On this week's episode, I welcome Bob Falconer, Chelsea Odhner, and Jonathan Rose, the co-authors of the new book, Opening the Inner World. We dive into what it means to be both spiritual and plural. If you've ever found yourself wondering how inner work and spiritual seeking overlap, this episode is for you.

We explore:

• What happens when we bring the language of parts into our spiritual lives?

• Can the concept of "Self Energy" connect with notions of divine presence?

• How does the idea of God resonate differently for various people and their inner parts?

• How can IFS be a deeply spiritual path without becoming dogmatic?

• What do we do when belief itself feels like a burden or triggers our inner system?

Favorite Quotes:

• “When people bring in a spiritual experience or a spiritual concept, I don’t want to assume that I know what that means for them.” —Bob Falconer

• “Sometimes in spiritual direction, a part is the one that's praying. And that prayer needs to be honored and held and heard.” —Chelsea Odhner

Find their book here: Opening the Inner World 

Episode Sponsor:

This episode is sponsored by Pisgah Coaching Institute. Founded by IFS-trained master coach Brian Jaudon, a pioneer in the integration of IFS and coaching for more than two decades. Brian and his faculty teach a blended methodology for clarifying and living into a vision of any kind. Learn more at pisgahcoaching.com.

About the Guests:

Chelsea Rose Odhner is a lifelong student of Swedenborg’s teachings with extensive professional experience synthesizing his ideas. Combined with her work as a bodyworker, and an IFS practitioner and coach, Chelsea adds a unique and informed perspective to integrating IFS therapy with the system of the spiritual world that Swedenborg describes.

Robert Falconer is a dedicated therapist and teacher of the IFS model who has contributed significantly to the field through his research and writings. His work focuses on how our minds are not just multiple, but also porous. He brings this lens to IFS, especially in the context of trauma and spiritual experiences.

Jonathan Rose is a scholar of Emanuel Swedenborg and Neo-Latin translator who has published extensively on Swedenborg’s theological and philosophical ideas. He serves as the Series Editor for the New Century Edition of Emanuel Swedenborg’s Theological Works. His expertise brings a deep spiritual dimension to the book, offering readers insights into concepts in Swedenborg’s spirituality that resonate with IFS.

About The One Inside:

Check out The One Inside Substack community to access all episodes, exclusive extended interviews, replays of live events, meditations, and more. 

Find The One Inside Self-Led merch at The One Inside store

Watch video clips from select episodes on  The One Inside on YouTube

Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside. He’s a writer and IFS Level 2 practitioner who specializes in helping therapists create with clarity and confidence.

Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start. 

Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website

Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. 

To learn more about sponsorship opportunties on The One Inside Podcast, email Tammy  

In today's episode, I talk with Michael and Leela Hunter, the creators of UpSpiral Life — a year-long program and community that combines IFS, manifestation, and neurofeedback.

We explore what manifestation really means through an IFS lens, how subconscious parts shape our experience, and why “feeling good” is a nervous system state we can track and train.

Our conversation explores how IFS intersects with manifestation, nervous system states, and the beliefs our parts hold about what’s possible.

Key takeaways:

• How parts influence what we manifest

• Self Energy as a measurable frequency

• Why some protectors are allergic to “feeling good”

• How neurofeedback can support deeper IFS work

• Shifting vibration is getting curious about what’s happening inside

Michael is the founder of UpSpiral.Life, a program and community that helps people move from burnout and disconnection into greater flow, purpose, and alignment. With a background in acupuncture and the arts, Michael guides clients through personal transformation by challenging modern conditioning and helping them reconnect with what truly matters.

Leela is an IFS therapist, consultant, and the Clinical Director of UpSpiral.Life. She supports clients in exploring limiting beliefs and emotional burdens with compassion and curiosity. As an Afghan Muslim woman with over 15 years of experience, Leela brings cultural depth and personal insight to her healing work.

Don't miss my extended interview clip with Michael and Leela on The One Inside Substack. 

Episode Sponsor: Pause With Laura

✨ Give your hard working parts some rest by joining Laura Schmidt, seasoned IFS therapist, for a restorative IFS retreat this Fall at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health.

September 14-19 IFS & LifeForce Yoga Retreat for all

October 19-22  Restore YourSelf Retreat for IFS Professionals

👉🏼 Visit PauseWithLaura.com for all the details and a care package of FREE IFS resources! 🎁

 

About The One Inside:

Check out The One Inside Substack community to access all episodes, exclusive extended interviews, meditations and exercises, and more. 

Find The One Inside Self-Led merch at The One Inside store

Watch video clips from select episodes on  The One Inside on YouTube

Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside. He’s a writer and IFS Level 2 practitioner who specializes in helping therapists create with clarity and confidence.

Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start. 

Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website

Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. 

To learn more about sponsorship opportunties on The One Inside Podcast, email Tammy  

In this week’s episode, I sit down with my friend Julie Honeycutt, a licensed professional counselor, certified IFS therapist, and approved clinical consultant. Julie has been integrating faith and counseling for over 20 years, and in this conversation, we explore how our attachment styles, parts, Enneagram, and developmental stages all shape our prayer life and spiritual connection.

Julie shares that our attachment patterns and spiritual experiences are deeply linked, and how IFS offers a pathway to spirituality and how our different parts, even those with doubts

We explore the idea that prayer doesn’t have to look a certain way. It can show up in movement, in gardening, in painting, or even in those “texting prayers” we send up throughout the day. As Julie says, “What would it be like if our prayer life could reflect the unique way that God made us?”

Julie also introduces the idea of the “levels of faith” and how parts of us may sit at different levels. Some of our parts may still hold early beliefs that we’ve outgrown, but they are still worthy of attention and care. 

We talk about:

• How our parts have different attachment styles in prayer

• Why anxious parts often get exiled in spirituality

• The connection between the Enneagram, personality, and prayer

• How our developmental stage impacts how we experience faith

• Why meeting ourselves in our prayer life without shame changes everything

• How gardening and movement can be a spiritual practice

Julie reminds us that all parts are welcome: “Even that part is welcome.”

About Julie: Julie Honeycutt is a licensed professional counselor, certified IFS therapist for over 15 years and an Approved Clinical Consultant for the IFS Institute. She's been practicing the integration of faith and counseling for over 20 years in her private practice as well as in workshops and retreats. Through stillness-of-mind exercises (what the early Christians called hesychasm), she guides her clients in learning how to discern God over the crowd of voices inside all our parts!  And, she has a myriad of free writings and resources on her website.

 

About The One Inside:

Check out The One Inside Substack community to access all episodes, exclusive extended interviews, meditations and exercises, and more. 

Find The One Inside Self-Led merch at The One Inside store

Watch video clips from select episodes on  The One Inside on YouTube

Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

Jeff Schrum produces The One Inside. He’s a writer and IFS Level 2 practitioner who specializes in helping therapists create with clarity and confidence.

Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start. 

Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website

Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. 

To learn more about sponsorship opportunties on The One Inside Podcast, email Tammy  

On this week's episode I'm thrilled to have my friend and colleague, Dave Adamusko, join me to demystify "direct access"—a powerful technique that allows IFS practitioners to speak directly to a client's parts.

Dave and I dive deep into why direct access is so essential, especially for clients with trauma histories or deeply blended parts who might struggle with more traditional "insight" methods. Dave leads me in a brief session to demonstrate explicit direct access, engaging with a part of me that was feeling annoyed and ignored, and we trace its origins back to a childhood experience. It was such a profound experience!

In this episode, you’ll discover:

• What "direct access" truly means, both for clinicians and for those of us simply navigating our inner worlds.
• How direct access facilitates quick unblending, befriending, and the gathering of powerful insights.
• Why practicing direct access, even with "easier" clients, is crucial for mastery (and something I'm always working on myself!).
• The fascinating connection between direct access and other experiential techniques like Gestalt empty chair and psychodrama.
• The important distinction between explicit and implicit direct access.

And be sure to check out my extended interview with Dave exclusively on Substack.

 

About Dave Adamusko: Dave Adamusko, LMFT is a Certified Internal Family Systems Therapist, and approved IFS Consultant with a private practice in Mesa, AZ. He has been involved in the IFS community since 2015 and has had the privilege of being a Program Assistant for numerous Level 1 trainings as well as a frequent PA for Frank Anderson's L2 Trauma and Neuroscience training. In addition to his therapy private practice he also works as a Guide for Onsite Workshops where he combines his passion for IFS with experiential techniques to create dynamic personal growth workshops. Dave's variety of interests and ADHD have led him to create several passion projects that include (but not limited to): IFS leadership consulting, Experiential Couples Intensives, and recently added, IFS Based Post-Psychedelic Integration Groups.    

 

Episode Sponsor: Life Architect

✨ Get access to 3 IFS webinars organized by Life Architect (featuring Einat Bronstein, Kay Gardner & Robert Falconer, and Ann Sinko) and receive a 30% discount on selected IFS workshops: https://lifearchitect.com/tammy/ ✨

 

About The One Inside:

Check out The One Inside Substack community to access all episodes, exclusive extended interviews, meditations and exercises, and more. 

Find The One Inside Self-Led merch at The One Inside store

Watch video clips from select episodes on  The One Inside on YouTube

Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside. He’s a writer and IFS Level 2 practitioner who specializes in helping therapists create with clarity and confidence.

Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start. 

Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website

Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. 

To learn more about sponsorship opportunties on The One Inside Podcast, email Tammy  

What if the magic in parenting doesn’t happen in the moment you get it right, but in the moment you come back and repair?

This week, I talk with educator, children’s book author, and Self-led parent Anna Purpero, and I just loved this conversation so much. Anna has two little boys and a big heart, and she shares so honestly about what happens when our protectors take over in parenting and how IFS helped her find a new way forward.

We talk about:

• What happens in our bodies when our kids fight (and why we feel like we're in danger)

• Why repair — not perfection — is the real magic

• The power of separating “who I am” from “what I do” in parenting and beyond

• How Anna uses playful language like “my volcano’s bubbling up” to talk to her kids about parts

• Why naming a part doesn’t mean avoiding responsibility...it helps kids (and grownups) take more

• Why real apologies only come after shame has lifted

• How her creative work flowed from her own healing

Anna’s book My Friends Inside is just beautiful. It’s one of those books that speaks to kids and to the little ones inside us. The language is simple, the illustrations are gorgeous, and the heart behind it? So, so good.

Anna recorded a special reading of her book just for our community and Jeff added page spreads to create a whole little experience out of it. You can find that for free exclusively on Substack.

Come meet your parts and maybe a few new friends inside.

About Anna:

Anna Purpero is an educator and children’s book author based in Columbus, OH, where she lives with her partner, Jordan, and their two sons (ages 4 and 6). She draws inspiration from her former high school Language Arts students and the teens she mentored through Paper City Mentoring Project, a nonprofit she co-founded and led as Executive Director. She is currently building on her education, including SEL coursework from Fresno Pacific University and training through the Self-Leadership Collaborative. She hopes to continue to use art to facilitate experiential learning and inspire children to hold tight to their dignity and spark. Her debut picture book, My Friends Inside, is available now! 

Episode Sponsor:

Inner World Collective

A supportive community can change everything when you're learning and applying the IFS model. The Collective is an online space for IFS therapists and practitioners to connect with like-minded professionals, build confidence, refine their skills, and feel truly supported as they bring IFS into their clinical work. Inside, you'll find expert consultation, supervised and peer-led practice groups, monthly guest speakers, recorded demos and demo groups, and Self-led workshops—all designed to help you flourish as an IFS practitioner.

About The One Inside:

Check out The One Inside Substack community to access all episodes, exclusive extended interviews, meditations and exercises, and more. 

Find The One Inside Self-Led merch at The One Inside store

Watch video clips from select episodes on  The One Inside on YouTube

Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside. He’s a writer and IFS Level 2 practitioner who specializes in helping therapists create with clarity and confidence.

Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start. 

Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website

Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. 

To learn more about sponsorship opportunties on The One Inside Podcast, email Tammy  

Britt Frank escaped a cult, rebuilt her life after addiction, and is one of the most grounded, funny, and inspiring IFS speakers and educators around.

In this week’s episode, we talk about her new book Align Your Mind, and how parts work helped her move from chaos to clarity.

We get into all of it...motivation, procrastination, inner critics, cults, menopause, and what alignment looks like beyond the buzzwords.

Britt shares how she uses parts language in her own life, how she reframes procrastination as protection, and why your most extreme parts might actually be your best coaches.

She also opens up about what it’s like to come out of systems of control and begin to trust your own experience again. As Britt says, “Our parts don’t want us to feel better. They want us to feel safe.”

If you’ve ever felt stuck or like your parts are pulling you in opposite directions, this conversation is for you.

In this episode, we talk about:

• What alignment really means (hint: it’s not a vibe)

• How procrastination isn’t laziness; it’s a protective part trying to help

• Why “Self Energy is not codependency in a pretty dress”

• Reframing the inner critic as your best coach

• What it means to “coach your parts like a team”

• How parts work can reframe midlife and menopause as meaningful transitions

• Parts work as a way to “rewrite the script” with compassion and clarity

Favorite Quote:

“I want to talk to the parts of you that are doing weird things and say, ‘You're not crazy. You're a person with an activated nervous system, and there's a reason why this is happening.’” – Britt Frank

 

Be sure to catch my extended interview with Britt over on Substack, where she talks about her complicated relationship with "hope" -- and what she reaches for instead.

About Britt: Britt Frank, LCSWS, SEP, is an IFS Level 3 therapist, keynote speaker, and the author of The Science of Stuck and Align Your Mind. She’s trained in Internal Family Systems and Somatic Experiencing and is a contributing columnist to Psychology Today. Her work has been featured in Forbes, NPR, Fast Company, Psych Central, SELF, and Thrive Global.

.

Episode Sponsor: Life Architect

✨ Get access to 3 IFS webinars organized by Life Architect (featuring Einat Bronstein, Kay Gardner & Robert Falconer, and Ann Sinko) and receive a 30% discount on selected IFS workshops: https://lifearchitect.com/tammy/ ✨

 

About The One Inside:

Check out The One Inside Substack community to access all episodes, exclusive extended interviews, meditations and exercises, and more. 

Find The One Inside Self-Led merch at The One Inside store

Watch video clips from select episodes on  The One Inside on YouTube

Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside. He’s a writer and IFS Level 2 practitioner who specializes in helping therapists create with clarity and confidence.

Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start. 

Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website

Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. 

To learn more about sponsorship opportunties on The One Inside Podcast, email Tammy  

In this week's episode I welcome three guests--Robin Barre, Ann-Katrin Bockmann, and Kasra Mirzaie--to talk about IFS and working with teenagers.

We explore how IFS often skips over this phase of life, both in how we work with clients and how we relate to our own inner adolescent parts. We tend to romanticize childhood or focus on early wounding, yet there’s a lot of cringing and avoiding when it comes to the teenage years. Adolescence is where so much transformation happens. It’s where meaning gets made. It’s when parts start to emerge with passion, intensity, and voice.

My guests are each doing beautiful work in the world to support teens. Our teens (and teen parts) need room to grow, roll their eyes, slam doors, and ask big existential questions. This episode makes space for and sense of it all.

We talk about normalizing rebellion, exploring identity, meaning making, and listening deeply to the parts of ourselves and our teens who are still figuring it all out. We also talk how IFS can overlook the developmental and cultural realities of adolescence.

This conversation left me feeling full of insight and hope. Speaking of hope, be sure to check out my extended interview with this trio over on The One Inside on Substack, where they each share what is giving them hope right now. 

In this episode, we explore:

• Why adolescence often gets skipped over in parts work

• What we miss when we pathologize normal adolescent development and behavior

• The meaning crisis and mental health crisis we are currently experiencing

• The difference between burdens and suffering that transforms

• Why validation is essential for connecting with teens

• How Self-Led parenting looks different during the teen years

Questions to carry with you:

• What would it be like to revisit your inner teenager with curiosity?

• Which of your parts “woke up” during adolescence?

• What did you need then, and how might you offer it now?

About my guests:

Ann-Katrin Bockmann, Ph.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist and speech therapist, certified IFS and Somatic IFS therapist, IFS approved clinical consultant and Co Lead Trainer for the IFS Institute. She works at the Institute of Psychology at Hildesheim University (Germany) and in private practice.

Kasra Mirzaie is a licensed psychotherapist, research assistant, and teacher in Germany who works with people of all ages in diverse psychological, educational and medical contexts. 

Robin Barre is a Level 3 trained IFS psychotherapist and approved consultant. She also is a professional consultant for those who provide services for adolescents.

 

Episode Sponsors:

IFS Demoz 

Curious what Internal Family Systems looks like in action? Join IFS Demoz, a live demonstration series led by IFS pioneer Mike Elkin. Each week, Mike takes on real-world challenges through one-on-one role play, modeling IFS techniques in real time. Whether you're new to IFS or a seasoned practitioner, these sessions offer powerful insights into how the model truly works. Each demo includes an open, inclusive Q&A—so bring your curiosity. Live sessions happen weekly on Zoom, and recordings are available to all registrants.

Inner World Collective

A supportive community can change everything when you're learning and applying the IFS model. The Collective is an online space for IFS therapists and practitioners to connect with like-minded professionals, build confidence, refine their skills, and feel truly supported as they bring IFS into their clinical work. Inside, you'll find expert consultation, supervised and peer-led practice groups, monthly guest speakers, recorded demos and demo groups, and Self-led workshops—all designed to help you flourish as an IFS practitioner.

About The One Inside:

Check out The One Inside Substack community to access all episodes, exclusive extended interviews, meditations and exercises, and more. 

Find The One Inside Self-Led merch at The One Inside store

Watch video clips from select episodes on  The One Inside on YouTube

Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside. He’s a writer and IFS Level 2 practitioner who specializes in helping therapists create with clarity and confidence.

Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start. 

Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website

Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. 

To learn more about sponsorship opportunties on The One Inside Podcast, email Tammy  

I’m so thrilled to welcome Dick Schwartz, the founder of Internal Family Systems (IFS), back to the podcast, as well as my friend Ocean, who brings her voice and lived experience to this important conversation.

Today, we explore the intersection between IFS and the plural community--those living with DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) and OSDD (Other Specified Dissociative Disorders). What’s the difference between DI parts and the IFS parts many of us talk about? How can we bridge misunderstandings between the IFS community and those living with more distinct parts? 

This conversation was deeply moving and healing. I’m so grateful to both Dick and Ocean for their honesty, wisdom, and compassion.

In this episode, we explore:

• The differences and overlap between DI parts and IFS parts

• Why the plural community has sometimes felt unseen and misunderstood by IFS

• The harm in labeling parts as managers, firefightes and exiles

• The complicated relationship many survivors have with Self Energy

• Strategies for working with systems shaped by deep trauma

• Why trust, patience, and honoring every part is a prerequisite to healing

 

Be sure to watch the extended video interview with Dick and Ocean over on our Substack. 

  Favorite Quotes: “IFS was never meant to pathologize people. It was meant to honor the fact that all of us are multiple, and that those parts aren’t what they seem.” — Dick Schwartz "There’s a huge difference between saying, 'Your parts are managers, firefighters, and exiles,' and saying, 'I’m noticing some of your parts seem to be taking on these roles to protect you.'" — Ocean 

 

About Tiffany "Ocean" Morgan

Tiffany Morgan (Ocean) is a Certified IFS therapist, consultant, and educator with lived experience of OSDD (Otherwise Specified Dissociative Disorder). She specializes in eating disorders, complex PTSD, and dissociative disorders, and brings over 30 years of experience to her work supporting deep healing and system-wide trust.

She is passionate about destigmatizing DID, neurodivergence, and the multiplicity of mind. She creates compassionate, inclusive spaces where all parts are welcome and seen. She also shares resources and reflections through her platform, tidesoftransformation.com, and co-sponsors the podcast A Couple of Multiples.

About Richard "Dick" Schwartz

Dr. Richard Schwartz is the founder of the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of therapy., He is the author of several books, including No Bad Parts and You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For, and continues to lead workshops and trainings worldwide through the IFS Institute.

Episode Sponsors: Pisgah Coaching Institute

Founded by IFS trained master coach Brian Jaudon, a pioneer in the integration of IFS and coaching for more than two decades. Brian and his faculty teach a blended methodology for clarifying and living into a vision of any kind. Enrollment is now open for his 2026 training. pisgahcoaching.com

Cape Cod Institute

This summer, deepen your practice with half-day CE courses at the Cape Cod Institute, offered in person on Cape Cod or live online from anywhere. Learn from IFS leaders Jeanne Catanzaro, Richard Schwartz, and Cece Sykes, or explore topics like mindfulness, couples therapy and leadership and many more with experts shaping the field. Celebrating 45 years, the 2025 season runs from June, 30 to August, 22. Start your day with interactive learning, then spend your afternoons applying new insights with clients, connecting with colleagues or exploring the cape. Learn more and register at www.cape.org Use Discount Code: theoneinside for $50 off.

 

About The One Inside:

Check out The One Inside Substack community to access all episodes, exclusive extended interviews, meditations and exercises, and more. 

Find The One Inside Self-Led merch at The One Inside store

Watch video clips from select episodes on  The One Inside on YouTube

Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside. He’s a writer and IFS Level 2 practitioner who specializes in helping therapists create with clarity and confidence.

Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start. 

Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website

Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. 

To learn more about sponsorship opportunties on The One Inside Podcast, email Tammy  

On today's episode I chat with Susan Stiffelman, a licensed marriage and family therapist, author, parenting coach, and host of the Parenting Without Power Struggles podcast. We talk about parts, of course. Parenting parts. Spiritual seeker parts. Inner children who hide behind locked doors. And how she gently helps people return to center.

Susan shares stories from her work and from her own life, including how she stayed connected to herself (and her child) during a divorce, and why she believes parenting is one of life's most profound trailheads.

Key takeaways from this episode:

• What happens when we parent from our “hijacked” parts

• The power of staying tethered to ourselves, even when our kids are dysregulated

• How to move out of the “fixer” role and into the calm anchor our kids need

• What’s underneath those big reactions?

• Why she says: “We are a society of disembodied people”

• What parts of you get activated when your child is dysregulated or distressed?

• Can you be curious about the fear underneath your frustration?

• What would it mean to “sit in the fire” without jumping in to fix it?

 

Susan welcomed me on her podcast recently to talk all things parenting + IFS, which I hope you'll check out as well.  Register for our live Self-Led Parenting Masterclass  happening May 1, 2025 (replay available)

 

Favorite quote: “This isn’t about parenting, it’s about the journey of coming home to our true nature.” -- Susan Stiffelman

 

About Susan Stiffelman

Susan Stiffelman is a licensed Marriage, Family, and Child Therapist and the author of Parenting Without Power Strugglesand Parenting With Presence (an Eckhart Tolle Edition). She helps parents become the calm, confident “Captain of the ship”. Susan hosts a popular podcast with over 1.5 million downloads and offers online classes and memberships with guest experts like Dan Siegel, Byron Katie, and Gabor Maté.

 

Episode Sponsor: Life Architect

✨ Get access to 3 IFS webinars organized by Life Architect (featuring Einat Bronstein, Kay Gardner & Robert Falconer, and Ann Sinko) and receive a 30% discount on selected IFS workshops: https://lifearchitect.com/tammy/ ✨

 

About The One Inside:

Check out The One Inside Substack community to access all episodes, exclusive extended interviews, meditations and exercises, and more. 

Find The One Inside Self-Led merch at The One Inside store

Watch video clips from select episodes on  The One Inside on YouTube

Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside. He’s a writer and IFS Level 2 practitioner who specializes in helping therapists create with clarity and confidence.

Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start. 

Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website

Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. 

To learn more about sponsorship opportunties on The One Inside Podcast, email Tammy  

On today’s episode I meet Jessica Laurel Kane, a writer, illustrator, and storyteller whose new book, Once Upon an Upset: Illustrated Stories, Insights, and Reflections to Help Parent Our Children While Re-Parenting Ourselves, captures the spirit of Internal Family Systems in such an authentic and creative way. 

Jessica isn’t formally trained in IFS, but she lives it and teaches it through her stories, illusrations, and books. She discovered IFS organically during a slient retreat and got to know her inner world by interviewing her parts--like characters in a story. 

Her work shows how imagination can be a healing tool. She makes “being with your parts” feel accessible, visual, and real. This episode is about the power of healing through storytelling, and I think you’re going to love hearing Jessica tell hers.

 

Key Takeaways:

• “I treated myself the way I was treated.” Jessica describes how growing up with neglect led to internal self-neglect and how getting to know her parts shifted that pattern.

• How a 10-day silent retreat helped her meet the younger selves she’d been avoiding, and why she started interviewing them like characters in a story.

• “Only you get to say when you’ll give birth to your creative self.” Jessica shares how parts of us often hold the key to our creativity and our stuckness.

• Parenting as a mirror: how Jessica hears old internal voices while parenting her son, and how she learned to pause, check in, and choose a different path.

• “The glue is compassion.” A conversation about looping thoughts, panic attacks, and what it takes to rewire old stories with new ones.

• How her late mother planted the seeds for the parts work and self trust Jessica now uses to nurture herself and her son.

Favorite Quote:

"Sometimes I search desperately outside of myself for a place to rest and be still, forgetting that this place is inside of me."—Jessica Laurel Kane

About Jessica

Jessica Laurel Kane is the author of several books, most recently: Leaving Cleveland: A Memoir, The Boy with the Heavy Suitcase (a picture book) and Once Upon an Upset: Illustrated Stories, Insights and Reflections to Help Parent Our Children While Reparenting Ourselves. She lives in Upstate New York with her husband and son. 

Episode Sponsor:

Michelle Glass

Whether you’re IFS-trained and supporting clients in medicine work or a psychedelic facilitator looking to integrate IFS, Michelle Glass offers courses designed to build confidence in preparation, journey, and integration. Courses include:  “Supporting Clients’ Psychedelic Journeys Utilizing IFS” or her 22-Hour “Comprehensive IFS Introduction for Psychedelic Facilitators.” Learn more at thelistenerllc.com

 

Upcoming Events:

The Science of Calm free online summit April 21 - May 4, 2025

Self-Led Parenting: How Internal Family Systems Can Transform Your Family's Life - a course I'm leading with Susan Stiffelman on May 1, 2025 

 

About The One Inside:

Check out The One Inside Substack community to access all episodes, exclusive extended interviews, meditations and exercises, and more. 

Find The One Inside Self-Led merch at The One Inside store

Watch video clips from select episodes on  The One Inside on YouTube

Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside. He’s a writer and IFS Level 2 practitioner who specializes in helping therapists create with clarity and confidence.

Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start. 

Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website

Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. Jack is a graduate of Derek Scott’s IFS Stepping Stones Program.  

If you are interested in sponsoring an episode or two of The One Inside Podcast please contact Tammy at [email protected]