The ruined birthday. The wrecked anniversary. The gift left in a drawer. It wasn't thoughtlessness.

Dr. Kerry sits down with psychodynamic psychotherapist Lynn Strathdee to break down one of the most painful — and least-named — patterns in narcissistic relationships: the deliberate destruction of special occasions.

Lynn identifies the core drive as pleasure at being the cause — a compulsion rooted in early development that, in character-disordered adults, becomes a form of covert manipulation. Your emotional pain isn't collateral damage. For a narcissist, it's the reward.

In this episode:

If the sabotage only makes sense in hindsight — can you learn to see it in real time?

Kerry and Lynn unpack the quieter signal most survivors train themselves to override: the "something feels a little off" whisper — and how to turn its volume up without becoming paranoid. Plus: the chat-history article that's been haunting Kerry about an ordinary couple, and what one partner had actually been thinking all along.

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the unconscious patterns that keep survivors stuck in repeating relationship cycles. A former educator turned therapist, Lynn brings both clinical training and lived experience to her private practice, where she works with clients online and in person. Her approach goes beyond surface-level psychoeducation to the deeper identity work that creates lasting change.

WEBSITE: https://echoismrecovery.com/

Key Moments

00:00 — "That was the point"

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In this Viewers' Stories episode, Dr. Kerry unpacks the psychological damage done by narcissistic abuse, especially when you’re living with a partner who’s keeping a secret life.

Learn how cheaters use gaslighting, lies, and calculated reality distortion to conceal their betrayals. They want to make you question your own mind so completely that you stop listening to your instincts, destroying your self-trust.

If you've ever felt like you were going crazy, re-reading old texts to prove to yourself what was real, then you’ve experienced this kind of manipulation. And healing from narcissistic abuse begins when you discover your instincts were right all along.

This is the Thursday companion to Monday's interview with therapist Cheryl Camarillo, "Sexual Addiction Looks Nothing Like What You Think"

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Have a story of your own? Share by emailing Dr. Kerry at [email protected] or use this link.

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Most people imagine they'd recognize a sex addict. But here’s the reality most survivors never realize: you were never meant to see it.

Sexual addictive behavior doesn’t look like deception or betrayal; it looks like distance, irritability, or a relationship going cold. You don’t realize you’re with someone who’s living a double life.

In this interview, Dr. Kerry sits down with therapist Cheryl Camarillo, who specializes in sexual addiction and toxic relationships. Together they break down the deception architecture a sex addict builds, how narcissistic traits fuel the compartmentalization, and why partners so often blame themselves before they ever suspect the truth.

If you've ever felt something was deeply wrong in your relationship but couldn't name it, this episode will give you language for what you experienced.

Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment

Want to go deeper?

In the members-only Podcast Extra, learn the specific behavioral signs you’ll notice first. If you're wondering whether what you experienced was real, this is where you'll find your answer.

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

CHERYL CAMARILLO, a trauma-informed social worker demystifies the complexities of deep-seated trauma and offers a compassionate, real-world roadmap for individuals and families navigating life's heaviest struggles. As a social worker, consultant, and adoptive mother, Cheryl has spent decades on the front lines of human resilience. She brings her vast expertise to two critical, modern battlegrounds: sex therapy and sex addiction/partner betrayal trauma.

Website: https://cherylcamarillo.com

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#doublelife #narcissisticabuse #npd #abuse #toxicrelationships #traumarecovery #betrayaltrauma

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Abuse is something we imagine happens behind closed doors. For a lot of survivors, some of the most frightening moments happened not just in the home but in the passenger seat of a moving car.

In this Viewers' Stories episode, Dr. Kerry pulls directly from your comments and unpacks what each one reveals about how narcissists weaponize the car.

It was never about losing the narcissist losing their temper. It was about control. And if you've ever braced yourself just getting into the car with someone, you weren't imagining it.

This is the Thursday companion to Monday's episode with co-host Lynn Strathdee, "Road Rage & Other Terrifying Ways Narcissists Use Cars to Intimidate You."

To go deeper into what to actually do when you can't leave yet, be sure to check out the members-only Podcast Extra covers exactly that. Here's the link.

Have a story of your own? Share by contacting Dr. Kerry at [email protected].

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This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

#roadrage #narcissisticrage #narcissisticabuse #npd #abuse #toxicrelationships #traumarecovery

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If you've ridden in a car with a narcissist, then you've likely experienced them using their driving to intimidate, threaten, or scare you. People with narcissistic traits often use vehicles like a weapon, turning you into more of a hostage instead of a passenger.

This week, Dr. Kerry and co-host Lynn break down why road rage and narcissism frequently co-occur and how the car gets used for far more than just driving, i

If you've survived narcissistic abuse, want to watch the part we couldn't fit into the main episode? Become a paid Substack subscriber and learn:

Tune in this upcoming Thursday for Viewers' Stories where we'll share your road-rage stories.

LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the unconscious patterns that keep survivors stuck in repeating relationship cycles. A former educator turned therapist, Lynn brings both clinical training and lived experience to her private practice, where she works with clients online and in person. Her approach goes beyond surface-level psychoeducation to the deeper identity work that creates lasting change.

Website

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As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

#narcissisticabuse #toxicrelationships #roadrage #narcissists

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Narcissistic abuse doesn't just affect your mind — it gets stored in the mind-body connection.

Do you have the kind of chronic pain no doctor can explain? Does it get worse the harder you try to fix it? Are you bracing, clenching, and shutting down without knowing what's wrong?

In this episode, Dr. Kerry unpacks how narcissistic abuse gets stored in the body, not just the mind. Want to learn more about healing from narcissistic abuse, check out Monday’s episode with Liz Tenuto, The Workout Witch. Watch it here: https://youtu.be/gM9h4GjITpc?si=BxsgI-eUXsrZzTuA

Have a story or realization you'd like Dr. Kerry to take on air? Send it to [email protected].

When you become a paid Substack subscriber, you also join the Toxic-Free Relationship Club — our exclusive community for serious survivors.

As a paid subscriber you also get:

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As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

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What if the chronic pain, the exhaustion, and the sleepless nights aren’t because of stress, or you’re getting older, but because your body keeping the score of narcissistic abuse?

In this episode, Dr. Kerry sits down with somatic healing expert Liz Tenuto, as known The Workout Witch, to explored one of the most overlooked truths: abuse doesn't just impact your mind; it affects your body.

Learn why survivors get trapped in a constant state of fight-or-flight and the surprising reason that talk therapy and EMDR alone often aren't enough to finally heal.

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

In this members-only bonus, Liz walks Dr. Kerry through a simple body self-assessment to learn if you’re storing trauma. Learn the early warning signs before they turn chronic.

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

LIZ TENUTO (known to her millions of followers as The Workout Witch) demystifies somatic healing and offers a compassionate, science-backed roadmap for anyone struggling with the physical aftermath of stress and trauma. As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and an abusive marriage, Liz spent years battling chronic pain, anxiety, and insomnia. She cycled through countless healing trends before discovering the life- changing power of somatics. Today, Liz is a trauma informed practitioner with a degree in psychology, 15 years of teaching experience, and advanced training in somatic movement through Pilates, Reiki, and 6 years of Feldenkrais mentorship with Augusta Moore.

Website

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As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Why has the person who claimed to love you gone years without once saying your name — not even once?

When a narcissist won't say your name, it isn't a quirk. It's name erasure: a slow, deliberate way of treating you as less than a full person.

In this Viewers' Stories episode, Dr. Kerry reads real survivor stories and unpacks four ways the same tactic shows up. Each one is a covert control tactic, and together they're a form of withholding affection most survivors don't recognize as emotional abuse until much later. You'll learn how to read what someone's use of your name reveals about how they actually see you, and why these small omissions add up to something far bigger than rudeness.

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Follow Dr. Kerry!

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism.

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

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What if the sweet pet name your partner calls you isn't affection at all — but rather designed to keep you off balance?

In this episode, Dr. Kerry and co-host Lynn Strathdee unpack one of the strangest and most overlooked patterns in narcissistic relationships: the use of pet names.

Learn why some narcissists even speak about themselves in the third person, and the chilling moment when a "compliment" reveals exactly what they really think of you.

Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment

Want to go deeper?

What does it actually take to heal when the abuse has shaped how you see yourself? In this members-only bonus, Lynn and Dr. Kerry discuss why recovery requires building a stronger sense of self.

Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.

LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the unconscious patterns that keep survivors stuck in repeating relationship cycles. A former educator turned therapist, Lynn brings both clinical training and lived experience to her private practice, where she works with clients online and in person. Her approach goes beyond surface-level psychoeducation to the deeper identity work that creates lasting change.

WEBSITE

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Were you brainwashed to stay — and didn't even know it?

A cult doesn't need a compound, robes, or a manifesto. All it needs is two people: one who sets the rules and one who lives by them.

Dr. Kerry reads your most powerful wake-up moments — from the woman who recognized every cult trait laid down in the first three months of a nine-year relationship, to the viewer who grew up in a home where productivity meant safety, to the one who finally had a word for what she'd survived: brainwashed.

This isn't about missing the signs. It's about a system that was designed to make coercive control feel like love, devotion, and belonging. Have you been struggling to leave? Stop asking why you didn't see it sooner. Start asking if you were trained not to.

Want Dr. Kerry to read your story on air?

Email your question to [email protected].

Submit your question to be answered on air here!

Resources

As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.

This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.