo by Jack Sorokin

Hyeseung Song is a first-generation Korean American painter and the author of Docile: Memoirs of a Not-So-Perfect Asian Girl (Simon & Schuster). She lives in Brooklyn and upstate New York. Learn more about her at hyeseungsong.com.

Click here to visit Hyeseung’s website

“They Called Us Exceptional” – Prachi Gupta’s Memoir

“The Body Keeps the Score” 

Dr. Kenneth V. Hardy – Author, Professor & Director of the Eikenberg Institute

Suicide statistic: #1 cause of death among young AAPI adults 15-24 is suicide

Check out Hyeseung Song’s book – Docile: Memoirs of a Not-So-Perfect Asian Girl

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/healing-intergenerational-ancestral-trauma-with-linda-thai/

Support the show by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episode

Go to ARMRA.com and use code TU at checkout!

Go to Piquelife.com/tu

Dr. Elliott’s Integrative Attachment Therapy Course Information – Follow this link for 5% off enrollment!

Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation

We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that!  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises!  We invite you to join our community. Click here to join! 

Enjoy this replay episode with Jan Winhall, as we explore how our bodies can guide us towards healing and growth through the concept of “felt sense.” This approach integrates neuroscience and focuses on our innate ability to perceive and respond to our experiences. Winhall’s work challenges conventional views on navigating challenges influenced by culture and trauma.

Interest in David Elliot’s Integrative Attachment Training? Click here!!

Go to ARMRA.com and use code TU at checkout!

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Go to ZocDoc.com/TU

Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberatio

We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that!  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises!  We invite you to join our communit

One of the many incredible aspects of this community are the people we are able to connect and learn with, like Robyn Gobbel. She is a licensed social worker, podcast host, keynote speaker, writer, trainer & consultant – and even host launch this spring. This episode, Ann and Sue joined her on her podcast, “The Baffling Behavior Show”, to talk about secure relating.

Click here to see “The Baffling Behavior Show” show notes 

Looking for our reading and discussion groups? Click here!!

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu142-trauma-informed-therapy-with-kids-with-robyn-gobbel-msw-rpt-s/

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu53-complex-trauma-and-managing-dysregulation-with-guest-robyn-gobbel/

Interest in David Elliot’s Integrative Attachment Training? Click here!!

Go to ARMRA.com and use code TU at checkout!

Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberatio

We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that!  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises!  We invite you to join our communit

As our schedules shift for summer, we think revisiting this episode with expert Lindsey Kealey is the perfect reminder. The warmer weather is great for vacations or some weekend fun in the sun, but we also know that the shift in schedule can be tough for parents and children. Little minds can have big feelings and in the spirit of secure relating, we are taking the opportunity to revisit strategies for teaching kids how to regulate their emotions and promote positive connection with others. Lindsey Kealey introduces a trauma-informed program grounded in neuroscience, employing social-emotional learning and problem-solving techniques to enhance decision-making and relational well-being. Through her Three C’s approach – connect, calm, and collaborate – she aims to revolutionize interpersonal dynamics, empowering individuals to interact more positively with themselves and others.

Click here for Dr. David Elliott’s Integrative Attachment Training 

You can get your copy here!!

Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation

We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that!  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises!  We invite you to join our community. Click here to join! 

Go to Zocdoc.com/TU

Curiosity, emotional honesty and discernment… magic ingredients to preserve and express your security.

Ann and Sue focus on context over the intrapsychic in this episode, which expands on the last thrid of the ideas from their book, Secure Relating Holding Your Own in an Insecure World.

Moving from individual to interpersonal and then societal levels, we discuss the complexities of human connection. Ann and Sue touch on the dark side of empathy and oxytocin, explore leadership and the need for nuance in navigating today’s challenges while aiming to expand beyond just the Western lens. Whether it be with your partner or even how you navigate your community – building security helps every single one of us.  They hope to help you do your part in this crucial work of deepening your connection to the goodness of yourself and others and mobilizing your voice to stand up for those who need us.

1:55 – Deeping security among us 

4:23 – What is a primary?

9:31 – Why we don’t use the word “treatment”

18:37 – Empathy and Oxitocyn aren’t always good 

24:19 – Why receiving opposing feedback is important

Click here to secure your spot in the Secure Relating Reading Pod – starting soon!

You can get your copy here!!

Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation

We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that!  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises!  We invite you to join our community. Click here to join! 

Following the launch of the book, our virtual party, and our Modern Attachment conference in Austin, TX, Ann and Sue open with gratitude from the event, and for the overwhelming outpour of love and support from our community and those who help inspire this content. As we dive into more chapters of the book, we lean into understanding the attachment spectrum colors, recognizing what is happening internally when we feel activated, and shifting activation levels.

00:32 – Trying to process the overwhelming virtual launch with the incredible attachment community

5:02 – Engaging different activation states – looking at Part 2 of Secure Relating

11:02 – Direct look into blue leaning patterns, dismissing attachment activation via Chapter 8

15:32- Understanding the behaviors behind  “blue” with compassion and watching for shame

19:14 – Cooling down red activation – preoccupied patterns via Chapter 9

23:13 – Resolving the unresolved -tye dye patterns and trauma, via a peek into Chapter 10 

Click here to secure your spot in the Secure Relating Reading Pod – starting soon!

You can get your copy here!!

TherapyChat – Friend of the podcast, Laura Reagan, LCSW-C’s podcast

Go to Zocdoc.com/TU 

Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation

We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that!  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises!  We invite you to join our community. Click here to join! 

After years of hard work, Sue and Ann could not be more excited to celebrate the release of their book. Today’s episode offers behind the scene’s conversation and a deeper dive into Part 1 of the book, Secure Relating Holding Your Own in an Insecure World. You can purchase it now directly at www.securerelatingbook.com and get an ad-free podcast feed at www.therapistuncensored.com/join.

1:45 – Information about our book & book launch

15:25 – Breaking down the three section of the book

29:22 – The armor of the sturdy survivor 

31:06 – Sue’s anecdote and analysis of the MMPI test

35:54 – Overview of the Three R Healing Spiral 

45:28 – Reflecting and Building Agency 

Click here to secure your spot in the Secure Relating Reading Pod – starting soon!

Want to join the live virtual book launch on 5/1? Sign up here! 

You can get your copy here!!

Check out AG1 at AthleticGreens.com/TherapistUncensored

Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation

We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that!  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises!  We invite you to join our community. Click here to join! 

Appreciate this podcast?  Then please, help us reach our goal of 7,000 pre-orders for Secure Relating, Holding Your Own in an Insecure World.

Over 100 episodes after their last interview, Ann and Sue are thrilled to be back discussing all things attachment with Dr. David Elliott. Together they delve into the Three Pillars therapy model development, centered around three key elements: enhancing collaboration, fostering metacognition, and constructing new internal working models through imagery. Dr. Elliott elaborates on how the therapeutic journey prioritizes the therapeutic alliance, perspective-taking, and employing mental imagery to cultivate fresh attachment dynamics.

Dr. David Elliott is a licensed psychologist who earned his Ph.D. in Psychology from Harvard University in 1989. His clinical training at Harvard included externships at Tufts University Counseling Centerand St. Elizabeth’s Medical Center, as well as a clinical psychology internship and post-doctoral fellowship at McLean Hospital. He has held leadership positions in the Rhode Island Psychological Association and the Coalition of Mental Health Professionals of Rhode Island. Since 1998, Dr. Elliott has been on the faculty of the International School for Psychotherapy, Counseling, and Group Leadership in St. Petersburg, Russia, and serves as Chair of its International Advisory Board. He also teaches at Psykosyntes Akademin in Stockholm, Sweden. Dr. Elliott’s recent focus has been on secure and insecure attachment, culminating in the co-authoring of “Attachment Disturbances in Adults: Treatment for Comprehensive Repair” in 2016. He conducts workshops internationally on the methods outlined in the book for mental health professionals.

Dr. Elliott’s Website

Dr. Elliott’s Integrative Attachment Therapy Course Information – Follow this link for 5% off enrollment!

Check out Dr. Elliott’s book – Attachment Disturbances in Adults: Treatment for Comprehensive Repair

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/heal-attachment-and-find-security-during-covid/

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu34-treating-attachment-difficulties-with-dr-david-elliott/

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Support the show by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episode

For listeners of the show, Dipsea is offering an extended 30-day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/TU

Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation

We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that!  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises!  We invite you to join our community. Click here to join! 

Pre-order now to meet David Elliott, Carol George, Tina Payne Bryson and many more!

Ann and Sue are back for another deep dive, this time on all things information processing. Using the concept of sunglasses as a metaphor for information distortion, they explain how our internal working models and attachment experiences shape the way we perceive and interpret information. The sunglasses represent different states of activation, with clear glasses indicating a secure state and aviator sunglasses representing a defensive, self-protective state. Sunglasses can affect our relationships – but they don’t have to stop us from building healthy connections. Follow along as we explore the importance of curiosity, self-reflection, and open-mindedness in navigating relationships.

1:06 – Introducing the metaphor of sunglasses

6:27 – Recognizing information distortion and its impact

12:37 – Understanding positive and negative transference

18:15 – Deep dive into the meaning behind the Aviator sunglasses metaphor 

23:28 – The impact of early attachment experiences

35:44 – How our stories can impact the way our nervous system responds

41:01 – Questions can feel threatening neurologically 

43:49 – The crazy 8 anecdote 

45:51 – Being aware of our own sunglass distortions 

Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation

We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that!  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises!  We invite you to join our community. Click here to join! 

Mental Health Liberation is our primary partner at this time – please consider giving whatever you can to support mental health access for those traditionally left behind and support training for BIPOC therapists.

Go to Zocdoc.com/TU 

Pre-order now to meet David Elliott, Carol George, Tina Payne Bryson and many more!

We can understand our social pain by considering the nervous system, just think of it as a collective amygdala hijack!  Threat is pressing us to live in an alarm state and then we get used to it, as if it’s normal to be so divided, hopeless and disdainful to those who are holding different positions in the world. We need to cultivate secure (mature) relating to move ourselves back into a social, relational place that makes us more generous, compassionate and able to work with complexity to stay engaged to solve some of these pressing world and community issues. Keep hope alive!

Ann and Sue delve into the pressing emotional and social challenges confronting our world today. They examine the impact of divisive political rhetoric, the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, collective distrust, and widespread trauma on individuals and society as a whole. Emphasizing the necessity of self-awareness and accountability, they underscore the role each person plays in contributing to collective healing and regulation. Throughout their conversation, Ann and Sue stress the importance of vulnerability, genuine connection, and the pursuit of healing as essential components of addressing systemic issues and promoting relational solutions. They also tackle the complexities of polarization, advocating for open-mindedness, nuance, and empathy in navigating ideological differences and fostering constructive dialogue. Explore the transformative potential of emotions like anger and the power of connection and love in driving positive societal change.

1:42 – Reflecting on current events and polarization 

4:40 – Sue’s bug analogy from the book 

7:55 – Understanding our reactivity 

10:15 – We have to go inward and look inward 

15:25 – Ann’s anecdote of sitting with the discomfort

17:44 – Tools to “hang in there” and to try to stay regulated

18:46 – Explanation of the “certainty virus” 

30:17 – Taking responsibility for our part 

32:23 – The need for vulnerability and safety 

35:15 – Cultivating safety around you 

37:55 – Letting anger inform 

48:34 – Holding our own individually and collectively

50:46 – Keeping hope alive 

58:31 – Recognizing the signs of collectiveness and collective activation

Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation

We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that!  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises!  We invite you to join our community. Click here to join! 

Mental Health Liberation is our primary partner at this time – please consider giving whatever you can to support mental health access for those traditionally left behind and support training for BIPOC therapists.

Go to Zocdoc.com/TU