We all feel numb sometimes. Our numbing parts protect us from stress, pain, and overwhelm. But what happens when numbness lingers?

As we kick off The One Inside's seventh season, Jeff and I share what we've learned about working with numbing parts. We led a workshop at the recent 2025 IFS Annual Conference called Why Check In When You Can Check Out: A Self-Led Approach to Numbing Parts.

In this episode we walk you through the highlights of our workshop and share a few of the insights we brought home from the conference.

We discuss:

• What I discovered about numbness, embodiment, and grief this past year

• Numb parts are "invisible protectors" and why simply naming the numb matters

• The compounding opportunity costs of numbing and what we miss when we spend too much time checked out

• The grief of emerging from numbness

• How numbness shows up across generations and cultures

• The NUMB framework we created for reconnecting with Self

I keep returning to this slide from our deck: Our protectors think they're saving our lives, but sometimes they're quietly stealing our vitality.

I share a lot about my numb season, and how naming the "nothing" became a game-changer. I hope as you listen you'll notice your own ways of checking in and checking out and name the places where numbness shows up for you.

This week's episode is sponsored by:

Pisgah Coaching Institute: Founded by IFS-trained master coach Brian Jaudon, a pioneer in the integration of IFS and coaching for more than two decades. Brian and his faculty teach a blended methodology for clarifying and living into a vision of any kind. pisgahcoaching.com

Pause With Laura: Restore Your Self Retreat for IFS Therapists & Practitioners at Kripalu, October 19-22, 2025. Download FREE IFS Resources from Laura (PDF & guided meditations). Join our Pause with Laura community for monthly Parts Reflections and deals on upcoming offerings.

I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.

• Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, live events, meditations, and extended interviews.

• Find merch at The One Inside store.

• Listen to episodes and watch select clips on YouTube.

• Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

I create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS coach who helps practitioners create with confidence and clarity.

• New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start.

• Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away.

Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.

In this episode I chat with Joe Bielling, a Level 3 IFS practitioner, licensed therapist, and co-author of From Broken to Badass. We talk about what happens when coping, adapting, and belonging slowly pull us away from ourselves, and how to find your way back.

Joe shares parts of his personal story, including a period he describes as a mental breakdown and spiritual awakening, and how IFS helped him slow down, notice his parts, and reconnect with his body, heart, and Self Energy.

We discuss:

• Self-forgetting, people-pleasing, and the "chameleon" strategies of belonging

• How Enneagram dynamics show up in relationships and identity

• Unblending as both a psychological process and a spiritual experience

• Why "the resistance is actually part of the path"

• How IFS and non-duality can point to more than either-or thinking

• Why staying "broken" can feel safer to some parts of us

• Gratitude for coping strategies before trying to change them

• The question underneath it all: Who is the one behind my eyes?

Extended Substack Conversation

In the extended interview over on Substack, Joe and I talk about hope, embodiment, trauma, and the Enneagram centers. Joe shares what helps him stay embodied now and where he's finding hope.

About Joe Bielling

Joe Bielling is a licensed therapist and Level 3 IFS practitioner. He is the co-author with Kate West of From Broken to Badass, a practical IFS based book that helps people break free from high level coping strategies, and old outdated survival patterns, into empowered living. Their work brings together Internal Family Systems, nervous system science, and to help people find real freedom through embodied presence. Joe is also the founder of Unify Yourself — a national collaboration platform exploring the intersection of spirituality, psychology, and community.

This episode is sponsored by the Unblend.me web app. You know those moments between sessions when something comes up and you need a gentle nudge to pause, slow down and go inside? The Unblend app helps you do just that. It's IFS informed, HIPAA compliant, and guides you through checking in with your parts to calm your nervous system. Learn more and try it for free at Unblend.me

I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.

• Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more.

• Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store.

• Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube.

• Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach.

• New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start.

• Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away.

Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.

In this episode I talk with Anna Christine "AC" Seiple about slowing down, embodiment, and what it means to listen to our bodies and our parts.

AC is a licensed counselor and the author of The Sacred Art of Slowing Down. She lives in St. Andrews, Scotland, where she's working on her PhD exploring the intersection of ancient contemplative practices and modern mindfulness.

She shares why she felt called to write her book, how slowing down was not something she chose at first but something life required of her, and how chronic pain, illness, and unexpected disruptions shaped her relationship with her body. She talks honestly about what it's like to move from living primarily in the head, to slowly rebuilding trust with the body.

Takeaways from this episode:

• why slowing down often happens through life events rather than choice • how disconnection from the body can begin as a survival strategy • the role of self compassion and curiosity when parts resist slowing down • how faith, culture, and early messages can shape our relationship with our bodies • the importance of establishing safety before forcing embodiment • how slowing down and embodiment support parts that have been neglected • what it means to build new "muscle memory" with our nervous systems and parts • how seasons, light, and cycles mirror internal emotional rhythms

I loved how she normalized how hard this work can be, and how she reminded us that slowing down does not mean changing who we are or stopping our lives. This conversation felt especially timely as the year winds down, a time when slowing down can feel counterintuitive.

We continue part of this conversation in an extended interview for our paid community over on Substack, where we talk more about hope, seasons, and what it looks like to live with greater acceptance of where we are.

About Anna Christine Seiple

Anna Christine ("AC") is a licensed counselor, retreat leader, and researcher. She loves cultivating healing spaces that honor the entirety of our embodied beings. She holds two master's degrees, one in clinical mental health counseling and a second in ancient languages and is currently working on a PhD at the University of St Andrews in Scotland, exploring conversations between ancient contemplative practices and mindfulness interventions. Her writing, along with free integrative resources, can be found on her website.

I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.

• Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more.

• Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store.

• Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube.

• Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach.

• New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start.

• Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away.

Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.

This week I talk with IFS therapist and teacher, Kendhal Hart, about the real-world practice of IFS, how she integrates it with EMDR, and her view of IFS as a neurodivergent clinician.

Kendhal is the author of Treating Trauma with EMDR and IFS, a new book that offers clinicians a practical and compassionate guide to integrating the two models.

She shares openly about her recent autism diagnosis and how her neurodifferences shapes the way she understands, lives, and teaches Internal Family Systems. We explore what it looks like to practice IFS in real time, outside of demos, outside of formal training, and inside the small everyday moments where our parts and Self show up.

We discuss:

• Practical IFS steps tailored for neurodivergent minds

• What's missing in many IFS trainings

• How EMDR complements the IFS healing steps

• Befriending parts before moving to Phase 4 of EMDR

• How to track our internal systems throughout the day

• How to reflect parts and Self back to clients in simple terms

• IFS as a lifestyle

I didn't want this conversation to end. If you love IFS and want a fresh take on living and embodying it every day, in the real world, this episode is for you.

Kendhal's book: Treating Trauma with EMDR and IFS: A Clinician's Guide to Integrating Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy with Internal Family Systems

About Kendhal Dr. Kendhal Hart is a trainer, consultant, and trauma educator who helps therapists integrate IFS and EMDR. She is known for her nuanced, experiential approach to teaching and for supporting clinicians in developing confidence, clinical intuition, and sustainable practice.

I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.

• Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more.

• Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store.

• Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube.

• Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach.

• New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start.

• Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away.

Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.

In this episode I talk with Ronda Bonfanti, an IFS client, memoirist, and self-described "IFS cheerleader," who reached out to me earlier this year to share her beautiful memoir, Talk to the Trees: From CPTSD to Loving Me.

Ronda has been on a healing journey for more than 25 years. She's done "all the therapies," read over 250 self-help books, and spent years trying to understand why she felt so broken inside, even though her life looked beautiful on the outside. When she found IFS, something finally clicked.

We explore:

• Her early years in therapy and why CBT helped a little but never stuck

• How discovering IFS gave her a whole new relationship with her inner world

• Writing her memoir with the support of Frank Anderson and Lissa Rankin

• The healing power of humor and why she sees it as medicine

• Journaling as a doorway into parts work

• What it means to write a letter to shame

• Loneliness on the healing path, and her longing to build IFS-aligned community

• Her dream to combine IFS and pickleball

She also reads one of my favorite chapters from her memoir — a hilarious, moving piece about her early days in therapy, banana splits, and her first meeting with Dr. Frank Anderson.

Ronda is one of those guests who reminds me why we do this work. Her story is tender, courageous, and full of hope. It's a perfect episode for a holiday week.

Learn more about Ronda here.

I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.

• Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more.

• Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store.

• Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube.

• Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach.

• New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start.

• Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away.

Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.

In this episode, I talk with Max Littman, an IFS therapist, consultant, and writer. Max's new book, Internal Family Systems Therapy for Gay and Queer Men: A Companion for After Coming Out, launched the morning we recorded this conversation.

His work centers on attachment, attunement, cultural burdens, and the relational impact of trauma — especially for gay and queer men who are still healing the parts shaped by growing up without safety, guidance, or representation.

We talk about why this book matters, the parts that continue to carry burden even after coming out, and the places where Queer identity, family dynamics, and IFS meet.

"Unburdening offers an opportunity to reclaim a personal embodied sense of spirituality, one that honors our inherent worth and belonging."

Max shares his own story of growing up without language for his identity, the isolation he felt as a teen, and how those experiences shaped his clinical work. He describes a part he calls "teen without guidance," and the insight that came from recognizing how much that part still needed care.

Together, we explore:

• What coming out doesn't automatically heal

• The "teen without guidance" part and why it matters

• How cultural, religious, and family burdens live in the system

• The longing for belonging and its impact on relationships

• How IFS helps gay and queer men reclaim sexuality, connection, and choice

• The role of community, experimentation, and attunement in healing

• The challenge of navigating adulthood with fewer developmental and relational experiences than many same-aged peers received

Be sure to check out Max's blog that I keep hearing so much about.

And don't miss my extended interview with Max over on Substack for paid subscribers.

About Max Littman

Max Littman is an IFS therapist, consultant, and writer based in Oakland. He works at the crossroads of Queer healing, trauma recovery, and attachment. His debut book, Internal Family Systems Therapy for Gay and Queer Men, is available now. Learn more or connect with him at maxlittman.com.

This episode is sponsored by the Unblend.me web app. You know those moments between sessions when something comes up and you need a gentle nudge to pause, slow down and go inside? The Unblend app helps you do just that. It's IFS informed, HIPAA compliant, and guides you through checking in with your parts to calm your nervous system. Learn more and try it for free at Unblend.me

I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.

• Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more.

• Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store.

• Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube.

• Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach.

• New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start.

• Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away.

Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.

In this episode, I talk with Dr. Angele Close, a clinical psychologist, motherhood coach, and certified mindfulness meditation teacher. Her work weaves together Internal Family Systems, mindfulness, and matrescence to help mothers reconnect with themselves and embrace the process of becoming.

She opens up about her own season of disconnection in early motherhood and how discovering IFS helped her find language, clarity, and compassion for the parts within.

Her upcoming book, Unburdening Motherhood: A Guide to Breaking Cycles, Healing Trauma, and Becoming a Self-Led Mom, offers that same roadmap to others.

Together, we explore the parts that push us to be the "good mom," the ones that try to do it all, and how IFS can help us lead ourselves and our families with more Self Energy.

In this conversation, we explore:

• Matrescence is the process of becoming a mom, and why naming it matters

• The "good mom" parts that push us to do it all

• How IFS helps mothers understand the parts activated by parenting

• The tension between control, exhaustion, and letting go

• What happens when protectors soften and play, pleasure, and community return

Whether you're a parent, therapist, or simply curious about how our systems respond to change, this conversation is a gentle invitation to lead with more Self energy in every season of life.

Angele Close is a clinical psychologist, motherhood coach, and certified mindfulness meditation teacher. For more than a decade, she's helped women move beyond fear, perfectionism, and people-pleasing to find confidence and ease in motherhood and beyond.

Her work is deeply guided by Internal Family Systems, which she describes as "a roadmap for understanding ourselves, addressing our pain, and finding a pathway to healing." Her new book, Unburdening Motherhood: A Guide to Breaking Cycles, Healing Trauma, and Becoming a Self-Led Mom , is available for pre-order and will be out in January 2026.

This episode is sponsored by the Unblend web application. You know those moments between sessions when something comes up and you need a gentle nudge to pause, slow down and go inside? The Unblend app helps you do just that. It's IFS informed, HIPAA compliant, and guides you through checking in with your parts to calm your nervous system. Learn more and try it for free at Unblend.me

I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.

• Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more.

• Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store.

• Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube.

• Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach.

• New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start.

• Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away.

Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.

In this episode, I chat with Caitlan Siegenthaler, a Level 2 IFS licensed therapist and podcast host who specializes in IFS and Human Design. What I love about Caitlan's work is how she treats both frameworks as paths home to Self.

She shares how Human Design entered her life and how she integrates it with IFS to help clients befriend their parts. She recently led a Human Design reading session with Dick Schwartz, founder of IFS.

In this conversation, we explore:

• How IFS and Human Design work together to help us return to our authentic Self

• How understanding your Human Design chart can help you connect with your internal system in a whole new way

• The five Human Design energy types and what they can teach us about our systems

• How Human Design mirrors IFS as a spiral — a way of returning, again and again, to Self

• Why curiosity matters more than mastery when exploring new systems

We also recorded an extended interview with Caitlan for our paid Substack community about supervision and consultation — why it matters, how to find it, and how it helps therapists bring more of themselves into the room.

You can connecct with Caitlan at caitlansiegenthaler.com, listen to her Return podcast, and check out her free five-episode series on navigating indecision using Human Design and IFS.

This episode is sponsored by Pisgah Coaching Institute: Founded by IFS-trained master coach Brian Jaudon, a pioneer in the integration of IFS and coaching for more than two decades. Brian and his faculty teach a blended methodology for clarifying and living into a vision of any kind. pisgahcoaching.com

I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.

• Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, live events, meditations, and extended interviews.

• Find merch at The One Inside store.

• Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube.

• Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

I co-create The One Inside with my colleague and friend, Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and creative collaborator.

• New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start.

• Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away.

Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.

How can Internal Family Systems help us prepare for, experience, and integrate psychedelic journeys in a truly Self-led way? And what if Self itself can be the journey, without medicine at all?

In this episode, I talk with Nick Brüss, an IFS practitioner and licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in psychedelic-assisted therapy. What I loved about this conversation is how grounded and humble Nick is about the work. He reminds us that psychedelics can open the door, but Self is what does the healing.

Why listen: Many people are curious about how psychedelics and IFS intersect. This conversation goes deeper into integration, humility, and what it really means to let Self lead before, during, and after expanded states.

In this conversation, we explore:

• How IFS can guide and ground psychedelic experiences through Self Energy

• Why integration, not the journey itself, is where true healing happens

• How to meet expanded states with curiosity, consent, and care for all parts

• How to partner with the medicine to turn toward what needs our attention, bringing the same kind of compassion and curiosity we bring to our parts

• The nervous system and trauma dynamics that often surface after psychedelic experiences

• How Self can open the same sense of connection and wonder that psychedelics reveal

• The risks of spiritual bypass and how to stay Self-led

• What an ethical, Self-led approach to psychedelic healing looks like

Favorite Quotes:

"The real question is, are we partnering with the medicine, or are we giving it all the power?" — Nick Brüss

"Psychedelics don't heal anyone. They open a window. What heals is the relationship with Self." — Nick Brüss

Connect with Nick at www.apracticeoffreedom.com

Pisgah Coaching Institute: Founded by IFS-trained master coach Brian Jaudon, a pioneer in the integration of IFS and coaching for more than two decades. Brian and his faculty teach a blended methodology for clarifying and living into a vision of any kind. pisgahcoaching.com

I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.

• Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, live events, meditations, and extended interviews.

• Find merch at The One Inside store.

• Listen to episodes and watch select clips on YouTube.

• Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

I create The One Inside with my friend, Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner who loves helping clients create with confidence and clarity.

• New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start.

• Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away.

Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.

In today's episode, I talk with Dr. Steve Chee, an integrative East-West physician and certified IFS therapist. Steve is offering an IFS continuity program through the IFS Institute this fall called "The Sacred Nervous System," which brings together neuroscience, mysticism, and relational medicine to help people who have been told they are "too much" or "too sensitive".

In our conversation Steve shares his personal story of being a sensitive child who felt he had to hide what he loved, and the journey of finding relational safety to heal this dynamic. We discuss the importance of love as the source of healing, and how therapeutic models and theories are simply tools to help us get there.

Key takeaways:

• The connection between our nervous system and protective parts

• How a relational safety is needed for healing and for parts to come forward

• The difference between "co-regulation" and "co-revelation" and the role of love in healing

• Why the therapeutic relationship, not the model, is what truly heals

• The importance of explicitly naming love and reclaiming the sacredness of every individual

Episode Sponsor: IFS Institute

This fall, join IFS thought leader Dr. Steve Chee for a powerful journey into The Sacred Nervous System in the IFS Continuity program through the IFS Institute. Designed for those who've completed the Online Circle or an IFS Level 1 Training, this program blends somatic awareness, spiritual insight, and IFS wisdom to help you stay grounded in Self energy—no matter what life brings.

With monthly teaching videos and live sessions September - December this is your space to deepen your healing and your capacity to support others.

Enrollment is open now at ifs-institute.com. Come as you are, stay as you grow with the IFS Continuity program.

About The One Inside:

Check out The One Inside Substack community to access episodes, exclusive extended interviews, meditations and exercises, and more.

Find The One Inside Self-Led merch at The One Inside store

Watch video clips from select episodes on The One Inside on YouTube

Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside. He's a writer and IFS Level 2 practitioner who specializes in helping therapists create with clarity and confidence.

Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start.

Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website

Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast.

To learn more about sponsorship opportunties on The One Inside Podcast, email Tammy