In this episode I talk with Ronda Bonfanti, an IFS client, memoirist, and self-described "IFS cheerleader," who reached out to me earlier this year to share her beautiful memoir, Talk to the Trees: From CPTSD to Loving Me.

Ronda has been on a healing journey for more than 25 years. She's done "all the therapies," read over 250 self-help books, and spent years trying to understand why she felt so broken inside, even though her life looked beautiful on the outside. When she found IFS, something finally clicked.

We explore:

• Her early years in therapy and why CBT helped a little but never stuck

• How discovering IFS gave her a whole new relationship with her inner world

• Writing her memoir with the support of Frank Anderson and Lissa Rankin

• The healing power of humor and why she sees it as medicine

• Journaling as a doorway into parts work

• What it means to write a letter to shame

• Loneliness on the healing path, and her longing to build IFS-aligned community

• Her dream to combine IFS and pickleball

She also reads one of my favorite chapters from her memoir — a hilarious, moving piece about her early days in therapy, banana splits, and her first meeting with Dr. Frank Anderson.

Ronda is one of those guests who reminds me why we do this work. Her story is tender, courageous, and full of hope. It's a perfect episode for a holiday week.

Learn more about Ronda here.

I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.

• Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more.

• Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store.

• Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube.

• Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach.

• New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start.

• Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away.

Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.

In this episode, I talk with Max Littman, an IFS therapist, consultant, and writer. Max's new book, Internal Family Systems Therapy for Gay and Queer Men: A Companion for After Coming Out, launched the morning we recorded this conversation.

His work centers on attachment, attunement, cultural burdens, and the relational impact of trauma — especially for gay and queer men who are still healing the parts shaped by growing up without safety, guidance, or representation.

We talk about why this book matters, the parts that continue to carry burden even after coming out, and the places where Queer identity, family dynamics, and IFS meet.

"Unburdening offers an opportunity to reclaim a personal embodied sense of spirituality, one that honors our inherent worth and belonging."

Max shares his own story of growing up without language for his identity, the isolation he felt as a teen, and how those experiences shaped his clinical work. He describes a part he calls "teen without guidance," and the insight that came from recognizing how much that part still needed care.

Together, we explore:

• What coming out doesn't automatically heal

• The "teen without guidance" part and why it matters

• How cultural, religious, and family burdens live in the system

• The longing for belonging and its impact on relationships

• How IFS helps gay and queer men reclaim sexuality, connection, and choice

• The role of community, experimentation, and attunement in healing

• The challenge of navigating adulthood with fewer developmental and relational experiences than many same-aged peers received

Be sure to check out Max's blog that I keep hearing so much about.

And don't miss my extended interview with Max over on Substack for paid subscribers.

About Max Littman

Max Littman is an IFS therapist, consultant, and writer based in Oakland. He works at the crossroads of Queer healing, trauma recovery, and attachment. His debut book, Internal Family Systems Therapy for Gay and Queer Men, is available now. Learn more or connect with him at maxlittman.com.

This episode is sponsored by the Unblend.me web app. You know those moments between sessions when something comes up and you need a gentle nudge to pause, slow down and go inside? The Unblend app helps you do just that. It's IFS informed, HIPAA compliant, and guides you through checking in with your parts to calm your nervous system. Learn more and try it for free at Unblend.me

I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.

• Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more.

• Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store.

• Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube.

• Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach.

• New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start.

• Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away.

Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.

In this episode, I talk with Dr. Angele Close, a clinical psychologist, motherhood coach, and certified mindfulness meditation teacher. Her work weaves together Internal Family Systems, mindfulness, and matrescence to help mothers reconnect with themselves and embrace the process of becoming.

She opens up about her own season of disconnection in early motherhood and how discovering IFS helped her find language, clarity, and compassion for the parts within.

Her upcoming book, Unburdening Motherhood: A Guide to Breaking Cycles, Healing Trauma, and Becoming a Self-Led Mom, offers that same roadmap to others.

Together, we explore the parts that push us to be the "good mom," the ones that try to do it all, and how IFS can help us lead ourselves and our families with more Self Energy.

In this conversation, we explore:

• Matrescence is the process of becoming a mom, and why naming it matters

• The "good mom" parts that push us to do it all

• How IFS helps mothers understand the parts activated by parenting

• The tension between control, exhaustion, and letting go

• What happens when protectors soften and play, pleasure, and community return

Whether you're a parent, therapist, or simply curious about how our systems respond to change, this conversation is a gentle invitation to lead with more Self energy in every season of life.

Angele Close is a clinical psychologist, motherhood coach, and certified mindfulness meditation teacher. For more than a decade, she's helped women move beyond fear, perfectionism, and people-pleasing to find confidence and ease in motherhood and beyond.

Her work is deeply guided by Internal Family Systems, which she describes as "a roadmap for understanding ourselves, addressing our pain, and finding a pathway to healing." Her new book, Unburdening Motherhood: A Guide to Breaking Cycles, Healing Trauma, and Becoming a Self-Led Mom , is available for pre-order and will be out in January 2026.

This episode is sponsored by the Unblend web application. You know those moments between sessions when something comes up and you need a gentle nudge to pause, slow down and go inside? The Unblend app helps you do just that. It's IFS informed, HIPAA compliant, and guides you through checking in with your parts to calm your nervous system. Learn more and try it for free at Unblend.me

I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.

• Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more.

• Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store.

• Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube.

• Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach.

• New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start.

• Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away.

Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.

In this episode, I chat with Caitlan Siegenthaler, a Level 2 IFS licensed therapist and podcast host who specializes in IFS and Human Design. What I love about Caitlan's work is how she treats both frameworks as paths home to Self.

She shares how Human Design entered her life and how she integrates it with IFS to help clients befriend their parts. She recently led a Human Design reading session with Dick Schwartz, founder of IFS.

In this conversation, we explore:

• How IFS and Human Design work together to help us return to our authentic Self

• How understanding your Human Design chart can help you connect with your internal system in a whole new way

• The five Human Design energy types and what they can teach us about our systems

• How Human Design mirrors IFS as a spiral — a way of returning, again and again, to Self

• Why curiosity matters more than mastery when exploring new systems

We also recorded an extended interview with Caitlan for our paid Substack community about supervision and consultation — why it matters, how to find it, and how it helps therapists bring more of themselves into the room.

You can connecct with Caitlan at caitlansiegenthaler.com, listen to her Return podcast, and check out her free five-episode series on navigating indecision using Human Design and IFS.

This episode is sponsored by Pisgah Coaching Institute: Founded by IFS-trained master coach Brian Jaudon, a pioneer in the integration of IFS and coaching for more than two decades. Brian and his faculty teach a blended methodology for clarifying and living into a vision of any kind. pisgahcoaching.com

I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.

• Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, live events, meditations, and extended interviews.

• Find merch at The One Inside store.

• Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube.

• Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

I co-create The One Inside with my colleague and friend, Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and creative collaborator.

• New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start.

• Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away.

Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.

How can Internal Family Systems help us prepare for, experience, and integrate psychedelic journeys in a truly Self-led way? And what if Self itself can be the journey, without medicine at all?

In this episode, I talk with Nick Brüss, an IFS practitioner and licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in psychedelic-assisted therapy. What I loved about this conversation is how grounded and humble Nick is about the work. He reminds us that psychedelics can open the door, but Self is what does the healing.

Why listen: Many people are curious about how psychedelics and IFS intersect. This conversation goes deeper into integration, humility, and what it really means to let Self lead before, during, and after expanded states.

In this conversation, we explore:

• How IFS can guide and ground psychedelic experiences through Self Energy

• Why integration, not the journey itself, is where true healing happens

• How to meet expanded states with curiosity, consent, and care for all parts

• How to partner with the medicine to turn toward what needs our attention, bringing the same kind of compassion and curiosity we bring to our parts

• The nervous system and trauma dynamics that often surface after psychedelic experiences

• How Self can open the same sense of connection and wonder that psychedelics reveal

• The risks of spiritual bypass and how to stay Self-led

• What an ethical, Self-led approach to psychedelic healing looks like

Favorite Quotes:

"The real question is, are we partnering with the medicine, or are we giving it all the power?" — Nick Brüss

"Psychedelics don't heal anyone. They open a window. What heals is the relationship with Self." — Nick Brüss

Connect with Nick at www.apracticeoffreedom.com

Pisgah Coaching Institute: Founded by IFS-trained master coach Brian Jaudon, a pioneer in the integration of IFS and coaching for more than two decades. Brian and his faculty teach a blended methodology for clarifying and living into a vision of any kind. pisgahcoaching.com

I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.

• Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, live events, meditations, and extended interviews.

• Find merch at The One Inside store.

• Listen to episodes and watch select clips on YouTube.

• Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

I create The One Inside with my friend, Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner who loves helping clients create with confidence and clarity.

• New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start.

• Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away.

Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.

We all feel numb sometimes. Our numbing parts protect us from stress, pain, and overwhelm. But what happens when numbness lingers?

As we kick off The One Inside's seventh season, Jeff and I share what we've learned about working with numbing parts. We led a workshop at the recent 2025 IFS Annual Conference called Why Check In When You Can Check Out: A Self-Led Approach to Numbing Parts.

In this episode we walk you through the highlights of our workshop and share a few of the insights we brought home from the conference.

We discuss:

• What I discovered about numbness, embodiment, and grief this past year

• Numb parts are "invisible protectors" and why simply naming the numb matters

• The compounding opportunity costs of numbing and what we miss when we spend too much time checked out

• The grief of emerging from numbness

• How numbness shows up across generations and cultures

• The NUMB framework we created for reconnecting with Self

I keep returning to this slide from our deck: Our protectors think they're saving our lives, but sometimes they're quietly stealing our vitality.

I share a lot about my numb season, and how naming the "nothing" became a game-changer. I hope as you listen you'll notice your own ways of checking in and checking out and name the places where numbness shows up for you.

This week's episode is sponsored by:

Pisgah Coaching Institute: Founded by IFS-trained master coach Brian Jaudon, a pioneer in the integration of IFS and coaching for more than two decades. Brian and his faculty teach a blended methodology for clarifying and living into a vision of any kind. pisgahcoaching.com

Pause With Laura: Restore Your Self Retreat for IFS Therapists & Practitioners at Kripalu, October 19-22, 2025. Download FREE IFS Resources from Laura (PDF & guided meditations). Join our Pause with Laura community for monthly Parts Reflections and deals on upcoming offerings.

I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.

• Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, live events, meditations, and extended interviews.

• Find merch at The One Inside store.

• Listen to episodes and watch select clips on YouTube.

• Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

I create The One Inside with my friend, Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner who loves helping helpers create with confidence and clarity.

• New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start.

• Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away.

Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.

In today's episode, I talk with Dr. Steve Chee, an integrative East-West physician and certified IFS therapist. Steve is offering an IFS continuity program through the IFS Institute this fall called "The Sacred Nervous System," which brings together neuroscience, mysticism, and relational medicine to help people who have been told they are "too much" or "too sensitive".

In our conversation Steve shares his personal story of being a sensitive child who felt he had to hide what he loved, and the journey of finding relational safety to heal this dynamic. We discuss the importance of love as the source of healing, and how therapeutic models and theories are simply tools to help us get there.

Key takeaways:

• The connection between our nervous system and protective parts

• How a relational safety is needed for healing and for parts to come forward

• The difference between "co-regulation" and "co-revelation" and the role of love in healing

• Why the therapeutic relationship, not the model, is what truly heals

• The importance of explicitly naming love and reclaiming the sacredness of every individual

Episode Sponsor: IFS Institute

This fall, join IFS thought leader Dr. Steve Chee for a powerful journey into The Sacred Nervous System in the IFS Continuity program through the IFS Institute. Designed for those who've completed the Online Circle or an IFS Level 1 Training, this program blends somatic awareness, spiritual insight, and IFS wisdom to help you stay grounded in Self energy—no matter what life brings.

With monthly teaching videos and live sessions September - December this is your space to deepen your healing and your capacity to support others.

Enrollment is open now at ifs-institute.com. Come as you are, stay as you grow with the IFS Continuity program.

About The One Inside:

Check out The One Inside Substack community to access episodes, exclusive extended interviews, meditations and exercises, and more.

Find The One Inside Self-Led merch at The One Inside store

Watch video clips from select episodes on The One Inside on YouTube

Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside. He's a writer and IFS Level 2 practitioner who specializes in helping therapists create with clarity and confidence.

Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start.

Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website

Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast.

To learn more about sponsorship opportunties on The One Inside Podcast, email Tammy

In today's episode, I chat with David Hoffman, a lawyer, mediator, and a founding member of Boston Law Collaborative. David was named "Lawyer of the Year" in Boston, and he even teaches at Harvard!

I love how he's using IFS to help people with conflict. We talk about how IFS has shifted his focus from getting people to settle, to helping them make Self-led choices.

We discuss:

• How does a lawyer and mediator bring the language of parts into a legal setting?
• What is the "reasonable reason" behind "unreasonable behavior" in conflict?
• How can we make decisions from a place of "Self-led" wisdom rather than from our "gladiator parts?"
• How can simply naming a part change the dynamic of a conversation? David shares an example of how saying "there's a greedy part" shifted a negotiation for the better.
• How does the IFS model help us understand ambivalence and the "negotiation within" that happens before we even enter a conflict?

"There's something we can do here to enable people to manage their conflicts more successfully and to be less fearful and less hateful in the world." —David Hoffman

I absolutely loved getting to know David and I'm so glad he's bringing the IFS model to a new audience. He's also offering a new six-week IFS training for lawyers and mediators this fall through the IFS Institute with guest appearances by Dick Schwartz, Mke Elkin, and Fatimah Finney.

Episode Sponsor:

This episode is sponsored by the Internal Family Systems institute. Join renowned attorney and mediator David Hoffman for a six-week live workshop starting this October. Explore how the IFS model can support lawyers, mediators, and conflict professionals to lead with more clarity, compassion, and Self — with special guest appearances by Dick Schwartz, Mike Elkin, and Fatimah Finney, this program offers practical tools for navigating client engagement, negotiation, and ethical decision-making. Space is limited and live attendance is required. Learn more and register now at ifs-institute.com.

About David Hoffman

David Hoffman, a mediator, arbitrator, and founding member of Boston Law Collaborative, has been a leading voice in bringing the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model to the legal community since 2010. He holds Level One IFS training and has co-presented with IFS founder Dr. Richard Schwartz. A plenary speaker at the 2022 IFSI Conference, his work has been featured in the Harvard Negotiation Law Review, where he authored a seminal article on "Mediation, Multiple Minds, and Managing the Negotiation Within." In addition to his private practice, he serves as the John H. Watson, Jr. Lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School, where he integrates the IFS model into his courses.

About The One Inside:

Check out The One Inside Substack community to access all episodes, exclusive extended interviews, replays of live events, meditations, and more.

Find The One Inside Self-Led merch at The One Inside store

Watch video clips from select episodes on The One Inside on YouTube

Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside. He's a writer and IFS Level 2 practitioner who helps therapists create with clarity and confidence.

Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start.

Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website

Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast.

To learn more about sponsorship opportunties on The One Inside Podcast, email Tammy

On this week's episode, I welcome Bob Falconer, Chelsea Odhner, and Jonathan Rose, the co-authors of the new book, Opening the Inner World. We dive into what it means to be both spiritual and plural. If you've ever found yourself wondering how inner work and spiritual seeking overlap, this episode is for you.

We explore:

• What happens when we bring the language of parts into our spiritual lives?

• Can the concept of "Self Energy" connect with notions of divine presence?

• How does the idea of God resonate differently for various people and their inner parts?

• How can IFS be a deeply spiritual path without becoming dogmatic?

• What do we do when belief itself feels like a burden or triggers our inner system?

Favorite Quotes:

• "When people bring in a spiritual experience or a spiritual concept, I don't want to assume that I know what that means for them." —Bob Falconer

• "Sometimes in spiritual direction, a part is the one that's praying. And that prayer needs to be honored and held and heard." —Chelsea Odhner

Find their book here: Opening the Inner World

Episode Sponsor:

This episode is sponsored by Pisgah Coaching Institute. Founded by IFS-trained master coach Brian Jaudon, a pioneer in the integration of IFS and coaching for more than two decades. Brian and his faculty teach a blended methodology for clarifying and living into a vision of any kind. Learn more at pisgahcoaching.com.

About the Guests:

Chelsea Rose Odhner is a lifelong student of Swedenborg's teachings with extensive professional experience synthesizing his ideas. Combined with her work as a bodyworker, and an IFS practitioner and coach, Chelsea adds a unique and informed perspective to integrating IFS therapy with the system of the spiritual world that Swedenborg describes.

Robert Falconer is a dedicated therapist and teacher of the IFS model who has contributed significantly to the field through his research and writings. His work focuses on how our minds are not just multiple, but also porous. He brings this lens to IFS, especially in the context of trauma and spiritual experiences.

Jonathan Rose is a scholar of Emanuel Swedenborg and Neo-Latin translator who has published extensively on Swedenborg's theological and philosophical ideas. He serves as the Series Editor for the New Century Edition of Emanuel Swedenborg's Theological Works. His expertise brings a deep spiritual dimension to the book, offering readers insights into concepts in Swedenborg's spirituality that resonate with IFS.

About The One Inside:

Check out The One Inside Substack community to access all episodes, exclusive extended interviews, replays of live events, meditations, and more.

Find The One Inside Self-Led merch at The One Inside store

Watch video clips from select episodes on The One Inside on YouTube

Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside. He's a writer and IFS Level 2 practitioner who specializes in helping therapists create with clarity and confidence.

Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start.

Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website

Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast.

To learn more about sponsorship opportunties on The One Inside Podcast, email Tammy

In today's episode, I talk with Michael and Leela Hunter, the creators of UpSpiral Life — a year-long program and community that combines IFS, manifestation, and neurofeedback.

We explore what manifestation really means through an IFS lens, how subconscious parts shape our experience, and why "feeling good" is a nervous system state we can track and train.

Our conversation explores how IFS intersects with manifestation, nervous system states, and the beliefs our parts hold about what's possible.

Key takeaways:

• How parts influence what we manifest

• Self Energy as a measurable frequency

• Why some protectors are allergic to "feeling good"

• How neurofeedback can support deeper IFS work

• Shifting vibration is getting curious about what's happening inside

Michael is the founder of UpSpiral.Life, a program and community that helps people move from burnout and disconnection into greater flow, purpose, and alignment. With a background in acupuncture and the arts, Michael guides clients through personal transformation by challenging modern conditioning and helping them reconnect with what truly matters.

Leela is an IFS therapist, consultant, and the Clinical Director of UpSpiral.Life. She supports clients in exploring limiting beliefs and emotional burdens with compassion and curiosity. As an Afghan Muslim woman with over 15 years of experience, Leela brings cultural depth and personal insight to her healing work.

Don't miss my extended interview clip with Michael and Leela on The One Inside Substack.

Episode Sponsor: Pause With Laura

✨ Give your hard working parts some rest by joining Laura Schmidt, seasoned IFS therapist, for a restorative IFS retreat this Fall at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health.

September 14-19 IFS & LifeForce Yoga Retreat for all

October 19-22 Restore YourSelf Retreat for IFS Professionals

👉🏼 Visit PauseWithLaura.com for all the details and a care package of FREE IFS resources! 🎁

About The One Inside:

Check out The One Inside Substack community to access all episodes, exclusive extended interviews, meditations and exercises, and more.

Find The One Inside Self-Led merch at The One Inside store

Watch video clips from select episodes on The One Inside on YouTube

Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside. He's a writer and IFS Level 2 practitioner who specializes in helping therapists create with clarity and confidence.

Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start.

Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website

Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast.

To learn more about sponsorship opportunties on The One Inside Podcast, email Tammy