Trigger Warning: Contains sensitive content & language related to childhood sexual abuse.

In this episode of the Healing Trauma Podcast, Guest Host Dr. Mark McNear talks with Dr. Dan Allender to discuss the profound impact of trauma and the healing power of story work. They explore the complexities of personal narratives, the importance of kindness in therapy, and the long-term journey of healing from trauma. The conversation emphasizes the need for a compassionate approach to understanding one's story and the role of kindness in facilitating healing. Listeners are encouraged to engage with their own stories and recognize the ongoing nature of healing.

takeaways

• Story work can lead to profound healing and joy.
• Engaging with personal trauma stories is essential for healing.
• Kindness is crucial in the therapeutic process.
• Betrayal and powerlessness are common themes in trauma.
• Shame can complicate the experience of pleasure in trauma.
• Touch and arousal can evoke complex feelings in trauma survivors.
• Healing is a lifelong journey, not a quick fix.
• Understanding the past is essential for present healing.
• Kindness differs from niceness; it involves deeper engagement.
• The process of remembering trauma is vital for recovery.

About the Guest: Dr. Dan Allender, co-founder of The Allender Center and founding president of The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology, has pioneered a unique and innovative approach to trauma and abuse therapy over the past 30 years.

https://www.instagram.com/allendercenter/

Guest Host: Dr. Mark McNear

https://www.instagram.com/drmarkmcnear/

*This episode is a re release from an earlier season of the HTP. It is a wonderful conversation about understanding Developmental Trauma.

In this conversation, Monique is chatting with trauma therapist Mily Gomez. Mily discusses the concept of developmental trauma, its impact on emotional regulation, attachment styles, and relationships. She explains how early experiences shape our ability to connect with others and manage our emotions. The discussion also covers the importance of validation, support, and the healing process through reparenting and somatic work. Mily emphasizes the need for individuals to develop tools for self-regulation and the significance of building healthy attachments in adulthood.

takeaways

• Developmental trauma occurs from conception to age two or three.
• Implicit memory affects how we feel without conscious awareness.
• Early experiences set the foundation for emotional regulation.
• Insecure attachment can lead to trust issues in relationships.
• Validation and support are crucial for healing.
• Reparenting oneself is a key part of the healing process.
• Somatic experiencing helps in processing trauma stored in the body.
• Clients can learn to self-regulate their emotions.
• Healthy attachments can be built even after trauma.
• Therapy provides a safe space for exploring difficult emotions.

Find Milly Gomez on IG

https://www.instagram.com/latibulecounseling/

In this conversation, author and trauma therapist Monica DiCristina shares her insights on the importance of naming pain and understanding one's emotional triggers. She discusses her book, 'Your Pain Has A Name,' and emphasizes the significance of accurate diagnosis in therapy. The discussion also touches on the impact of dismissal in therapeutic settings, the dangers of oversimplified healing approaches, and the importance of finding the right therapeutic relationship. Monica encourages listeners to keep seeking understanding and healing, reminding them that they are not alone in their struggles.

takeaways

• Monica wrote her book to help others name their pain.
• Naming pain is essential for separating identity from trauma.
• Many people walk around feeling something is wrong with them.
• Accurate diagnosis is crucial for effective healing.
• Understanding one's wiring can help in managing mental health.
• Dismissal in therapy can lead to feelings of isolation.
• Oversimplified healing approaches can be harmful.
• The therapeutic relationship is key to successful outcomes.
• It's important to find a therapist who feels right for you.
• Everyone's journey to understanding and healing is unique.

Monica's new book: Your Pain Has a Name: A Therapist’s Invitation to Understanding Your Story and Sorting Out Who You Are from What Hurts https://amzn.to/4i3qmxF

Where to Find Monica:

Website: https://monicadicristina.com

Instagram: @monicadicristina

Still Becoming Podcast

In this episode of the Healing Trauma Podcast, Monique Koven speaks with trauma therapist Gina Birkemeier about her book 'Generations Deep,' which explores the impact of generational trauma and the importance of healing. They discuss how family patterns shape our beliefs and behaviors, the significance of corrective experiences in healing, and the role of curiosity in breaking cycles of dysfunction. Gina shares her personal journey of recognizing and addressing inherited trauma, emphasizing the need for supportive relationships and the importance of not navigating this journey alone.

takeaways

• The title of the book is 'Generations Deep, Unmasking Inherited Trauma and Dysfunction to Rewrite Our Stories.'
• Family patterns can carry significant weight and influence our lives.
• Healing is a non-linear process that involves ups and downs.
• Curiosity can help combat shame and rigidity in our lives.
• Corrective experiences are essential for emotional healing.
• Breaking cycles of trauma starts with individual healing.
• It's important to recognize and address inherited beliefs and behaviors.
• Supportive relationships can provide a foundation for healing.
• Self-reflection is crucial in understanding our childhood needs.
• Do not navigate the healing journey alone; seek support.

Find Gina here: Gina Birkemeier, LPC, NCC

Gina's Book: Generations Deep: Unmasking Inherited Dysfunction and Trauma to Rewrite Our Stories Through Faith and Therapy https://amzn.to/3X9ytPC

Generations Workbook: Generations Deep Journal: Write Your Healing Story

https://amzn.to/47lrR6L

In this conversation, Monique and Dr. Maureen Gallagher explore the integration of Somatic Experiencing and Inner Relationship Focusing as powerful tools for healing trauma and understanding the inner critic. They discuss how these methods can help individuals build a compassionate relationship with their experiences, update old emotional learnings, and transform the inner critic into a supportive part of the self. The conversation emphasizes the importance of self-compassion, the role of attachment in personal growth, and the potential for learning these techniques to enhance emotional well-being.

takeaways

• Somatic experiencing connects deeply with the nervous system.
• Inner relationship focusing builds a relationship with somatic experiences.
• The inner critic often stems from old emotional learnings.
• Transforming the inner critic involves understanding its protective role.
• Updating emotional learnings can alleviate unnecessary fears.
• Self-compassion is crucial for personal growth and healing.
• Integrating somatic experiencing with focusing enhances transformation.
• Learning these techniques can be done individually or with guidance.
• Building a secure attachment to self fosters emotional safety.
• Recognizing the inner critic as a part of oneself can change relationships.

About Our Guest: Dr. Maureen Gallagher is a Licensed Psychologist (NY, NJ), Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and Faculty Member, Inner Relationship Focusing Trainer, Emotionally Focused Therapist and Supervisor and a Relational Psychoanalyst. Her work and teaching are dedicated to the embodiment of psychotherapy and related healing disciplines, in which she integrates somatic awareness and the use of somatic intervention along with adult attachment work and a relational focus. She brings a broad range of experience and training to this endeavor, including Certifications in Somatic Experiencing, Inner Relationship Focusing, Relational Psychoanalysis, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Integral Somatic Psychology, SE Touch skills training and Biodynamic Cranial Sacral Therapy. Her clinical work integrates focusing, somatic experiencing, relational psychoanalysis and experiential and process oriented models of attachment theory. She has maintained a private practice for over 20 years. She is the founder of Embodying Psychotherapy.

Get started right away with the Inner Critics Companion Guide: 

https://maureengallagherphd.com/inner-critics-companion-guidebook 

Stay in touch with Maureen via her monthly letter: 

https://maureengallagherphd.com/join-my-newsletter

In this conversation, Monique welcomes back Dr. Lindsay Gibson to discuss the complexities of emotionally immature mothers and their impact on daughters. They explore the characteristics of emotional immaturity, the need for empathy and connection, and the challenges faced by adult children in navigating relationships with such parents. The discussion also touches on healing strategies, the importance of supportive relationships, and the future of parenting emotionally mature children.

takeaways

• Emotional immaturity can manifest in various ways, affecting relationships.
• The need to be seen and understood is fundamental for emotional health.
• Daughters of emotionally immature mothers often feel invisible and misunderstood.
• Empathy is crucial for healthy relationships and emotional maturity.
• Navigating relationships with emotionally immature parents requires self-care and boundaries.
• Healing is a process that involves recognizing and managing one's own emotional needs.
• Supportive friendships can provide the empathy and connection lacking in parental relationships.
• Understanding emotional immaturity can help adult children cope with their experiences.
• Raising emotionally mature children involves fostering empathy and emotional intelligence.
• It's important to acknowledge the pain of unmet emotional needs and work towards healing.

Watch this episode on youtube

https://youtu.be/fthdfUk5WHE?si=X4qmjUrY5jbzT373

Adult children of Emotionally Immature Parents

https://amzn.to/4kpLu1l

Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents: Practical Tools to Establish Boundaries and Reclaim Your Emotional Autonomy 

https://amzn.to/42YKdHg

Self-Care for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: Honor Your Emotions, Nurture Your Self, and Live with Confidence

https://amzn.to/3RTG6XX

Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People: Avoid Emotional Traps, Stand Up for Your Self, and Transform Your Relationships as an Adult Child of Emotionally Immature Parents

https://amzn.to/44qhHRo

Connect with Monique on IG https://www.instagram.com/thehealingtraumapodcast/

This episode is a re release from a previous season.

In this conversation, Monique is talking with Dr. Richard Schwartz, the creator of Internal Family Systems, (IFS) They discuss the model and its application in healing trauma, particularly childhood and complex trauma. Richard emphasizes the importance of understanding the 'self' within IFS, the process of unburdening parts of oneself that carry trauma, and the transformative potential of accessing one's inherent self. The discussion also covers practical techniques for working with protectors and exiled parts.

takeaways

• IFS helps in healing trauma by addressing parts of oneself.
• The self is an untainted essence that knows how to heal.
• Unburdening parts can lead to rapid transformation.
• Curiosity and compassion are key in working with inner critics.
• Healing involves retrieving and nurturing the inner child.
• Protectors must be honored and understood, not fought against.
• Accessing the self can take time and patience.
• Children can easily understand and engage with their parts.
• Spiritual insights suggest that the self is inherent in everyone.
• The upcoming book aims to make IFS accessible to a wider audience.

https://ifs-institute.com/

The Internal Family Systems Workbook: A Guide to Discover Your Self and Heal Your Parts https://amzn.to/3Ky7nPf

No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model https://amzn.to/4mUZHUF

Introduction to Internal Family Systems https://amzn.to/3VPnudK

**Anxiety Recovery & Deep Rest Super Conference Sign up here: http://consciouslife.com/conferences/anxiety-rest?_ef_transaction_id=&oid=3&affid=697

*This episode is being re released on September 30 to honour the National day For Truth And Reconciliation.

In this episode of the Healing Trauma Podcast, host Monique Koven speaks with Nakuset, an Indigenous woman who shares her powerful story of being a survivor of the 60s scoop and the impact of residential schools on her life and family. Nakuset discusses her journey of self-discovery, the challenges faced by Indigenous communities, and her work as the executive director of the Native Women's Shelter in Montreal. The conversation highlights the importance of healing, community support, and the need for accountability in addressing historical injustices.

takeaways

• Trauma recovery is a messy and challenging process.
• The 60s scoop involved the forced adoption of Indigenous children.
• Residential schools had a devastating impact on Indigenous families.
• Sisterly bonds can be both a source of strength and trauma.
• Grief can be transformed into action for social change.
• Empowering Indigenous women is crucial for community healing.
• Creating sustainable solutions for homelessness is essential.
• Collaboration with youth protection is necessary for effective support.
• Accountability for historical injustices is vital for healing.
• Community-driven solutions are key to addressing systemic issues.

https://www.instagram.com/supacree/

Documentary: https://youtu.be/9P4iYYL4FYY?si=tayMiSmckkSWOe9C

*Anxiety Recovery & Deep Rest Super Conference Sign up here: http://consciouslife.com/conferences/anxiety-rest?_ef_transaction_id=&oid=3&affid=697

*This episode is a re release from a previous season.

In this conversation, Monique is talking with guest family therapist Sidu Arroyo about the critical aspects of emotional regulation, particularly for those with trauma histories. She emphasizes the importance of understanding that emotions are neither good nor bad, and that self-regulation is a skill that requires practice and co-regulation with others. The discussion also addresses the feelings of guilt and shame that parents may experience when they lose control, and the significance of repairing relationships with children after emotional outbursts. Overall, the conversation highlights the need for compassion towards oneself and the importance of creating a safe environment for emotional expression.

takeaways

• Emotions are neither good nor bad; they are experiences.
• Self-regulation is a skill that takes practice.
• Safety is essential for effective self-regulation.
• Co-regulation is crucial for children to learn self-regulation.
• Parents often struggle with guilt and shame after losing control.
• Repairing relationships is vital after emotional outbursts.
• Acknowledging emotions with compassion is important.
• Children need consistent support to develop emotional skills.
• It's okay to be human and make mistakes as a parent.
• This journey of emotional regulation is a process, not linear.

Sidu Arroyo:

https://www.instagram.com/becomingathome/

*Anxiety Recovery & Deep Rest Super Conference Sign up here: http://consciouslife.com/conferences/anxiety-rest?_ef_transaction_id=&oid=3&affid=697

In this conversation, Linda Pevac shares her journey of healing through writing, discussing her three books that explore her experiences as an adoptee and the therapeutic techniques that have aided her growth. She emphasizes the importance of understanding one's identity, the impact of trauma, and the necessity of embracing change for personal development. The discussion also highlights the nuances of the adoptee experience and the significance of creating a safe space for healing.

takeaways

• Healing is a continuous journey that brings joy.
• Writing has been a powerful tool for self-discovery.
• Therapy can help individuals connect with their inner parts.
• Choosing to breathe symbolizes making conscious choices.
• Adoption starts with trauma, affecting identity development.
• Creating a gathering place allows for dialogue with inner parts.
• Truth and authenticity are essential for personal growth.
• Anxiety can cloud creativity and self-expression.
• It's important to challenge the stories we tell ourselves.
• The journey of healing can inspire others to find their own path.
• 
  

Watch this episode on Youtube

https://youtu.be/c6I8Z76syKM

Linda's new book: Choosing to Breathe

https://amzn.to/4mynPMR

The Gathering Place: An Adoptee's Story

https://amzn.to/3JYO1T7

A Fire is Coming

https://amzn.to/4mdBc4y

Linda's website: www.emmastevenswriter.com

https://www.instagram.com/thehealingtraumapodcast/